| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:30:01 PM | Hi all I met a great girl I thought. It seemed she had great morals, the quiet type, shy... Until after two weeks of dating things got more serious with us... We started spending more time together... Until she started having mood swings, every other day and it continued to be every other day. After a month or so we started spending almost every day together... Well her mood swings turned from every other day to every day... When these mood swings of hers started getting old... I tried sitting her down and tell her how it makes me feel, and it hurts me. She thinks I treat her great, she would cry and say I know I haven't been treating you right and I'm sorry. Just don't give up on me give me time... I asked her are you trying to change because of me or because of you? She said I wanna be a better person and a better girl friend... Until the next day the same thing happens again.
In the beginning of the relationship she never wanted to hold hands in public or kiss me... Instead she would kinda look around to see if anybody is looking... I tried telling her hey it hurts when you push me away even at her apartment and she would say to me. Well if I don't feel like kissing you I don't have too. Anyways I tried to tell her hey I need time to think things over... She got the idea that she would never see me again I tried explaining it to her it's not what she thinks... She got scared and begged me not to go...
She started becoming more mean it turned into verbal abuse then I hear 10 mins later baby Im sorry... I finally got fed up decided to defend myself and say something back... Now its all my fault? Anyways I gave her like 25 chances and I was still willing to stand by her... sShe knows deep down she messed up our relationship. Then the arguments that she started and she said she has a hard time thinking before she says something...
She turns around and says well we arguing alot... She ended the relationship just like that... Only thinking of herself... By saying I need time and I need to go find myself. After her friends talked to her which her friends have never met me which she took their side and not mine... When I've been nothing but good to her... Yesterday we had a calm discussion. I told her I wanna work this out she mentioned every relationship i get into I mess it up.... I said to her that we can fix this when she feels there is no more hope... Then she has something to admit to me. She told me her and a friend saw a movie... I asked oh at a movie theatere? She said no at my place and its a guy friend of hers shes known for 4 years. She said I swear nothing happened, they were sitting on the couch she leaned on him and used him as a pillow and she fell asleep while he held her around her waist. I was shocked and I hung up. I have been ignoring her since... She said she needed a break and she still cared about working things out with me... 1 week after she says this... She invites another guy to her place stating hes just a friend...
Do I have a right to be upset about this? Thanks for reading... | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:34:55 PM | | Yes you have a right. She sounds a little... bipolar maybe. Those types are hard to deal with esp if not on meds and regular therapy sit downs. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:34:55 PM | If you are upset about it then don't worry if you have a right to be.
You can have any feelings you want. If she hurt you then maybe it's time to let her go. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:35:02 PM |
Do I have a right to be upset about this? No. She was this way 14 days into it and you stuck around to take more and more and more of her abuse. You gave her 25 chances, so you lost your right to be upset after the 4th chance.
You do, however, have the right to stop seeing her. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:37:21 PM | | OP: You had the right to be upset the 1st, 2nd and maybe 3rd incident. After that you are ALLOWING her to be abusive, and remain in a unstable relationship. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:41:17 PM | | Wow, where to start.... In my opinion you definitely have a right to be upset! It sounds as though she has some mental/emotional issues and if that is the case, she is not going to get better without help. Meaning professional help. Is it possible she takes drugs? and I don't mean prescription. This is so much easier said than done, but you don't need this emotional rollercoaster. There is so much here I could spout off about, but to keep it short, unless she gets some help I dont see your relationship mending and/or improving. That's just my take on the situation and I hope things work out for you as you seem like one of the good guys. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:46:11 PM | I dont even have to read through this whole post. Your girlfriend is ashamed of you, she is looking around to see if anyone is looking before holding your hand. She also seems to have a bad attitude, which usually happens with people that are unhappy in relationships or life. Set this 1 free and although it is hardly said on these forums to men, you need to work on your self esteem. I wouldnt of put up with this for a day, forget the 20 chances you gave. 
I also would have to disagree with the poster above me. You are not 1 of the good guys, there is nothing good about anyone making themselves into a victim or emotional, or physical abuse! | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:50:16 PM | Heck yea you have every right to be upset..stick to your guns. Sometimes there are things that you have to let go, especially so soon into the relationship. I believe most of us are on this site to meet pleasurable people(whether or not it works out is another story), ut I wish you and her the best..keep on trucking and take care.. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:59:09 PM | | I mean things did get a little bit better... She became more calm... She always said her job stressed her out and etc... I would always admit if you said something to me and I said the same thing back... Would it hurt your feelings? She said of course it would. She would give me gas money for driving out to see her but... I just don't understand if she realizes what she's done. She always told me I am a great guy you dont deserve this. I guess I didn't want to give up on her and be her best friend and show her what love really is... She said most guys would give me the boot and say see ya... I wanted to show her I was different but not to the point she's gonna give me the boot after everything I've done for her... | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:03:12 PM |
In the beginning of the relationship she never wanted to hold hands in public or kiss me... Instead she would kinda look around to see if anybody is looking
^^^ Trademark behaviour of a two-timer
Then she has something to admit to me. She told me her and a friend saw a movie... I asked oh at a movie theatere? She said no at my place and its a guy friend of hers shes known for 4 years
Hmmmm.... go figure.
She said I swear nothing happened,
^^^ Probably the same words she said to him if she were caught with you.
Do I have a right to be upset about this?
You should be more upset that you want a serious relationship with a mentally unstable woman who apparently feels it's all your fault... and the last guy's fault.... and the guy before him is at fault...blah,blah, blah!
She's either a manipulative player and/or she is too unstable to date. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:12:34 PM | | If she is abusing you, it is because you are letting her. She obviously has no respect for you, and you don't demand respect. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:17:59 PM | | ^^Yep... if you're volunteering to be a doormat, don't be surprised when you get stepped on. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:28:48 PM | I wouldn't waste my time on her and move on. There are women out there that would treat you with respect. I have noticed a lot of men/women would much rather be in a verbally abusive relationship instead of a healthy relationship. Life is too short not to be happy. There are many fish in the ocean so start fishing for the catch of a lifetime.   | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:52:23 PM | OP, I can't even imagine what there even IS to fight about in only two weeks, so if I were in your shoes I would just count my blessings to find out early what she's like, and dodge this bullet. I assume she is an adult, so the onus is on her to control her behaviour and emotions, not on you. Emotional cripples aren't attractive, IMO.
If it's this bad two weeks in, just imagine how much worse it would be at two months, two years....  | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:03:41 PM | I read this, and really expected this situation to belong to a very very young person . 18 to 20. .... I was shocked to see you are 31. . . All I can say is people continue to treat you the way you allow them too! I would have told her to get bent the first few times she cursed at me and yelled.
^T^ | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:17:17 PM | | OP, stay away from this person. Emotional abuse doesn't go away unless the abuser is actively in treatment. Quite often they have serious self esteem issues themselves, and the abuse isn't really about the other person at all. The person who posted just before me is absolutely right. People treat you the way you allow them to. Find someone who will actually treat you the way you treat them. They are out there! Good luck to you. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:24:01 PM | | Wait, it took her cuddling with another guy to make you upset after she'd been manipulating and verbally abusing you for the duration of the realtionship? Sure, be upset--but whatever you do, DTMFA. There is only misery here. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:24:47 PM | She started becoming more mean it turned into verbal abuse then I hear 10 mins later baby Im sorry...
she said she has a hard time thinking before she says something...
she mentioned every relationship i get into I mess it up....
there's your answer. the answer to all your questions about this person; the answer of answers. whoa, she's beyond drama queen... she is a high maintenance freak. sorry but there is really no better way to say it than to just go straight to the bottom line and i mean right now. a few weeks and already your relationship with this person is filled with bullshit. don't delude yourself by thinking it's going to go anywhere but downhill from here. cut the chord, jettison that dysfunctional load, be done with it all ready. yep it's broke and you can't fix it. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:50:58 PM | | Tell her everyone has the right to remain silent. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:50:09 PM | Yeah, either dump her or verbally beat the shit out of her. Then, if she attacks you, pick her up and body-slam her!  | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:51:51 PM | Exactly why are you still there? I don't see any relationship there to "work out".
From now on remember, if someone is not willing to hold your hand or be affectionate in public, it is a sign that they have no respect for you, and never will.
Very quietly, and with great dignity - walk away. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:59:25 PM | Yes you have the right to be upset about this... No one likes being treated like that... You gave her more then enough chances to fix the problems. It seems she has some issues that she needs to sort out before getting back in a relationship with you or anyone in the matter..
Just give her space, time... if you two are ment to be it will happen when it's ment. Clearly that's not now. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:00:57 PM | It's nice to believe you can be a "Knight" but she has too many issues for you to even contemplate trying to change.
She is self opinionated "may be bi-polar" but it's all "her way or the highway"....
Nor, do you want to be with someone after such a short time, all you do is argue, all she does is allow some other "friend" male to comfort her, she has no self worth what so ever.
We don't deserve "any" form of abuse "ANY"....
Go your own way and find a loving partner.
She is a bag of problems... | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:05:11 PM | | I'm the exact oposite. Not that I date much, but I dump at the hint of a negative tone. I just walk away without saying a word. I just don't have time or the energy to waste on an argument. I'd rather get the swine flu. | |
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| verbal abuse
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:08:21 PM | I'd rather get the swine flu.
 It could be fun to try to get her to hit you though. 
Then bend her over and spank her until she cries. | |
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