| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:26:37 AM | I have seen several thread on the benefits of dating a single mom, however I would like to change the gender. I would argue that dating a single father is typically better then dating a single mother. Here are my reasons:
1. He has a job.
2. He generally has more then a post-secondary education be it college or trade school. Some with both.
3. He has his own place.
4. He has his own mode of transportation (car)
5. He is family oriented. It is hard to get custody of childern esp. if they are very young, and requires an investment in the family. It is much easier to sign over rights.
Most of these examples are "typical" requirements I see on women's profiles therefore, I would argue dating a single father should be a no-brainer. Also the above is not necessarly the case for single mothers who rely on a support network. I have noticed there are a lot, single mothers that don't have one or more of the above. This is not to say all single mother's don't. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:46:03 AM | 1.) Has a job actually 2 on top of being a mom
2.) Has a BA & a diploma
3.) is only renting for the time
4.) Has a very expensive truck --- why I can't get a mortgage
5.) Is family oriented
However I do see the benefits of dating a single dad. I never had a problem with dating single dads before I became a single mom. You get to see a man interact with his child his parenting techniques. You know that man is responsible for someone other then himself. I personally love seeing dad's interract with their children I find them more attractive.
But now that I'm a mom I only want to date single dad's because they know I have a crazy schedule. A man with no children isn't going to understand the committment I've made. I hate it when my single guy friends still treat me like I'm the same girl they used to know. I'm not. I'm a mother now and they just don't get it. I don't have to explain my situation to a single dad cuz he "gets it."
I don't know if single dad's are necessarily better then the single mom's. I just think they have a better reputation then single mom's. A single dad is seen as being responsible single mom is seen as irresponsible. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:58:09 AM | | also, which is a double-edged sword, the single dad has a much clearer idea of the type of woman he wants in his life and in the lives of his children. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 9:59:51 AM | | It isn't necessary a matter of better. However, my list applies to almost all single dad's whereas, it doesn't always apply to mom's. As far a own place, it isn't about owning or renting but not relying on others to provide a roof over your heads. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:17:03 AM |
It isn't necessary a matter of better. However, my list applies to almost all single dad's whereas, it doesn't always apply to mom's. As far a own place, it isn't about owning or renting but not relying on others to provide a roof over your heads.
I don't think its a gender issue. I think its an "age" issue. If u look at a single 17 yr old mom is she going to have the same life experience as a 27 yr old single mom-- no. Is a 17 yr old single father going to have the same list of benefits that a 30 yr old single dad is? I'd say no.
Younger parents are going to face more challenges. They have to grow up a heck of a lot quicker then those who have already established themselves and are ready for the full responsibilities of being a parent. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:22:40 AM | | I generalyl look at women within my peer group. Namely because of shared experiences, and I have found many of my female single parent peers are missing some or almost all, of the items on my list. Again I would argue Jen you're more an execption than a rule. I would also have to take into account the Canidian governments "safety net" in the equation. You Canidians have a different set of rules which you can apply and use for you own benefit. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:37:20 AM | "also, which is a double-edged sword, the single dad has a much clearer idea of the type of woman he wants in his life and in the lives of his children. "
Yes, the one with the nice ass! Same thing I wanted before | |
|
| |
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 11:37:45 AM | This is the best news i have heard.
Now i can get my money back fom that car dealership that charged me for a car i dont supposedly have, stop paying Geico, stop paying the state DMV for tags, and stop paying those obsecene gas prices, since i presumedly as a single mother dont have a car.
I can tell those pesky electric, water, and phone company people to get the hell off my back, seeing as i dont have my own place, and i can tell the county tax collectors to take a leap to hell for charging me property tax when everyone knows single moms cant have their own places.
When the boss calls i get to tell him im not coming, as i dont work.
And i can beg off taking the kid on outings as im just not family oriented.
Thanks for saving me from all these evil people charging me for shit i dont have Doc.
I will be sure to have them look at this post next time they want to have the nerve to charge me for car insurance or property tax.
Edit: can you please have a word with that state cop that ticketed me for cutting him off on US1? since single moms dont have transportation, try to talk make him see that it couldnt have possibly been me? Good alibi for court. "Your honor, it wasnt me, i was creepin with the girl next door, now picture this we was both butt naked bangin on the bathroom floor. it wasnt me." | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 11:50:59 AM | Oh dear God another gender thread.
I would argue that dating a single father is typically better then dating a single mother.
Wow, OP, I have to say I kinda resent the implication that a single father is "better" than a single mother, especially since I (and most of the single moms I know) pass all five of those criteria you listed.
Personally...
1. I have a job.
2. I have a post-secondary education.
3. I've always had a good home for my child and myself. Nope, didn't own it, but I certainly provided it. (Child support was a wish and a dream, not a reality.)
4. I have always had a car, AND a second one for my child once driving age was reached.
5. I'm absolutely family oriented.
I have noticed there are a lot, single mothers that don't have one or more of the above. This is not to say all single mother's don't.
Glad you clarified that at the end there...
And the bit about the support network? Does this mean that single custodial fathers don't have a support network? Yes, I had a sister who would babysit sometimes, was that my support network? I paid dearly for quality childcare for many years so I could work, was THAT my support network? Or maybe it was my benefits package at work that allowed me to use vacation days when my kid was sick, was THAT my support network?
Sorry to rant a bit, but especially in the world of internet dating, single mothers already seem to be second-class citizens. I've talked to so many men on the internet who just assumed I was out for a replacement daddy and couldn't possibly be capable of raising my child by myself, this is something I deeply resent.
And to have a single-father (who I would think would GET IT) step up and say that single dads are better than single moms just made me see red. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:04:12 PM | I did post that it isn't about being better. See Msg 4
Thank you for reading that I wasn't painting all mothers with a negative brush. I would say that the majority of the mothers that post to the fourms have there act together. However, there is a large population that doesn't. Giving single parents a bad name. I was merely trying to point out that dad's have many of the things that I have read women want on their profiles.
As to the support network, I suppose I should say family, and social services. I know I'm going to get flamed for that one. However, gender is a consideration in services. I know from my experience with social services. Men are just supposed to make due. I also have to do it without CS.
Sweetness: Please read what I am saying before you assume that I am trashing single mom's. I did say that not all single mom's fit the mold. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 12:59:05 PM |
I have noticed there are a lot, single mothers that don't have one or more of the above.
Where/when have you noticed that "a lot" of single mothers who do not have the attributes on your little list?
1. I have a car.
2. I have post-secondary education as well as a technical shool certification.
3. I have my own place.
4. I have my own mode of transportation (car).
5. I am family oriented | |
|
tass08
|
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:07:02 PM | Single dads rock because they have kids and kids = awesome!
I love how the women chime in with "oh you're wrong about women because your description doesn't fit me exactly," so you must be bashing single moms, even though you clearly stated you were not talking about all single mothers, just stating some positive things about single fathers. Come on gadgetdoc, don't you realize that posting something positive about fathers automatically means you're bashing mothers? You mother-basher you.
Signed,
a single mom who thinks single dads deserve some serious props | |
|
tass08
|
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 14 | |
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:11:18 PM |
Where/when have you noticed that "a lot" of single mothers who do not have the attributes on your little list?
1. I have a car.
2. I have post-secondary education as well as a technical shool certification.
3. I have my own place.
4. I have my own mode of transportation (car).
5. I am family oriented
Are you "a lot" of single mothers? He's making an observation based on his own experience. Unless you two have met in real life, he's not talking about you, so get off your high horse and try to read the OP again without the chip on your shoulder. He's saying single fathers have a lot to offer women in the dating world. I happen to agree. Lots of women think single dads aren't worth the effort, just like lots of men think single moms aren't worth the effort. They both are, IMO, but only if they're not carrying all kinds of baggage and ready to pounce on anyone who sees things differently than they do. | |
|
tass08
|
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:12:52 PM |
This is the best news i have heard.
Now i can get my money back fom that car dealership that charged me for a car i dont supposedly have, stop paying Geico, stop paying the state DMV for tags, and stop paying those obsecene gas prices, since i presumedly as a single mother dont have a car.
I can tell those pesky electric, water, and phone company people to get the hell off my back, seeing as i dont have my own place, and i can tell the county tax collectors to take a leap to hell for charging me property tax when everyone knows single moms cant have their own places.
When the boss calls i get to tell him im not coming, as i dont work.
And i can beg off taking the kid on outings as im just not family oriented.
Thanks for saving me from all these evil people charging me for shit i dont have Doc.
I will be sure to have them look at this post next time they want to have the nerve to charge me for car insurance or property tax.
Edit: can you please have a word with that state cop that ticketed me for cutting him off on US1? since single moms dont have transportation, try to talk make him see that it couldnt have possibly been me? Good alibi for court. "Your honor, it wasnt me, i was creepin with the girl next door, now picture this we was both butt naked bangin on the bathroom floor. it wasnt me." Another one who can't read someone else's post without putting their own cloudy bitter filter on it. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:30:06 PM | I generalyl look at women within my peer group. Namely because of shared experiences, and I have found many of my female single parent peers are missing some or almost all, of the items on my list. Again I would argue Jen you're more an execption than a rule.
You need to expand your peer group. Because most of the single moms I know have the following, including myself:
1) A full-time job.
2) Their own place.
3) A college education. Typically a bachelor's degree like myself. And even if they don't, they still have a full-time job and their own place.
4) Their own transportation.
5) And we all are family oriented.
Oh, and I don't live in Canada. Stereotyping really isn't all that good of an idea. Kind of like saying that all NCP's are deadbeats who don't pay their child support. When the fact is the deadbeat NCP who doesn't pay their child support is the exception, not the norm. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 1:32:46 PM | To answer a question posted to me. I have noticed this to be the case with some of the women I have met here. There have been mom's that had to have me get them because they don't have a car. There are many without some post-secondary education, not even some college. There are others that are still at home with mom and dad. Of course this is also true in my real world experiences. By no means do think this is all single mothers. It could be a regional thing, I would say more than not the mother which I have made contact with, and gotten past the first few messages had some of these diffculties.
Tass thank-you. You got exactly what I was trying to say, that single fathers have a lot to offer. I was giving some examples of why. All of which is a requirement to have childern (being male) according to the courts. Does this mean there are no mom's that are equal or greater than me. Of course not. I can think of some member's that are successful single mother's. If need be and with there premission I will name a few.
123CassJ: I cast a pretty wide net 21-40. I tend to aim for the middle between 25-35 year old women. I would consider you a contempory but not a peer. Simply because I wouldn't have the same shared experiences, esp. when it came to parenting. The higher the age range the more difficult it becomes to successfully date. I normally avoid the younger spectrum too because I've passed my parting days, therefore, generally we have differing wants and goals. I do take each person one at a time.
Gadget. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:28:25 PM |
You need to expand your peer group.
I disagree. I think you need to look beyond your own personal experiences.
Most of the single mothers that are my age that I have met are coming out of a failed relationship and are finding themselves facing the prospect of being alone for the first time in five, ten, fifteen, or more years. When you put that into context, prior to this divorce or separation, many of these women were stay at home moms, without jobs and very much dependent on their significant others. Whereas, the men that had jobs to support their stay at home wives continue to have their jobs after the divorce.
Yes, I acknowledge that single mothers (stay at home mothers) do recover and flourish on their own, but there are many that I have talked to that are still in that process of flourishing: going back to school, taking some time to find themselves, taking a summer off, and even for some that had morons for significants, they are rebuilding their credit. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:41:52 PM | | BS my dear. What ever you have listed many men have anyway. In addition, they hav more financial flexibility and can spend some extra coin on a lady (I am not talking about sugar daddies). They have more time flexibility and do not need to be at home by bed time. Thus, if a lady want a little romance or privacy in a bed room they are more opened time-wise. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 2:58:34 PM | | As far as being housewives, that's just and excuse, and a non-starter for me. It says a lot about the person and there willingness to better themselves to me. I am rebuilding after my divorce I have all the things I listed, let's get real. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:18:51 PM | OP many women would choose a man not in rebuliding mode. You refer to financial stuff. I see it. But even if do not want to admit it there must be some emotional stuff, too. You may not even realise it but women sence it.
Who needs a rebulding mode if no rebulding mode is availible out there. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:25:32 PM | I do realise those that are looking for someone to support them. I can usally "weed" them out reading their profiles. Yes ladies I do read them. I can also tend to disreguard those with super short profile too. It says that they're disinterested, non-commital on what they want or just plan lazy. However, those that just joined are given a little more slack.
As far as my re-building I should call it more a investment in my human capital. Going to Graduate school. Cleaning-up the last bits from the divorce. But, trust me I am completely stable in my finances. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:31:29 PM | | after reading the posts from above it seems things are getting a little bent out of proportion. Am a single dad myself i have my three year old daughter with me and i will say this it has changed my perception to quite a degree, both single mothers and single fathers have a great deal to offer and i dont think either one should have a higher standing than the other. its only because there are less single fathers than single mothers for various reasons. i have been lucky enough to be given the opportunity to bring my daughter up and i relish and enjoy every moment. as for the single mothers having none of the above things on there profile thats bs as most single mothers i know have gone out and bettered themselves, or they have a full time job or part time. I intend to go back to college myself to better myself and provide a more stable finanacial enviroment for my daughter. the dating side of things gets more difficult as as a single parent you have less free time. Both single mothers and fathers need to be praised as it is the most difficult but the most rewarding job there is. | |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:42:13 PM | OP let's get realistic here. As I understand you have a job and go to grad school. That is good. May people (without knowing the details) will assume that you workpart-time and go part-time to school. Or they assume you work full time and on top of that go to school. Many will think you also pay money for your school( even if your company does we do not know it)
The first one indicates limited finances. The second one indicates limited time (keeping in mind that you are a single parent). None of the above is desirable for nice ladies who can match you intellectually because you are clearly the one in grad school.
Those professional women do not look for your financial support they look for an equal partner who will spend time with them (they also have crazy schedules) and be able to keep up with their life style (I am not refering to very wealthy women).
I am sure you invest in your future. Great. I believe 2-3-5 years from now you can make a really good coin. But those women do not know right away that they will benefit from that coin eventually (in case you make it). They want stuff know and not with an asumption of this guy from POF marries me, and gets his MBA, and gets a solid pay check.... THose are the assumption that many normal people won't do.
YOUR POST
No normal woman will say that need a guy with a transportaion (it was in your list) it is assumed that a normal woman in your age has it and expects her partner to have it. We are not in HS any more. His own place???????? It is the same for your age group. The same for a job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What type of womens' profiles you read when they say all that??????? At 16 it is a somewhat privelage to have your own car and your own place and a job but at 31 it is MANDATORY!
| |
|
| Benefit of Dating Single Dad.
Posted: 8/16/2009 3:44:07 PM | Sigh I think what I've said has gotten twisted. I was saying most, not all mother's I've met on and off the site have had not had what I had. But that wasn't the point I was making. MY Point is what single fathers have to OFFER a potential girlfriend. I've notice that the above list was on a lot of women's profile of what they are looking for in a mate. This is NOT an US vs. THEM thread.
Gadget. | |
|
Home
login 
