| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:21:41 PM | I've never said it to anyone, but I think I'm there with my bf. When's a good time to say it? And what if he's not there yet, (ie he's not ready to say it back), will it kill the relationship?
We've been dating off and on for just over a year.
Any advice ? | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:28:45 PM | For me, I let the guy say it first. The last time I said it first, we had dated two months, and we were having sex for the first time. We lasted nearly a year, and luckily he felt the same way. We had fallen fast and hard.
Guess when the time is right you know it. But love can be one sided at times. I don't say it unless I have a pretty good idea the other person feels the same way. | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:35:31 PM | I know this sounds corny but I have said this twice (and meant it)
*The first one was said with a glass of wine securely in my hand for insurance purposes - you can always backtrack and blame it on the a-lkohol hahaha! Luckily for me he looked deep into my eyes and said "I love you too". It was heavenly.
*Second time I said it while we were having sex ......after that he asked me if I had meant it and I said yes and he smiled. It took him about 2 months to say it to me. | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:41:23 PM | | hahaha, awww ur cute. I feel it the most while we're having sex, but I dont want to say it then bc I dont want him to think thats the only reason I'm saying it (if that makes sense). | |
|
| |
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:55:40 PM | You can try setting the mood and see if it takes you there. Definately pick your time and place. Then use some leading comments first. Such as after a nice kiss "that was so nice.... you know I have a lot of feelings for you. How do you feel?" You didn't say I love you, but depending on his response you will have a better idea.
To answer your question about could it have repercussions. It could. If he's not on that same page it might be an issue. | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:15:45 PM | Just set him down and say look... my feelings for you have grown considerably since we met and they run strong and deep. On many occasions I've wanted to say those 3 words to you but not sure how you'd react. So here it is. I love you.
He'll either stutter and spit his drink everywhere or smile, kiss you, and tell you he loves you too. | |
|
| |
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:24:33 PM | "I think I am there" that is the answer. You just think you are. Until you know you are in love with him I wouldn't say those very powerful words.
I would however, discuss the fact that you are finding yourself having very good feelings for him that might could turn into love...and ask him what he thinks about the possibility you two may feel the same way.
He will tell you the truth. When a guy truly cares for a girl he does not want to play games with hs heart.
OP some of the biggest players I know keep their hearts under lock and key because they were once hurt really bad by the woman they loved. Be sure...that is my only suggestion. | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:40:47 PM | | If you are there, as you say, then why not change your profile to reflect your feelings? How can you be ready to "love" someone yet still claim you're single and looking for dating? Don't say it untill you know you're ready to commit completely. Thinking you are in "love" and actually being in "love are two totally different things. | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/10/2009 1:57:56 AM | I have only been in love once, so guess you just have to take a chance. You usually know when your SO has feelings for you.  | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/10/2009 3:32:09 AM | It wont kill the relationship, but if your worried he doesnt feel the same and leaves then do you really want to be with a man that long and have no love from him?
My last boyfriend told me he loved me, and at that point I didnt love him, but we was going good, I just told him I like him but I dont feel that just yet. He respected that and a month or so later I told him I loved him, out the blue, because I knew then I did. We lasted 5 years and still admit we love each other (its only been a week since we split)....
I think your mood needs to be set, something romantic and appropriate where it will be taken seriously. Maybe cuddled up on the sofa one evening, turn to him, kiss him and say it. Its not really hard, if your together and feel it you should express it.
I think if your too scared to tell the one you love that you love them then theres something amiss between you. | |
|
| |
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:54:15 PM | | It seems quick but I knew my guy for almost 2 months when I first said it. It was a few weeks later before he said it because he had women in the past say it and not mean it and he wanted to be sure he knew I was being genuine. | |
|
| |
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:02:28 PM | | Any time I've said it before the guy it went badly. I'd wait, drop hints like I love it when you do this or I love the way (then quote something he does). I'll never say it first again. lessons learned here. | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:03:37 PM | My advice - don't say it.
I know I know you really want to. But don't.
Women show it. And men feel it.
But allow him to say it first.
Otherwise? It will mess up what for now and for you? Feels good. So don't take that step.
Sorry but I have to go with my gut on this one. | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:03:52 PM | begin by changing your profile, from single status, looking to date. otherwise he'll be posting here about his gf who says she loves him, but she's on a dating site looking and declaring herself single.
second...say it when you feel it. its your feelings, why not share? it won't end the world. if it does...what does that tell you? | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:16:22 PM | ok my advice for saying it the first time....
1) never right before, during, or right after sex. (BIG NO!!!)
2) not in text, email, or phone. (NOT the first time at least... to impersonal)
3) Say it when you feel it the strongest, (But don't forget the abvoe first 2 rules)
When I told my bf for the first time, it was about a week after he let it slip over the phone, he never took it back but did admit that he said but claimed that he wasn't sure why. When I told him a week later, I had been biting my tongue about it for almost a month, he said "just remember I said it first". We did last for quite along time. and broke up because we let family interfere.
Honestly, if you really feel that strong about him, tell him. Life can sometimes throw you a curveball and you might not get the chance if you wait to long. Just bite the bullet.
Best of luck | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:22:55 PM | As many of you know, my boyfriend and I dated, then took a break, then got back together again at the beginning of the year. Our feelings for one another were very intense when we reconnected and after about a month, my feelings were just overhelming me, and we were on our way for an evening out, and had been talking, and I said, 'I don't know if you feel this way about me yet, but I just have to tell you how I feel. I love you. You don't have to say anything back. You don't have to say anything at all. I just want to tell you that you have my heart, and I love you with all of it".
He looked at me and smiled, and said 'Thank you'. From time to time,aftewards, when he was leaving to go home, or we were getting ready to hang up the phone, I would say 'I love you'. He always would say,'I know' or Thank you, baby'.
Then one day, he looked me in the eyes and said it. My heart melted.
Now, he says it first, sometimes, and sometimes I say it first. But I always know he means it when he says it. And I certainly do, with all of my heart.
It's funny. Since he's gotten used to saying it to me, he now says it to his mom beore he hangs up the phone, his step-mpm, his sister...I told him how in my family we always say 'I love you' as the last thing we say to someone whenever we speak, because you never know if that's going to be the last time you talk to them, ever, and 'I love you' should be the last thing they hear from you. It has always been an important thing in our family, and I love the fact that he does it now too.
Beth | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:27:46 PM | Yeap, say it anyway, if U feel it, then saying it shouldnt be against the rulez. :D Good luck, so much of life seems to be fear based. And fear sux, so tell him and then regardless of what the guy says. Look at hiz actions, if he does "luv" U, then it''ll be reflected in hiz actions, not words. Just an opinion.
Yay, just got out of the pokey today !!!!!! F@@k da police !!!!! | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:13:35 PM | Its something that should never be planned! Don't plan love. It will end in a mess. Let it just happen. And if it happens in bed or on a dinner date...say it...plus you know boys...never wanting to take that step... he's thinking the same thing. Good luck | |
|
| |
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:38:50 PM | at some point when the 2 of you are being intamte. cuddling on the couch being all lovey dovey. just say it
probably the best time. say it alone when the 2 of you are cuddling and being passionate or whatever | |
|
| Saying I love you for the first time
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:50:34 PM | You: Um, look. Sorry, sorry. I just, um, well, this is a very stupid question and... , particularly in view of our recent shopping excursion, but I just wondered, by any chance, um, uh, I mean obviously not because I guess I've only slept with 9 people, but-but I-I just wondered... uhh. I really feel, uhh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, uh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, uh, while he was still with the Partridge Family, uh, "I think I love you," and uh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn't like to... uh... uh... No, no, no of course not... I'm an idiot, he's not... Excellent, excellent, fantastic, uh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb... Better get on...
Your guy: That was very romantic.
You: Well, I thought it over a lot, you know... I wanted to get it just right.
And that's how you roll. Next. | |
|
Home
login 
