| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:47:10 PM | I've been talking to this guy on-line for a couple of weeks when he asked to meet in person two weeks ago. I agreed. The night before our meet he cancelled saying that he had to do something for his aunt. We re-scheduled for this week and the night before he cancelled again stating that he was sick. We have re-scheduled a third time for this week. I am a little apprehensive, as I think he might flake out again. I want to emphasize that I did not push to meet him in person. I was content talking to him via email and phone for the moment.
So, my question is this: What do you think of this behavior and should I give this guy a third chance and meet him in person?
Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.
Thanks! | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:50:02 PM | those are 2 strikes and he's not out yet. way to live up to ur own expectations. even if he was sick or had to do stuff with his aunt , he might be honest here. but he coulda also changed the date ,from a date to a coffee meet and great just for a half hour
but he didnt , drop him | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:51:30 PM |
The night before our meet he cancelled saying that he had to do something for his aunt. We re-scheduled for this week and the night before he cancelled again stating that he was sick. We have re-scheduled a third time for this week. I am a little apprehensive, as I think he might flake out again. I want to emphasize that I did not push to meet him in person.
Stand him up.....  tell him you had to do something for your aunt. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:18:10 PM | We re-scheduled for this week and the night before he cancelled again stating that he was sick.
When you say "we" who exactly re-scheduled it? cause in my view whoever cancels a meeting is gonna have to do the re-scheduling. To be honest though, I think he is setting you up! I mean in reality anybody has at least 30 min in a day and if they dont, then they shouldnt be dating or claim that they're looking on here so making excuses such as " I had to do something for my aunt or I'm sick" just dont sound right to me. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:49:10 PM | | No need to be apprehensive. Be more businesslike. If he should cancel this week? Done deal. No more communication - nothing because he's PLAYING with you. I don't see any obligation on your part to tolerate it. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:56:03 PM | He's feeling apprehensive because you're absolutely beautiful.
He's afraid he won't "measure up."
Give him a second chance (or third). If he doesn't show up this time, dump him. You can do so much better! | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 8:22:09 PM | | Unless he has said anything else to give you a bad gut feeling that he isn't being truthful, I agree about the quick meet. I am guessing that where you work you know of some places close by there. Maybe arrange for something right after work. I don't know what distance he is from you, but perhaps it will make things a bit less stressful for him. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 9:28:23 PM | I'm not sure if this is going to post, as my last few posts either haven't shown up or have been deleted, but just in case.....
OP, IMO, I would give it one last shot. Real life happens and sometimes it's nothing you can work around. However, 3 times in a row would be definite deal breaker for me.
Being sick, understandable.
Having to do something for his Aunt, that could depend. Finding out at the last minute that you had to pick her up at the airport because whoever WAS going to do it, no longer can and she needs a ride.......things like that are more than acceptable reasons. Needing to mow her lawn or something to that effect......he could have scheduled around, especially since he'd already made plans with you for a date.
Since I don't know the guy or the situation, I really can't say. But, I believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt, until it turns into a pattern.
Just my 2 cents. It's worth what you paid for it. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 11:39:56 PM | Dine, I don't know what these guys are thinking when they pull this s**t, but that has happened to me as well. My first impulse is to blow this guy off, he is obviously not worthy of you. Like the website says : there are 'PLENTY OF FISH' in the sea, who needs a screw up like that?
Seriously, his actions speak louder than his words, even if something eventually materializes with this loser, he will be a HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT (for any woman) in the long run. Bye Bye, LOSER! (His loss!!) | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/1/2009 11:44:38 PM | | Don't buy into those excuses, thats all they are! Once, okay, it can happen, but twice, na-uh! You deserve better! | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 5:11:13 AM | If I make plans to meet someone and he stands me up/changes them he gets one chance and it had best be for a very good reason!
If he totally stands me up he gets NO chances to make another date.
2 strikes is plenty...but please if you do give him the 3rd chance and he screws up please don't give him a 4th. Hunny you are better than that.
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:27:23 AM | Wow, I had to check your profile and make sure you weren't from northeastern ohio. This fellow sounds just like a guy I dated once!
Part of me says kick him to the curb and find someone more worth your time. At the same time.... too often we quickly dismiss someone without truly knowing the full story and possibly miss out on the right one.
Hmmm... a bit of a conundrum. I'd say go ahead and let him schedule the 3rd date but don't get your hopes up. If he cancels a 3rd time, confront him and say look.... I don't know what the deal is here, but enough is enough. See ya! And then walk away.
At least this guy is giving you SOME notice of cancellation. Mine waited until I was halfway to his town before calling me to tell me he had to cancel. Ugh. And not just once.... but 3 times.
As in baseball...3 strikes, your out! | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:29:04 AM |
So, my question is this: What do you think of this behavior and should I give this guy a third chance and meet him in person?
OP, he has difficulty keeping his engagements because his wife is making him run a lot of errands. Or maybe he's a drunk and he was just hung over? | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:33:21 AM | Aren't you just the facetious one  but you sure are funny airconditioninthesummer . Thanks for making me spit coffee at my monitor. . In all seriousness though OP he's doing one of a few things....playing you, he's married and seeking outside 'fun', or he's being totally honest (the last is less likely though) | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:33:59 AM | I dont know the guy so none of can say what this particular fella is like, I say plan one more meeting ( not a date) if he comes up with another excuse, politely say " its been nice chatting with you but Im moving on" end of story.
Dont try to figure out why he's flaking out, its not worth your time, are you here to meet someone or be a psychologist and listen to their excuses or be phone buddies? | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:42:56 AM | | forget him, hes playing games and if hes honest, you wouldn't be asking this | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:54:43 AM | | Are you interested in the man? Really interested? Or is he just someone you wouldn't 'mind' meeting? If you really aren't all that interested in him, I'd say pass. If you feel a connection with him through the emails and phone calls, then give him one more chance. It's three strikes and you're out. Tell him also. If he fails to follow through this time, he can stick a fork in it... you're done. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 8:01:16 AM | I go by the 3 strikes rule myself but I also go by never say never. Life can throw us some weird sh1t at times.
When he has canceled has HE been the one to re-schedule with specific time/place? If he does, to me that shows interest and would make me be more acceptable of wanting to try meeting again. If it is just a general "Yeah lets try again next week." I would probably be "Sorry I am busy re-arranging my sock drawer.". | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:43:29 AM | If you think you might like him, give him one more chance. It wont cost you anything, just keep your expectations down, you might be pleasantly suprised.
Id make it convienent for you however, make him jump through a few hoops for putting you out two times. If he is sincere, he will understand this and go a bit more out of his way. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 10:49:50 AM | Op, I've been there and endured/allowed even more strikes....
Just be cautious/aware of a Mr Unavailable. He's not capable of accommodating you.
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 10:55:25 AM | Third strike and he's out.
I guess it depends on how much I like the guy. If he's playing games, I wouldn't be able to give him too many chances.
If he cancels the third time around, you should definitely let it go. | |
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| 2 strikes and you're out?
Posted: 8/2/2009 2:38:16 PM | I was alway's told in life growing up.... once shame on you...twice shame on me. I have had family emergency's that have kept me from going to a date but I alway's call and make another day and time. It does happen in life yes but I myself dont let it get to the 3rd time, that to me is a major indicator of a person with life so busy they have to sort it out before a relationship.
but....what do I know I'm just a simple man living life to the best of my ability. | |
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