Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Exclusive dating???      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ifeellucky
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 1
Exclusive dating???Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
How many women out there date a man ONE time and have them ask you if you would please ONLY date them so that you can be exclusive??? How many men ask that of a woman after the first or second date? and why???
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 2
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:07:14 PM
yes and it was because he was slightly insane...
 hereIgoagain2009
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 3
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:09:57 PM
Yes I have. I think I dated the same guy as tracyannk. He was insane!
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 4
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:16:05 PM
Generally, I only date one woman at a time and I would never ask it. However, I certainly find it more than a little interesting that women seem to be looking for something "magical" to happen on the first date.. and on finding that wonderful magical thing (chemistry, spark, whatever).. ... would want to keep on looking...

Fascinating.
 gclifestyle
Joined: 11/21/2008
Msg: 5
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:23:42 PM
As I mentioned in similar post...

In my opinion I think you have a pretty good idea if you wish to pursue someone romantically after the second date. If not maybe you should improve your dating skills.

Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned but I only date one person at a time. I mean you can have 2 dates in a few days. If you aren't willing to commit that amount of time to me exclusively then I'm not interested. Sorry...

Oh & I don't mean you have to blow the other guys off just be exclusive for the first 2 dates. Eg 1st date - Monday, 2nd date Wednesday (no other dates on Tuesday). Oh & I don't get physical with anyone on the first 2 dates. Complicates things.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 6
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:30:13 PM
I'm not big on dating multiple men. If I go out with a man and we seem to have a connection, I prefer to see where that may lead. I don't discuss exclusivity right away, but I usually have told them beforehand that I'm not one who dates different men at the same time. They usually feel the same. It just seems to be a natural progression of things without having a definitive discussion on the subject.
 Ifeellucky
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 7
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:52:11 PM
I also agree that you have a good idea by the second date if you want to pursue that person, and out of respect and for the benefit of a healthy experience, I agree, you should not multi-date so that you can give it a chance, but when someone asks you to do so on the first date, I am not so sure that its not a red flag.....
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 8
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:57:48 PM
I was never asked, but would ask the guy. If he was already dating someone, I would tell him to get in touch with me when he wasn't. I only dated one guy at a time and wanted the same chance in return. I don't see it as a commitment, but giving each person the best chance you can give them. If the date didn't work out, you move on. If it did, you go again. Always seemed to work for me.

Dating too many guys at one time was too confusing to me and tiring. I didn't like it and don't feel I gave the men the best chance of it going anywhere.
 Thebestbeancounter
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:09:26 PM
I'll never asked any of the women after the first or 2nd date to be exclusive. I've never been able to make a decision after 2 dates.
 Sublime_One
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 10
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:13:11 PM
That happened to me last year... and he was out of his mind. I mean certifiably insane. I met him on match.com, and he was a cop! It took months for him to realize I wasn't interested.

Just be careful. Situations like this can go fatally wrong.

 Mustangtoni
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 11
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:13:14 PM
I was asked on a first date to be exclusive...I agreed, but was surprised by it...

I prefer dating one on one...getting to know them, giving them my full attention, and hopefully they do the same.
 Sublime_One
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 12
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:18:12 PM

Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned but I only date one person at a time. I mean you can have 2 dates in a few days. If you aren't willing to commit that amount of time to me exclusively then I'm not interested. Sorry...


OMG.. you barely know a person after two dates. I think it's too early to call it exclusive after only two dates. People forget dating is a process to get to know a person. Why is everyone in such a rush to 'go steady'? This is why so many relationships fail. People are missing out on that friendship/courtship phase... which can take months.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 13
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:32:59 PM
All my life, I have only dated one woman at a time, and it has been the same for the women I have dated. From online, that can be a "one and done", so the issue never comes up. but if there is a basis for going forward, it's a one on one process.

I know others like to date multiple people simultaneously, and that's fine. It's simply that I would never be one of those "several" men who she's seeing.

I don't get the point of it, really. You can really get to know someone fairly deeply, fairly quickly if it's a one on one focus, but if it's a multiple people scenario, it's just "dating lite" and seems rather pointless to me.
 Sublime_One
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 14
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:38:22 PM

I know others like to date multiple people simultaneously, and that's fine. It's simply that I would never be one of those "several" men who she's seeing.


Dating someone is just like hanging out, especially the first 3 times. I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with multiple people. Making out, and sleeping with someone is another story, that would call for an exclusive relationship.

When you say date, are you also including sleeping with the person? If so, why would you sleep with someone after just 1 or 2 meetings?
 Mustangtoni
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 15
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:42:36 PM
No, to me dating is getting to know each other on a one to one basis...Not sleeping with them..
I would have to really know them and care about them, before I jump into the sack. And I feel I can only do that, by giving them my undivided attention.
 GubbleBum
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:47:17 PM
I don't recall ever being asked to be exclusive after one date. I think that's something I'd remember. lol! That would send up a gigantic red flag! I'd probably run!

I prefer to date only one man at a time. That doesn't mean I want a commitment from the man I choose to date, I just like to get to know someone and see where things go. I don't see anything wrong with others dating several people at one time though, it's just not what I do. Like someone else posted in another thread, there are times I can't chew gum and walk at the same time, there's no way I can date several people at one time.
 Ifeellucky
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 17
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:47:56 PM
I think that when you enjoy someone and want to see them again, you will stop seeing others and it will come naturally without all the pressure and rules.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:48:19 PM
It's one thing to want to know more about someone you've met a couple times and know you like. It's quite another to pile a heavy serious exclusive expectation on that...

You may not want to look elsewhere, but it doesn't mean you're looking at the one either...you still have a lot to learn about them before you get seriously involved.
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 19
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:22:27 PM
you go out with them...but if you start becoming intimate ...i would think you would want to be with one person...some people can date more than one person...others date one...it depends...but if you do not feel comfortable with the arrangement...then you need to move on
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 20
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:28:39 PM

I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with multiple people.


What perplexes me about this post from Sublime One is that she quoted one of my posts, and the implication was that she was responding to it, where I wrote:

"I know others like to date multiple people simultaneously, and that's fine. It's simply that I would never be one of those "several" men who she's seeing."

I didn't say that there was anything "wrong" with it. I merely said that I would not participate in it. I don't, never have, had an "exclusive" conversation. I've never had to go there, since I was in 8th grade, and "went steady", or when I actually proposed marriage.

So, a woman can do as she pleases, but I would be totally turned off, if she's already dating other men. It's a "deal breaker" for me. And, there's nothing "wrong" with that attitude about dating either.
 Ifeellucky
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 21
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:39:34 PM

So, a woman can do as she pleases, but I would be totally turned off, if she's already dating other men. It's a "deal breaker" for me. And, there's nothing "wrong" with that attitude about dating either.

noone is sitting around waiting for you to ask her out, so the chances of a someone dating other men would be highly likely...especially on this site.... so what do you expect...a nun? or a none? or a bore? or a stay at homebody?
 Mia Cara
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 22
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:55:08 PM
After one date he asks you to be exclusive? I would be thinking control freak and/or low self esteem.

It's flattering that someone would like to be exclusive with you, but for God's sake, you don't say it after the first date. That's just creepy.

I once had someone ask that of me BEFORE we met. That pretty much killed the meet...
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 23
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:57:28 PM

I once had someone ask that of me BEFORE we met.

Did he actually ask you to be exclusive? I've had women ask my opinion about it before we met.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 24
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:00:03 PM

noone is sitting around waiting for you to ask her out, so the chances of a someone dating other men would be highly likely...especially on this site.... so what do you expect...a nun? or a none? or a bore? or a stay at homebody?


I dunno, I've never had all that much trouble "getting a date" with women who I find attractive, and who aren't seeing someone else, when interest starts to develop. But then, I sort of let the "game come to me", rather than trying to "force a shot", by doing a bunch of random emailing to all the pretty pictures. Maybe it's an age thing, but the quality women over 40, generally aren't seeing one guy, while still looking for other options.
 Mustangtoni
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 25
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:02:48 PM
After one date he asks you to be exclusive? I would be thinking control freak and/or low self esteem.

Well whatever his problem was, he stood me up for the second date. And he was on POF all the time still fishing...go figure
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Exclusive dating???