| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:27:16 PM | | my girlfriend and i were having a discussion the other day about whether or not men are intimidated by women who can take care of themselves. i kinda disagree with her but wanted a GUY'S opionion. If a woman is smart and stable financially and emotionally wouldn't you want to be with someone like that? i have a twin home that is 89 years old and needs alot of work done to. i have worked on it myself because i'm not afraid to do or think its only a man's job to do so to speak. is it intimidating to a guy if a woman has a house and he doesn't? i don't feel anyone is intimidated by me but i was just curious as to what the guys had to say... | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:30:06 PM | | No, it isn't intimidating. However, it's a turn-off if a woman presents herself as someone that's so independent that she doesn't need a man. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:35:34 PM | Wouldn't bother me personally. It might be distracting for a while if she has better power tools than I do until I get to play with them all  | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:36:20 PM | I agree with Cyryl Whynr.
Also, you've really asked a couple of questions here. I'm not intimidated by a woman who can take care of herself...but I AM intimidated, to some extent, by a women who's substantially more...independent than I am (as in your example, a woman having a house) because it inevitably means she's looking for someone who's already at her level...so for me, it's like "well, f*ck, I might as well forget this, because I still live at home and I haven't landed that GOOD job yet". | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:37:49 PM | I've always liked independent women...
I had a girlfriend years ago... who ended up going with me to work on a buddy's car (and my own)... My friends had never met her before and a were a little freaked that I brought her to an 'all guy' day...
A short while later, it became apparent that none of us could fit under the car to cut the tail pipes off... she grabbed the hack saw and crawled under... 5 minutes later the job was done... my buddy handed her a beer and she was an accepted part of the crowd for years until she finally moved away... | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:44:57 PM | All right, it's simple. When a relationship doesn't work out between a man and a woman, almost always, the woman says one or more of the following to herself:
1) It's because I am too independent and honest, and that intimidates men!
2) It's because he thinks I am too fat, and so he's a Shallow Hal!
3) It's because I had sex with him too early, and he doesn't respect me!
Nothing short of brain surgery or re-engineering the entire human species will ever fix this problem. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:47:04 PM | | Possessions can't intimidate me, attitude can. And if you have an attitude that your possessions/financial status/stability somehow make you a better person than me....well, it wouldn't work out anyway. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:54:09 PM | ^^ This is the problem I see. When i see profiles that say they own a house there is almost always something in there saying YOU BETTER TOO OR YOU ARE A LOSER (in obviously different words.
Its all based on the attitude and not what she has or doesn't have. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:02:27 PM | i think is great that you have a house and you work on it, i would see you as someone that is willing to do the work that needs to be done in any aspect of your life , definetely anyone that has a problem with that is probably a gutt-less chicken affraid to damage his own manicure hehehehe
i need some work on my house as well so be welcome hahaha | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:03:33 PM | If a man finds you intimidating find better men. All there is to it. I mean, would you be willing to be less than who you are? My prediction is you won't be happy with a man like that anyway, cause you'd be thinking to yourself "Oh, am I too much of an achiever for him? What if the poor dear leaves me cause he thinks he's a useless loser?" If he thinks he's a useless loser - he is, and there is nothing you can do to change that.
Now, I need to remember and apply what I just said... I HAVE been left my a man who felt like a useless loser next to me. It was frustrating to try to convey what he ment to me cause all he saw in himself was a useless loser. It was about him not about me. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:03:45 PM | I don't think this question is really gender bias so I am going to jump in here.
I think if a person is identified by what they own or their career choice, screaming either verbally or nonverbally how independent they are. Is not intimdating as rather pathetic and a turn off..
If you think about it OP this question can be turned around and asked of either gender.
Example... Does a man that has his house paid for, drive a high end high performance car, great career make you feel intimadated?
Not trying to take over your thread just adding my two cents. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:08:30 PM | | Men are only intimidated by beauty when he is trying to ask women out, we have no idea what you have or accomplished from a first impression, if you make it known on the first date the only thing I can see that might be alittle intimidating is that you expect a guy to acheived much more. If you don't expect anything from him to prove himself good enough for you and let him know you are not that picky over guys accomplishments than it will put him at ease and will not think he has to impress you. Because from everything shown from your attitude about doing everything yourself you put of a vibe that you don't care or need a guy for anything and we figure what is the point in trying to date you if you will not accept us for who we are? | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:20:51 PM | As has been said before, it will be the attitude behind the independence rather than the independence itself.
Independence and success in a woman are no bad thing (like in a man, no difference) it, however, depends upon how this comes across in their personality. I am not saying owning many material possessions makes you a "bad" person (despite being rather unmaterialistic myself) but are you someone who is proud of yourself because of the acumen you employed to successfully obtain said items? Or because you own the items themselves? In my (and possibly mine only) opinion, the former is preferable and attractive, intelligence in any field is an admirable quality. However, if somebody focuses more on the fact they "have the car" rather than their qualities/traits perhaps unique to them that they used to get the car, then it fails to be as appealing. Many people can "own the car". Less people are likely to come to it, as maybe you did. I'd rather know about someone themselves, in their success stories. Not their stuff.
I do think though, that there is some truth in that men are more likely to be intimidated/put off by it, then perhaps a woman would in the reverse scenario, but that's the effects of cultural conditionining for you. Despite everything changing, the grey cloud of expectation still plagues us all. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:26:38 PM | Am I intimidating? thread #112,552....agree with the previous poster about looks possibly being intimidating at first...yet, I dont really meet a lot that I would classify there...some of the best looking gals that I have known were really friendly... | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:35:41 PM |
No, it isn't intimidating. However, it's a turn-off if a woman presents herself as someone that's so independent that she doesn't need a man.
I most definately agree with Cyryl Whynr on this one. I have no problem with a woman being independant, and prefer to be with one that is. I dont however find it attractive when a woman feels that she needs to tell everyman that she meets that she is an "independant woman". I am an independant man, yet I dont tell every woman that I meet that I dont need a woman to make me happy, and that I can do everything on my own without a womans help. Independance is a trait that is attractive and that goes without saying.
When I see profiles that speak of how independant that they are, own a house and work on it themselves, provide for themselves, and dont need any help in life, I immidiately clock the back button on my browser. All of these things are great, and something that anyone would expect in a man or a woman. These things are not something that need to be reiterated in text. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:44:04 PM | This is beginning to sound like a post of who has more assets. If a woman has more assets then me, but could care less about that, then I'm the man for her. Otherwise, if all she cares about in her profile write up is lookng for a man with butt loads of money with a house, well, that too damn materialistic for me.
I think what I find intimadating is the profile write ups that go like "I'm an idependant woman with a house, car and an awesome career"
I'm thinking to myself, like another guy posted, well, ef it, I don't have a chance in hell of meeting this girl because, I haven't been so fortunate in life. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:53:00 PM | I'm always happy to date a woman who can take care of herself, and at the same time everybody needs a helping hand sometimes when working on house projects, Speaking of which, I'll be remodelling my kitchen this fall and I'll be expecting you and your tool belt to show up, and don't forget your cordless screwgun and your laser level  | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 4:55:32 PM | Hasn't this post already been done?
I'd rather a woman be able to handle herself. Of course there is helping each other out, but if I'm going to be any kind of baby-sitter, I'd rather be getting paid for it. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:17:05 PM |
No, it isn't intimidating. However, it's a turn-off if a woman presents herself as someone that's so independent that she doesn't need a man.
Well said Cyryl. I've met a lot of women who act like that and I usually tell them that, vibrators don't hold very good conversations.
Tye | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:21:00 PM | | Almost every woman I know that has a house, A man bought and lost in the divorce. I said almost. | |
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| question for the guys
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:38:31 PM | i'm available for nights and weekends for all your remodeling projects...but it'll cost ya! no seriously i am not the type to brag about having a house it was alot of hard work for me to do on my own and something to be proud of. i don't think i am better then anyone for it, believe me that is not my personality. i was just wondering if it is something i should change in my profile. i appreciate the fedback! | |
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