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 CarCrazedWolfie
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 1
Would u date a guy without a job?Page 1 of 1    
Ok here is my situation
i haven't worked for more than a year in the past 10 years... why u ask?
i have a job i just get no money for it :P
i take care of a disabled vietnam veteran father and a mother who isn't always in the best of health
i get told all the time that what i'm doing is great but women never give me the time of the day and most that i've bothered to ask have told me it's b/c i have no job or income... so would u would u not date a guy in a situation similar to this?
why? why not? discuss
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 2
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Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:15:44 PM
No
Because a man with no job has very limited possibilities as far as a future goes.
 lynetteinAZ
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 3
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:18:44 PM
I would only date a guy without a job who had some other means of income (inheritance, stocks, independently wealthy). And if he doesn't have a job, he better have some pretty serious hobbies and ways to spend his time other than sitting on the couch! Afterall, I have an education, a career, and hobbies, so why not expect the same from my partner?
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 4
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:38:16 PM
Can I ask you how you would actually ''date'' a woman.

Where would you take her?

When holidays or birthdays come how would you buy her giftss?

How would you fill up the gas tank or take a taxi to meet her?

Even a cheap date still requires some amount of income coming in. And if you're so tied down to y our parents that you can't work, then how would you make the time to go out with a woman...or spend the night with her when the time came?
 SoftAndHappy
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 5
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:39:10 PM
Nope. I am a career-oriented woman. I want a career-oriented man.

Even if he was rich... nope. Work is such a massive part of your life that this is something that I want to have in common with my SO.
 girlygirl555
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 6
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Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:52:56 PM
Finally someone asked the obvious question.....I have seen hundreds of posts on the same subject of dating with no job...no money...no car....and bellydanza nailed it!!! I've never figured out how someone in that position feels they are a prospective "suitor" or feels that women are "gold diggers" because they won't date someone in that position!!! What exactly do they have planned as far as a date?? If they don't have a car how are they going to get to the date??? Doesn't sound like a whole lotta fun!!!!
 nutty322
Joined: 2/6/2007
Msg: 7
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Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:03:20 PM
My opinion is that the only issue i would really have is if the guy is actually just living off me - seen this happen to a friend before - where the guy basically lived off her wages, the money for the child support of 'his' child was coming out of her bank account aswell etc etc, and then it all ended. she was then well and truely out of pocket - when she wasnt particularly earning that well herself - workin in tescos all hours!!
dating wise, im not too bothered about the whole no job thing - means you get to see each other more :) and im also quite a modern woman - dont really like being paid for all that much - and certainly would never expect it!! i earn my own money so can spend my own money - but dont want to spend it on the upkeep of a guy for god knows how long - in the simple event that it doesnt work out!! I've studied law, and it is very difficult for co-habiting couples to claim back on anything spent during your time together.
 Archer82
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 8
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Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:03:33 PM
Mostly anyone looking for a serious partner is not going to consider someone who has no income. Especially women. Money makes the world go round. It's how you have a place to live, and food to eat, and clothes to wear, as well as gives you access to all manner of entertainments. Look, it's admirable that you care for your parents, but the reality is that you are obviously still supported by them...and a grown man being supported by his parents is not attractive. How fast would it kill the mood to bring a woman home with you and her to realize your parents are there?? That is like dating a teenager...grown women don't want to date teenagers :-(
 Bellydanza
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 9
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:04:00 PM
I agree girlygirl. I would honestly like to know how these men DEFINE DATING and just how they would go about it.

I am not saying he's a bad person...what he is doing is important and shows his caring side....however....it is going to hinder dating in the sense most people define it.
 kebemik
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 10
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Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:12:11 PM
I have a lot to offer. I expect a partner who has a lot to offer in return. I don't think a job is what defines a man (or woman), but I do think it offers some insight into who he is. How you choose to spend your time, whether working or playing, tells something about who you are. You make choices for a reason. Those reasons could include laziness, ambition, compassion, greed, curiosity, creativity, and many more.
 CarCrazedWolfie
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 11
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:20:04 PM
dating to me is spending time with someone you care about
you seem to define it as going out i don't
i've always enjoyed doing things that cost little to nothing
i do have a bit of income but it is very little and limited depending on how my family is
just wanted to see how many people think doing the right thing is good
obviously most are more bent on the material than not
thanks for all the replys
 AlwaysExpectMiracles
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 12
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Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:26:44 PM
No.
Although it is noble to take care of those in need, take care of yourself first and get a job that pays.

You could say we're "bent on material" but let's face it - no money equals low opportunities. That inclused taking care of your own health and well-being, not just going out and eating at restaurants.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 13
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:28:39 PM
OP: How do you pay for whatever expenses that you have?

I would not date a man that had no job/income (unless there were some other source of income coming in). What you're doing is commendable, but you could always get home visiting nurse care for the two elders.

Why would't I? Because I want my partner to be equally driven and be able to afford himself a better life.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 14
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:32:28 PM
OP: dating to me is spending time with someone you care about
you seem to define it as going out i don't
i've always enjoyed doing things that cost little to nothing
i do have a bit of income but it is very little and limited depending on how my family is
just wanted to see how many people think doing the right thing is good
obviously most are more bent on the material than not
thanks for all the replys



Sure we want to spend time with the person we care for and love. However, what about taking vacations as a couple, and enjoy all the wonderful pleasures of life? There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to enjoy them. Doesn't make one superficial or materialistic.

You may have to find/meet someone who thinks in your mindset. Good luck!
 Sun_Devil_92
Joined: 11/16/2008
Msg: 15
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:45:51 PM

You may have to find/meet someone who thinks in your mindset. Good luck!


I think that could be said for all of us.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 16
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Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 4:54:50 PM
OP - I commend you for taking care of your parents. Kuddos to you. Unfortunately, you wouldn't be the best of dating/mating material because you probably are limited with funds and perhaps even time. No one wants to feel like they are picking up the tab 100% of the time. The longer you are out of the work force, the tougher it will be for you to get a job.
 rockhound45
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 17
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:05:21 PM
I feel for the OP. I mean here he is taking care of his parents in their later years, who took care of HIM when he was young. Then he feels like he would like to find someone (partner, etc.) and everyone "dumps" on him! In the "Olde Days", the newlyweds would come home to their house built on one of the parents land and live there. How things have changed! Now one has to have an "empire" to find love. Must be what is wrong with this country!


Mostly anyone looking for a serious partner is not going to consider someone who has no income. ......... .and a grown man being supported by his parents is not attractive.


"But were not being materialistic when we (the female posters) state this!!" Oh, no, not at all! Never would have thought that!! C'mon, this guy knows how to "do the chores" not "sit around watching ESPN" and you DON'T like it? Amazing! Us guys can't win for trying! I'm in a similar boat. I'm living at home after being laid-off while I work on my degree in Computer Science, and as I would like to have a part-time job right now the economy just sucks too much for a part-time position. But I can't find anyone either! I get "email dumped" (women stop replying without notice) after stating my situation. Now everyone is going to say that my situation is "different". Others state that I should "wait until I finish my degree" before finding love, but I say "wow, I see a lot of couples at college, doesn't seem to bother THOSE women too much!". So what is it? Materialism or not?
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 18
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:27:36 PM
RockHound: In the "Olde Days", the newlyweds would come home to their house built on one of the parents land and live there. How things have changed! Now one has to have an "empire" to find love. Must be what is wrong with this country!


Yup, in the good ole days (and to this day some cultures still have this practice) they did live with family/on property, etc...and they also had jobs! You're talking apples and oranges.


"But were not being materialistic when we (the female posters) state this!!" Oh, no, not at all! Never would have thought that!! C'mon, this guy knows how to "do the chores" not "sit around watching ESPN" and you DON'T like it? Amazing! Us guys can't win for trying! I'm in a similar boat. I'm living at home after being laid-off while I work on my degree in Computer Science, and as I would like to have a part-time job right now the economy just sucks too much for a part-time position. But I can't find anyone either! I get "email dumped" (women stop replying without notice) after stating my situation. Now everyone is going to say that my situation is "different". Others state that I should "wait until I finish my degree" before finding love, but I say "wow, I see a lot of couples at college, doesn't seem to bother THOSE women too much!". So what is it? Materialism or not?


I can speak for myself, not the entire female population, that I am not materialistic. However, if I want to take a vacation, treat myself, etc.... I can - I too went to college full-time AND worked a full-time job. When there is a will there is a way! So don't come on here whining about us women being "materialistic" because we want to enjoy some pleasurable things in life/be comfortable.
 roseyn
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 19
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:37:00 PM

No
Because a man with no job has very limited possibilities as far as a future goes.


I couldn't have said it better
 brad29483
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 20
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 6:58:06 PM
dude, just play the lotto and say you are an "investment banker" until you win, they economy blows right now, nobody will know the difference.
 brad29483
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 21
Would u date a guy without a job?
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:01:00 PM

No
Because a man with no job has very limited possibilities as far as a future goes.


I have a basement full of guns. I don't think the future your thinking is the same one I am thinking.
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