| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:28:34 PM | Have you ever had an ex who cheated on you, broke up with you, still calls you from time to time, and maintains communication? On top of that, they are getting married with that guy.
First of all, I know some of you might say that you are still friends with your ex, or there an ex for a reason. Isn't kind of weird considering that they're getting married and still calling you? It shows some signs that they're still interested in you? Trying to found out what's going on with your life. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:37:05 PM | On top of that, they are getting married with that guy.
Oh Charlie - didnt she just meet this guy- she is a freaking train wreck.
NO CONTACT - didnt we discuss this on your other thread???
It shows some signs that they're still interested in you?
Interested in you - NO. She enjoys hitting your balls with the two by four
you give her every time you pick up that phone.
Your not going to learn until she totally destoys you - goes back with you
and cheats the crap out of you.
She is a loser. She is a narcissistic, sadistic "c" word.
She is just doing this crap to get a rise out of you - and she is.
Charlie- you want a life of your own? You want to meet someone who
appreciates you? - NO CONTACT. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:40:40 PM | | You are allowing this girl to treat you like trash. You don't have to be a punching bag, how about...not picking up the calls maybe? Some people just want to have others that they can walk all over to make themselves feel good. That's what she's doing to you. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:49:16 PM | OP,
Let me get this straight, she cheats on you and breaks up with you and still attempt to contact you and your pondering this? Come On........I think this is a no brainer. I wouldn't give her the time or the day. She made her choice, you need to move on with your life, she can't can't have her cake and eat it too.
Disclaimer: Other than my ex-wife, whom was my high school sweetheart and have contact a few times a year.....I don't talk to nor desire to talk to my ex g/f. As you stated there an ex for a reason. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:55:06 PM | i wouldnt say it was so much the fact she was still interested in you,otherwise she wouldnt be marrying someone else
i'd say it was the fact she either wants you there to fall back on in the future if it doesnt work out or she just wants to play games with you
either way your better off having no contact with her
she has found someone,allow yourself to do the same | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:03:02 PM | You are obviously not over her. What if she is still interested? Do you want her back? In order for that to happen she would have to leave the guy she cheated with you on. That's some kind of track record.
Tell her to do you a favor and not contact you anymore. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:09:24 PM | Could be many reasons behind the contact but expect that if she cares for you it would be the last reason. As you said she is calling you but with another guy in a clearly committed relationship, so there is no reason to call you, esp if things ended badly. She could be trying to alleviate her guilt.If you talk to her she will feel like she is not in the wrong, so don't talk to her because she is. She could be calling every time they fight, you would not stand for that when you two were together, so why take it now? She could also be calling because ( I have no idea why cheaters do this) she can not stand the though of you with another woman and happy, misery loves company ya know. If you want her to either go away or suffer a little for what she did you can do what I did. People might say its a game but hey its all fair if she played with your heart.
Do not pick up every time she calls, no matter what. Its your turn for control now. When you do pick up keep it short and sweet. If she ask how you are, make sure you tell her your good( ( always be vague), even on your bad days and purposely DO NOT ask how she is. If there are silent periods then so be it. Always limit the time on talks, never let it feel rushed but never give her the luxury of being able to pick your brain ( I, myself kept it at 5 minutes a chat).Do the same thing in text if she tries that approach as well. You can improvise on the rest as needed like I did. The object is not to be cold or particularly nasty but to give you some measure of control over any interaction. She is calling like this because she feels she can not be stopped (like a child who does something repeatedly wrong only because they have never been corrected). I am not worried about correcting her actually , but I would like you to see things as they are and give your time to women who wont disrespect you.
I did this and it stopped a lot of those calls and text messages when I knew for a fact she was with someone else. Even after they broke up, she tried again, and I kept up the same act.My feeling is that while it is true that sometimes people have to screw up to realize what they have, it leaves the wronged party in a potential position to think thats ok. You ever see those couples where one partner habitually cheats and swears they have changed and its keep repeating over and over again? It's a train wreck. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:20:14 PM | I know you guys are trying to help me cope with my broken heart. I appreciate everyone for that. I am just trying to get different views about things. I didn't want to give an update because I know people are going to bash me for it.
I am going to tell you truth. I picked up her calls twice since the last time I wrote the previous thread under Broken Hearts.
On friday, she called me around 4 am. She told me she was drunk. The conversation started out ok until she snapped when I told her that she cheated on me when she bought up his name. I told her he's probably cheating too. She told me that he was at a club and it was unfair for her. However, she didn't care he was there. In my mind, when she was with me, she used to care where I went and with who. He's a club promoter and was waiting for him to get out of work at 6 am. Then later in the conversation, she says that he is there next to her. I said to myself, "If he's there, then why are talking so loud and why is he allowing you to talk to me." She used tell me that the club scene was over for her. Me, on the other hand...I am not a club person.
Anyways, when she snapped, she was telling me that I was an ***hole and my mom was a slut and my dad was a jerk. Also I didn't treat her right. She regretted me and that she used me. She said that she stopped loving me before she moved into my house back in December. I mean, she was totally drunk and was disrespecting me. Five hours later when she was sober, she called me and apologized to me. I kind of knew a head of time that she didn't mean it.
Saturday she didn't call me. Today she did while I was working around 4:20 am. She wanted to know how I was feeling. She was telling me that she's excited because he is buying her a Nintendo Wii and new clothes. She was telling me that she lost weight.
I told her if I still have a chance with you and she said no. I told her why and she replied with "because he loves me." After that, she told me about the engagement ring he bought her and it was pretty....blah blah blah...
I asked myself, "You are with him because he loves you. What about you?"
She changed as a person. The person that I knew used to tell me that material stuff is just temporary. Nothing can substitute real love from the heart.
Later in the day, my dad and his brother who came to Orlando to drop off my furniture, left to Miami. When I said good bye to my dad and my uncle, I cried in my half-empty apartment, just looking around in despair and putting myself down.
I am new to Orlando. I just need to make friends and get to know the place.
I know, I know, I know......I am pathetic.... | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:26:31 PM | You're right, City Nytelytes....
I am going to put my phone on silent for now on...I need my sleep at night because I start work at 4 am. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:29:50 PM | | I have no contact with my exes and don't wish to. They're exes for a reason and the ties were cut when the relationships ended. I live in the present and future, not the past. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:29:53 PM | Nothing wrong with maintaing a friendship with an 'ex'. Sure they are an 'ex' for a reason but doesn't mean it's a bad one!! I hold zero resentment or ill feelings for any of my ex's including the one's who did cheat. I don't think any hold any resentments towards me either. There isn't one of them I couldn't call up today and say hi to but would I = NO....lmao. But the point is I could. Just because we didn't make it till death do us part doesn't mean they are bad people or that I am. Hell we choose eachother to begin with so that ought to say something!!
Bottom line, life is life live and learn and appreciate the learning experiences rather then hold onto bitterness, after all learning through certain people is what it's all about. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:31:04 PM |
I know, I know, I know......I am pathetic....
No your not. Your a man with a very broken heart who thought things
would be different - who made life plans with a woman he loved and trusted.
I did the same thing recently and I am sitting in an empty apartment too.
Believe me - alot of us feel your pain and we want to help you. We see
what she is doing to you.
The only way you are going to heal is to reach as deep down as you can
and CUT CONTACT WITH HER. I know its going to KILL you - but only
for a little while. As the days go by it will get easier and easier and soon
you will not even think about it.
I suggest since you are new to the area you start to explore it- get out, see things
near you. Even if its just to have dinner or a drink somewhere by yourself- get
out and see your suroundings and what is out there near you.
You have to cut contact - she is toxic to you and you are letting her take
you on this ride- its time for you to get off. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:36:08 PM | | She is using you like a human kleenex. If she loved you, you would not be here crying to us about what she did, think about it, seriously think about it.The problem is that your emotionally connected to someone that is not emotionally connected to you. Someone used the word "narcissist" in regards to her, look it up if you do not know what that means, maybe that will help clear your head. She changed, yeah so what, we all do. For example, extreme example but I want you to get this.If your loving family pet started to foam out of its mouth and went for your throat would you let it ? Temper yourself because relationships will come and go until you meet the right one, imagine that the right woman is waiting for you somewhere out there, but you might never see her or she may never see you only because you spent too much time at point A or gave up at point A. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:42:16 PM | Charlie, im convince you like the attention and the misery, lots of posters in your other thread like that curlygrl just to name a few gave you some excellent advice and youre just wasting people's time, it reminds me a story I heard once
Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him and the woman said "No!"after she cheated on him several times.
The man then began riding his motorcycle, going hunting and fishing, playing golf and baseball, drinking lots of beer and whiskey, hanging out with his friends, saving his money, leaving the toilet seat up, farting whenever he wanted and lived happily ever after. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:42:21 PM | Ummmm....does an ex wife count? 
yeh, I've had that experience, except, I was the one who did the break part of it and got the Big D .
Any 'communication' is not really that, it is more like occasional harassment..hahaha
Nah, she isn't interested in 'you' in a good way dude.
She's just fcukin' with your head.....because she can!
Balls in your court....when you stop answering phone calls and emails, the magical thinking will cease, and you'll be able to start piecing yourself back together again.
You should send a nice 'Thank You' hallmark card to the new dude.
Better yet, go find him, shake his hand , like a man, and thank him for cleanin' up your freaking mess for ya.
You'll be OK.
regards
KimBo  | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:43:50 PM | | The day that anyone bashes my dad or my mother is the day that no further contact would be made I would change my numbers get a restraining order and everything else. Esp with this psychotic chick when are you going to realize she is just using you. She knows exactly which buttons to push then calls and says she's sorry. I don't care how sorry the person is no contact period. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:45:17 PM | The best pill for what ails you is a new girlfriend.
Go get one. Do what Curly said and go socialize. Make some friends in that new place of yours. We'll be rootin for you. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:45:58 PM | Dude, I'd just wish her the best of luck and tell her to lose your number. Be done with it.
I have an ex who cheated on me more times than I can count and he STILL messages me every once in a while to whine and complain and apologize and to fish to see if anything is still there. I blow him off and tell him point blank no, there's nothing there and you made you bed.. lay in it.
It's just an ego thing. don't buy into it. She made her bed... let her lay in it. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:46:04 PM | | If she is actually speaking to you, then you are being way too nice to her. Tell her that she is a worthless slut, and ask her why the f uck she thinks you would want to talk to her. Then swear at her some more and hang up on her. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:00:21 PM | Charlie, she likes to see you squirm.
Once you stop talking to her you will be able to move on a little faster.
She's not interested in the way you think or perhaps want.
Stop talking to her....k?
It's better for your sanity.
Why put yourself through that? | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:21:18 PM | | Ex?! nope, all bridges are cut and burned the moment is it over, the page turned and the book closed forever. | |
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| Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:30:44 PM |
Anyways, when she snapped, she was telling me that I was an ***hole and my mom was a slut and my dad was a jerk
You know, all that "I am not over her" yadi yada can be tolerated...but the above....THE END. THAT IS WHERE SHE CEASES TO EXIST I.E> SHE NEVER EVER EVER EXISTED.
If you even THINK of this girl after the above -boy please. Don't. | |
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