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Posted: 8/12/2009 8:49:39 AM | Now, why is it that a chick that has nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING going for themselves can manage to get a sweet, charming, we'll rounded man. Then a women that has her head on straight and a good job, a house and all of the above manage to get nothing? A good personality, good looks and sense of self gets the stuff that's left over apposed to a decent man. I just don't understand it.
I'm an independent women, a single mom, just bought my first house, I work for the government. I think I have a pretty good personality, I have an hour glass figure and all I keep thinking is why not me?? I just started this online dating thing and there's still obviously a lot of things I don't quite understand.....like for instance, why men can say rejection is sooooo hard for them but they'll reject a genuine women in a heart beat and expect us not to feel the same way they do when they get rejected? Or why men call us out of our names when we do the same thing that they do but when they do it they get high fives? Clue me in I guess because I'm obviously clueless... | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 8:55:41 AM | | this is because life is perfect and we are entitled to get everything we want, when we want it. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:00:03 AM | | Your in your 20's there are still plenty of good men available they just may be harder to find. As for the other part about the name calling your still dealing with boys not men. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:02:18 AM | Patience Darling.
I am fairly new to this myself, and sounded felt just like you a couple of months ago. I just got dumped yesterday by a girl that I really liked, but who I see now was not as into me as I thought. Who you pick for a partner is a very personal thing. And what you think from the outside is a match made in hell may work perfectly well for the people involved.
If a guy rejects you early in the dating process, that is a good thing. That way you didn't waste months and get emotionally tangled before he rejects you. Just don't take it personally. You will one day meet a guy, go on a couple of dates where he seems to be nuts about you, but you are lukewarm at best. Do you string it along hoping your feelings for him grow, or cut it off early. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:04:32 AM | | Here is the hard truth, you are biracial and alot of men will stay away from that, being politicaly correct at work and in the news papers is ok for most, but the reality alot of guys want a steady girlfriend and that will be a hard hurdle for them to jump. they will not tell you that so they wont hurt your feelings or they dont want to look bad. but that is the bottom line | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:07:19 AM |
Uh oh....nice girl thread
Yup, here we go... AGAIN.
It's also the 3rd one she started today. One more and she risks getting sent to banned camp and/or having them deleted. Take heed OP.
Seriously OP, you're 24, and have a 3 or 4 year old child. That's going to really limit the number of guys your age who will want to get involved with you for something more serious than a roll in the hay. However, like fixitguyy said, you need to be patient and hopefully, eventually the right man will come along. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:07:44 AM | Wow, you made three threads! Seems like you take rejection pretty hard. Keep your head up and don't get too clingy to rejections.
Edit: LD44 I'm actually very into biracial girls. And infact the OP is pretty hot, she sounds like she has issues. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:12:26 AM | quote]Uh oh....nice girl thread
Yeppers....
correct me if I'm wrong...
Ok I will take a stab at correcting you...
Just because you believe other women don't have all that you have what was the grocery list again.
Oh yeah a Gov job.
A house,
head on straight
Hour glass figure...
I am thinking some qualities that the other women that has been exalted to your pedestal yet. Here is our grocery list
Compassion
A gift of making the man in their lives know just how important they are.
Humbleness
Don't Whine
You might want to try it sometime.  | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:25:06 AM | Answers given in order of questions posed.
Q. "Now, why is it that a chick that has nothing and I mean absolutely NOTHING going for themselves can manage to get a sweet, charming, we'll rounded man."
A. Please specify which "chick" we are referring to, as well as which "sweet, charming, well-rounded man" is the subject of this complaint. I'd suggest you ask her, by the way, because she's the one who (apparently) has that figured out. Unless by "well rounded" you mean "has a Michelin / Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man physique", by "sweet" you mean "on the down-low" and by charming, you mean "manipulative sociopath".
Perhaps this "chick" does practical things like, I don't know, asking those well-rounded men what they actually want and then doing that, rather than complaining about how they (apparently) do not want what she wants to give.
Q. "I just don't understand it."
A. Well, at one point, you liked some guy enough to have his child. What happened there?
Q. "why men can say rejection is sooooo hard for them but they'll reject a genuine women in a heart beat and expect us not to feel the same way they do when they get rejected?"
A. Er, those who reject "in a heart beat" do so because they are indifferent to the other person's feelings. Rather like you are indifferent to the feelings of the guys whom you refer to as "the stuff left over". If we're going to be referred to as something suitable for refrigeration, let it be beer, at least.
Q. "Or why men call us out of our names when we do the same thing that they do but when they do it they get high fives?"
A. Google the phrase "double standards". Happy reading. And no, we're not going to collectively evolve into better people any time soon. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:29:46 AM | | Lmao ok maybe I do take rejection pretty hard but that last thread is one that I've been wondering about for a while now. I'm gettin pretty good with rejection now bcause I've been dealing with it a lot being a single mom, but I was just wondering why? Ya know? It just seems like now days it's hard for a good man to be with a good women bcause of some sort of complications or whatever the cause may be. Sorry I didn't mean to dump all those why and why not's it can just be really confusing. I just wanna figure out why is it hard 2 find someone that can be real and not play games?? I guess I just described a nerd! Lol jk | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:32:52 AM | | ed guys like you are far and few inbetween. now add the fact she has a child, and is doing better financialy then most men here are, makes her pickings very slim. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:34:27 AM | What men need is adoration. Respect.
Many women who are independant are not giving men what they need. We can have our careers and our lives and still adore and respect the man in our life. We just need to learn that balance.
What men need to realize is that a woman can have sex with a man that they have zero respect for. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:34:37 AM |
I just wanna figure out why is it hard 2 find someone that can be real and not play games?? I guess I just described a nerd!
Wow, I think that I fall into that category and have NEVER in my life been called, a nerd. Perhaps you need to reassess your qualifying process?? | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 9:39:41 AM | | Because the other girl is more attractive and "has nothing going for themselves" is relative and obviously biased on your part. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 10:30:47 AM | Get a tackle box
I sure wearing it on your face is not attractive for most men. JMO | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 10:49:19 AM | Actually, I c an sort of understand the OP's frustration. Even if she did not have a kid, she'd probably encounter the same problem. As for someone who said she is biased about "the other women", not necessarily. Case in point. My last BF did not have a college degree. I have both an undergraduate degree and a graduate degree from 2 of the top universities in the country. I've never been married and have no children. He dumped me for a secretary who was married with 2 children whom he himself said was not the most attractive woman physically. He then moved on to another woman with no college degree, twice divorced single mom who was/is overweight with tons of medical issues and in his words "needy." They are now married.
I actually often wonder how much of it is a cultural thing. I'm Latina and most of the men I've dated have been Caucasian men who had never had serious relationships with anyone other than a Caucasian woman. It's not so much that I consider the issue to be a "nice girl syndrome" but rather, an issue with men who might feel intimidated or uncomfortable with someone that they know they won't be able to control.
In college, I was the girl who guys told me was the kind of girl that they would get serious with and not just fool around with. Then, I got into my 30's and all of a sudden now I get told I'm the kind of girl a guy would date but not marry. At this point, I'm just tempted to become one of those man-hating chicks who just goes around assuming everything out of a man's mouth is a lie. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 11:13:10 AM | THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR THAT LAST POST!!!!!! Someone who can see what I'm talking about. I didn't mean to offend anyone or put anyone down but it's reality. When u feel that u have all to offer in the world and you get " the stuff that's left" over meaning a man that give you that one liner of you're sexy, you're beautiful instead of an intelectual comment puts your own self esteem down as well. I feel I deserve better then a one liner....don't you? And as far as "a chick that has nothing going for themselves" meaning someone living off of the state, continuing to pop out children and continuing to be a drain on the economy gets that man that will do anything for them because they're needy!! Crap!!! So, now I have to lower my self worth and acomplishments just to find a good man that wants to "take care of me?" I don't think so!! There aren't enough men in this world that can appreciate a women that doesn't always rely on having a man pull them through life. A women that can do it with or without them should be more reassuring if you ask me. With you would make life better, without would put things back to the way they were. I guess some men can't handle a women putting a man in our shoes for once.
It's usually the men that are the bread winners but when a women comes along that can hold her own men begin to feel inferior. If you ask me, it's about damn time!!! Again sorry if this offends anyone, I apologize but this is reality for me. Men don't like someone that they can't control or have be helpless when it comes to life. I don't need a man to be a father figure, I don't need your money, or u to pitty me bcause I'm a single mom. I just want a man to appreciate that I can do it by myeslf and I don't need someone to support me but rather be my companion. | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 11:24:25 AM | OP...
It's because you're taller than most guys like, you've got facial piercings, you're not very cute and you're a single mother.
That's 4 strikes.
I'm really not trying to be mean, but you asked.
That's why. You can think you've got it going on and you're awesome all you want.....
But most men don't want to raise another man's kid, like petite girls, and don't dig loud facial piercings.
This has nothing to do with inferiority or money. I know that men in my generation don't really care as much about how much a girl makes. The problem is that you're not very desirable.... and this whole thread is about how desirable you are.
I bet you're really fun to date. :/
Nobody gives a sh*t if you've got your own house. I don't care if a girl lives in a cardboard box and works at Arby's as long as she's cute, sweet, and childless.
-8sf8
VVV But Navigator6, it's so much easier to blame the opposite gender than look at oneself!
I mean, if the OP really is better off and better looking than all her gal friends who are taken, she must have a shi*t personality or something. But rather than admit that and work on it.... all men are pigs.
And intimidated by a girl with a house. :/ | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 11:28:05 AM |
Men don't like someone that they can't control or have be helpless when it comes to life.
Hmm, it sounds like you AND TXcurlygirl need to reassess your qualifying processes. Not all men are intimidated by women with college degrees or who are financially responsible. IMO, all of that means nothing if their personality is in the toilet (a college degree does NOT automatically equal an intelligent and logically thinking person). So, stop blaming men for your situation/s and maybe start looking inward for some of the answers. After all, YOU are the ones who are choosing to get involved with the "intimidated" and/or controlling men... right? | |
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Posted: 8/12/2009 11:33:07 AM |
When u feel that u have all to offer in the world and you get " the stuff that's left" over...
I'm willing to bet the guys you consider "leftover" feel the same exact way about you that you do about the men that reject you. | |
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