| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/2/2009 3:47:28 PM | A Blonde and a Brunette both jump off a cliff at the same time.
Which one will hit the bottom first??
The Brunette because the Blonde has to ask for directions. 
She was sooooooo blonde that she got locked in a grocery store
and still starved to death.
( Okay guys... your turn... give me your best dumb blonde jokes here.. ) | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/2/2009 4:03:17 PM | A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working
there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blondes headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the hairdresser asks the blonde how she likes her hair but to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens... She hears...
"Breathe in.. breathe out... breathe in... breathe out." | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/2/2009 4:26:16 PM | A beautiful blonde woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" "No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous!"
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/2/2009 6:01:47 PM | A blonde working in a paper factory one day accidentally gets her ear cut off. She screams for help and immediately people jump to bandage the wound and try to find the ear. After a few minutes, a young mand stands up holding the ear & shouts 'I found it!' The blonde looks up teary eyed and says, "That's not my ear, mine had a pencil behind it!"
What do you call one blonde blowing into another blonde's ear?
A data transfer! | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:24:17 PM | Why did the blonde climb over the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side...
*rimshot* | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:19:36 PM | BLONDE COWBOY
A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'
The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff ...
I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants... So I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy.. '
'And here I am.'
"Son of a Gun. Blonde Men do exist!" | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:22:11 PM | Some friends and I were out driving around in one my buddy's cars when we were kids. We got kinda lost and stopped at this country gas station to ask directions. The guy driving stuttered really bad so he ask ask ask askt asked us to g g g g g g et the d d dir dir directions p p p pulease. So as we were debating who would go inside to ask where we were this huge blonde guy probably 6'6" 300 pounds of muscle and a really mean look on his face comes out to see what we are doing. He leans into the car window and looks at the guy driving (the one who stutters) and says "c c c c c c an I I I I h h h h help yy yy y you bb b boys"? .. we all sat quietly looking at Billy to see what he would say. ...
ok not a true blonde joke but I like it.
Know why there are so many blonde jokes?? .. 'cause brunettes and redheads are home alone with time to make them up.
How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?? .. just one to flash some stupid dude walking by and get him to do it for a fake phone number.
What do you call a redhead and 4 blondes standing on a corner?? Regular price , 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks. .... yea its an old reference but I still like it.
A blonde gets onto a jet liner and even though she has a coach ticket she sits in first class. The man who actually payed for the first class seat points to his ticket and says "sweety you're in my seat"
she replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California to be an actress"
The man grabs a flight attendant and relays his problem to her.
The flight attendant asks the woman to move back to her coach seat. Her reply is "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California to be an actress"
The flight attendant goes and gets the co-pilot, she relays the information to the c0-pilot on the way. When they get to the blonde woman the co-pilot asks her one more time to return to her coach seat. The Blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California to be an actress"
The co-pilot bends down and whispers somethig into her ear.. the blonde immediately blushes a very deep shade of red and jumps up and almost runs back to her coach seat.
The flight attendant and the man are both very impressed with this and ask how he did it.."what did you say to her"??
"Simple" he replied " I told her first class was going to New Jersey.
      
Blonde, brunette, and redhead .. this one is bad I suggest if you're squeemish don't continue reading... blonde brunette and redhead sitting at a bar argueing about who has the biggest pudder.. the redhead says "well I can get my whole hand up in there without any pain"
The brunetter says "my b/f is huge and has huge hands and he can get his hand all the way inside of me without hurting me."
The blonde giggles and slides down the barstool.....
Ok i'm stopping now .../wave | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:14:39 PM | what do you call a blond who dies her hair
?
superficial intelligence
whats the diff between a blond and a blowling ball?
you can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
dolly parton and princess di r standing at the gates of heaven...
st peter regretfully informs them that their all full up and only have room
for one more. whitch ever one of you can prove to me your worthyness gets in.
so dolly steps up to the podium and flashes her tatas at st peter.
very nice he replies im pretty sure we could make room for you....
princess di steps forward ... drops her drawrs and proceeds to take out a douce
and do her buisness right in front of the two of them.
st peter then allows the princess to pass through the pearly gates.
why you ask?
cause even in heaven a royal flush beats two pair. | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:46:08 AM | To prepare for his big date, a young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade".
He was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.
The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however, the young man’s sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen, and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his johnson immersed in a glass of milk. Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that’s how you guys load those things!" | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:55:32 AM | --How does a blonde's brain cell die?
Alone!
--What do call a blond with two brain cells?
Pregnant!
---What do you call a bunch of blonds standing in a line?
An airline!
---OK to be fair
---What do brunettes miss about the best partys?
The invitation! | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:14:43 PM | Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them. | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/8/2009 12:10:15 AM | A brunette is jumping in the middle of the street saying "ninety-nine....ninety-nine..."
when a blonde pulls over and asks "what are you doing?"
so the brunette answers "I'm jumping in the street yelling ninety-nine." the blonde smiles and asks "oh can i try?" the brunette nods and moves to the side of the road....
the blonde starts jumping yelling ninety-nine...ninety-nine...." when a car hits her the brunette walks back to the middle of the road and says one-hundred...."
not the greatest but i can see some one doing it | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/8/2009 3:01:31 AM | | Whats the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley Anwer:- Ashopping trolley has a mind of its own | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 8/8/2009 4:06:45 PM | A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick thru the window to unlock the car?" The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger. A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her. As he approaches the blonde working the hanger in the window, he notices another blonde inside the car, coaching "No, no! A little to the left."
Blonde questions: "When I erase a word with a pencil where does it go??"
"How do they get deer to cross at the yellow "Deer Crossing" signs?"
Is this chicken or tuna because it says on the can "Chicken of the Sea" ?
- Jessica Simpson | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:24:33 AM | | I walked into a supermarket and asked the assistant for some blonde butter,he looked at me strangely.I explained i wanted something that spead easily | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 10/2/2009 10:54:03 AM | A blond looked at the orange juice carton all day,it said concentrate.
A blond buys condoms,the pharmacist says" that will be 1.06 please" she says " I can read you know and it says 1.00, so whats the extra 6 cents for?" the pharmacist says "thats for the tax" the blond says " oh, I was wondering how they kept them on" | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:17:22 AM | how do you kill a blonde?
put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool. | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:45:54 PM | Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other,
"Boy, business stinks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to
lose my ass."
Then he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away. Immediately,
he apologized for his bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I can relate; if I don't sell more ass
this month, I'm going to lose my
car." | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:21:36 PM | | o hahah those were sum of the fking dumbest jokes i have ever heard. are u serious u guys are 50 and 60 telling fking blond jokes seriously get al ife | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:41:46 AM | | How do you change a blondes mind?? Blow in her ear. | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:12:13 AM |
o hahah those were sum of the fking dumbest jokes i have ever heard. are u serious u guys are 50 and 60 telling fking blond jokes seriously get al ife
And you're 19 years old, spending your free time on the internet complaining about the sense of humor of people 2-3x your age, under the impression that anybody actually gives a crap what you think. /facepalm
Anywho....
When the blonde went to bed, what did her left leg say to her right leg? Nothing, they never met.
What's the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up in the morning? She goes home.
A blonde woman was walking down the street, when she passed an empty dirt lot. On her way past, she noticed another blonde, in a rowing for all she was worth in a canoe in the middle of the field. Outraged, she stopped, and shouted, "HEY, YOU!! It's women like you that give the rest of us blondes a bad name!!! If I had a boat, I'd come out there and kick your ass!" | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:41:42 AM | These are, for the most part, harmless jokes. If you can't appreciate good humor you probably need some yourself. Woman appreciate a guy who has a sense of humor. Even the blondes.
How does a blond turn on a light at night? She opens the car door.
A cop pulls over a blond and when he asks her for her license and registration she tells him he doesn't have them. The officer asks her for her name and goes back to his car and radios the station for a licence plate check. His buddy at the station asks him if the driver is a hot looking blond and the officer replies yes. His buddy tells him to do exactly as he says. The officer then gets out of the car and goes up to the blond. He asks her to get out of the car. Once she is out the officer drops his pants. The blond exclaims," Oh great, another breathalizer test." | |
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| Dumb Blonde Jokes..
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:11:51 AM | Did you hear about the blonde engineer’s new project?
She’s putting ejector seats in helicopters. | |
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