| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:28:27 AM | Have met a guy online, we were chatting for a few weeks before we met. We have been on 3 dates and 4th is planned, we have also made plans for October. Last Saturday was our 3rd date and we spent 9 hours togethers, only 2 hrs of those was in the cinema not chatting. The other times we have met about 4 hours each and we were chatting non stop.
After our third date, he called me beautiful via text and and have said it a few times since then via text and chatting online. Just wondering how to respond to this? I just say thanks. Was a bit shocked at this, as no-one has ever said this to me before. He already lent me CDS to listen to. We haven't kissed on lips yet or held hands but we have kissed on cheek and had 2 long hugs as I was leaving Sat, he also blew me a kiss good bye. I think that he is interested in me, but am just wondering if we are exclusive or are still dating (neither of us are seeing anyone else). I really like this guy and I think he likes me, his housemates and his parents want to meet me and my parents want to meet him too. I know its early days. Theres so much I still want to find out about him and to spend time with him.
Any advice is appreciated?
Thanks
Cariad | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:54:37 AM | OP, I would take his compliments graciously, but keep doing what you're doing...get to know him...and see if his kind words match his actions.
I was recently getting to know a guy. He was attractive, and we had many things in common. I was enjoying every minute of us getting to know each other. He gave me several nice compliments and even said "I want to take my time with you, I think you're very sweet/kindhearted and attractive...I don't want to lose you.". I was totally speachless and touched when he said this...but guess what? He did the disappearing act the following week! (No, there was no sex involved)
Give it time...enjoy getting to know him and let him get to know you...but if he's really sincere, his actions will match his words...
Good luck! | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:06:12 AM | Op you sound like you're very surprised, maybe even stunned that a man would refer to you as beautiful.
Why is that? Do you have such low self esteem that you can't imagine you would appear to be beautiful to someone else?
And if so, is it justified? Do you really have some way of knowing for sure that you're very unattractive? I checked your profile, but alas, no pictures posted. Which may say something about your own self esteem right there...
If not justified, then it's a problem in your own head and you can simply respond with "Thank you very much, you're very sweet".
If you know for an absolute fact that you're ugly, then respond with "Perhaps you should have your eyes examined", and recommend a competent eye doctor. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:12:41 AM |
I just say thanks.
That's appropriate and polite both. If you're wondering if you should return the compliment in some fashion, it'd be nice, but it is not necessary. IMO one should only do this if it is genuinely spontaneous.
Looks like it's going well so far! There's no need to set status formally yet. Seems likely he'll bring it up pretty soon anyway.
Glad to see you're having such a good time together. The Good News Department shows up all too rarely! Hope that continues. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:31:18 AM | Idoc_ Steve. - Have never really considered myself beautiful, ok but not beautiful. No one has ever said it to me before and when you have good looking friends who were always surronded by guys and being chatted up, while Im left out. I know I have low self esteem I have good days and bad days, like most women.
It was nice to hear if from someone as I thought I would never hear it from anyone. All the guys Ive dated in the past were friends first and they never said anything to me.
To all other posters, thanks for the advice. I want to take it slowly and he seems a really gentleman, holds doors open for me, asks me if im too hot/cold etc. Its nice for a change.
Sexykg74- I sorry to hear what happened to you. I am going to take it slowly and see what happens. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:34:52 AM | It took me a while, but I finally figured it out.
If someone compliments you...you thank them.
You don't have to compliment them back, you
don't have to argue whether or not the compliment
was worthy...and you definitely don't have to throw
it back.
Learning to accept compliments is sometimes almost
as hard as learning to accept yourself...but its doable. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:39:15 AM | OP...I don't really see what the problem is...he obviously appears to like you...and let me tell you, I think that beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder - people can become much more (or less) physically attractive when you get to know them. You just start to see the whole person.
If someone calls me beautiful, I (being the saucy minx I am) usually say - I KNOW! Isn't it amazing???
Of course, I've also been known to say thank you. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:45:39 AM |
we were chatting for a few weeks before we met
That's a long time, if you two live close nearby. You got a lot established there at that point already.
We have been on 3 dates and 4th is planned, we have also made plans for October.
Okay, you two, at this point, should very well be past the getting-to-know-you phase... and should be in the getting-to-know-how-you-date phase...
he called me beautiful via text and and have said it a few times since then via text and chatting online
Are you serious? After ALL that time has elapsed getting to know each other, he called you beautiful? News flash -- not that big of a deal. It's just a compliment.
Theres so much I still want to find out about him and to spend time with him.
Good god, you dragged things out for a good long time chatting online before you even met. Then you go out on several dates and have things planned... there shouldn't be a list of things eager to "find out about him". You should have a basic feel for him.
If you haven't kissed, no, you're not OFFICIALLY exclusive. If you're that shy about guys, then you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't be super shy to do anything non-platonic, yet, at the same time, expect to be considered "dating". You're not dating. You're suspended in the mode where every date is like the first date. Snap out of it! | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:24:47 AM | Confident-realist, i think you were a little harsh.
We were chatting for a few weeks, as we has conflicting work commitments and other things, plus I like to get to know someone to see if we have anything in common before meeting people willy nilly.
Been told I am beautiful was a big deal to me, maybe not to you, we are not all as confident as you. No one had said it to me before, so it was and still is a big deal. I am not shy around guys, I like to be friends first and get to know someone before anything major happens.
I suppose your one of those guys who believes in the third date rule? Just because you like to fast forward a relationship to the 'interesting parts' doesn't mean everyone does.
Plus, I am not dragging out the first date, how can you know everything about someone within a few weeks, there is still loads we haven't chatted about it.
I do have 'a basic feel for him' as you put it, and I do like him, which is why I want to go out with him more and find out more about him. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 1:23:55 PM |
Been told I am beautiful was a big deal to me, maybe not to you, we are not all as confident as you. No one had said it to me before, so it was and still is a big deal. Well, I know where you are coming from with this. First times are a big deal. The first time someone notices you. Especially if no-one noticed you until your early 20s. Then you've gone a long time with all the other girls around you being noticed and had plenty of time to deduce that you aren't the type that gets noticed at all...
It's inevitable that his words and gestures are going to have a huge impact upon you, compared with how lightly other girls might take it all. It's not easy, but do try not to get too overwhelmed: you don't know exactly what is in his head when he says and does these things and you'll need to get to know him better to find out. Some men just tell girls they are beautiful because they think it's what they're supposed to do, some say it because they like the way it makes the girl react, some say it because they think all girls are beautiful and beautiful isn't a special remark to them at all and for others, yes, it means something.
Take your time. Take care to know what your heart longs to hear and take account of that when you think about what is happening: people have a tendency to believe what they want to believe and create fantasy worlds for themselves until they are rudely awakened. Knowing what you want to believe will give you some measure of protection against self-deceit.
And finally, don't credit him with amazing qualities of wonderful-ness just because he likes you and told you so. It's easily done: so try not to trip on that one. Trust yourself -- you will get confused and you will probably make mistakes too, but it's okay and I highly doubt this bloke will be the last who sees that you are beautiful and tells you so. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 4:58:22 PM |
After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Say Thank you ?
What were you all confused because he didn't say "Hey baby fine a.ss ya got there?"
And people complain that gentlemen are extinct. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:31:13 PM | | Once, during sex, I told my girlfriend at the time that she was beautiful. She sort of stammered and replied "you're very complimentary". While this wasn't exactly what I expected I did think it was hilarious. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:19:31 AM | | Whenever I said that to my ex-wife she's reply with "what do you want?" But it was a running joke, at least until near the end. OP, same advice that's already been given, say thanks and bask in it! I don't get why everything in life has to be so hard. | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:23:34 AM | Whenever a man says you're beautiful, they are up to something. So go get yourself a toaster and next time he says that hit him over the head.
Either that or simply say "thank you" or try "You mean it?" | |
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| After 3 dates he called me beautiful, what do I say back?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:49:02 AM | I had a "meet" recently (Monday). I told her she was beautiful. And she really IS.
Granted, We had been chatting for a while and get along great. Then when I saw her in person that compliment had to come out.
I had no idea it could be so confusing to some people, OP.
How could such a simple thing like a compliment be worth a thread?
WTF? | |
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