| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/11/2009 1:09:37 PM | | The man or the woman? Does it just depend on the situation? I recently stopped communicating with this guy who turned out to not be the kind of person he said he was... long story... but anyway I wrote a final message to him and we stopped talking for a few days. Then suddenly I get this very insulting message, just out of the blue and very below-the-belt. It seemed to me that he was still very bitter, but he'd gone too far. I shot him a reply which he deleted w/out reading (very childish, I thought--despite the fact that he's older by two years and does well academically), so I sent him a rather cruel but justified response using the subject lines of several emails, so he'd be forced to read it. Then today he went about as low as you can go in his follow-up message and blocked me. I just can't believe this guy. I can just sense his extreme bitterness and I'm wondering if this is somewhat typical of boys his age. | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/11/2009 1:30:55 PM | Who gets over the breakup doesn't depend on the gender but more on who is more mature, went into the relationship with less expectations, and who doesn't feel that their ego was bruized.
Oh yeah, and which one liked the sex less. | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:09:07 PM | | That depends on the maturity level of the individuals... It can also depend on who can let go .....and maybe if the one willing to let go is "allowed" to let go.... Sometimes you can have your whole heart invested but because of the truths you can let go even if it hurts... (sometimes knowing makes you let go becasue you have to) Letting go can be hard but it's how you handle it.... JMO | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/11/2009 3:05:16 PM | From what I have seen I would say the guys get over a relationship a whole lot faster ...
I think the creater for got to fill their cold storage sheds with a hearts ...  ...
I know there are some really nice guys out there but I dont see them and I havent got anyone that I personaly talk to that has either ...
Well .. Ok I have met a few guys that are nice and they are so kewl ...
I just wish ppl (men and women) would think about others before they do or say things ... but then that aint going to happen cause some ppl dont know what care or love or morals are ...
AnglFlyn | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:26:41 PM | Well, I'm getting over my recent "heartbreak" rather easily. But then, I was the "after the fact" dumper. My story is elsewhere on these forums but when I let myself fall for a guy who was stringing along another woman, too, and then allowed myself to believe all the excuses and reasons why he had to continue communicating with "cheryl" (including the old, she might seriously try to commit suicide ploy). I finally just flat out told him to drop dead. He came over and yelled some choice words at me through my window but left after I said I was calling the police.
Then he calls me tonight and wanted to know if "we could talk." I said not really and hung up. Had already blocked his other numbers but he was using a different one to call me this evening and I blocked that one too. One more call from him and I may just go get a restraining order.
Fruitcake.
No, I'm not hurting. I learn quickly, hopefully. I agree with the Highway 101 song: I've got the fastest healing broken heart in town. . . .
J | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:16:29 PM | The one who realizes it wasn't meant to be and doesn't feel like continually drag it on by immature actions.
You shouldn't have read his response probably or you should have just saw his below the belt comments as signs he was still a boy playing childish games. It happens and I'm sure this won't be the last guy who feels like he can lash out from a break up.
I guess this means you two won't be buddy buddies and won't be inviting each other to the yearly Christmas party? | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:25:12 AM | | Whoever is willing to stick with their decision to stop the communication, and move forward in a positive way by disengaging, rather than insisting on being the one to have the last word in a pissing contest.... | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:33:54 PM | Who ever had less invested.
I do agree with a lot of comment's on here because every break up that i've been through has been different, just the same as every relationship has been unique in it's own way, and none of them has followed a set pattern. I think this rings true the most. | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:45:49 PM | If it's only been a few months or less...generally the male who's out. He's childness stems on his upbringing,and past excuses that have worked before. Please don't bunch us up with that trash ! Not " all " males act or respond that way! Being cruel is his way of dealing with problems, and it shows you how inmature that person really was. Being popular or "book " smart ,doesn't show the real side of life. If he was a few years older than you..it shows that you were adjusted for life than him. Just move on..don't waste you time on kids that can't play nice!
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:53:06 PM | The first to get over the relationship is the one who was least in love.
With that said, let me give you a bit of advice. Quit exchanging emails with this guy. Quit reading his emails. You are both acting like 12 year olds. Stop it immediately, erase him from your life, and move on.
Beth | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:31:25 PM | | Guess it also depends on how you define "getting over" someone. I was dumped almost a month ago and in many ways I still don't think I'm completely over it. I don't sit and pine for her anymore or anything, but I still do feel a certain emptiness. | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:18:42 PM | Depends on who has the most invested in the relationship in my book. People tend to go through stages of attachment some people click quicker than others. In this instance its anyone's guess. I don't agree with the dumped theory sometimes you just feel relived its over . Its like watching a train wreck in slow motion you can see it coming and your just morbidly fascinated by the whole thing. In the end your just glad your not riding in the front compartment.  | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:45:46 AM | I think the one who leaves gets over it faster. - Because they had the time to plan their escape.
- At least that's what happened to me..............When my ex left, he already had someone else lined up to take my place.
So yes, you could say that by the time it ended, he had already moved on and was "over it".
- But not for long.........The person who he thought was the cat's meow left him. So I guess he isn't over that one! - Imagine my "surprise" when he tried to come crawling back........turned out he wasn't "over it" after all. 
Anyway........... | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 9/18/2009 9:32:17 AM | | she was over me the next hour after she dumped me on the phone and im paying!took me two months to get over the **** still get pangs ofself dought ,just used me in a four year relationship,nearly payed the ****es mortgage off to,a close shave?still feel bitter funny how love turns into hate?just the other side of the same coin? | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 9/18/2009 6:02:18 PM | I think your both at fault here. You said what you wanted to say when you sent him your first message.
Who cares if he unread/deleted...that shouldnt bother you.
Who cares if he sent you a rude reply...that shouldnt bother you either.
Who cares if he blocked you...that shouldnt bother you!
So.. why is it so important that you get the last word?
Let it go, leave him alone and forget the games two ppl play when braking up.
It's done
It's over
End of story.
As for your question on who gets over a brake up first?
The one who cares the least in the relationship, is the one that's in control of it. Be it his/her emotions, feelings, they just seem to be the ones that move on faster! | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:49:47 PM | I actually think mostly men get over it sooner, and here's why:
Most of the time, men are looking just for "a woman". *Any* woman will do the trick.
Where most women are looking for a SPECIFIC man, and when they find him, invest in him. Not in the relationship--in the MAN, himself.
Now, in much rarer cases it is the man who finds "the one" and then gets dumped, and then he is SO bruised that a lot of the time, he cannot do it ever again. Then we get THOSE guys, guys who REFUSE to invest, yet we invest, so we get hurt MORE, again.
But, yes, it's the person who dared to hope and envision a future who takes longer to get over it. And THAT is usually the woman. | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 9/19/2009 12:54:29 PM | | The dumper usually gets over before the dumpee. When you dumped him, you ran into his wall of defenses, hence the nasty mails from him. Underneath his nasty response he feels abandoned, but, not your job to save him from his own unresolved feelings either-that's his own stuff to work out, including the reasons you dumped him in the first place. At this point, by engaging with him further, you are giving acknowledgement to his false ego/pride and not encouraging him to face himself by your absence. | |
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| Who tends to get over the breakup first?
Posted: 9/19/2009 4:29:42 PM | Hard to make useful generalizations by gender....
As a sensitive male, and one who meets relatively few women, in my experience it has been women who have moved on more quickly, at least in the physical sense. I say this because the women I've been with long term have all met other man very shortly after we broke up and started dating again in short order, while I have tended to spend a while alone, licking my wounds. Now, that doesn't mean necessarily that these women were emotionally over the breakup. But, comparatively, it is extremely easy for most women to find another mate to physically replace you. Men like me can take years to find another mate.
In one particular case, I ran into a women who I had been with for over four years about a decade after we broke up and she told me to "go away" in a very harsh tone of voice... which suggests that she hasn't has much success in getting over me. She moved on rather quickly, marrying the first guy she dated after we broke up. She was my closest friend and I'd just love to be able to say "hello" and catch up on what has been going on in her life. Mostly it just makes me sad. I'm beyond feeling hostility at this point. | |
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