Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are girls so fickle on here?!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 1984John
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 1
Why are girls so fickle on here?!Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Encountered this girl on here and started talking to her. We plan on meeting up. One night i'm at a bar w/ friends just kicking back...she texts me being...a girl and all girlie and whatnot. We agree to meet up the next night. But when i texted her for a time, she never confirmed and never got back to me. So the next day, still don't hear from her. The following day i text her "guess last nite wasnt good for u lol." She texts back w/ "plz dont hate me... i started seeing someone..." LOL. i told my friends who were right there at the time and they were like "Dude you so got played!!! we told you about online dating man!!" LOL.

So she was making two dates at the same time and for some reason chose this other dude...AND she wasnt even going to tell me had i not texted her when i did. i even bought her flowers that one day and she couldnt even tell me she chose someone else on her own and not til i texted her. plus when we 1st started talking she was asking me if i was a cheater, liar, player b/c her b/f of 2 years cheated on her early in the year.

So i delete her and all, and like two weeks later - actually a little less than that - she texts me again. a simple "hey." i just replied asking what she wanted...she just said "...to say hi!"

... just saw that she made a new profile on here this morning.... and "trying" the online dating thing again.
 KatieOneLove
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 2
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:04:48 PM
Don't take it personally. If you never met her in person, then there was nothing for you to feel played or rejected about. Better to find out early than wait until you've invested a great deal of time in someone who wasn't all that into you. Remember, this is kind of like auditioning for a part...not everyone is going to fit the role, some will get written off immediately and others will get a call back. It's not the end of the world. The right person is out there for you, don't stress about it....things have to happen naturally or they'll never be right. Good Luck.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:11:39 PM
Let her be...you deserve better...if you let her in your life again, there's a chance she will treat you like "good old backup man" again...I hate to say this, but I know certain "women" who have treated good guys like this...but unfortunately the guys like the women so bad, they're weak enough to go back to them...looking at your photo, you look like a man...not a doormat!

If you're still in the early "getting to know you stages," there's nothing wrong with going out on dates with more than one guy...where she went wrong was when she made "double plans" as someone would end up being stood up...not cool!
 1984John
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 4
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 12:51:30 PM
Exactly. You, the second lady, understand my point. Go on as many dates as you want with different guys until you and a certain guy deem your status as "exclusive" or whatever, but double dipping and then blowing one of the guys off is shameful.

We were talking for two weeks, she even said she liked me a lot so far, and then she doesn't even have the common courtesy to INITIATE a text with me and tell me she's seeing someone now? That's cold, and shows your true colors honestly.

And she was trying me for a doormat. At first when she texted me that 'hey' I figured nothing of it. I figured she was still seeing that guy. But now it's clear she was trying to feel me out and see how I'd be with her text (see if I'd still want to meet, etc, without her initiating anything). And you're right - I could see myself going out with her two or three times only to have her say once again "Umm don't hate me but I started seeing someone exclusively." LOL.

I did really like her - first girl I "met" on here that I actually felt connected to in such an early stage. But she showed me her true colors on how she treats people.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:12:37 PM
I'm confused. Did you meet this girl and date her? If not, how can any of it be offensive to you? A lot of people talk to more than one person before meeting anyone, and they narrow down choices until they decide on one...they don't consider conversation and interest exclusivity. Before you meet anyone and a lot of times quite a while after, it's a crapshoot.

Perhaps you shouldn't be so hopeful so early. That tends to cause frustration if it doesn't pan out. A lot of these things don't pan out. Dating is like that.
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 6
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:26:08 PM

Encountered this girl on here and started talking to her. We plan on meeting up. One night i'm at a bar w/ friends just kicking back...she texts me being...a girl and all girlie and whatnot. We agree to meet up the next night. But when i texted her for a time, she never confirmed and never got back to me. So the next day, still don't hear from her.


John when it comes to getting in a Woman's pants technology is only gonna take you so far. whats with all the texting.

seal the deal and meet her face to face.
 1984John
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 7
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:27:28 PM
WInProgress, did you even read any of this post?

I specifically said dating as many people as one wants is perfectly fine before any two people become "exclusive," but the fact that she was talking to me for two weeks, said she liked me, etc, and then just ---blew me off--- (do you understand that? NOT that she went out with someone else...that she ---blew me off/didn't even tell me until I texted her---).

Of course she has no obligation to do so. But no one has an -obligation- to say 'please' 'thank you' and etc either, but that doesnt mean for those who don't are rude and have no common courtesy.
 1984John
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 8
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:32:02 PM
Well I was trying to meet her face to face LOL! And I don't wanna get into anybody's pants so quickly...sheesh...

By the way, as a continuation of my last post, it's also about her attempting to make two dates on the same night. She obviously was for Wednesday night and chose the other dude since I'm the one she didn't confirm the time with. We all date more than one person until we date one exclusively, sure, but don't attempt to go after two guys for the SAME NIGHT and then BLOW OFF ONE OF THEM!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 9
view profile
History
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:32:50 PM
Yes, I did which is why I asked if you met her already because your reaction is intense enough to think you have. If not, again - it's a crapshoot. You mentioned she talked to two and chose one. Again, that's what I meant by this happens...

Sure, it'd be great if a lot of things happened, like people waving to each other on the freeway before they cut someone off, but honestly it's not something that happens a lot.

The world (evident specifically on the net) is made up of millions of people all with different mindsets about what's rude and what's not. You may feel this is, but obviously she didn't. It's not better or worse it's different ways of doing things.

People you've never met are going to blow you off. How you deal with this is your choice...but it won't change the way people act. You can get upset which doesn't affect her, or you can expect that some will do this and not hope for too much until you know them well enough that you know what they'll do.

We all date more than one person until we date one exclusively, sure, but don't attempt to go after two guys for the SAME NIGHT and then BLOW OFF ONE OF THEM!

Would you rather she kept the dates and just set them up so you both met her one after the other? Chances are she had you in a holding pattern until she knew what he was doing for sure - but since she didn't confirm a time, there was no plan made.

P.S. How do you know for sure that she DID go out with him that same night? Did she tell you that? If so it sucks, but it happens all the time, normally women who do this just don't say it happens...to avoid this reaction.
 fitandfun78
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 10
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:35:37 PM
Well, that does suck ... she should've told you, but many take the easy way out and just stop contacting the other person. Is it right, no, but it seems to be common. Maybe she met someone out that night, maybe she had another date planned, who knows ... but it was said, at least you saw her true colors before you invested anything into her.

BTW ... girls are fickle on here for the same reasons men are ... women aren't the only ones who blow people off, trust me.
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 11
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:37:40 PM
wow she's a weiner. you really should date her and dump her the next day it'll bring peace to the world and all of earth's children
 1984John
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 12
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 1:50:43 PM
Lol this forum's funny... I'm totally not taking this seriously... I'm just sitting here posting in between talking to my bud on AIM, lol.

I mean I have a date tomorrow night.....

You wanna see a guy who overreacts? Story: I was with my best friend at a bar this one night and we start talking to these two girls who enter the bar. The one I found out goes to the same college as me, and we starting hitting it off. My friend was going after her friend, as we all sit at the bar talking. All the sudden, my friend gets up (I wasn't paying attention to his convo, just mine with the girl I was chatting it up with) and says to me "Hey man I'm going to the [club down the street]." I continue to talk to the girl, get her number, tells me to call her and that her friend and her will be back in the bar in 15 mins.

I go look for my friend and catch him on the street. I tell him I got the girl's number and she wants me to meet her back there in a few. He starts saying don't call her, don't go back, etc, because her friend's a B***. I was like "why? what her friend do to you??" I finally got him to tell me what happened.

He was talking to her and she told him to "buzz off." I was like WHAT? That's why you're getting like this? So what? If a girl said that to me I'd be like "ok" and walk away lol. He is pretty thinned skinned.

Anyway don't know why I told that story, i just find it funny. My friend laughs about it too NOW...but now THEN, haha.
 templar717
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:04:22 PM
John,

Almost the same exact thing happened to a friend of mine and of course we razzed him. Then another friend said "Don't get mad. Get even" So when she responded back because things didn't work out with the first guy he set up a date with her to meet her at a nice restaurant. And of course he didn't show.

Personally, I don't recommend being a jerk. I think I would have just texted her after she tried to rewarm things up and let her know that I was not longer interested after being treated that way.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 14
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:10:33 PM
Don't attribute this behavior to online dating, as I don't believe you are (based on your post about your friend).
What goes around comes around. By her choosing not to see you, she may have missed out on meeting a great guy. By her not keeping in contact and skipping out on you, it allowed her to show you her true colours, which is a good thing in the long run.

Her behavior was blatantly wrong, but there are women who come across as fickle, when they are really just mulling over what you say and trying to take you in. They may have initial interest and realize that they don't want to take it any farther. That's just part of dating. We're rarely going to click in all ways with people we meet, but we need to get to know them a bit to find out.
 BBG38
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 15
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 2:22:42 PM
Hey there, Yes i must admit you have to laugh at the internet dating mentality...I like the new idea of supposed "dating"...with the phrase..."lets be friends and catch up sometime..." I don't have sex with my friends....lol
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 16
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 3:42:40 PM
This conversation is reminding me of a song:

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side
It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down


=For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 17
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 4:18:00 PM
Well first off, that's part of the game -- online AND offline. You didn't even meet her yet, so there's no exclusivity. In FACT, your situation points out the reason why YOU should "play zone", not just "1 on 1 coverage". I've had girls write me eagerly, we communicate great, set up a tentative time to meet... then poof - gone. You don't want to get your hopes & emotions intertwined with someone before you meet them, and it is people-shopping. If a better thing comes along, they'll go for that. With that said, I'm sure many women (and guys) are horrible at window shopping and end up passing up good options because they like shopping so much.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 4:52:17 PM

Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Fickle? I'd call it rude.
 honeyangel1985
Joined: 6/25/2009
Msg: 19
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:14:47 PM
Op, guys do it too.
 yourstylist
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 20
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:20:22 PM
thats interesting. it sounds like she made the wrong choice and maybe the other guy was a jerk or just ended it with her. o well her loss.
 ThisIsMee
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:22:47 PM
I would love to date you
 PlaidTruffles
Joined: 8/4/2009
Msg: 22
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:39:50 AM
Dating can’t be taken seriously simply because when you’re dating you meet all kinds. Do they share your religious beliefs, your moral maturity, and your financial sensibilities?
Meeting someone is common. Meeting the right one is rare.

However, girls who actively treat men like garbage will get their comeuppances in the end. You should respond positively at all times to those that are cruel to you. You can only be accountable to your actions.

And by the way, women are not fickle. You met a fickle girl. Big difference. Happy dating!
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 23
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:04:35 PM
So ONE woman was fickle with you and that means girls on here are fickle? Wow. Good to know.

One idea would be to NOT put so much stock in text sweet nothings. Let 'em either put up (and no, I don't mean sex) or shut up.
 pirateheaven
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:15:45 PM
Let me introduce you to the John Wayne school of Therapy.

Don't make me smack you!
 boo372
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 25
Why are girls so fickle on here?!
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:26:37 PM
I wouldnt take it personally, She is just being flighty and unfortunatly there are alot of women out there who are. She was unfortunatly keeping you on hold just incase the other guy didnt work out. That is pretty jerky if you ask me. No wonder it didnt work out for her. I believe what comes around goes around. Seems she back on the make. I guess it didnt work out well for her then. To bad...your not bad guy..
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why are girls so fickle on here?!