| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:03:50 PM | But not a guy? I attempt to contact girls that are a few extra pounds, a little bigger than the norm, like myself. Yet they refuse to respond to me. I actually had a woman last night say she preferred men who were "more muscler".
What's with the double standard? Yes, women are supposed to be soft and supple and all that jazz, but why do they think they can hold their bar so high (when I've seen them on the dating site for at least as long as I've been on there), and ignore men who are in the same "size" category as them.
Just looking for some insight. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:08:15 PM | A double standard does exist but not as you have stated.
It is quite alright for men to be overweight yet society views it has absolutely disgusting if a woman is overweight. As a plus size woman myself I think your assumptions are a little off. I think women are far more open minded when it comes to male body types and it is men who are very rigid and are not attracted to anything bigger than a size 2. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:10:10 PM | If they're not responding to you, how do you know it's because you're a few pounds overweight?? I think you're projecting that it is.
To the ones that do tell you they're looking for someone with a different body style than yours, don't sweat it... move on to the next profile.
But please stop whining about being rejected for reasons you're making up in your head. Until they actually tell you that's the reason, you're kicking your own butt. Once they tell you, then move on.
Bluezzz | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:12:43 PM | | It's down to personal preference I assume. Don't be disheartened if someone judges you by the way you've decribed your build from a short lsit of options, they're probably not a right match anyway. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:16:31 PM | Some people like extra padding and some don't. I think that being a plus size woman is a plus for me. I know that there are men out there that will love me for who I am. As a plus size man, the same goes for you. There are woman out there that like an extra padded man. Be patient and don't judge all of us woman because some women didn't respond to you. It might be that your profile is not what they are into, and probobly has NOTHING to do with that you are a BBM. Take care and happy fishing.
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:18:34 PM |
As a plus size woman myself I think your assumptions are a little off
Ok -- you need better pics for me to determine if you're plus size or not. 
I couldn't tell from your profile.
OT: While I agree to some point that society tollorates men with extra weight, and trys to get women to be stick thin -- having been with a woman who starved herself down to a size 6 -- I've got to say that I'd much rather have the +size woman who has fun and enjoys life over the stick thin woman who is miserable.
That said -- there is +size and then really really big women -- and if you can't walk around the block, then it's too much and we do need to step away from the triple cheeseburger and diet coke.
MG | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:19:48 PM | Just because someone is overweight doesn't mean that they are only attracted to bigger guys, some very slim women prefer big guys and some slim guys prefer big women, it's all about personal preference.
Why would you think that having size in common should make them interested? i don't fancy every thin guy that messages me. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:22:42 PM | Just a response to this post from The Brunette Bombshell I agree with the other guy, you're far from bbw to the best of my vision.
But I also think the stereotype runs both ways, men are expected to be buff burly guys, while women can be soft and cuddly.
Oh, and after reading your profile, I'm sure more of your faves would message you if you turned off the 75 mile thing. lol | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:25:53 PM | Apparently you missed all the threads regarding BBW's and how they can't get
dates and why no one loves them.
There are at least 3 of them out there that I know of.
I would say (if anything) at least in the pond here...it's more acceptable for
the man to be overweight than it is the woman.
But then...all threads and posts are based on our personal experiences. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:38:30 PM | | Everybody has standards. It is wrong of anyone to judge, but assuming they aren't responding because of your weight is judging them and assuming they judge you. Women now a days do feel more pressure then men because of how society is, but of course men feel pressure to. Just be yourself and remember, boys and girls, if someone judges you, they are angry at themselves. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:55:58 PM | What double standard? Big, tall, small, short, extra pounds or underweight----either you like it or not, we are every where.
You could throw a round house kick at me and it would be 2 feet over my head. Do I care that people don't want to date people my height (4'11")? Absolutely not. So, there you have it. The person that dates you is obviously not the person who applies the "double standard" so to each his own.
People like what they like. This is called having preferences. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 1:59:11 PM | Not sure what men you've been talking to, but as far as I know men who are in good shape like the same...and men who aren't don't. Granted there are the men who are out of shape but require women to be extremely athletic - which I assume doesn't work out very well, but most are attracted to someone who they can identify with.
It tends to be a projection of lifestyle. I live a healthy lifestyle so I tend to be drawn to those who do the same.
If anything, I'd have thought men are stricter about this than women. I do think that it may have nothing to do with weight, as some posters suggested above. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:01:53 PM | I'd suggest a profile review (in the forum two doors up). Your headline makes you sound kinda bland even though you have some humorous things to say.
This last bit comes across a little desperate and needy.
I want to get out and see, do, and be. And I want someone to be there with me. And I'd really like someone to actually take the time to know who I am before they judge the book by the cover.
Might wanna change that up a little so it don't sound like you need your hand held to walk outside.  | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:07:22 PM | | Hmm, i consider myself to be average, little overweight but not so much that its obvious, its only once the clothing comes off that the extra weight is visable. That being said i always prefer larger women. During my teens id always get thin skinny girls like me and theres nothing more unattractive than ribs stabbing you during a cuddle. Makes you wanna force feed them lard while they sleep >_>. So its really a condition of prospect, Really attractive girls love chubby guys as they carry a stereotype of loveing and unvain about with the image. Ive been told alot that being overweight is a turn on as the size can make them feel protected and safe, which i find funny as they dont feel this with muscular men. Also bear in mind.. if you find someone right, your appearance wont be an issue as attraction to a personality cancels out any physical flaws in the persons eyes. Just keep trying (end of motivational rant) | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:07:30 PM | I think you're cute. If I were only 20 years younger! Are you certain the no response is related to weight? What kinds of things do you write in the first email? I say this because I only respond to someone who actually read my profile, ie referencing something, ANYTHING. Example: Say she likes dogs. Do you ask her what kind of dog, where she walks her dog, what got her interested in dogs. Women love talking about THEIR interests. Of course, she should do the same for you. In fact, I may feel obliged to respond just because his email was thoughtful which means I need to read yours and get to know a bit about you to respond.
Don't get discouraged and think ALL women want muscular guys. Not true! I like men who enjoy my cooking and want more. You've got a lot of great qualities. Play them up! | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:19:11 PM |
A double standard does exist but not as you have stated.
It is quite alright for men to be overweight yet society views it has absolutely disgusting if a woman is overweight. As a plus size woman myself I think your assumptions are a little off. I think women are far more open minded when it comes to male body types and it is men who are very rigid and are not attracted to anything bigger than a size 2.
Have to disagree there, as I see far more bigger women with men than you ever see bigger men with women. Simply put, women can find a man quite easily, but men must meet certain standards and stereotypes for women to have any interest. Although it does tend to be that women require more than just looks, they also have a large list of financial obligations a man must also meet.
I don't think someone as attractive as TBB has much room to speak on the difficulty of larger men dating. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:44:15 PM | I'm gonna fall in with those that disagree with you because as far as I can tell, it's more widely accepted for a bigger guy to be with a smaller woman. You can see it all over tv, particularly the comedies.
That being said, it all comes down to the individual. Some bigger guys don't like bigger girls (I know from personal experience). It can be kinda frustrating, but it is what it is. Personally, I've been attracted to a variety of body types, but I tend to prefer the teddy bear type overall. Other people want different things. | |
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| Why is it ok for a girl to be a few extra pounds?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:27:36 PM | | Here's the insight. To make this site work for you, ignore the people you've discovered to be delusional and focus on the rest. The reward for delusion is eternity on pof, so don't join them. | |
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