| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:14:10 AM | | Wasn't sure if there was a connection w/ a guy I 've been seeing and talking to for awhile. We decided to be friends and added the "benifits" later. I'm not sure that he is really happy with this arrangement any longer and wants more. I think I might be ready to move things along to a more serious relationship with him. No sure how to go from here | |
|
| |
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:23:10 AM | | Ahh two question thread: In response to your title question, no hate them, never will have one. In response to your thread question.. TALK to him about it. Guys are crap communicators.. take hold of the reigns and start the topic | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:32:27 AM | We (guys) ...ok ok.. I, me, moi like FWB because it's painless, less stressful and more importantly - convenient & simple. One step above "masturbation", better than nothing. And the best part (thanks to women liberation) It's FREE! I don't have to leave money on the night stand...  ----- It's GENIUS !
Now when you try to mix things up and talk about "emotions and all that crap" --- It's time to find a new FWB. What you're trying to do is totally against the idea of FWB arrangement, and your services are no longer required/desired, if ya catch my drift.
So to your question... I personally love 'that' arrangement ..... thanks to "women like to fk too movement" | |
|
| |
| |
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:46:32 AM | Some folks can handle the FWB thing and others cannot. I have known some "conference couples" that since they were seperated by a huge distance just stayed friends but would see each other once or twice a year at some "conference" or event and add some benefits to the equation. They had no expectation (very important) that either would take it further. They just took advantage of times when they were together for as long as it lasted. No hidden agendas for LTR.
Outside of that a few folks can actually pull it off without getting more attached. I am not one of them but I have no reason to suspect that others are not being truthful. There are a few who can stay FWB.
Personally once the benfits kick in I am usually more attracted than before. I see a new and more intimate side of another. If its fun, playful, and healthy I am drawn to learn more about them. Sooner or later it usually becomes exclusive, NOT because I took some oath or a secret handshake but simply because I was HONESTLY more compelled to be with them.
The second part of your question is easy. All things change in time and it is always fair (and a good thing) to ask a partner if the relationship has kept up with any changes in how you (or they) might feel. | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:55:41 AM | | The FWB arrangement is great when the two people involved are open, honest and adequate communicators. I think of it as a "mutual hobby amongst friends", you know, like a "Golfing Buddy", except with excessive nudity and misbehaviour. Plus in an FWB relationship, the partners can concentrate on the sex and be more open about things because the threats of insecurity and jealousy are minimized. Mind you, it's always a temporary situation, while both people are open to finding someone who matches them better in all areas. The key is communication and keeping your FWB informed of your feelings and activities and it's true, if you can't talk about your "status", then it's not a good sign that you can have a more serious relationship with them. Talk, talk, talk and then do it, do it, do it. Everyone should feel good about things and not threatened this way. | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:54:32 AM |
Wasn't sure if there was a connection w/ a guy I 've been seeing and talking to for awhile. We decided to be friends and added the "benifits" later. I'm not sure that he is really happy with this arrangement any longer and wants more. I think I might be ready to move things along to a more serious relationship with him. No sure how to go from here
While it can happen, it doesn't happen very often at all... chances are, he's no happy and ready to move on... not want more... guys are pretty good at telling you what they want....
In the long run FWB usually ends with a break up, not a relationship..... | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:04:04 AM | A FWB is ideal when two people have decided that there is no chance of an LTR. As FWBs, they can concentrate on enjoying each other's company without worrying about implied commitments. When the possibility of more arises, it requires the utmost delicacy in addressing.
You might try saying something like
- I'm enjoying the time we spend together
- I get a sense sometimes that you might be looking at something more, and I just wanted to know if I'm right about this
- Given our situation, we can be honest with each other, no harm done.
- I'm happy to continue as is, but not necessarily averse to changing things if that's what you want.
Pick a good time, preferably not just before or just after the benefits. It can be an awkward subject to bring up, and there is always a risk to even mentioning it. He is probably picking up on your thoughts also. It sounds like it would be better to clear the air.
As for you title question, some guys prefer the arrangement. It is very sensible. Given the difficulty in finding LTRs in this day an age, some guys can live with it and be pretty happy. Most, I think would prefer a committed, I believe. | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:12:59 AM | Someone on the Sex forum just created a thread about how some women want to turn FWB into something more. At least more than men do.
Personally, I have never dealt with NSA, nor FWB. Both are completely pointless, and I don't feel the desire to have casual sex.
Some people claim to only want FWB, but end up wanting something more. Like a relationship.
This is another reason why I don't do FWB. | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:02:42 AM | I've had a couple FWB and one relationship WOB. it was like we had every aspect of a relationship without taking it further. Both have their benefits and pratfalls. It all depends on what it right for YOU.
Everyone and I mean everyone needs a little physicality from the opposite sex (and some the same sex if you go that way) and to deny yourself is just that, denying yourself an experience.
The thing is: if you want to move it forward to something more, talk to HIM about it. These threads are full of people asking questions best asked of the party involved, not here.
If people would just talk to each other more these threads would be empty...... | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 11:13:11 AM | FWB is a great way to start getting to know someone. Once that comfort level is reached, then the possibility of a relationship may come to be. There are two ways really of knowing if that's happening, 1. just let the dynamic of the friendship lead you to a relationship or not, or 2. talk about it.
A FWB arrangement can be great if that's what you're looking for and what your partner is looking for. But again, at times it naturally escallades to something more fruitfull and significant... that's where you have either choices 1. or 2. | |
|
| |
| |
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 11:23:41 AM | Friends with benifits are never a bad thing as long as you are honest with your friend about your feeling. Once your feelings go past strickly enjoying each other time together and it no longer becomes physical. You need to step back and figure out what you really want.  | |
|
| |
| |
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 11:45:12 AM | Lol how about you ask him and not us? Communication is the key. Why ask a bunch of strangers when you can get the answer if you ask him?
Also, are you comfortable with the FWB or are YOU the one that wants more and your projecting your emotions to be his?
Yes, guys can do the FWB and be fine with it. However, some guys do fall for the girl ....but not always. | |
|
| Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Posted: 7/29/2009 11:48:22 AM | Your subject, and message don't match up at all, so I'll handle them independantly.
Are guys really happy w/a friends w/ benifits arrangement?
Some are. Some aren't. Some are both: happy with the arrangement with girl (A), but not girl (B).
I'm not sure that he is really happy with this arrangement any longer and wants more.
That's okay - the rest of us failed clairavoiance 101 too.
No sure how to go from here
Your options:
* Do nothing
* Hope one of you gains the ability to read minds
* Communicate your feelings with him
Which of the 3 do you think forms healthy relationships? | |
|
Home
login 
