| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:16:48 PM | | Right last wkend I was with a member of my family in a shop when I saw an attractive guy with a friend, once we had done our shopping in that shop I had a look for him outside and didn't see him, but then I went into Tesco's and spotted him there too. Part of me wishes I would have approached him but I could never be that bold and I have talked it over with my friends and they have suggested a chat up line Have I seen you in town..... and to talk with confidence but I know I'd be a bag of nerves especially as he had a friend with him. I did once ask a guy out in a tesco's that was an employee, I was a little nervous but it was easier cos he was by himself. Any tips or suggestions?? | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:21:45 PM | You are 28 years old and have a problem talking to men??
How about just going up to him and saying, "Hi, I noticed you at xxxx (place) and honestly I find you very attractive. Any chance we can talk in the near future and learn more about one another?"
How is that hard? | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:28:42 PM | Print some business cards with something cute -- "Hi -- Callthe number on the back.
Then when you see someone you like -- walk up, hand them a card and walk away -- and never utter a word.
MG | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:31:16 PM | | Talking with the opposite sex or for that matter anyone you find attractive is a very common characteristic, the fear of rejection sucks. Heck I am 42 and I still have a problem with talking to women. Just remember most everyone has a bit of a problem getting the first couple words out, after that they flow a little easier. Make small talk, watch for signals or summon up the courage and tell them you find them attractive. Worse that can happen is they say they don't feel the same. On the other end is you never say anything and you never see them again. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:38:29 PM | | you know how a guy just stares at women's chests all day. time to stick it to the man. stare at his weiner while you talk to him. not only do you not have to look at his eyes, but he'll find it funny and be like, um, my eyes are up here. then you say "can you just turn around for a second i gotta see your butt." objectify, dominate. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:39:57 PM | Op..Be yourself but change your approach a lil .Be a little bit bolder and take a chance. if turned down well there loss ,chin up and chatt up the guys .Nerves yes .but ball up a little bit and take a chance. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:44:48 PM | Accidentlly bump into him, turn grasp his arm a couple times, say I am sorry for bumping into you, then look demure and say, but thank you and then wink | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:50:39 PM | I wish more women would take the initiative. It's always flattering when a woman steps-up and says, "Hi".
You should never be nervous or afraid. If your opening is not received well, so what? Then the guy is a moron. He wasn't for you.
Take the chance. It;s better than wondering if he could have been the next big thing in your life. Now you will never know. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 1:57:46 PM | | It really is hard to believe you are 28 years old. If your ego is going to be shattered because some random guy in a shop rejects you, then don't bother doing it. Otherwise, you go up and say "Hi", it REALLY is that easy. What you say is pretty much irrelevant. He's either going to be attracted to you or he won't. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 2:29:29 PM | | Kinda sad you couldnt have just gone up to him and said Hi. Im sure it would have made his day, and stayed with him all day. what a nice gift. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 3:38:43 PM | I'm glad you asked this. The varied responses are especially illuminating: a bunch of guys who have NO problem asking girls out say "go for it or you're a wuss!" A few who are ALSO nervous as hell asking a stranger on the street out, sympathize with your nervousness while being supportive. I'm one of those, and by the way, captain ego guys, AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I'm 55, and I STILL can't just walk up to a strange woman and say something personal.
I think it's part biological myself, seriously. No, ego guys, it's not just a matter of "balls," I think it's related more to the same brain chemistry that plays into depression/elation. The fact that some people feel little no emotional bruising from such socially risky situations has no bearing on the rest of their worth as human beings: some people who socialize easily are also wonderful people, and some are jerks, and some are even sociopaths.
Anyway, speaking as a relatively shy person, I'd suggest you work out a few, varied cheerful remarks to say to someone in that situation, something simple like "hello again!" might work, followed right away by a question that might coax conversation, such as " are we looking for the same things? What are you here for?" You need something you can be comfortable saying, and again speaking as a fellow bundle of nerves, something that wont make you feel like slitting your wrists if the guy says "oh hi! yeah, I'm trying to find my wife a good gift." | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 5:41:09 PM | Say hi
exchange names.
ask for directions the time.
When he give it to you say " now that we established what time we met ... how about we exchange numbers so you can call me for a cup of coffee later "
If he doesn't know the time say "I guess we have to exchange numbers so you can ask me out for coffee and tell me the time"
smile when you say it ... | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:45:41 PM | I've always wondered what it's like to talk out of my @$$! Some of you guys are showing me. Thanks! Just because you can go up to anybody and say something-whoop-de-doo for you, that does NOT mean that everyone else can do it.
Age has absolutely nothing to do with one's ability or willingness to go up to a complete stranger and start up a conversation. At a young age we were (or most of us) were told not to talk to strangers! We were taught to fear them; it's a fear that some of us don't overcome as quickly as others. For the most part, it has more to do with past experience and upbringing--a byproduct we choose to call "being shy" or "scared". Get shot down a few (hundred) times and you'll get 'gun shy' too genius!**sarcasm**
Anyway OP! Just try saying "Hi" to random people on occasion. Doesn't have to be someone you find attractive; progress to short conversation over time; then longer conversations. Pretty soon, or "over time" you'll become more relaxed talking to random people, and the pucker factor won't be so high on the richter scale. Just take your time and progress at your own rate; you'll become good after a while. So, just consider it practice, and when you finally DO see someone you're interested in; "Cowgirl Up"
Good luck,
Cityboy | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:49:50 PM |
At a young age we were (or most of us) were told not to talk to strangers! We were taught to fear them; it's a fear that some of us don't overcome as quickly as others. For the most part, it has more to do with past experience and upbringing--a byproduct we choose to call "being shy" or "scared". Get shot down a few (hundred) times and you'll get 'gun shy' too genius!**sarcasm**
That was hands down, the biggest load of BS i've EVER read on these forums. 
Anyway OP! Just try saying "Hi" to random people on occasion. Doesn't have to be someone you find attractive; progress to short conversation over time; then longer conversations. Pretty soon, or "over time" you'll become more relaxed talking to random people, and the pucker factor won't be so high on the richter scale. Just take your time and progress at your own rate; you'll become good after a while. So, just consider it practice, and when you finally DO see someone you're interested in; "Cowgirl Up"
This was a close second.
Well done. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:54:53 PM | well, don't forget the Missed Connections section on Craigs list
I don't know if that tacky site is in the U.K.
If part of you could 'never be that bold', then I think posting a Should've, Could've ad in a chat up line would just underscore your nervousness. Either that, or get you a bunch of responses from people who are definitely not this 'attractive ' guy.
this 'friend' he was with, a woman?
A friendly approach to anyone is usually welcomed, I have found.
but.....you know....nothing ventured.....well....nothing ventured.
Hey, next time.
Kimbo | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:46:24 PM | | I have had women ask me out or just simply give me their number. I have always found it to be cute and sweet, do not feel silly or nervous just do it, you might be surprised | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 8:12:36 PM | you know how a guy just stares at women's chests all day. time to stick it to the man. stare at his weiner while you talk to him. not only do you not have to look at his eyes, but he'll find it funny and be like, um, my eyes are up here. then you say "can you just turn around for a second i gotta see your butt." objectify, dominate.
HA HA HA HA OMG! Thats effin hilarious, I'm totally gonna do that next hot guy I see.
Coming from a girl thats completely and utterly shameless and has no problem talking to anyone, just say hi, or something stupid and made up, like "dont I know you from somewhere?" even if you do know them, you can guage their reaction and move forward or move on from there.
I met my ex at Jimboys tacos when I showed up and realized I had forgotten my wallet. He was in front of me in line and I tapped his shoulder and said, "Hi. My name is Xochitl and I have a proposition for you: I have forgotten my wallet, but I have a really good coupon, and if you pay for my food today, I will give you my coupon and next time, dinner is on me." and he smiled and replied, "depends, what kind of coupon and where's the next dinner going to be?" and we spent the whole day together.
Its really that easy.
Happy hunting. | |
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| Seeing a guy in a shop
Posted: 7/28/2009 8:44:10 PM | If I were to approach every attractive lady I came across in the city, then I'd do better holding a sign than I would attempting to chase them down. When I am shopping alone, I tend to be on a mission of procurement. Kind of like the gym - there to get the job done.
I have to admit that if I were single, it would be exciting to be apprehended by a total stranger looking for a date, but exciting for all the wrong reasons. It can be a bit of a turn off when a girl lays all her cards on the table for a complete stranger. Doing so is an invitation for passionate lovemaking, but a disappointment if she pulls back and tries to coach him through the otherwise natural steps.
I don't have any tips for catching the guy shopping with his friend, although I think they have books and videos for guys that show how to lure a lady out of such a situation. Maybe you could check those out if that's you goal. Otherwise, you should stick with the plan to hunt single shoppers and also consider attending functions such as dance classes, art gallery events, etc.
I wish the process of determining the status of strangers in public was easier, but I suspect that technology will enable it in the near future. | |
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