| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:08:25 AM | Do you or your friends scare easily?
After shopping at the mall I inadvertently made my exit through another entrance than the one I entered. Unfortunaely I failed to remember where I parked my car, so I spent a considerable time walking back and forth looking for it.
In such an event you try to act normal without giving others the impression of another fool who can't find his vehicle.
I noticed a lady standing by her car, and placing bags in her vehicle, looking at me with a look of consternation in my exhausted delimma. Just then my failed memory started to work again, and I immediately knew where to find my vehicle.
In the course of my renewed memory I shouted a few remarks which probaly made me look even more suspicious, if not outright loony. But being happy in the moment I went to it's location not concerned with what others might be thinking at that moment.
To get to my vehicle I had to pass by this lady, just as I was about to come abreast to her position, she gave me one of those looks I've seen women have just before Jason from Friday the 13th snatches them.
She immediately reached inside her overly large purse, keeping her eyes on me like I was some kind of pretador. I got the distinct feeling her hand was now placed on something to make me forget again where I parked my car - so to disarm her, I immediately laughed. Well, this predicament was kind of funny too, so I could not help to laugh thinking I might get my balls blown off for forgetting where I parked my car.
I think I might have laughed to loud, my voice is kind of booming, so she jumped!
I kind of picked up my step then and turned away from her, so she could see I meant no harm.
Thankfully, she just kept her eyes on me as I walked past as passive as possible without giving her any reason to do something she might regret.
Since I'm the forgiving type, I will not call Al Sharpton about this event. I dunno, I think some woman are a little too freaked out and scared with strangers | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:13:40 AM | I have seen that reaction when I race to catch an elevator with certain women already in the machine. I just laugh, and don't press a button until they get off the elevator. Racism can be annoying, frightening, and laughable in one huge swoop. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:15:34 AM | For all you know, she was accosted the day before!
We are all sums of our previous experiences.
I have had moments in a parking lot that scared me, and it had more to do with my previous experineces...but I got that 'spidey tingle' and my body reacted to it. I would be a fool to ignore it. Yeah, maybe it was harmless, like your incident, but Im not taking the chance, and I will book it out of a situation where my spidey senses tingle. Dont take it personally, and remember what advice you would likely give your own daughter in the same situation. You would tell her if she felt unsafe to take precautions, right? | |
|
| |
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:17:26 AM | lol--that's a funny story, OP.
i don't scare too easily....i tend to lean more to the "too trusting" side, and am possibly the most curious person you'd meet; i generally assume the best about people, and in this circumstance, would have likely struck up a conversation--i'd want to be in on whatever it was that made you laugh like a lunatic..... | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:24:59 AM | Well Passionate Gent, if I see a guy/gal wandering seemingly aimlessly around the parking lot talking to themselves, I will probably give them a wide berth. I won't go for my gun or mace, because I don't have any.
Hazel Rose, your assumptions actually play both ways. I know African American women who I thought hated me because I am white. The truth probably is we each thought the other one is a b*tch and we wouldn't like each other no matter what race we were.
Not that racism isn't out there H.L. Gates' situation proves that. But it may not be the default reason behind all situations.
But hey, I'm white, what do I know? LOL | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:37:11 AM | | Meh, I live in downtown Toronto, there's enough crazies here so that I'm not paranoid. Unless you specifically act like you're about to attack me, I don't really care what you do. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:44:26 AM | OP: A very good gf of mine was mugged in a parking lot. So with that said, I don't scare easily, but I make every effort to know what's going on around me at ALL TIMES.
However, I'm a NYorker, and we are prone to be in tune with just about everything around us. lol
I'm going to assume the woman was not African American? lol Profiling, huh? | |
|
SPF30
|
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 9 | |
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:45:26 AM |
Since I'm the forgiving type, I will not call Al Sharpton about this event. I dunno, I think some woman are a little too freaked out and scared with strangers
There have been murders and rapes at neighborhood malls among other things. We have escorts at the mall , who will walk you to your car, if you don't want to go alone. For a while, people were staying away from the mall in my town, because of the horrific things that were happening, which made national news for several months. It's made all of us feel more vulnerable, please don't take it personally.
 | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:57:03 AM | Yes, I can understand any apprehension in parking lot malls, especially when there has been news of reprehensible behavior in some of them. I was just being silly about the Al Sharpton scenario, I would not call him for anything, even if someone paid me to do so.  | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:05:58 AM | You are a big guy. If a random tall man was walking aimlessly through the parking lot and then started walking towards me... I'd be alittle upset. In fact I would probably ask you why you were coming towards me. If you didn't answer you would get to meet Mr. Smith&Weston.
But, (shrugs) I've lived in bad areas/neighborhoods and actually needed a concealed weapons permit to keep myself safe. I'd rather be safe than sorry. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:09:59 AM | I have to admit that I get quite a bit more anxious than other people. Likely because of my size. I am a petite woman. Women in general are at risk of falling victim.
But most men do not even remember the feeling of what it is like to be only 5 feet tall, slight and physically vulnerable all the time. In a world of men that the average height is 5'9" (but several are over 6') not to mention broad builds or overweight, as a woman who is half that size; one has to be a bit paranoid of her surroundings to keep safe. Especially in the dark and in isolated areas like parking lots and elevators.
It is better to be looked at and laughed at by those who can't possibly understand your view and mean no harm; than be killed, maimed or violated by someone who does mean harm because you want to appear friendly to all strangers. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:52:29 AM | Once, for Halloween, I dressed as a man, Larry the Lounge Lizard. There were several children at the party, and they all gave me wide berth because they didn't know who I was. They thought I was some crazy man. But one mom said to her child--"No, that's not a man, that's a lady in a costume!" After that, all the kids trusted me. It was odd to me that the kids naturally were "afraid" of men.
So by THAT story, I'd say your being a MAN was the biggest indicator of danger to random people, and your color probably *was* secondary. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:02:17 AM | | I have to say that if I were in a parking lot of a mall and some guy started laughing as he walked past me, I would think that this guy is nuts and be a little cautious. I live in a city that can be quite dangerous and we (women) need to be aware of our surroundings to stay safe. I would also like to say that I am sorry for you having to feel it was because of the color of your skin. Why is it still like this in 2009 in this country? | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:40:46 AM | I was flipping channels yesterday and watched an episode of E investigates about a serial killer who was killing women he got to in the mall parking lot. It was upscale and he'd get them as they were getting into their car. One even had a child and he shot both of them in the head.
We've had a few rapes and more than a few robberies in mall parking lots in my city. When I worked at the mall we were instructed to walk out together, keys in hand. Most women are told that is a place to be careful.
So while it may have been your race, most of us are smart enough to know criminals come in every size, shape, color, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc. But we are taught to be careful in our surroundings...and the way you were acting probably made her more uncomfortable far more than the color of your skin.
I work with teenagers, and still seeing groups of them when I'm out alone, make me nervous. One on one kids are usually cool, but the pack mentality can make them do stupid stuff. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:07:43 PM | Getting scared of male strangers in places which aren't exactly busy with other people?
Abso-bloody-lutely
If you were 5ft 2 and obese with a smiley face, or 103 years old -- not so scary. As it is, I can totally see why she'd be scared. I would be too. So it was nothing, this time, but somewhere in the USA some woman was attacked.
Here are some statistics for you: from http://www.anndavis.org/violence_statistics.htm
1 out of every 2 women in Canada has been physically or sexually assaulted at least once (from the age of 16). This figure represents 51% of 10 million woman.
1 in 3 woman experience physical assault, from threats of assault to attacks causing serious injury.
And from http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html
According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, which includes crimes that were not reported to the police, 232,960 women in the U.S. were raped or sexually assaulted in 2006. That's more than 600 women every day.
I don't think many men understand the level of vulnerability and fear that a lot of women deal with on a daily basis. A lot of bad stuff happens, it's splashed all over the news and the women who were taking any kind of risk at all are spoken about as though the attack was their fault for not being sufficiently cautious. Maybe the woman had been attacked or known someone who was in very similar circumstances. It's not cool to laugh at her fear and there's no reason why you should be offended: she doesn't know you and you can't take it personally. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:14:43 PM | Yes you are scary , I find scary people for a living. and I dont scare easy. just typing to you makes me very afraid | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 2:14:40 PM | | After working construction for 14 years with the best bunch of foul mouthed, perverted , red necked jerks you ever met (Hi Guys), you are going to have to work at it to scare me. In fact you are going have to be pretty creative just to surprise me. | |
|
| Do you or your friends scare easily?
Posted: 7/29/2009 2:17:01 PM | Maybe more women should seek to carry protection, (sorry but a can of mace is not protection) A friend of mine detailed a company that sells shock-watches, that work just like a stun gun to disable an assailant. I mention this type of device, because no matter how much one argues about the benefits of carrying a gun, most simply will not carry one. I'd be a fool not to carry in my line of work. Those stats about women being assaulted should at least motivate some to make an effort.
Peggy, I'm sure those are hard working men who are honest and have a degree of civility, and have no intention on doing you harm. I doubt that they are the sort of men that most of the posters are referring to.
 | |
|
Home
login 
