| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:11:24 PM | | You know when I turned 30 I never would have predicted by 40 I would be single, not dating, and no prospects. So to all my fellow 40 year old and above did you expect to be single still? Do you feel like there is something amiss with the world or yourself? To all those between 30-40 do you think you ever be in a relationship again? If you are still single by the time you are 45 will you wonder what happened? | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:20:59 PM | Life is about choices.
The path you take is your own, the choices you made, made you single at 40.....
Everybody wants somebody in their life, but how much knowledge one has on how to attract, maintain, keep is a different story... It takes work, ups and downs, and work...
Giving up is not an option, shouldn't be an option.
Relying on POF only and placing a whole list of reasons suposidly of what we think, men think, etc on a profile probably won't get you far either.
Don't reach 45 and still be single get out there and mingle, find adventures, travel, join groups, forget your past and start living in your present. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:22:39 PM | I think expecting to be single or not single is the real issue.
Some times things don't always turn out as expected. However it's no reason to sell yourself or anyone else short. Don't settle for anything less than what you truly desire. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:23:03 PM | I think you missed POF rule... Never take yourself to seriously, people with think you have some sort of disease, and gravitate to the other side of the room, OR dating pool...
It took me a while to find a fish, and ya know sometimes a person has to make compromises...
So ya want a date with two legs, but heck you aren't getting younger, so perhaps the bearded one legged lady will start looking hotter more and more...
I didn't think I was going to end up single and have a 7 yr span of dating, and luck that bit...
I don't know if it is about luck, or if it is something wrong with the whole world any more, but I'd say people don't do well with to many options, it seems to confuse them, and put them in a state of not knowing what they want...
Keep fishing, can't catch a fish if your line and pole are in the garage...
Rock on, good profile.. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 7:58:13 PM |
So ya want a date with two legs, but heck you aren't getting younger, so perhaps the bearded one legged lady will start looking hotter more and more...
Not to make this a pity thread but, I can't even get the 1 legged bearded ladies to reply.
I think I made to many non-choices, which of course is a choice, that have led to my single status.
I intend to keep fishing, what is the alternative? I just didn't think I would be fishing this far along in life. Not talking about settling either but if I could give advice to my younger POF users is don't waste the time you have. You will be 40, 45 sooner than you think. Closer to the end than the start. (Boy am I in a good mood today,  ) | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:00:37 PM | Expect? Naww, not really.
Been engaged twice. The first one was terminally married to her widowed mother, and I wasn't willing to come in consistently second in a marriage (i.e., dates broken because her mother - whom she lived with, along with her grandmother - was feeling 'lonely') Went through counselling with that one, until she started ignoring the counselor and blowing me off for mom again any time her mother said boo.
I found the second with her genitalia wrapped around her boss, so that one didn't fly. C'est la vie.
I don't let it bend me - marriage is about a person, not a goal. I've given it two honest shots so far - why beat myself up over it? | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:25:19 PM | I expected to be HAPPY (and rich) by this point in life. It didn't revolve around having a romantic or sexual honey (I was and am content to just jerk off, if that is what is required). No, I think I need to be a part of a family, a team.
Happiness is all relative. I WAS happier 10 years ago. Why? I had a big family around me all the time. At that time, I couldn't wait to get away from them so I could be alone-! Now I've got my wish, and it's pretty goddamn boring and lonely. I liked it better being around a bunch of crazy people who occasionally annoyed me but I loved down to my core.
My brother died, my sisters have moved away, I see my parents once a week but they're getting older and we're not in the same generation and same way of thinking. I need to once again surround myself with at least one person who is roughly the same age as me.
We had big meals, gatherings, played a lot of golf and just had a blast! Weren't rich, but didn't care...were making ends meet, and had each other. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 8:30:37 PM | | Yes and no. I didn’t expect to still be single. On the other hand, my mom was widowed at 35. She is now 65 and yes, still single. Trying to start over has been a nightmare for her. I knew that if I found myself single, it would likely be the same. Sure enough, the last few years have been a nightmare. I’m basically accepting the fact that I will likely end up like my mom; single at 65.... | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:37:16 PM | I love the old quote (John Lennon I think?), something along the lines of, "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."
In my case, I got married then quickly divorced in my early 20s. I remember thinking very clearly that I wasn't worried, and figured by the time I was closing in on 40 I'd be married again and happy, raising a family. Of course, before I knew it 40 was staring me in the face. Then I met someone, and I did end up getting married while I was still 40, but found myself divorced and alone again at 44. So what the hell do I know? Well, I know one thing, from hard won experience; it isn't about expectations, its about finding a way to be happy regardless of your situation. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:07:30 PM | | I thought I would be single, but having more fun. I'm single and generally have a sucky social life for the most part the past few years. But most of that is my fault, so no use in making excuses. Just thought some things would have gone different ways. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:20:22 PM |
So to all my fellow 40 year old and above did you expect to be single still?
No. I just hoped. I was sure I would've gotten someone pregnant by now, and then HAD to marry them. I guess I just didn't try hard enough.
Do you feel like there is something amiss with the world or yourself?
Amiss with the world? Government.
Amiss with myself? Amiss with myself every night.
To all those between 30-40 do you think you ever be in a relationship again?
Yes.
If you are still single by the time you are 45 will you wonder what happened?
No. I will probably be more worried about my prostate health. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:27:57 PM | The beauty of life, you can plan all you want but nature will take its course. I pictured myself married by now but probably the best thing that happened is that nature prevented me from getting married by now. Being single has afforded me the freedom to put energy into developing things that are of most interest to me in a way I find some of my friends married with kids unable to do. My two younger sisters are all married with kids and sometimes I wonder if they are undergoing a crisis of sorts, like regretting having families too young coz they take it out on me and that pushes me further into postponing having a family. I am pretty much in charge of my life at this point with no major committments holding me back. Its a beautiful freedom I must confess!!
My motto is that if its not right I rather not have it at all. At 40 I hope to have met someone with whom my life fits, as for having kids as a woman I always have the option of a one night stand with a stranger for sperm donation hahaha!
Nice topic BTW>. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:46:50 PM | It's all in how you look at it, davdo. When I was 30, I thought I was going to marry the girl I was with at the time, and I would have if things had gone a bit differently. By the grace of God, I didn't, and I avoided getting further into a relationship that would have been headed for disaster. And when I was much younger I thought I'd be married by now.
I haven't ever gotten married, but on the flip side, I've avoided a lot of the extreme drama that I've seen so many of my family and friends go through. So I'd say I'm pretty lucky. I only know four couples in my inner circle who've stayed married for a long time. Two of those couples have been miserable for years and treat each other like strangers. Everything happens for a reason. Even though it sounds corny as hell, you don't always get what you wish for, but you always get exactly what you need.
Besides, I've actually seen a woman with a beard. Yes, a full beard, not just a few hairs on her chin. She was ugly as hell. You're not missing out on anything. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:52:17 PM |
If you are still single by the time you are 45 will you wonder what happened?
Doubt it. I don't put expectations like this out there - I don't have any control over women. They can come and go as they please. If I'm lucky enough to find one that will put up with me for the rest of my life... that's just a bonus. I don't have any expectations beyond that, because I don't expect a woman to make the choices I want her to make. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 12:31:43 AM | As to whether or not I thought I would still be single at 40 when i was in my 20s and 30s I had no idea one way or the other. Nor did I care one way or the other. My life has never been about having to get married in order for me to feel complete. the way I've always looked at it is if I happen to meet someone i want to spend the rest of my life with then fine.......
.......in the meantime I truly enjoy the freedom of being single and doing what I want when I want and how the hell I want to do it 
No complaints here | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:06:53 AM | Did I ever wonder whether I'd be single at 40..
My man? I didn't even think I'd live to see 40!
anyhow, I have no regrets about being single..I was married once learned my lesson and will never go back nor do I ever care to go back to married life..in fact? I couldn't care less if I stay this way for the rest of my life..
I'm just wired that way I guess
SIGN ME, NO PROSPECTS AND DO NOT EVEN CARE! | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:02:14 AM | It never dawned on me to wonder at any age what my dating life would be like. I was too busy making sure I was taking care of myself and enjoying my life.
I always figured that if someone came along that made sense to me, then I'd go with it - if not, that's cool too.
To me single isn't a negative thing, it's circumstantial - I don't place any self worth or purpose in life on it. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:28:10 AM | | Being single in your 30s is okay. There is still hope for you. You still have some of your youth to cling to. It is still possible to find a good, suitable match. If you are 40 and above, you are pretty much screwed, unless you are a dude with a lot of money or a really hot milfy chick. | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:35:37 AM | Wow....there are a lot of questions in this little post. Here we goooooo.....
1. No, I didn't expect to be single by the time I was 40. Well, maybe I did....who am I kidding.
2. I felt there was something amiss in my world and with myself when I was married. I am continuing to grow as a human being. I am also returning to the happy go lucky gal I was before I got married. I don't necessarily think there is anything amiss with me, except for and occassional quirk which I think most call eccentric at my age.
3. I would love to be in a relationship again. I miss the companionship of coming home to someone you love. I have alot of different relationships in my life right now but would like to be in one where when I wake up in the middle of the night I know my guy is there beside me. Then I can wake him up to play when it is hot out.
4. Nope, I won't wonder what happened if I'm still single at 45. I will still be hoping in the power of love between two people. Damn romantic in me.
All hope is not lost just because your in your 40's.....pffffttts | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:38:45 PM |
Being single in your 30s is okay. There is still hope for you. You still have some of your youth to cling to. It is still possible to find a good, suitable match. If you are 40 and above, you are pretty much screwed, unless you are a dude with a lot of money or a really hot milfy chick.
OH HUNI, you have so been misinformed... The 40's are freaking AWESOME... I would never go back to my 20's, or early 30's... Got into my 40's and something about life and not having to keep up with anyone but me hit...
OK, I have a SO, but I had single time in my 40's and it has been great.
There are things you don't have to worry about it you got that child bearing rearing thing pretty much out of the way...
Alright it is true I had to start over in college again, cause a work injury took me out of my last career, but it is all good...
There is life's experience to know what you want and don't want... there is the point that you can really enjoy WHO you have become, and know that you survived some really tough shit...
40's to me is an awesome place... Pfffttttt have a lot of money and a hot MILFY... If money is all that marks a man as worth while, then I guess you are pretty screwed... However from my experience money isn't the end all of a happy life...
Pfffftttt hot chick, another if that is the only thing that makes you hope, yep guess you are screwed...
Some of us age like a very fine wine... | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:03:12 PM | If you are 40 and above, you are pretty much screwed, unless you are a dude with a lot of money or a really hot milfy chick.
If this is the way that you think, well then you are screwed. But let me tell you something. When I was single and in college it took me a while, but eventually I became rather good with the ladies. But then I got married, because a pathetically nice guy, then got divorce after a long time, went in search of my cojones, found them, put them on. And wham!! What happened? What happened was that being older is much, much better. You can attract a woman half your age, you can attract a woman your own age, and you can attract those slightly older women that keep themselves in great shape and are hotter than sh it and want a younger guy.
So your spectrum opens tremendously and you discover an old South American saying that goes "mas sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo" which translates into More knows the devil because he's old, than because he is the devil.
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:53:44 PM | | i appreciate being on my own...i have not med the right person...i have been with some wonderful people...and i have enjoyed myself...not everybody who is in a relationship is happy...i appreciate my life...what will happen will happen...i have a great family, friends and good health...life is too short to be worried what will happen... | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:23:51 PM | | not to make any woman mad , but really if a man can get his shit right then how come women cant get there head out of there ass. they say they want but are still uunsure .so you tell me . i have a job i have my own car, an i own my own house , so i tell you this get ur head out of ur ass before it to late then what life really about if ur 70 year old an to old to do anyhting , money does not bring happness an having great things dont eather , it all about the heart an what the heart wants . | |
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| Did you expect to be single this late in life?
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:39:54 PM | | No I didnt but,I am not into the game playing and will NOT be with someone when we agree on how its going to be.And goes back on their word.Espeicaully when it dis-respects me.You give someone your word and break it.KARMAS gonna bite that ass. | |
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