| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:57:31 PM | In my last relationship, I realized I was complimenting the guy a lot and trying automatically to make him feel good and let him know I thought he was super.
It seems to be a part of my personality, something I am naturally inclined to do.
I know guys like compliments, but does it make them value the woman less if they hear them a lot from her, along with terms of affection and expressions of love all the time?
After months and months of always hearing from a woman you are in a relationship with how much she thinks you are great, would it make her seem less valuable to you?
Can a woman be so nice to you that you end up liking her less?
My ex used to say at first that I "was too nice to him". | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:06:01 PM | | How can this be a serious question? Assuming the compliments are genuine, any guy who claims he doesn't like to hear them simply doesn't really like you to begin with. And "You're too nice" is one of THE classic "He's just not that into you lines". Right up there with "It's not you, it's me" and "I don't want to ruin the friendship". | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:07:05 PM | ^^^^ Lol - it's waaaaay better than nagging.
I don't know, I would think it depends on the person, what you're saying, how you're saying it and how often you're saying it. I could see it getting annoying if it was the same thing all the time and it didn't seem genuine. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:09:54 PM | I believe constant compliments from anyone pretty much devalue all that is being said. After a time people will question are you really saying it because you believe it or is it becuase it's expected / systematic. Maybe at the begining it's nice and cool but after awhile its the same old thing being said like a broken record. Of course there are some compliments that a guy will probably never get tired of but I'll leave that up for you to ponder.
Yes after a time there comes a point even the male driven ego gets tired of it all. The threshhold is different for different people obviously. A narcassist will love it till the end of time. A shy low self esteem guy will probably not like it all that much since he already starts at a lower starting value of how he sees himself. Any compliment said will come off as peoplea re just being nice.
I would like to say though if you feel like saying it you shouldn't hold back. Maybe not be all gushy about it and talking baby talk unless the guy likes it but I wouldn't withhold a compliment because you are afraid it might be a turn off. I mean if a guy says I dont want you to compliment me and that's why Im breaking up with you... that's an oddity that most people can't explain unless you are saying it 24 / 7 texting, emailing, iming, and calling. You get the idea what I'm getting at I'm sure. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:11:06 PM | When you heard something good over, over and over and you know there is a ulterier motive tied to that compliment it loses it's meaning, weather guys say compliments to guils for sex or girl's say compliments to guys for a favor or in my case there is always a BUT after she rejects me and a sence of dread comes over me everytime I hear a compliment now.
Examples;
Your such a cool guy can you buy me a drink?
Your the best guy in the world can you cover the check?
Your such a great guy but I'm not attracted to you.
Your such a sweet, honested guy but I only want to be friends.
Very few times I heard a compliment from a girl that didn't want something or was leading up to rejection. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 9:14:30 PM | | It depends on the guy I suppose. I always love to hear compliments but if I hear a compliment that I feel is patronizing or just ridiculous then I'd be annoyed. Some compliments shouldn't be used all the time, there is always a time and a place. I don't think "valuable" is a good term to use, regardless I wouldn't feel that way, or feel she is less important to me. As for a woman being so nice to me? I'm always up for that because I'm more than happy to reciprocate. As long as she has her own backbone, more power to her. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:10:58 PM | | I am as bad as a woman in this area for sure. Yes, i like to be assured daily that i look great and am wanted for reassurance. This isn't insecurity in me, but keeps my sentimental self alive. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/13/2009 10:29:11 PM |
but does it make them value the woman less if they hear them a lot from her, along with terms of affection and expressions of love all the time?
Not necessarily the woman, but the compliments and expressions are worth less when they are freely and constantly given.
After months and months of always hearing from a woman you are in a relationship with how much she thinks you are great, would it make her seem less valuable to you?
No. I really try not to value a woman based solely on her stroking my ego.
Can a woman be so nice to you that you end up liking her less?
Yes. But not because of what she says so much as how and the context of what she says. Meaning if it's simply a means to get me to like her, but really the compliments aren't true or they don't really fit into anything I deserve, then I don't like her because she seems fake and manipulative.
I.E. I relate a story about when I played little league, and she compliments me on being such a great ball player. Doesn't really make sense, so isn't worth much, and I think she is simply trying to manipulate me by stroking my ego in order to see her in a more positive way. Possibly so I will be more receptive to being used for what she wants from me. Depending upon how gushing the compliment is and her body language as well. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:08:12 AM | | Agreed!!! Way better than nagging. Your ex is a moron! I have never dated a woman "too nice". Nice to begin with but it turns from" hey your fantastic" to "hey your a d**k"! Just the circle of life I guess | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:00:03 AM | | I dunno, I maybe different, but complimenting too much leads me to think that they are either overly kissing my ass or constantly lying. Not only that, I'm not a fan of it, because after awhile the compliments lose their novelty. After awhile it'll be hard to decipher a good hearted compliment or one you get everyday. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:21:46 AM | It's nice to get a considerate compliment, very nice, but too weird to get petted on the head like a puppy. "That's a good boy, good boy, yes you are."
No matter how sincere or unwitting it might be, it's a red flag.
A compliment should be thoughtful, then sincere to be received well. But sure nobody minds a little hero worship from their SO. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:38:42 AM | If the compliments are genuine and heartfelt, go with them. Nothing sounds better than to hear someone speak exactly how they feel at the moment, in the moment.
If you're saying something because it's what you've always said, or because you think that's what you're supposed to be saying right then ... well, that will get old fast.
In my experience, there's no such thing as "too nice" in a mature relationship. Too often, "nice" falls victim to "familiar," which leads to just benign meanness. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 3:08:27 AM |
It's nice to get a considerate compliment, very nice, but too weird to get petted on the head like a puppy.
Right on. Too much of anything gets irritating. Too much complimenting gets hard to believe, as if you don't have a mind of your own. | |
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SJS37
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Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 17 | |
| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 3:15:42 AM | I've never had the pleasure but I would assume I would like it.
I agree with Jackel whole heartedly. That has been my experience.
I can tell you that just about nothing turns me on to a woman more than hearing she thinks I am hot or sexy. I do not like to be told I am a nice guy so much. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 4:57:30 AM | "....trying automatically to make him feel good and let him know I thought he was super."
>>>this, exactly, is where the problem lies. Its nice that you want someone to feel good, but there's a variety of ways to do this. Many require more investment than just opening the mouth and exhaling...which is why they will mean more, even if the guy doesn't consciously realize he's considering this.
annnnddd....why does he need to know you think he's super? you're in bed with him, so you must already think this...right?
Like you said, OP, the need to over-compliment comes from a person's nature. It makes the person seem....well, like there's an ulterior motive for making such an impression. Like its more about what you need, than what he needs. One of the psych majors here can come up w/ the word, I can't remember what it is at the moment. | |
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| Do you appreciate a woman who compliments you a lot?
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:16:09 PM | I'm only speaking as a Leo here...
BUT YES! I love it when a woman takes the time & effort to appreciate me.
Makes a very pleasant change.
I'm sure its not the same for all guys though.
NB: If I feel that the positive comments are not genuine though... not good. | |
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