| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 7:06:59 AM | Hey!
I had an interesting question, Why is wrong to date more than one woman at a time? And if its not wrong then how is this done? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
I have asked manny other people but gotten mixed responses. Which is why I post here. I wouldnt have added this bit at the end but the comp says my post has to be long so ok bye now. | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 7:36:46 AM | | If you're not properly involved with any of the people I think it's a sign of serious insecurity to have a problem with it. Dating is just checking people out. When it becomes more serious and/or intimate, then it's a whole different ballgame. | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 7:42:56 AM | 1. If you have not made it clear to someone that you are in a committed relationship, then there is nothing wrong with dating more than one person. However, you have to have good communication with them. It has been my experience that people will assume you're in a relationship after a time - without actually solidifying it through "the talk."
2. Be open and honest with them. I've dated more than one woman at a time, but I made it clear to them that they were not the only one I was seeing. When I started to get serious about someone I sat them down and told them how I felt and asked how she felt - then we talked about being whether or not we were ready for that next step. Sometimes we were and when that was the case, I called or met up with the other ladies I was dating and explained to them that I could no longer see them under the cloud of romance. Every single one of them was understanding and had no issues with it. Why? Because I was always honest and upfront from the start - so there were no surprises. We were just having a good time and enjoying each other's company.
There were times some of the women I met were not cool with me seeing other people - that's fine - nothing wrong with that. They went their way, I went mine. There were also times I was ready to commit and she wasn't. That's cool too. It hurt, but we continued to see other people until either A. we eventually got to that point where we could be exclusive, or B. we parted ways because the potential just wasn't there.
*Cliffnotes*
If you're not committed to someone - you can date around.
Be open and honest with ALL of them that are you in fact dating other people. If they can't handle it, they'll move on, if they're cool with it, you're good to go. | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 7:50:18 AM | I guess its cool if your not all shady about it.
If I met someone I really liked, I'd rather just get to know that one person instead of dating a whole bunch. But so far that hasn't worked out so well for me - lol
Just to add - I wouldn't recommened sleeping with all of them.... | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 8:17:10 AM | | It is absolutely NOT wrong. As long as you're up front and everyone knows there are no allusions of exclusivity, there's no problems. I think problems MAY start to occur when you begin having some feelings for one or more. ALWAYS be up front and problems will be minimized. | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 8:32:07 AM | The predicament you may find yourself in over time, is falling for one, or one falling for you. This WILL happen. I have some experience on both sides of this and I am of the opinion that it IS all good until emotions take over. At that point you may have to make a descision that will affect or hurt the others you have been seeing, and may result in losing all of your "dates".
This is not a sport for the timid. I agree whole heartedly with others who say it must be TOTALLY open and honest. That is the only way to do this.
Expect to be accused of being a serial dater, or a player, or any number of things from those who don't or never will get the idea that you are "just dating". Also expect to be shaken up a bit when you run into one of your "dates" out with another guy.
If you can be honest with yourself, and not jealous about your "dates" then it may be the way to go. No commitment, no emotions, no jealousy. But also, no real loving relationship.
If fun is all your after I say go for it, if you want more, then you may want to limit this approach.
Been there done that. (to varying degrees of success, but never to a real relationship)
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 9:56:15 AM | As far as *I* am concerned, there is nothing wrong with it.
However, there WILL BE some women who have a problem with it, and they will walk out in a huff. As others have said, be completely above-board about it and let HER decide if it's ok with HER, too.
I have to say, though, that there is this line that I will not cross. I will not kiss a guy if I am dating more than one. For me, that's my line. For others (like all the "Bachelors" on TV!), the line is elsewhere. That's why you need to keep communication open and honest--let the other person decide for herself, by giving her ALL the information. | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 10:11:11 AM | Never date more than 7 at the time. It gets confusing who is buying you drinks, making you dinners, doing your laundry or who's panties were left in the bathroom. So I do not recommend it. But you can put cheat cards on the bed board with their names so while having sex, you know exactly which name to repeat. Now, if they offer to support you, think first, does she make a ton of money? Is she going to then try to manipulate you into just sex and more sex. And be careful how you answer. Remember, you're not a piece of meat.
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 10:37:31 AM | .
Outmind, I Love the way your mind works! These should be listed out as "Warnings for Hot guys.'
Never date more than 7 at the time.
It gets confusing who is buying you drinks, making you dinners, doing your laundry or who's panties were left in the bathroom. So I do not recommend it.
But you can put cheat cards on the bed board with their names so while having sex, you know exactly which name to repeat.
Now, if they offer to support you, think first, does she make a ton of money?
Is she going to then try to manipulate you into just sex and more sex.
And be careful how you answer. Remember, you're not a piece of meat.
 
On Topic, I have no problem with a guy dating more than just me UNLESS we are considering getting intimate. I make it very clear I will not date/sleep with someone who is sleeping with anyone else. It's not just for the obvious health issues; I'm just wired to be exclusive as far as sex goes. If he's not fine with that, no harm, no foul, but his should let me know up front because when he says that it's "Thanks, but no thanks."
Namaste,
Ginny
 
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 10:54:35 AM |
Why is wrong to date more than one woman at a time?
It's not if you are being honest about it.
That being said I would never get to a point where I would be able to be sexual with someone that's dating others.
So if it's just dating you are after then go ahead but if you are wanting to have sex with multiple women then you really need to be honest about that for health and emotional reasons.
Your profile also says you are on here to meet Ms. Right.
Do you want to just date multiple women until you find one you want to be with or do you think you can sleep with a lot of women at one time and they will be alright with it?
That last scenario is highly unlikely.
Just be honest and upfront and you won't get your bunny boiled.
But you can put cheat cards on the bed board with their names so while having sex, you know exactly which name to repeat.
Post-Its on their foreheads is just so much simpler! | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:43:11 AM | | Well, are you just dating, or are you "dating"?. A lot of people seem to use "dating" as synonomous with "going steady". If you think you are just dating several women, and one or more of them are under the impression that you're going steady, that misunderstanding could lead to problems. | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:21:09 PM | I don't think seeing multiple people is a problem as long as you are honest about what you are doing. Once the relationship becomes more serious and you talk about exclusivity then obviously you need to break it off with your other dates.
How is it done? Ask multiple girls out, go on dates with the ones that accept. If a girl asks you if you are seeing anyone else, don't lie. Personally I hate dating multiple guys if i've had more that one date with them - It just feels wrong to me, but to each their own. | |
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| Playing the field
Posted: 8/6/2009 7:56:39 PM | I have to agree with those saying you should be upfront about it and honest, as this is what I would like in return but could hardly expect it otherwise. Generally a lady who continues dating other people whilst interested in continuing dates with me makes me concerned about her personal skills and attitudes towards men. Some women do abstractly consider themselves a trophy and a feller as hers, it's not a good relationship basis for me being so whimsical and transient and is what fellers call high maintenance.
Basically you're a high maintenance bloke. A bit girly for my tastes but whatever floats your boat mate. I'd say watch you don't step on somebody's toes but, strangely the world seems more full with tough as nails stalker ex-boyfriends in your chosen lifestyle than say, mine. Careful what you wish for. | |
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