| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:28:12 PM | As I've looked at the POF profiles, I've noticed a trend. Many women around my age (I'm 45 for a little while longer) are not growing up. Their profiles are all about partying and all of their pics were taken at bars. Their taste in entertainment (TV, movies, music) leads me to believe we'd have nothing to talk about. They are not women; they're girls.
I'm all for cutting loose and having a good time, but it seems there comes an age where you move from "age-appropriate" to "pathetic." I'm sure the same thing goes for boys/men as well, but I don't spend a lot of time looking at their profiles.
So is this a valid observation? If so, any ideas as to the root causes? I have a few opinions on the matter, but I'll let people chime in first. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:35:07 PM | There's a new acronym for them: TWITS.
Teenage Women In Their Thirties (ok, you're talking about women in their 40s, but it still applies).
It's based on women who still party - like to go to clubs, like to dress up, like to have fun...But what should they do? Be "fuddy-duddies"?
We can't win. I'm not a TWIT ..or even a TWIF...lol..but hey, I'm not going to knock those who like to party. I just wish I had the energy...lol.. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:42:40 PM |
We can't win. I'm not a TWIT ..or even a TWIF...lol..but hey, I'm not going to knock those who like to party. I just wish I had the energy...lol.. So VERY true. I spend my days in shirt and jeans but like to dress up once in awhile and have some fun. So I imagine the pictures most people post are of them having FUN! I'm not going to post one of me crocheting | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:45:28 PM | but it seems there comes an age where you move from "age-appropriate" to pathetic.
When a man is already in a relationship, yet on a dating site looking for female "friends" , he seems rather pathetic, too. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:46:00 PM | I like the acronym; it works well. I dont' want to sound like the old geezer who yells, "get off my lawn you punks." I'm glad they're going out and having a good time. Maybe it's the lack of imagination about how they're going about it. Much of what keeps me entertained now is not the same thing that kept me entertained when I was 18. I'd like to think my tastes have broadened somewhat.
Or maybe I'm just jealous and feel like I'm missing out on something. Hmmmm  | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:59:19 PM |
When a man is already in a relationship, yet on a dating site looking for female "friends" , he seems rather pathetic, too
This is rather non-contributory to the thread, don't you think? The question was if it was a valid point. I'll assume you think it is not. That's fine; the forum is to air ideas and opinions. I'm adult enough to know not all my ideas and opinions are winners.
I've had a POF account since 2005. It sat largely idle until recently. I discovered the forums and find I enjoy them.
For clarity's sake, I did edit my profile after reading your remark. It made sense to be perfectly clear about why I had the account. In my defense, it did say I was here for the forums before I edited it, it just still had all my other garbage thrown in as well. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:00:19 PM | Are you familiar with the song: My Generation (The who ) there's an Excerpt / Lyric in the song quote> Hope I die before I get old
I don't feel old there-fore why should I act it, you should never slow down it 's a proven fact that after retirement a large percentage of humans decline in health and spirit .
I am not going down with out a fight!
your as old as you look , and as young as you feel
age is mind over matter , if you don't mind ..it don't matter!
words to live by oh yeah... and I am definitely a girlee girl | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:23:18 PM | Is there an age limit on fun? Who decides what is appropriate and what isnt?
I am over 50 and there are times, when after a dinner out with the girls, we like to go to a club and dance. Not on the prowl, not with any intention, other than enjoy the music, dance and let off some steam. Personally, I dont think there is anything wrong with it. Most guys dont want to go out and dance at a club, although more are getting into ballroom and such, it is not the same thing. Getting down to a beat and letting it all go just feels free and exhilarating.
I dont hang out at night clubs, but I certainly dont feel they are off limits if on occassion, I want to get down with the girls. I'm not ready for the rocking chair on the porch yet. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:24:54 PM | I find in NA that society in general still sees women as girls. Both the male and female profiles talk about women and refer to them as girls. Women are encourage to stay girlie. What do many people expect when they think of women they are find of females never growing up. Women can still act their age without remaining teens and still have fun. There is middle ground between being a teen and being ancient.
Too bad more people aren't tied of the girl myth.
I expect to be disrespected for my opinion on this subject. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:38:00 PM | [I dont hang out at night clubs, but I certainly dont feel they are off limits if on occassion, I want to get down with the girls. I'm not ready for the rocking chair on the porch yet]
well said ... golfgirl | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:55:36 PM | Hmmm I say. How can you tell all the pics were taken "at bars?" If they are POF events does that make a difference than if the pics are taken "just out?" I think most women would prefer, if they're going to post pics, they be pics showing them at their best, which would be dressed up for a night out as opposed to coming home after work. 
I also think it depends on where you live. I was talking to a friend the other day about how where we live there are SO many singles in a very condensed area, compared to other places. Lots of singles events, the lifestyle is for 40 and over is booming. Not the lifestyle I really want but it's here in South Florida and expanding to the whole state lol. The way I see it, the whole state of Florida is like LA in California, and South Florida is just LA. Going out dancing and having fun is a choice - some make it a lifestyle, some do it only on occasion, and some never do it.
I really don't get the girl/woman thing although I'll agree there are many older women here acting like girls. But to me, that isn't dancing and "getting down" once in a while, that's just having fun, so I agree with golfgirl, why stop having fun? There's a difference between once in a while and all the time. I was just also telling another friend I appreciate going out much more when I do it less. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:09:55 PM | O/P -you can have all the boring ladies 
-i'd still take the wild ones who can go from zero to skinny dipping at a moments notice!!!      
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:25:20 PM | As I've looked at the POF profiles, I've noticed a trend. Many women around my age (I'm 45 for a little while longer) are not growing up. Their profiles are all about partying and all of their pics were taken at bars. Their taste in entertainment (TV, movies, music) leads me to believe we'd have nothing to talk about. They are not women; they're girls.
This is true for both genders, In fairness, I think a lot of the pics are of their post-divorce party. 
Seriously, some people go thru an emotional surge of freedom after they divorce, roll out the party wagon, and get it out of their system. Some don't know when to stop.
Others may simply be very social and it may give the appearance that they party a lot. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:35:41 PM | Obviously I'm either completely out in left field on this or I did not express myself clearly. As I said, I'm all for cutting loose and having a good time. Just not every weekend (or several times a week).
Anyway, I can see how this thread could have been better thought-out. I'm still convinced there's a trend here, I just didn't articulate it well. Live and learn. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:49:15 PM | I guess it's true what Cyndi Lauper sang, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and why can't women be girls too? Most of the men they meet are still boys. 
I wonder what you believe a "woman" should act like or be like. When I was married and had a young child I never went out at all dancing or "getting down." I was very traditional stay-at-home with my husband and child. Things changed after divorce and not right away until I became more comfortable socializing, which was totally new after being married for 10 years. I partied a lot BEFORE I got married, but after getting divorced and having a child you are not the same. Of course, I can only speak for myself. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:49:53 PM |
Girls who should be women
Not real sure if I want someone telling me I "should be" one way or another!
I'm way too 'old' for that, ya know? So are these women in their 40's.
I think those women "should be" doing whatever it is they want to be doing.
Now, I kinda think you're wanting to see a trend.
Picking up on one aspect... out of hundreds.
There are MANY " in their 40's" profiles on here.
You're noticing the party-time pictures/words and thinking it's a 'trend'.
Out of the pictures you noticed.. I'm sure quite a few are just them trying to show they do get out now and then, not just sittin' home at the computer.
And various other explainations.
Like they picked the photo from the last party.. maybe a couple months ago.. rather than one of them cooking dinner or babysitting grandkids. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:11:12 PM | Well I rarely look at women's profiles so but I seriously doubt that the majority of the over 45 crowd goes out every weekend and through the week partying. I go out many weekends. I don't drink but I enjoy spending time with my friends, listening to music, dining out and dancing.
There are a few places where we can go to find people in our age group but not many. Not damn near enough, I can tell you that.  | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:31:06 PM | OP, no offense, but perhaps what draws the eye is what is noticed?
mind you i don't really look at a lot of women's profiles, but do on occasion because i'm interested in their forum posts, etc.
it may well be a trend, as you say, but i don't find a lot of partying pictures in the men's profiles i read, either... dunno.
JMO | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:15:11 PM | Yes it is valid but not neccessarily gender specific. However I do think that the times have had a diminishing effect to this.
I think that maybe they missed out some how and feel like they lost something.
It could be that they are trying desparatly to hang on to their youth and feel that they need to be in the scene.
I assure you though this is the fastest way to lose your youth.
Mostly I think it is due to a lack of imagination there are many things you can do to be with people that don't involve partying everynight.
I think that a lot of people watch tv shows portraying women partying all the time like "Sex in the City", and think that it's going to be like tv but real life is a far cry. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:51:25 PM | 85032Luck - hahahaha...I like how you think. You want to go diping.. you just let me know when and where!
Life is for LIVING folks.
Now I am not one to hang at the bars...nope.... but this ol' sorority girl still knows how to chug a beer and can dance badly to just about any song. Hahahahaha. Who-ho | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:13:22 PM | | i am not going to sick back in my rocking chair. I am carefree and going to enjoy my life. I don't care if i don't look or act or dress my age!!! I hate it when people think once a woman hits 30 yrs old she is supposed to cut her hair short. I am going to be my self and continue to be sexy . Just because i am in my mid 40s does not mean i have to die and act like an old lady. I do not care what others think of me! I am happy being me! | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:57:44 PM | I'm all for cutting loose and having a good time, but it seems there comes an age where you move from "age-appropriate" to "pathetic."
Geez OP...at only 45 you're a bit of an old sour puss.
I don't hang out in bars or clubs trying to pretend I'm still 20 or 30, but I do tend to still have alot of "girl" left in me!
Ummm.....I'm climbing a tree in my profile picture....and I'm 51 so I guess that makes me real "pathetic" according to you.  | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:06:13 AM | There is an aspect of being "stuck" in ones glory days. Outward appearances change ( the body ages) but the inner child or whatever it is still runs the show.
I see plenty of men and women who look like old hippies. It was "the time of their lives" | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:00:30 AM | If so, any ideas as to the root causes?
the root cause is that they're stupid, they're looking for a date, they think acting stupid is the best way to get one, and that's the best they've got to offer, so that's what they do.
next question. | |
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| Girls who should be women
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:12:53 AM | been there than that...... then i stopped clicking on the pictures with the most cleavage. to my amazement the women seemed to be totally different in their writing....
g$d! it is hard finding a virgin in a cat house! | |
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