| How to ask how the first "meet and greet" went
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:50:04 PM | | I thought I was good at reading people, but I have been SO WRONG about some people that I just don't trust my instincts anymore. Went out with a really nice guy today- did lunch- and at the end we said "bye" and I went my way and he went his. I liked him. Not jump into bed with him right now, liked him- but I liked him. I don't know how he felt about it. I know he wants to take things slow and he has a few women to go out with from POF since he's been away for a few months on a business trip- (really. in alaska.) So I am wondering how to word my text message to him- since that's what I'll probably do since we communicated like that most of the time he was gone. But what to say- "did you have a good time" or "did you think I was cute- like I thought you were cute?" I don't have a problem being the only one happy today- I don't mind telling him I want to see him again before he tells me he wants to see me again (or not) either way, it's ok- but I'd like to have an idea how he felt about it. How to ask? | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/8/2009 10:19:43 PM | Best text I ever got after a first meet (before I even got home)was:
I had a great time : ) Do it again?
It was simple, to the point, let me know she was still interested. My reply:
Me too. Definitely : )
Just keep it simple and to the point. Trying to be funny and cute if you're doing it by text might not come across that way to the receiver. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/8/2009 11:03:51 PM | did you have a good time
Absolutely not.
did you think I was cute- like I thought you were cute?
OMG no.
Say something like "I had a good time and would be up for seeing each other again if you are. If not, thanks for lunch and i wish you the best of luck!"
Something that shows interest but gives a nice, easy, not awkward out if he wants it. There is no need to ask specifics about the date. If he liked you he'll see you again, if not, he won't. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/8/2009 11:48:54 PM | | The questions you wrote were perfect since it's not what you ask but rather, it's that you did! The meer fact that you were brave enough to bring up those questions will show him that you are a person with a strong character... men like that! | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 12:34:30 AM |
Best text I ever got after a first meet (before I even got home)was:
I had a great time : ) Do it again?
I know I'm not a guy but I was going to say that if it were me I'd say something similar to this. I'd probably just text him and tell him thanks and that I had a great time. The do it again part is a good idea. Please DON'T ask him if he liked you, thought you were cute, or had a good time. Some guys might be ok with that but some definitely wouldn't. Would you find that attractive if a guy asked you that? | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:05:53 AM | You really don't need to text him to see if he enjoyed being with you, his actions will speak loudly (if he liked you) -he'll call you within a day or so. if he didn't -he'll blow you off.
Most of the time, i have received a call within a day from women saying they appreciated being taken out and wanted to go out again -this time her treat. (how could you resist an invitation like that).
A short text: "had fun, now its my turn" wouldn't hurt. -just dont sound too needy... | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:04:51 AM | Never leave yourself in Limbo. Always asks before the date ends if you like him: "Wanna do this again?"
The balls in his court now he has to sweat to make the next call. You can sit back and chill. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:26:48 AM |
at the end we said "bye" and I went my way and he went his.
Why?? I mean, we're all adults here. So, what's wrong with getting things out in the open BEFORE parting ways? That way there's no waiting & wondering. If you had a good time, then simply say so and ask him if he'd like to get together again. If you don't think that you were a match, then just say so: "I had a nice time, but I just don't think that we're a good match" - end of story.
For the life of me, I don't understand why people would part ways after a meet & greet without ANY indication of how the other person feels. Yet, it seems to be the norm around here... very confusing. People, grow up!
EDIT:
BTW, IMO texting someone about this type of thing is pretty weak. School kids text - adults TALK.
2nd EDIT:
BTW, IMO texting someone about this type of thing is pretty weak. School kids text - adults TALK.
Get with the times, old man :p
Nah, if a woman doesn't have the self-confidence to speak to me about something like this, then she's not the girl for me. Texting to pick up a loaf of bread on the way home - no problem. Texting about a potential future together - not good. Further, texting is like email. Too many things can be misconstrued. Why not just grow a pair and actually SPEAK to each other? Regardless, in my case this is a mute point - remember, I prefer to talk about this before we part ways. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:11:11 AM |
Why?? I mean, we're all adults here. So, what's wrong with getting things out in the open BEFORE parting ways? That way there's no waiting & wondering. If you had a good time, then simply say so and ask him if he'd like to get together again. If you don't think that you were a match, then just say so: "I had a nice time, but I just don't think that we're a good match" - end of story.
...in a perfect world this would make sense - but I've had girls tell me they wanted to meet again at the end of a date, only to change their minds later - maybe they just couldn't tell me the truth in person? | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:32:27 AM |
Why?? I mean, we're all adults here. So, what's wrong with getting things out in the open BEFORE parting ways? That way there's no waiting & wondering. If you had a good time, then simply say so and ask him if he'd like to get together again. If you don't think that you were a match, then just say so: "I had a nice time, but I just don't think that we're a good match" - end of story.
For the life of me, I don't understand why people would part ways after a meet & greet without ANY indication of how the other person feels. Yet, it seems to be the norm around here... very confusing. People, grow up!
I go back and forth on this. I feel that being up front is very very important, but maybe the very end of the date isn't the best time. Maybe let it marinate a day or even just a few hours. It just may not "feel" like the right time, you know. I've started to pay a lot of attention to my feelings, and if something doesn't feel just right, I hold my tongue a littel longer than I used to.
A good text may be "I really enjoyed our time! :) Again?". Keep it simple, short, light, to the point, and UNcomplicated. This can be done in the next day phone call too. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:40:45 AM | ''I know he wants to take things slow ''
Don't want to dampen you enthusiasm but to me sounds he's not too sure. Not a good sign and why should you text him, let him do the chasing a bit and when he does and asks you say or show in some way you like him too and that you enjoyed your time together and meet up again. Don't rely on texts too much, personally I rather see people in person.
vv just to point out as I read jester's post, I don't mean to ''play'' the guy, that is wrong imho. Its nice to give guys some option for him to be the Man though. :) | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:54:19 AM | | if your going to text him I agree with what rainman said 100%. If you like him and want to hang out again, let him know, but dont play cat and mouse and make him chase you. It seems woman like to make guys chase them, but I easily get annoyed by it. my own two cents. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:34:30 AM | | I'll second Jester. Chasing girls was fun in high school, but as an adult I lose interest real fast if a woman doesn't reciprocate with something that indicates her own interest. I would say you should text or email something simple to him that conveys "interested" but not "needy". Guys like to know where they stand, you want him to know he is not wasting his time if he decides to put more energy into getting to know you. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:57:33 AM | Why is he telling you he's got other women to see from PoF? That's not very tactful. It sounds like he's treating it as a job interview. Bit cold if you ask me. People may well have others they are thinking of seeing but they could be a bit tactful unless asked directly. They certainly shouldn't lie. In a way he's saying you're not top of his list and you should be top of someone's list. I think you probably showed him you liked him and if he doesn't respond by getting in touch again, then why bother with him?
I also agree with the poster above that meeting someone for the first time is a lot to take in. I suspect that most people, unless they are repelled, would want to mull it over for a couple of days to see how they feel deep down. | |
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| How to ask how the first meet and greet went
Posted: 8/9/2009 11:35:04 AM | It depends on if you want a text-focused friendship to grow and be a part of his "stable" of POF women or not. If he liked you, and wants more, he'll contact you. If his other fish are more interesting, he wont.
However, and this is important for you to know, IF you make it too easy for him, he wont pursue you. Men INSTINCTIVELY want to pursue and "win" over the woman he finds has inspired this reaction in them. The old "game" still exists and in spite of all the women's libcrap.. men are still the instinctual beings they've always been.
Next time you are out on a MeetNgreet date that goes well, at the end of the date before you part, make a casual contact, like your hand on his forearm, look into his eyes and with the sweetest, gentle & feminine voice you can muster say: "I REALLY had a good time, thank you" And then say goodbye. If he did too, he'll call you before you even get home! | |
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