| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:29:14 AM | | I am new to this thing and it seems like all the men I would be interested in are not responding to my responses or when they do they say they live to far away. In my eyes it is just a kind way to say I'm not interested. I am shy and it takes alot for me to make the first move as far as writing so, I am feeling a little disappointed. Is it that on these sites you need to be in perfect shape or drop dead gorgeous to get any decent responses? | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:32:20 AM | In real life, you may be the only attractive woman in a room. But in the interwebs, you definitely are NOT. That applies to all of us.
If your potential match sees a better looking woman (a click away), he'll probably go for it and forget all about you. Makes sense ?
Hope so! Because that's what internet dating is. Lotsa options... | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:33:39 AM | | Why is it always the default position of women who start these kinds of threads on AAGuy, that if guys aren't responding to you it must be because they only want "barbies"!? Why can't it just be that they are not attracted to you? Or do you honestly believe there is no grey area between you and barbie-types? If NO guys are responding, perhaps you should reconsider who you are emailing. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:36:27 AM | Its something to get used to. For guys the response rate is around 1 in 10. Would you rather spend time getting to know someone only to have them tell you there not interested after investing a fair amount of time?
Keep trying and you will catch a good fish soon enough. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:38:15 AM | | Sorry guys, I just had to ask. I see alot looking at my profile and none responding. I never considered myself unattractive but I just got a little confused. I have never been on a dating site before and did not know what to expect. Thanks for the honest responses. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:39:39 AM |
I am new to this thing and it seems like all the men I would be interested in are not responding to my responses or when they do they say they live to far away.
It's called fishing because you never know what's down there, and it takes a lot patience. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:47:50 AM | Online and in the "real" world, lots of people are focused only on the superficial qualities.
Good looks are great -- don't get me wrong.
But a woman who's got some world experience, is well-read and traveled, is comfortable in her own skin and can make me laugh? Wow. Now *that*s attractive! | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 11:59:55 AM | I totally agree with jackal123's comments!
OP, you mentioned you were shy...if that is true, I think you should be commended for "putting yourself out there" by placing a profile/photo and taking a step to contact men you are interested in.
But on the other hand, it's no one's issue that you happen to be shy and that so far you aren't getting the type or # of responses that you feel you deserve...that's what life is all about...chance. This website is just one of many...why not join more than one, why not make sure you put yourself out there in situations that are off-site!?! While it may increase your chances, even then you still might not find a potential SO right away...but you won't know if you don't try.
Not everyone is going to find you attractive and or compatible with them....even if you think you are compatible...things have to be mutual!
And sometimes, one can't even explain why or how they are or aren't attracted to someone...
I would just be careful, since many guys do in fact read/participate in the threads...in my opinion when someone kind of complains/asks why do guys like or dislike (fill in the blank), it makes the person look jaded and it let's everyone know no one has been interested in you so far...
**Also, if you're not in a relationship with someone and all you've done is contact them to see if they are interested and they decide to pass (whether they reply to your email with some form of no thank you, or they read/delete) it really doesn't matter WHY they aren't interested in you...the point is they AREN'T! I would just brush it off and move on to the next potential person...it's the adult thing to do.
Good luck! | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:00:06 PM |
Why is it always the default position of women who start these kinds of threads on AAGuy, that if guys aren't responding to you it must be because they only want "barbies"!?
Because some women have the unfortunate combo of:
* Being black & white thinkers
* Lack of self-confidence
* Feel the need to blame others
If it's wrong to hate on people with disabilities because "they can't help it", why's it not wrong to hate on beautiful people simply because they were born that way? Always appreciated the irony...
Anyway - not all of us hit the beauty lottery in life - but we all have the opportunity to make the most of our lives. You have certain controls over your own physical beauty (working out, fashion, makeup etc) - it's your choice to exercise that option or not. But, don't get angry at the world because we're genetically pre-disposed to want to hump pretty things. A positive attitude, and a well written profile will go a long way too. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:02:27 PM | I personally dont mind a true "few extra pounds" (not the POF kind) ....That is why many people pass on a lot of profiles....too much work for people hiding their true weight...That's why I have pretty much giving on the online experience, I want to see somebody first | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:03:50 PM | It seems to work out well when people find partners who share the same type of lifestyle. If you do not engage in regular physical activities, then you probably won't pair well with a guy who spends his free time doing physically demanding things. You don't need to be in great shape unless that is what you are hoping for in your partner. Otherwise, what are you bringing to the table instead?
You need to become comfortable in making the first move. Do it more often. It can be a catastrophe to wait until the perfect person comes along, and then be ignored by that person. A profile can only tell you so much about how reliable and interested a stranger will be. Send regular, meaningful messages to new people you find interesting, and begin the process of weeding out the flakes.
Drop dead gorgeous or not, you need to put your best foot forward. Have you requested a profile review?
Good luck! | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:06:31 PM | | I am not jaded and it is not a direct jab at men. I only asked a question because I have never been on a dating site before as I said. I just wanted an honest opinion. I was curious if a plain looking woman like myself would have any other expectations from trying something like this. I am sorry if any of you have taken it the wrong way. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:12:20 PM |
I only asked a question because I have never been on a dating site before
Hun, First I want you to know that I am the best looking man on this site -- so good looking in fact that I had to take my picture down to slow the thousands of emails in my inbox.
Now that statment could be fact or fiction -- but I don't start from the position that I am just plain and ordinary -- I start from a confident position -- I'm good looking, intelligent etc.
My advice -- get a profile review -- get new pictures, and ratchet up the self image a little bit -- if you are going to stand out and be noticed, you can't be just plain jane.
Best of luck
MG | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:41:06 PM |
I am new to this thing and it seems like all the men I would be interested in are not responding to my responses or when they do they say they live to far away. In my eyes it is just a kind way to say I'm not interested. I am shy and it takes alot for me to make the first move as far as writing so, I am feeling a little disappointed. Is it that on these sites you need to be in perfect shape or drop dead gorgeous to get any decent responses?
Honestly, I for one do not want a long-term relationship with a woman who has had her kids but who has decided a priori that she doesn't want any with anybody else, if she even has the capacity to do it, thus relegating any man who makes contact to second-class status.
You might be fine for dating or intimate encounter, but you specifically disallow that, perhaps believing that you can command the obeisance that you could and did two decades ago and believe that it's plausible that you won't break up with a man again as with the father of your children.
If in your mind that means that I only want Barbie dolls, so be it. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:54:59 PM | | Personally i wont not reply to someone over looks.. but if they are a barbie doll or trophy personality wise il stear clear :) Anyone with an IQ 40 or more less than mine i wont go near, dont want to hear about your stupid makeup and i dont care if you think that band members hot.. your intelligence is equal to a sausage and therefore your not attractive. Anyway moving from the point.. No we dont all want trophies or barbies.. Your messaging the wrong people. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:58:44 PM | Barbie turned 50 this year and I think Ken was really happy with the way she's held up over the years. Barbie, of course, didn't care, since Ken is gay. But she was happy all those skipped meals, about 5,475 of them by estimation, had paid off, especially since GI Joe was having such a big year.
For my blood, Barbie's politics are way off in la-la land and she's always been kind of a stiff, but you know, I don't complain when she walks by ... as long as she keeps walking, that is. | |
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| Do all of you want a trophy or a Barbie doll?
Posted: 7/31/2009 1:10:14 PM | | A trophy or Barbie Doll usually spells trouble, if not at the beginning it will at the end. And it will end, because there's always one guy who will eventually outbid you. I learned this at a much younger age, never again! | |
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