| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/29/2009 12:59:55 PM | So, this is a long story, I will try my best to make it short.
I used to work with this guy that I found extremely attractive. We always talked at work, and every time he saw me, he smiled...even if he was just walking by. Even other people at work and friends started noticing that he would stare at me when I wasn't looking. This went on for several months. My manager even told me that he had asked for her opinion on me. By this point, I was incredibly crazy about him, we would spend our lunch hours chatting it up in the break room a lot. So one day, I decided to ask him out, I mean, it was killing me! All he did was smile and tell me that 'he wasn't that kind of guy'. Rejected, I just asked if we were cool as friends and walked away. I spent a lot of time wondering what he meant by 'not that kind of guy' gay? doesnt date? doesnt date coworkers? just plain not into me?
After that, things were a bit odd between us...for about a month, then it was back to him staring/me staring, both of us with big goofy grins on our faces when we talked, spending lunch together. I didn't queation it though, I just tried my hardest not to like him like that.
Then I quit my job. And I didn't see him for about to months...until yesterday. Same goofy grin on his face when he noticed me. I went over to him and we talked for about fifteen minutes before I had to leave. But as I walked away, I told him that it was nice seeing him, and he replied back for me to come by again (I was at my old work place). Then I told him that I probably wouldnt see him again ever (I'm moving an hour and a half away for college this fall and have no need to visit a crappy harware store). He hugged me and told me that I should still come back and see everyone.
All I can do is say WTF at the whole situation. I mean one minute I think hes just not into me, than he does things that really make me wonder. Am I just crazy? | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/29/2009 1:12:05 PM | | I dont think your crazy. I do think you are harboring feelings for him because he rejected you. We tend to want things that are unatainable. When a guy says they dont like us in that way, he becomes more attractive to us. These forums are full of examples of people reading too much into what he/she said, he/she did this so does it mean they like us......He already told you he "wasnt that type of guy" when you asked him out. Even if he had been shy, by you asking him out would have taken the pressure off of him(it would have showed him you liked him too) and he would have said yes. But he rejected you. I dont think there is any misinterpretations there. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/29/2009 1:12:50 PM | | I dont think your crazy. I do think you are harboring feelings for him because he rejected you. We tend to want things that are unatainable. When a guy says they dont like us in that way, he becomes more attractive to us. These forums are full of examples of people reading too much into what he/she said, he/she did this so does it mean they like us......He already told you he "wasnt that type of guy" when you asked him out. Even if he had been shy, by you asking him out would have taken the pressure off of him(it would have showed him you liked him too) and he would have said yes. But he rejected you. I dont think there is any misinterpretations there. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/29/2009 1:18:58 PM | Why didn't you ask him what he meant by 'not that kind of guy' at the time?
Now you've moved on, you're moving away, and you're not going to see the guy again so what difference does it make? | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/29/2009 1:28:12 PM | | I don't know, its kind of a pointless waste of thought at this point. But I guess the fact that I'm still so hung up on him is why I wonder. It actually took a lot guts to even bring it up to him. I usually don't have such problems approaching men...thats why I like him so much, he actually makes me giddy/nervouse/excited. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:48:43 PM | | Maybe he likes you but is in a relationship? There is something holding him back. I think a BAMF, would just ask the question. "Why didn't you accept my date?" | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:07:35 PM | | Well, I thought before that it was because we were co workers. He is a manager...just wasn't mine. But now that I don't work there anymore, I wonder if I should give him a call. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:07:00 PM | Well, he obviously adores you. So, he's about your age, probably, right? It can be hard to say "I'm gay" out loud when you haven't had a lot of practice yet... for some it's always hard. "I'm not that kind of guy" was probably easier. It'd otherwise be such an odd way to say "no," I think that's almost certainly what he meant.
So I think what you have here is a very nice guy with a big old girl-crush on you! Which can be wonderful, but it does smart when they don't want to date you. Been there! Got over the ouchy part, though, and we were friends for many years.
Mine was worse, too, in a way; I didn't ask him out, just went ahead and planted one on him. Upon which, he shuffled his feet (literally!), blushed, and mumbled, "Look, I think you're great, but..." and finally the penny dropped. I was mortified, of course, but it worked out fine. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:21:50 PM | | I hardly think he's gay...but then again you never know about a person. It's just so frustrating. He's a completely different type of person than I am in the way his mind works. And of course, hes like majorly good looking (to me) and very intelligent. And who doesn't like someone who occasionally talks to them in spanish...even if you have no idea what he's saying. Another avenue I haven't really thought about was that he obviously knows I like him, and now, as friends, he thinks its funny to watch me come totally undone. Very possible since he has quite the sense of humor. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:26:40 PM | A normal, emotionally healthy man will want to be around a woman he likes who reciprocates his feelings...that push-pull behavior, or approach-avoidance syndrome is indicative that...he is one sick mofo
DUMP HIM SWEETIE!
We deserve to be around people who like us...once we make that realization, maybe we won't be in the forums | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:21:23 PM | | Perhaps, but he had his eyes glued to me every time I was around him or even across the room. I don't know what kind of nice guys stare lol. Anyhow, I wouldn't have noticed it but several coworkers pointed it out to me. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:37:40 PM | Maybe he simply found you to be nothing more than a curiosity.
It appears you have lots of body piercings, maybe he was just wondering what was up with all of that.
He's obviously not attracted to you or he would have taken you up on the date offer. It really doesn't matter WHY he's not attracted to you, whether its a gender preference thing or you are simply not his type for whatever reasons- excess weight, the piercings, your "badass" attitude.
You'll never know why, just accept it and move on, you're leaving the area anyway so it should be easy. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:47:06 PM |
shadowette on 7/30/2009 8  48 PM Subject: Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares... Message: Yes, because I act so incredibly badass...humor...anyone? anyone? I suppose you're right...it is wasted
Is there a question in there somewhere?
Your post is rather difficult to decipher. Its almost like you're saying that your bad ass attitude proclamation is nothing more than a joke, and you call out to "anyone" twice in a row as if to either say "does anyone get that the bad ass thing is just a joke" or you are looking for more advice. You've already received good advice on this thread especially by me, not sure what else is left that you're not getting.
And the last part of your sentence..."it is wasted". What is wasted? Who was right about it being wasted?
Besides the time it took me to respond to your last post...? | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:55:17 PM | | Well, you didn't do much research on me obviously. And I can't have visible piercings at work, so I didn't look different than your average girl. The weight thing...that could very well be true. But as for the BAMF thing...it IS a joke, by a comedian and it is written on my profile and one guy (who got the joke) commented on it, then another poster asked what it was, so I told her. Anyhow, the post served its purpose, I got some oustide insight on the situation. It's difficult to always take this advice from your friends because it could be that they're telling you what you want to hear, or they are actually being honest. And what is being wasted? Humor. | |
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| Maybe I'm crazy...but he still stares...
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:23:18 PM | Was either curiously fascinated or is in a relationship seems logical. I've been fascinated by a young waitress at work but was only interested early on, since there's more to it than being fascinated and indeed turned out she's not really my type of personality, or maybe might be in ten years but not yet. In any case I was fascinated the first few times we worked together and even fascinated by the fact that I was fascinated, and she seemed interested, but I didn't approach her, she got annoyed and started dating another coworker, who I think is more appropriate anyway even though she gave me the "you missed out" look a few times. Took about three more shifts together to get her into the idea I was actually sincerely happy about it and she should be too, either that or she forgot about our nothing because she is actually happy and that's even better. Or the whole thing is a delusion I invented but it's over now and I'm happy for that.
We're all crazy.
And that poster who's first thought was gay behaviour...are men you meet frequently "gay"? Just curious, I though it a rather odd leap. | |
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