| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 4:28:31 PM | I got thinking about this when I read a comment in another thread...
I do not think the forums are too reliable for the following reasons:
1) You are only judging a small part of someone's character
2) Forums are unnatural - people do not debate all the time out of cyber world
3) Actions speak much louder than words
4) It is easy on forums to debate for the sake of debating, play devils advocate, be a wind-up, be a constant joker, etc, all of which distort the character of the individual concerned
A few questions:
1) How reliable are the forums for judging someone’s character?
2) Do you take someone's forum character as his/her true character?
3) What are your experiences of judging another on here and then subsequently meeting them? | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 4:50:26 PM |
1) How reliable are the forums for judging someone’s character?
2) Do you take someone's forum character as his/her true character?
3) What are your experiences of judging another on here and then subsequently meeting them?
1 Judging opinions maybe, not character
2 No
3 The people I have met, I didn't have any preconceived ideas about | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 4:54:34 PM | Nah you cant judge a persons character from forum posts.
You can see their opinions on certain subjects and can find their opinions abhorrent on certain things and therefore decide you wouldnt like to associate yourself with a person who has such different beliefs to you.
Then again you can end up meeting that person in the real world, see that there is so much more to them than one opinion on something and actually get on quite well and think that they are a pretty cool person! | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:00:35 PM |
I think one needs to have more insight into a person other than the forums. They do not always show all sides of their personality. People have misconceptions of how a person is from their posting style .................. because the personal attributes, mannerisms, body language, inflections, etc) are not apparent in the written (typed) word.
Generally, I have used other media than the forums to aquaint myself with a person before meeting them, and if the internal b/s radar says they are clean I am not often proved wrong  | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:07:59 PM | No I think they are to unreliable, there is no sense of them other than what they can articulate, one shouldnt judge others anyway, but you can get an insite into a persons character traits, because of the subjects they comment on, what they have to say on a certain matter, how they say it...
They are all just pointers though, there can be and usually is a degree of seperation between how a person is on a forum and how a person is in real life.
Some peoples true character traits are revealed while some peoples true character traits are masked by the anonimity the internet affords...
Most unreliable on the whole, but instructive none the less | |
|
OKRob
|
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 6 | |
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:09:59 PM | | The dates I have had from POF have been bad ideas. 3 people and none of them are forum users. To me it seems likely that profiles of non forum users should be looked at with caution more than profiles of people who do use the forum. | |
|
| |
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:30:07 PM | 3) What are your experiences of judging another on here and then subsequently meeting them?
I've always found them to be exactly how I imagined them.
I'm going to go against what appears to be the majority point of view here.
Without body language and voice people seem to make an extra effort to emphasize their personalities in what they write, for me it makes it even easier to read them. This is present in all passive forms of communication such as email and text messaging. My absolute passion is the use of body language however I do sometimes indulge in passive communication (i.e. forums) and enjoy the altered state of decorum it brings.
I figure out peoples personalities by spotting patterns of behaivour present in certain groups of people. For example how they respond to debates, what style of threads they choose to reply on, and most importantly how they apply theory of mind to other peoples posts.
Peoples' personalities are always modelled on their life experiences. The forum history tool gives the more analytical individuals far more material than they'd ever get from a single date. For example it would be inappropriate to discuss political views on a first date, however one can often begin forming a picture of someone just by knowing their political orientation.
People often think that individuals can use forums to skew their personality, for example the player who posts far too many topic concerning his "support" of monogamy although he doesn't realise his fake persona has already set alarm bells ringing amongst the more inquisitive female minds.
Women hate us men because we have this ability to take a whole group of variables (i.e. personality traits) and use logic and reasoning to form a completely acurate personality profile, just from a load of forum posts! | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 5:30:39 PM |
1) How reliable are the forums for judging someone’s character?
Not very! People can post all kinds of rubbish on here to make them selves look good ,knowing full well that what they post is going to show up on their profiles...
2) Do you take someone's forum character as his/her true character?
Never! How can you tell that from the written word? It takes many times of interacting with someone before you can judge their true character
3) What are your experiences of judging another on here and then subsequently meeting them?
I have met hundreds from on here at events and from the ones that have posted on the forums.. 1 )who I thought was an arrogant idiot from his posting style was and is actually a very different kind of guy in the real world ..
2) Another one ,someone who from his posting style you would think he was always on top but in reality he has bad days like everyone does..
If I believed what everyone wrote on these forums as beingtrue traits in their character , I would run a mile the other way! | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 6:30:52 PM | I agree the forums only show a small part of someone's character, not only that but it only the part that they want people to see.
Forums are not unnatural - some people enjoy debating or putting their viewpoints forward when they are offline as well. I would prefer to debate with someone offline than take part in inane conversations that have no meaning.
The forums can give a true reflection of SOME of a persons characteristics ie the ones that they use during debates but I don't think you can judge a persons full character through the forums, that's not what they are meant to do
Haven't met anyone from the forums, but some have messaged me with support and suggestions regarding my daughter and I am sure they would be the same caring people off line as well. | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 7:03:26 PM |
I've always found them to be exactly how I imagined them.
I'm going to go against what appears to be the majority point of view here.
Without body language and voice people seem to make an extra effort to emphasize their personalities in what they write, for me it makes it even easier to read them. This is present in all passive forms of communication such as email and text messaging. My absolute passion is the use of body language however I do sometimes indulge in passive communication (i.e. forums) and enjoy the altered state of decorum it brings.
I figure out peoples personalities by spotting patterns of behaivour present in certain groups of people. For example how they respond to debates, what style of threads they choose to reply on, and most importantly how they apply theory of mind to other peoples posts.
Peoples' personalities are always modelled on their life experiences. The forum history tool gives the more analytical individuals far more material than they'd ever get from a single date. For example it would be inappropriate to discuss political views on a first date, however one can often begin forming a picture of someone just by knowing their political orientation.
People often think that individuals can use forums to skew their personality, for example the player who posts far too many topic concerning his "support" of monogamy although he doesn't realise his fake persona has already set alarm bells ringing amongst the more inquisitive female minds.
These are pointers only, I couldnt rely on them in any sense, the more somebody posts the more pointesr you get, but you will never get the full story, people are a little different on here, its hard to test theories because one can not talk about other forum members [rules].
Though I do agree, if you read somebodies profile and them read their forum posts some of the things dont add up.
a profile is usually the best foot forward kind of attitude | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/14/2009 7:06:37 PM |
Well, there are rather a lot of fake and second and third profiles knocking about, a few of which are very easy to spot. However, you could get people who believe that these profiles are real, kind of makes it a bit harder to judge someone's "character" as their characters may be slightly different depending on their alias that day.
This seems a tad paranoid to me. I have to disregard this as irrelevan because I believe the numbers to be so small it couldn't even be considered a niche demographic.
As for an accurate personality profile, I'd be very surprised if someone could accurately work out someone else's personality based on a few postings, because very often, people offline are nothing like they are online.
Whether or not they have strong opinions on here.
Based on personal experiences, I have to disagree with that.
So this is something only men have ability to do. You are suggesting that women cannot use reasoning and logic - seems a bit unfair.
I have a funny feeling I'm going to regret saying that, however it was only said in jest, honest! 
I do agree that reading 20 forum posts from an individual will give more of an insight into the way they think - simply because it would be very difficult to make 20 comments on 20 different topics without there being some sort of 'trait'.
I agree. | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:07:15 AM | I've met quite a few of the forum peeps and all but 2 have been just as I imagined from how I perceived them on here. One of the 2 I had imagined would not my cup of tea as he was very knowledgeable on all things computer based and I wondered whether he would be a bit of a nerd (sorry C!!) but was a lovely guy in real life..........the other had such opposing views to me on here that I couldn't see how we could possibly get on.....and yet in real life, I liked him immensely.
I think the forums provide a guide to a character, perhaps more so than a mere mail to someone because people do seem to get quite involved on the forums.........it's certainly interesting to hear people's views and after a while, you can tell without too much trouble who posts what even without looking! There will be some who deliberately wind things up or say things just to look good but hopefully the truth will out in the end.
Looking forward to meeting some more of you if the opportunity arises.... | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:08:25 AM | | ive not been here long but generally talking on various forums ive posted on the persona online does tend to be pretty accurate just more outlandish giving the poster a personality they dont always have off line ive met a few (3 from here before i even joined) who turned out to be quieter and shyer and one who was even more full of life than they appeared online which is saying something lol i think if you take peoples posting history on any site it shows who is a drama queen who is the forum bully who is the teachers pet who always sits on the fence etc anyway and if you dont like those traits just ignore the poster i wouldnt meet anyone i didnt like on here whats the point? | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:15:43 AM | 1) How reliable are the forums for judging someone’s character?
Not at all, remember its typing you can type what you want people to think....
2) Do you take someone's forum character as his/her true character?
not a chance call me a cyinic 
3) What are your experiences of judging another on here and then subsequently meeting them?
ha ha i havent met many but putty in your hands hopfully. But i thought only God or the Devil could judge me now !!!!!!!
  | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:17:27 AM | I dont judge people from what they write here but I do get a feeling about someone if they post regularly. There are people I like, people whose opinions I respect and there have been people I have really disliked, thankfully they are not here now.
Even if I disagree with somone I may still like them. There are so many sides to a personality and I have been told by those who go to meets that people who are a little unpopular here are really nice when you meet them in person.
The trouble is if you are lonely and really want to meet someone you can build up a person in your mind and make them something they arent. When I did adult texting guys used to choose a woman to talk to, she wasnt real, their texts were answered by lots of different operators under the chosen woman's profile and they would think they were in love with her, if that makes sense. | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:51:10 AM | I don't think it's all that reliable at all.
You can get an idea but it all depends on what the poster chooses to post on for one thing.
I don't post on here all that often now but I used to mostly just have a giggle with it.
Much of what I post isn't very serious and I don't get involved in any of the serious debate threads which I used to way back when I first joined....er..almost 4 years ago now.
I have no idea if how I am in the forums is any real reflection on how I am in real life.
I just take the forums as a bit of fun.
I also don't pay all that much heed to how a person posts and how they come accross when I've met people from here.
The way people post can all too much depend on how they are feeling and where they are at at that point in the day/week/their life. | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 12:54:15 AM | Not that reliable to be honest on here.
Some of the folk have been here a while and there are a few people on here who are genuine to whom they are,but there are also alot of arses to...like most forums,but hey its the net,how far do you trust people on here?
The best way to judge people is to meet them n take them for what they are. | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:37:39 AM | I believe that regular posters expose more of their true beliefs in the forum. Consistancy over time is a pretty good indicator of how they think.
Personality can also be shown by the way that they react within the debate.
I'll use forum posts to assess beliefs, I'll even use them as an indicator of character based on those beliefs, but I'll do my utmost to avoid judging anyone. Just because I don't agree with someone's beliefs, it doesn't make them (or me) a bad person.
Of the posters I've met, a few have become great friends, some of those would be obvious from their posts, others not so. There is a poster whom I find delightful in the real world but whose posts drive me to distraction so that sometimes I won't even read them, I get so wound up! | |
|
| |
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:49:47 AM | I think it would be easy to guess who's said what a lot of the time if you're a regular forum reader.
the posts give a flavour of a person but posts are usually measured, reread and amended before finally posting so you have to allow for that.
I'm with an earlier poster too, I am careful what threads I post on for a variety of reasons so no-one could know the real me from this place. | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 2:40:07 AM | How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
I find them to be fairly reliable, given that 95% of the posters that I've read seem to be decent sorts, and 99.999% of the posters who I have met have turned out to be decent sorts. Even the one unpleasant former site member turned out to be unpleasant in real life!
As has been pointed out, just because one holds generally opposing views to someone does not mean that you won't like them personally. Indeed, there is one poster on here who would gladly strangle me for my political views, yet she and I have an affection for each other, simply because she is such a wonderful person.
There are certain 'default' opinions on here that show that most of us are decent human beings. Generally, we want everyone to 'get home safely' at night, we don't like kids to be abused, we would rather people behaved themselves but we are pleased that they are caught and punished, we want those in authority to appreciate that they are our servants not our masters (we all hate the 'little Hitlers' at the local council, for instance), we want people to enjoy themselves, we want the nation's kids to be educated and successful in their lives, and we want everyone to end their lives peacefully surrounded by their loved ones.
How all of the above is achieved is the subject of the debates that we all enjoy so much, but our goals are remarkably similar. | |
|
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 3:20:42 AM |
This seems a tad paranoid to me. I have to disregard this as irrelevan because I believe the numbers to be so small it couldn't even be considered a niche demographic.
Disregard it as paranoid as you like, but there were various fake profiles floating around here a couple of months back, some that might have surprised you. The point I was making was, as you seemed to suggest that you could tell a lot about someone's character from the manner in which they posted, you might be thrown off balance a bit when you had male profiles (with pic attached) who were actually well known female posters in another guise.
As for paranoid, you are using the word totally out of context, paranoia is a mental health condition, it isn't possible to be a bit "paranoid", it's a word that people use totally out of context on a regular basis and one that I'd rather not have flung in my direction thanks. | |
|
*kath*
|
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 24 | |
| |
| How reliable are the forums for judging someone's character?
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:22:29 AM | Theres always the danger of mis-judging though too isn't there , after all those who want to conceal their real characters behind their online 'persona' may intentionally mislead ??
I think that no matter how hard some people try to conceal their personalities behind their online persona, the longer they have been posting for the more likely their true colours will shine through, with the odd element of surprise perhaps. When I have investigated people further whose posting style I like there is little discrepancy between their on line persona and real life, other than they might be a bit quieter which is what I'd expect, but by and large I think I can read pretty well between the lines....famous last words! We all gravitate towards some people more than others but even those people I've found myself having opposing views when I've met them in real life they've been nice and it would be boring if we agreed on everything anyway. It's easy to get into squabbles as well as banter which sometimes seem to resemble married life on here....I find it quite funny really!
Quite! LOL x vvvvvv | |
|
Home
login 
