| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:33:25 AM | | Tell me ladies, why is it that if a woman over 35 or 40 seeks out younger guys in their early 20's or late teens people just sort of wink and chuckle and call her a "cougar" or something but if a man seeks the same thing many people call him a dirty old man or a pervert or something derogatory and think he's terrible? Why is it acceptable for woman to go a lot younger and not for men? | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:39:33 AM | The difference is a couple things...one of them is that women don't usually seek out younger men, they get approached by them. Sure some eventually start hunting for em (those would be the cougars) but a lot of times they don't initiate - the men do. Also, those women are usually open to dating men their own age and may need to be talked into considering younger men seriously in the beginning.
With older men and younger women the dynamic usually is that a majority of the men are the ones seeking, initiating, etc...and that the older men are the ones taking it seriously, and less interested in women their own age overall. Some refuse to date their own age, causing a sort of hypocrisy.
So younger men seek older women,
Younger women are sought by older men.
That's part of what causes the stigma. | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:43:54 AM | Well for one, I don't have double standards about the ages anyone dates. Second, it's most likely NOT the women chasing the boys, its the boys chasing the women. Trust me on that! I have never once messaged any guy under mid 30s. But 18 yo boys message me and when they do, I ask them if their dads are single with money. I didn't date teenage boys when I was a teenager, WHY would I want to now? Like I need someone young, dumb and full of cum? No thank you. To each their own.
BTW, the term for older men chasing younger women is Manthers. It's just as degrading as the Cougar title. See...no double standard with me.  | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:56:47 AM | ^^^True - good point, another thing that separates the two is women tend to like intelligence in a younger guy whereas an older man could care less if the younger woman is intelligent. Dare I say some try to make sure she's dumber because he feels a lot smarter.
Women also tend to like men with sexual experience, whereas men aren't picky about that either, so the younger men get weeded more quickly in that area than the younger women too....
*shrug* | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:07:23 AM | I think part of it stems from the fact men are looking for long term relationships with someone much younger where women seems to accept that a relationship with a much younger man maybe ( not always) solely a sexual/fun relationship.
One of the implications is that older men seeking out younger women do so because they want an easy relationship that they can control as opposed to a relationship with an equal.
Personally I don't care one lick how old your dates are. And I can't for the life of me fathom why you would care what random people think, because if it really isn't an issue why are you thinking about it?
I date older men, younger men and men my age. If age really doesn't matter why is the age range ONLY younger? | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:11:40 AM |
True - good point, another thing that separates the two is women tend to like intelligence in a younger guy
Hmmmm...going to respectfully disagree with you there. Based on the forums here it's all about the young tight muscular bodies. No different from why men seek younger women. Except probably not for their muscles. | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:20:22 AM | Awesome screen name. And then THIS!!!
"But 18 yo boys message me and when they do, I ask them if their dads are single with money. I didn't date teenage boys when I was a teenager, WHY would I want to now? Like I need someone young, dumb and full of cum? No thank you. To each their own."
Awesome, just awesome | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:45:22 AM | Funny. I always thought the double standard was the other way around.
Look how people reacted when Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher. Even my mom once called her a disgrace. The same can be said for Mariah Carey, and Nick Cannon. Yet I don't recall hearing much said about people like Paul McCartney, and Slyvester Stallone.
I see men in general getting off easy on dating women much younger than them, than older women doing the same. | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:45:56 AM |
The difference is a couple things...one of them is that women don't usually seek out younger men, they get approached by them
I completely agree...although I do have to wonder if it's based on Frued's concept...lol
the older men are the ones taking it seriously, and less interested in women their own age overall. Some refuse to date their own age, causing a sort of hypocrisy.
Older men do tend to want younger women, and younger women can appreciate the maturity, experience, and wisdom in an older man...!
So younger men seek older women,
Younger women are sought by older men.
This being the case it is only natural for older women to have to consider looking in the other direction as well....(or younger men for that matter).... have to go where the pickins are good...!!  | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:46:51 AM |
Hmmmm...going to respectfully disagree with you there. Based on the forums here it's all about the young tight muscular bodies. No different from why men seek younger women. Except probably not for their muscles.
Myself, my friends, most of the women I know and quite a few here have said that looks only go so far with younger guys. We still find young tight muscular bodies attractive as we did when we were younger, but now there's got to be something beyond that going on when it comes to being able to have a conversation. The fact that we like them in good shape doesn't even begin to mean we want em stupid. Most of us have already been there done that, and specifically avoid it at this stage of life. | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:47:20 AM | "One of the implications is that older men seeking out younger women do so because they want an easy relationship that they can control as opposed to a relationship with an equal."
I dont completely buy that one...My impression is that a lot of the guys that I know simply have a preference for somebody without kids (even the ones that have kids themselves)...going younger is one way around that or even slightly older with kids out of the nest or close to it... | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:54:44 AM | I dont know of one woman that has dated or married a man/boy significantly younger than her. I do however know quite a few men who have married women 10-15 years younger than him. They are usually young women in their early 20's or late teens and are generally not all that fiancially or emotionally stable. Why the double standard? IMO, there is a very big difference between the two, the younger man cannot get pregnant and be financially and emotionally dependant on the older woman, most women arent looking for a young boy to fullfill their wish of a "traditional" man to stay at home and keep her castle for her.
To me both scenarios are pretty revolting to me. Adults are supposed to look after the younguns, not use them to our advantage. I do not subscribe to the attitude that once they turn 18 they are "adults" and are fair game. | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:40:40 AM | It's not a double standard, I don't think. I think both dirty old men and cougars are sort of laughing stocks, aren't they?
The way I see it, if an older person is going after arm candy/beefcake in order to "prove" that s/he still "has it", it's sad. If you truly like the 20 yr old (unfathomable, frankly, in my opinion), it's not sad and pathetic. It just is. So, to me, it's the same whether you're and aging man trying to prove his virility or an aging woman trying to prove her sexuality--it's all strange to me. But that's because I talk to my partners.
Also, to me, all bets are off if the "target" of your affection is over 30. So, if you're 57 1/2 going after a 30 yr old, you're NOT a dirty old man or a cougar. | |
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| Why are there double standards concerning age differences?
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:02:20 PM | So younger men seek older women,
Younger women are sought by older men.
Your explanation doesn't hold a lot of water - what you are saying basically comes down to the fact that, generally speaking, men do the seeking - nothing revealing in that. | |
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