| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:05:47 AM | If you were living alone or with a roommate, after how many dates or how long after meeting a guy for the first time would you ladies believe you would invite him to your home?
i am asking because before i got shot down on my first date, the girl i was supposed to meet said she was planning to invite me to her apartment (she lived with a male roommate whom she claimed was like her brother) and now this seemed very suspicious to me considering this was only date #1. you ladies would definitely not invite a guy over after just one date, right? | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:16:34 AM | I think your making way to much out of this. Yes on a blind internet date its best to meet in public. But I have had gals stop by my place later or went to her home after a date. Its about feeling comfortable with someone. No hard rules.
Good Luck
Cowboy | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:21:13 AM |
you ladies would definitely not invite a guy over after just one date, right?
For me, it all depends on how much chemistry we have. Would I invite a guy over on our first date? Not a chance, but depending on how much chemistry there is, and if we are still going strong I would invite him over later on. Later on could mean in about week, two weeks, and so on.
Personally, I would get turned off by any man trying to invite me over to his place on a first date. Guys have done this. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:33:27 AM | I am personally not as paranoid about someone knowing where I live - although I will admit that if I didn't live in a secure building, with my (very large) 20 year old son, I might be more cautious.
As for inviting someone into my home - it could be a day or two, or a month, depends on the situation. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:45:01 AM | i personally wouldnt invite a guy to come to mine unless we were going out or seeing each other, i wouldnt on the first date! i would find it a bit weird, unless they were picking me up for the date or something or if it went well after a few dates then yes. on the other way round i would prob go back to theirs if they invited me  x | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:49:10 AM | I've NEVER invited a man to my apartment on the first date...whether I met him online or off-site. I live alone, and when I moved to NYC about 12 years ago, I barely knew anyone, so it was a safety issue. Generally, we meet in a public place and no matter how well the first date went, I have never allowed a man to drive me home...what's great about NYC, you can just pop on the subway...24 hours a day!
I've had a few situations with men where I later decided not to go forward with developing a relationship after a first or 2nd date, and the men couldn't take no for an answer...so they would constantly call my mobile tel...so imagine what could have happened had I let them know where I live!
Every situation has been different...in some situations, I've waited until the 3rd or 4th date, which could easily be a month later depending on how often we saw each other. An ex-boyfriend who I met on another web site several years ago didn't know where I lived until about 6 weeks of us speaking on the phone a few days a week...throughout that time we probably went out on 4 dates...I actually ended up going to his place first...and guess what? Come to find out, we only lived 12 blocks from one another!
I think in the end, it depends on how you mutually feel...I am really upfront about this when I start chatting with a guy...although if a guy was determined to see where I lived on the first date, chances are I wouldn't go out with him in the first place, since it's not respecting my "comfort level." | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 7:08:02 AM | I had a date last week in which i was feeling no chemistry and the guy had so much baggage going on. Well he kept practically begging to come to my house. I said no. I'm glad I didn't. He seemed one of those types who can't take no for an answer. I've given out my phone number before only to be hounded after I realized nothing was there. I'd hate to think what would happen if they knew where I lived.
It's amazing how many people are not careful given things that have been happening. Even men have been robbed by women they met online. So everyone should be a bit careful. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 10:06:38 AM | | All depends on chemistry but as far as a first "date", probably not. For reasons that were mentioned, some people do not need to have addresses or personal information out in the open. The only reason I do not worry too much is my friends ALWAYS know if I am inviting anyone over and if they were to not hear from me, they would be here in a flash and it would not be pretty. It takes a LONG time for me to trust people anyway. Not that I have anything for anyone to take, I just do not want random strangers knowing where I live. I also have a lot of cops who live on my property so that is added assurance to a degree. :) | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 10:08:35 AM | The only person that should be suspicious to is the person that shares living quarters with her. This person is almost like family to her and she would be careful to bring anyone around someone that she considers as such.
I was dating someone for 3 months and he never got a foot through my front door. Nobody comes around my kids unless I know that this person is not "just passing through" and with that being said, both of my kids are big (one adult, one preteen, both males). I don't even bring up the subject of who I am dating with my folks who live miles from me in the next borough until I am sure the relationship is going to stick.
A date is a date and nothing more, unless there is chemistry. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:34:42 AM | | I would not invite someone to my home after only one date. I can't say exactly how long, it depends on my familiarity and comfort level with the person. I'll estimate at 5-6 dates or after a month of knowing the person. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:34:56 AM | | I have had this happen several times, guess I am just that easy to talk to, but will admit the first couple of times it felt strange to meet a woamn i had only talked to online or on the phone a bit, I personally suggest you check them out thouroughly and avoid meetin at your house till you are comfortable. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:49:58 AM | I've had MANY men ask me who I live with...and after replying that I live alone... INVITE THEMSELVES over to my house... I ABSOLUTELY DETEST THAT... needless to say, the e-mailing stopped as soon as I heard those words...
Why would ANYONE, men or women, INVITE THEMSELVES over to someone's house?
I invite ONLY FRIENDS to my house... NOT even acquaintances... and much less people I meet online...
This one particular guy, Italian, business owner according to his profile, asked to come over to my house on our FIRST e-mail!!! When I confronted him about it, he said it was merely a 'suggestion'...he thought it would be nice for us to take a walk on the beach...
What I hate is the fact that they make NO effort in ASKING A GIRL OUT on a date...It doesn't mean you have to spend money (or a lot of!) but come on... has this 'tradition' disappeared since the online dating thing came about?  | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:51:27 AM | It depends on the person and the situation. I've invited someone over as early as the first date (after going out first) and as long as a month later. Just depends.
I had a male roommate who WAS like a brother, we never did anything together, but the men I dated HATED the idea of me living with a man ... not everyone is a whore and sleeps with their friends or roommates of the opposite sex. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:53:00 AM | ^^^^^Oh I know what you mean.
Do you get the ''but aren't you lonely'' crap? No i'm not lonely I"m used to my solitude and appreciate coming home to a quiet house after being around 1500 Middle school kids all day.
Being alone doesn't constitute lonely nor a desire to invite strange men over. LOL. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 12:01:19 PM | Let me preface by saying that inviting over does NOT mean there will be any sex.
sometimes it happens where we feel really cool and want to sit outside without running a tab somewhere. But generally I try to stay away from doing that unless I feel the cameraderie is there.
Guys always make the excuse that they dont take "clues" well, but they seem to think that coming over is a big clue for something. If its going to happen, its because I say its gonna happen, not because its what you're thinking about.
There is no set number, but usually I like to see how long it takes for him to invite ME over to his place first. If its ages, or doesnt happen, then I know something fishy's going on and I dont want him here anyway. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 12:03:25 PM | Depends on the kind of day I was having. I have no problem inviting someone to my place first meet. Doesn't mean anything's going to happen or that we're even going to stay at my place.
And about roommates....I have one. And guy always ask "Male or female". I respond with "Has to be one or the other. Why does it matter" And they all say "I don't want to get in the middle of you and your roommate if it's a guy." Sorry, I don't sleep w/ my roommates....male or female. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 1:47:10 PM | do women here actually invite a complete stranger to their residence after a date or 2?????
some guy on a free dating website with no trace to his credit card? nothing...
not afraid of stalkers? knowing where they live. spying on them if things dont work out..
wasnt jeffrey dahmer a real charming womanizer??
please dont do this ladies.
hang it up and date the guys in real life that ask you out.
and keep hanging out here and see how many guys can put you on their favorites list...
so you can pick the best one in the end?? | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 1:49:32 PM | hang it up and date the guys in real life that ask you out
Yeah because guys you meet on the internet aren't psycho at all. 
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 4:17:54 PM | | This might help, you could skip inviting them to your home or them inviting to their home, if you have a neighbor your not so fond of, just go to their home. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 4:37:43 PM | She's banging that guy...
I love girls who give me the ol "this guy is my best friend and I love him to death" and they are both the same age.
If a girl said that to me AND that she was living with him, I wouldn't give her the time of day. | |
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| Inviting your date to your home
Posted: 8/6/2009 4:44:55 PM | Normally I wouldn't invite someone over on a first date, but did one time. We had a wonderful time at dinner and I had to get back to take care of my neighbor's animals. We had been talking, emailing and texting for about a week, and once I met him, felt completely comfortable.
We came back to my house, I took care of the neighbor's animals, and we sat on the back deck and talked for several hours. I never felt threatened.
Next date he came over with his tool box which I thought was very sweet. He saw some things he felt needed fixing in my apartment.
And that was almost 4 months ago and we're still seeing each other.  | |
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