| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:34:39 PM | I wanted some insight...was wondering if those of you who have been dating awhile and also have been married (obviously not a great marriage if your here and single), which seems more complicated, which feels better to you...??? and why? | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:45:56 PM | Marriage is by far the more complicated relationship. It takes much more work, but the rewards are incredible when it is a healthy, happy marriage. I loved being married to my late husband. He was a wonderful man and we were very happy together. I would much rather be alone though, than in a bad marriage. As wonderful as a happy marriage is, there is nothing worse than a bad one. I've been in both.
Dating is just that. Going out with someone and trying to get to know them better. I don't find dating difficult or complicated. It's when you've decided that the person you are dating is someone you want to remain in your life as your partner, that the real work begins. Keeping it from becoming routine and boring and not taking each other for granted. Letting your partner know every day that you would choose him/her again if you had it to do over. That they still fill you with love and joy and you cannot imagine being without them.
A great marriage is the best. Nothing else comes close. Being married to the man I love, is the ultimate commitment I can make to him, and vice versa. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:48:19 PM | Maybe it's the Hallmark card and Lifetime movies in me but I was under the impression if you found the right person the relationship wouldn't be all that "hard."
It's only when you settle or try and force something that it becomes "hard."
Unless you mean is it harder to find the right person to date or find the right person to marry, but that seems like a moot question.
So (theoretically) the only thing more complicated would be learning new tax rules when newly married vs. having filed singly all your life.
As far as feeling better...I am kind of confused by that. The question doesn't make sense to me.
As it seems to me most relationships require more presence of mind than lazy afternoons trying to compare if you felt better when you were dating them or married to them. And if you are lazing around thinking "my life was better without this person in it" or "my life was better when we were just dating" then you'd be in the wrong relationship, wouldn't you? | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:57:58 PM | | marriage definetely is the hardest and is a lifelong committment... You meant to cherish through good and bad times, through sickness and health till death to us part. Chemistry and lust don't last but true friendship between husband and wife does. :) | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:34:47 PM |
It's only when you settle or try and force something that it becomes "hard." I would bet my life savings, you have never been married... and I do not believe in settling, ever when it comes to relationships, but with marriage, it is based on compromise...and many of the things you have to overlook and accept, are not always easy to do. You said you didnt understand the question... people who have spent years with one person, understand it clearly. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:40:18 PM | Personally, I have all my married friends saying "Thank God I"m not single. It would be too hard. Married life is easier"
So I"m going by what they say. Dating is harder. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:51:19 PM | Dating is harder.
At least when you are married its only 1 A**hole you are trying to please and/or understand...lol The dating games get old quickly.
Has anyone noticed the single ones all seem mentally ill or so arrogant you see why they are single?
JMHO | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:52:42 PM | Dating has been pretty tough. I was married, too, and actually thought it was much easier. I think it's because I took rejection while dating and the constant not knowing about relationships pretty hard years ago. These days, I just don't care.
A lot of my married friends say my dating life is pretty tough, and they wouldn't want to date again for anything in the world. Of course, I hear about their marriages, and I'm glad I'm single. So both are tough at times in different ways, in my opinion. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 9:29:25 PM | Marriage Marriage Marriage (is harder).... 17 years worth of it. Eeeeegaaadsssss, never again! He's getting everything in the divorce including my sanity. . . . Runs around the house , hands in the air trying to catch the drool!!!!!!!!!!!
^T^ | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:02:45 PM | imho, dating is harder. in my late forties, and finding guys my age are thinking they're hot enuf to get gals in their mid-30s. whatever. i just know that i am not interested in the paunchy 50s-60s guys that think i should be interested in them. nor the 25 yr olds (or less) that are seeking my "experience". lol.
seems to me, if i were in a relationship with a contemporary, there would be things to discuss and work on. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:24:45 AM | I don't think this is so much of an "either/or".
Dating has lots of fits/starts. There are a lot of basic insecurities that surface with meeting (or trying to meet) new people. Marriage requires work but IMO, the basic insecurities are already taken care of (or should be!).
The two are just different stages. Dating is "Where am I going and who am I going with?". Marriage is more of "Now that I know where I'm going and with whom, how do we get there?"
IME, dating has more complications/problems but they are less serious than the issues you deal with once married. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/5/2009 8:31:32 AM | | Dating is nearly impossible, while marriage is practically effortless. The challenge when dating is to convince the woman to marry. She's comparing you to her dreams and good luck coming out on top. Once you're married, it's up to her to her. There is not much work involved in providing the feedback she needs to tell if she is pleasing you or not. For most things all that's needed is a smile or a frown. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/5/2009 8:35:17 AM | Not married but had chances but blew them down as i knew they were not the right one for me. When i get married its 1 time and its gonna be with someone not just for sex.
I feel taking your time, getting to know someone, is best way to go.......don't settle for just anything. But take time to gain experience so then when the right guy comes along, you know exactly what you need to do...and what you need to change....gain some self confidence, be a better person.
note, i value marriage so i can't say marriage is bad...but if you dont take your time, then it will be....ive seen failed marriages a lot in friends. One friend got engaged after 2 weeks, divorced 3 years later...someone i dated got married in a month, got divorced 2 years later. But half the time he was in jail so......not a good marriage i dont think. | |
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| dating vs marriage, which is harder?
Posted: 8/5/2009 8:56:01 AM | Dating is much easier than marriage, IMO.
When dating, there is an incentive to continue being nice to each other as otherwise your SO could easily leave. Sex is usually frequent.
When you're married, the complacency syndrome sets in. It is hard and unpleasant to get out of a marriage, so you tend to put up with more unpleasantness and disapointment than when dating. Sex becomes unreliable in many marriages. If the man does something "wrong": no sex. If she has anything wrong in her life (even if the man does everything right!): no sex. If you have kids: no sex (a lot of the time).
Of course, some married couples beat the odds, but they're probably either very smart or very lucky! | |
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