| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:50:43 PM | okay so this is not my child! my daughter is 5 and has no internet at all lol. i am on another site its kinda like a facebook but i think more for dating. now the other day this person added me to their friends i checked the profile it said she was 28 i thought maybe she was another mom just wanting to chat about mom things. to my surprise she is not 28 she is 13.today she put up a pic of her with her 2 cousins in bikinis... that disturbs me so today she messages me like everytime i log on and i told her she needs to take that done that not everyone is great on the internet, she did but i keep telling her to becareful but really im not her mom i cant stop her from doing this.
my question is
1.) do you think this is a normal thing for our teens today?
2.) where the heck are her parents now i know before i had my daughter i was an avid believer that MY child WILL NEVER DO THAT but really i think i would loose it with this.
3.) how many parents really honestly can say they monitor what their child does on the internet? | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:58:24 PM | Yeah, I think it's pretty normal. Kids are doing really dumb things and a lot of parents are naive about it. My child is also 5 so I don't have to do it online quite yet. But a lot of parents don't monitor what their children are doing at all.
Do you sometimes wonder about the new brand of hell those of us with younger children will have to deal with? I tell ya, it was over for me when I heard about girls in middle school giving BJs on the bus... | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/2/2009 8:18:18 PM | Is it "normal?" ... That depends on what you feel is normal.
Is is ok? Hell no. Parents need to either be real parents or use raincoats.
Parents: beat your kids. Please.
(DCFS workers and extremely sensative people reading this post relax, it's just an expression) | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/2/2009 8:30:29 PM | | You really have to watch them carefully, even invading their privacy, for their own good, when they are that young. The danger is just too great. | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:25:36 PM | The fact that she is 13 and on a Facebook type site is not surprising. Everything we do today seems to be done better online, at least in people's minds. So it's no wonder our kids spend as much or more time on the computer than their parents. But there is a limit I believe to having a 13 year old on a dating site. Unfortunately a lot of parents are not aware of their kids activities online. So to answer your questions:
1. It is normal for teens to be sites like Facebook and MySpace but with caution. Like with anything else a parent should check up on the sites they visit and know who they are talking to as well as view the pictures they post.
2. A lot of parents have complete trust that "no child of theirs would do..." which is dumb. Kids are kids, no matter how good of a kid they are they can and will get into things they shouldn't. Of course there are those parents that let their kids do whatever they want. And then there are those kids that will sneak and do things even though they are watched like a hawk.
3. My kid is seven so it's easy to monitor everything that she does online. And I use Kidzui. Being how my computer is in my room I doubt that will change even when she is 17, but of course I can't always see every move she makes. | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:31:04 PM | | No, no, no,no...I just have to say no...lol....13, what the hell.....I have an 18 year old and i still check what she is doing online.....You can never be to safe and what is going on with the parents that they dont know what she is doing...just saying. | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:59:18 AM |
1.) do you think this is a normal thing for our teens today?
Yep, absolutely normal.
2.) where the heck are her parents now i know before i had my daughter i was an avid believer that MY child WILL NEVER DO THAT but really i think i would loose it with this.
Her parents may well be sitting on the couch next to her, oblivious as she uploads her pictures. They may also be very very very good parents---this technology and exposure is nothing like anything her parents grew up with. It's like going from farms to cities in the industrial revolution---you want your kids to be exposed to the good stuff that comes from "progress" but it's impossible to be exposed to the good without being exposed to the bad as well.
3.) how many parents really honestly can say they monitor what their child does on the internet?
I can. Keylogger and zero privacy when online, no computers in the bedroom, etc. I know what they're doing online.* If they want privacy they can keep a journal (which I highly recommend). The exhibitionism and attention-seeking on the web is painful to watch. These kids (and adults, jeez just read some of the posts here) are desperate for attention. Very sad.
*That does not mean I'm under any illusion that I know what they're doing all the time. In monitoring their online activities I'm more interested in preventing something stupid they do in their teens to stick around and affect them down the line as far as school/job/etc. goes. | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/3/2009 6:25:17 AM | "she put up a pic of her with her 2 cousins in bikinis... "
Can you provide a link? I think we should all check it out so we can make up are own minds.
Parents need to talk to their kids and check out what they post from time to time, to see if they heard you or not when you were talking. | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:02:08 AM | | lol can you put up the link... i gave her crap about the pic last night she promised me she would take it down i just wondered cuz i know i will be a nosey overprotective child..my friend got a free password tracker off line she used that to track her 13 yr old sons activities on line. another friend of mine gave their 9 yr old daughter a cell phone all i could think is wait another yr and see who she is calling. | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:03:06 AM | | if its a dating site its sick, i wouldnt be friends with her on there as you dont know what kind of trouble it mught throw your way! | |
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| 13 on a dating site?
Posted: 8/3/2009 12:16:47 PM | I was raised in a household that nothing was private. My parents told us that the day we move out and pay the bills is the day we could afford privacy. I don't blame them. We didn't push the boundaries too much so there wasn't much reason for them to intervene but still...if they felt the need to they felt it was their right and responsibility of being parents.
There is no way my daughter would go unmonitored. | |
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