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 RitzNB
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 1
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spousePage 1 of 1    
Let's be honest. I think most people fantasize about someone else at one time or another when being intimate with their spouse. To me this isn't sick or twisted but a natural behavior. I did say once in a while. If you have to think of every lady you'll slept with or seen that day in order to get off then that could be a problem. I'd advise you men to not share that little bit of information with your spouse though. Us ladies like to think we are the one who got you going. lol
 RitzNB
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 2
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/6/2005 3:06:58 PM
^^^^^^^
@ gil wayne
I've thought of many things when having an ex do me. The clothes in the dryer, my appointment for the next day ... lol Just kidding. I confess. I've thought of sexual fantasies while he was doing me. Let's just say he didn't have to ask when I came nor did the entire neighborhood. he! he! I think toning it down a bit might have been a bit better. I think even a deaf man might have heard for the first time. Lord knows what he must have been thinking.
 RitzNB
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 3
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/6/2005 3:09:26 PM
I remember a funny incident with an ex. He came really hard. As a joke I asked him who he was thinking of. He said Marilyn Monroe. He didn't hesitate before saying her name so I'm sure Mariylyn must have been shaking her boobies. If he would said Bratt Pitt then I might not have laughed. Yikes !!! Unless I was the one doing Brad Pitt in his fantasy. he! he!
 Frrosty
Joined: 3/21/2004
Msg: 4
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/6/2005 6:41:34 PM
I just...simply..can't.

I am just too focused on who I am with and what we are doing to have any kind of thoughts about someone else. (I really mean this too)

I see it as like eating a beautiful NewYork steak dinner and dreaming about smoked salmon...know what I mean?

Truly enjoy what you HAVE!
 full90
Joined: 6/28/2005
Msg: 5
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/6/2005 6:43:39 PM
frrosty...

yeah, that little trick has never worked for me either. Its like a mental impossibility, I dunno.

Honest question though... if you feel the need to do that.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Maybe I just am perplexed because I'm young, never been married, etc etc
 bambi75
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 6
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/6/2005 6:50:42 PM
I never fantasized about someone else when i was being intimate with my ex hubby ...but....

I would fantasize about someone else and then be with my hubby
or
I would fantasize about him being with someone else and allowing me to watch!
 RitzNB
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 7
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/6/2005 7:30:57 PM
I just...simply..can't.

I am just too focused on who I am with and what we are doing to have any kind of thoughts about someone else. (I really mean this too)

I see it as like eating a beautiful NewYork steak dinner and dreaming about smoked salmon...know what I mean?

Truly enjoy what you HAVE!

@ ffrosty
^^^^^^
You never cease to amaze me. What a guy. You can be so sensitive at times but in a good way.
 Sparx1_1
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 8
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/7/2005 12:17:50 AM
I've never been able to ... I guess it's just not my style.

But, have I tried? Of course... I have not yet come across anybody who has never even bothered to try.

I think it's completely normal to do that (occasionally) and something a most people do with varying degrees of success.
 tiffi78
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 9
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/7/2005 12:19:40 AM
not unless its really bad

i'm usually focused on who i'm with
 JUSTINBOY88
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 10
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 7/7/2005 12:26:48 AM
ive got a very good imagination so its hard from time to time not to let my mind wander.
 get_over_it
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 11
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 8:45:51 AM
thats pretty normal. Its about as close as I'd ever get to cheating. Otherwise it gets boring being with one person. It helps spice things up to pretend, but I'd never tell her I was doing it. I just close my eyes and imagine Selma Hayek is there (for example) lol
 louispointe
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 12
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History
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 9:43:04 AM
Once I dated a girl, and the only way I could orgasm was to think about other people having sex with her !

I used to think about her ex's having sex with her, for example.

Finally I ended up watching her have sex with my best friend, right before my eyes ... NOT a fantasy. It was incredibly erotic, but it took me a while to recover from that. I'm not sure I would recommend it.
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 13
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:15:22 AM
Its not a fantasy anymore when you come and walk in on your ex and the postman I knew there was something up when we started getting mail delivered on Sundays.

Do all the women miss out when they have postboxes. Is this joke getting dated like the milkmen jokes? I guess the DSL CableGuy is the trend these days
 DeagleNINja
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 14
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:28:54 AM
I've only been intimate with one person's spouce and no, I wasn't thinking of anyone else at the time.

Er, make that two, sorry.
 Real_Brunette
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 15
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History
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 10:49:24 AM
I admit it..I have thought about angelina jolie a time or two w/the ex
 webwanderer
Joined: 7/9/2004
Msg: 16
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:01:42 AM
I often think about my partner (when I have one) being with another woman while I am having sex with her. I would love to watch so the extra mental stimulation to add to the physical gives the whole thing a kinky kick.
 WorldCitizen
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 17
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:10:08 AM

Once I dated a girl, and the only way I could orgasm was to think about other people having sex with her !

I used to think about her ex's having sex with her, for example.

Finally I ended up watching her have sex with my best friend, right before my eyes ... NOT a fantasy. It was incredibly erotic, but it took me a while to recover from that. I'm not sure I would recommend it.

It happens.
There is a particular species of bird that can't even mate unless a third one is present...
Conversely some people would kill someone if they were watching...

We're very different from each other, folks.

Knowing these wide variations in other specy's sexuality as well as our own, it amazes me that some people think anyone who says they're homosexual is lying or mentally ill.
 SweetieGuy_81
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 18
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History
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:13:53 AM
I personally would think about the woman i am having sex with.

But i do remember a friend that has moved away a while ago, he was with a woman and he had a fantasy about about his girlfriend sleeping with another woman while he watched and well, she did a better job then he did at pleasing her and she left him for her. :/

He learnt that you should never ask your loved one to help you live out the fantasy.....and he never did again. the poor guy. :/
 get_over_it
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 19
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:47:04 AM
well (a) don't tell them your thinking of anyone else or fantasizing, (b) wait till you've been with that person for a decade and see if you don't find it easier to fantasize about other people. One person that just does the same stuff over and over gets a little dull so the fantasy adds some flavor to it.

Also that "same ole routine" makes it easier to think about stuff you did with your Ex's that your current S.O. isn't willing to do. So yeah I'll think about certain things my ex-gf and I used to do, missing it and knowing that I'll never get to do it again. Mainly cuz my spouse isn't willing, so I just gotta deal with it. And I do, thru fantasizng about it.

I'll never cheat on my wife, so that as close as I can safely get. lol
 † §weet £eaƒ †
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 20
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:55:32 AM
If I'm dreaming of someone else... I'm not happy with what I have ... therefore I dump em!
 get_over_it
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 21
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 1/11/2006 11:59:32 AM
only if your dating.

I'm not gonna dump my wife and leave my son fatherless after a decade because of sex or her lack of imagination. Thats shallow and stupid to give up everything I have in my life because she doesn't like to do some sexual position. Stupid to say the least.

Sex isn't the end all. I love her and I'm smart enough to be happy to be having sex at all, even if it isn't the greatest, at least I'm with someone that loves me and needs me. Thats all that matters. On top of that I need to be part of my little boy's life 24/7.

Sex isn't at the top of my priority list. Its a fun thing, but not #1 on my list of important things to stay married for.
 gymrat500
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 22
How many people fantasize about someone else when being intimate with their spouse
Posted: 3/15/2006 8:58:57 PM
I fantasize every single time I have sex with a woman who I will most likely never have because she's married, but she's also one of my best friends and she knows how crazy i am about her because i've told her. it used to drive me nuts not telling her what she already knew but now i flirt with her more than before but i'd never try to put the moves on her because having her as a friend means i can go see her almost anytime i want and i couldn't risk losing that although i know the sex would be the best i will ever experience in a thousand lifetimes.......
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