| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:06:26 PM | | Ok I have never posted here before but really could you some male advice. I met a man on here, He is wonderful, kind, we have a good time when we go out, he has come for dinner etc. We have been seeing each other for about 3 months. Usually its only a few hours a week. He works nights I work days so it makes it hard. the thing is, we go out but then he usually says he is meeting the guys for a beer after. No problem with that. When he calls me though during the week, it is usually when he is on his way to work or from work, never from his home. I am thinking that he thinks if he calls we have to go out and meet for coffee . How do I tell him he can call without having to go out. The other thing is he has never touched me, never tried to kiss me. He gave me a hug but only after I asked for one. This is something I'm not used to. We are both middle aged, he is a few years older. Both of us have been married and we both have our own homes. Do you think he is into me or maybe seeing others after dropping me off. I am really confused and don't know how I should approach the subject. I was in the hospital recently and he didn't come to see me which is fine but I just don't know what to think. Sorry this is so long. | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:15:53 PM | If he has been working nights for years it may be subconsious. Other than the few people you know that work the shift you don't use your phone much since people are usually busy during the day.
Give him an idea when he can call and not disturb you during the day and he may be more active with the phone. Also find out when he is sleeping during the day, it may be when your getting off work or otherwise available.
As for touching grab the guy and kiss him for no reason. You may be in for a shock. Working that shift you have very little human interaction and just become used to lack of touch. | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:16:39 PM | If you were into someone and they were in the hospital (was your stay longer than several hours?) would you go and visit them?
I think you have your answer... | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:17:15 PM | I'm so sorry to tell you this, but he's just not interested. He will consider you as a "friend" but nothing more. Time to move on, my friend.
Been there too, so I understand.
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:20:40 PM | OK, so he's come to your house for dinner: Normal
Hangs out with the guys: Normal
Calls you on his way to work: Normal
Calls on his way home: Normal
After three months, you've never been to his house?: Not normal
He never calls you from his house, even from his cell?: Not normal OR, maybe he's sleeping when he's home.
Never visited you in the hospital: Maybe he was working and didn't have time.
Never tried to hug or kiss you?: Normal -- Maybe he's shy and you should do like you did last time, either ask or just do it.
It's hard to tell. For your sake I hope he's not married or has someone else, but things are kind of suspicious. If you're interested, you're just going to have to brave it, and pursue that hug and kiss you're after. And simply tell him that you two don't have to hang out everytime he calls. Communication! It's kind of important. Chances are, if he weren't interested he wouldn't be calling and/or coming over for dinner.
Good luck,
Cityboy | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:35:30 PM | Exhibit A:Middle-aged.
Exhibit B: 3 months, no action. No kissing, no touching, no hugging unless requested.
Let me give you your answer in girlspeak:
You've been seeing each other, but not seeing each other seeing each other.
Move on. | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 8:09:14 PM |
For your sake I hope he's not married or has someone else, but things are kind of suspicious.
This was exactly my conclusion base only on the information you provided.
Questions:
Have you gone out in public on a date?
Have you had a workday off and he just happened to be too busy to hang out? (Thinking his day job is real and his nite job could be his SO)
Send him some flowers to his house with a sweet note. Or at least tell him there are some on the way. If he looks like a deer in headlights......there you go.
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/2/2009 8:10:49 PM | Let me see if i got this straight:
1. You've been seeing each other 3 months for only a couple hours a week.
2. He's never touched you or kissed you by his own volition.
3. He didn't come visit you in the HOSPITAL.
Given these factors, your big concer is that he doesn't call you from home?!?! Not only is he not into you, but i wouldn't even call what you have a friendship. Of COURSE he is seeing other people. Did you seriously, for one second, think you were in a relationship with him!? If so, that is really scary. | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:15:57 AM | | You know. Let this one go. Oh, and do yourself a favor and expect more from people. Don't recreate this if it's not what you want. | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:24:53 AM | Why bother? The guy sounds like a complete bore. You don't think you can do better?
The best thing to do is just talk to him about it. 3 months and this issue hasn't been approached? Sounds like a waste of time. | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:30:56 AM | | Well I also worked Nights for years and I never had a life but didn't want to get seriously involved with anyone because it would be to difficult also very hard to get some sleep durring the day and if I was in my 50s I would rather have peace and quite durring the day and I am sure he has kids at home and doesn't want anyone calling his phone during the afternoon because he can't answer it when he is asleep and doesn't want to be bothered. Nothing is more anoying than someone calling in the middle of the Night or Day when you work at nights, he doesn't want to touch you because he isn't sexually active and just wants friends to see when he can nothing more. I think you will be friends only and nothing really serious can come from this, if you need someone to be with you romantically you will have to find someone without so much responsiblities. | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:07:15 AM |
I met a man on here, He is wonderful, kind, we have a good time when we go out, he has come for dinner etc. We have been seeing each other for about 3 months.
Umm.... Unless you deleted and came back you have only been here not quite a month. You say you met this wonderful guy here 3months ago. A tad bit confused.
I can only tell you what I would do in this situation. If I had been dating someone 3 months and I had some questions I would talk to him in a nonconfrontational manner. By this time I had better have a great communication ability or we aren't going anywhere.
good luck Welcome to POF | |
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| How do I know what he is looking for?
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:12:49 AM | | What the hell..he hasn't even attempted to touch or kiss you after 3 months? I know you met him on here, a dating site....but are you sure he is not gay?! Sorry, too weird for me. I am surprised you haven't made a move atleast after the third date! Holy crap.... | |
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