| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:11:35 PM | I've been on summer vacation in a land far, far away from my home.
Met this guy, don't think there was too much of an immediate attraction although I did think he was slightly cute. We hung out a lot for two months. It recently came out he really likes me now, and I've confessed to having similar feelings for him (although all of the nice things he said about liking me certainly strengthened my feelings). Unfortunately, I'm leaving in less than a week.
I'm 23 and he's 26 and we both have limited dating experience (he has more than me) and we're painfully shy around people we're attracted to, at least when it comes to revealing that attraction. Plus he came down with a flu like two days after telling me he liked me (grr)
I'm wondering whether it would be better to let the attraction linger... with the thought maybe it would be there at some point in the future were we to meet again, or else try to do something, maybe at least makeout if he gets better or whatever (though a little worried about my technique because I haven't kissed anyone for two years) If he gets better tomorrow, we'd only have 3 days left.
Basically, I don't want to kill the friendship, but I don't want to kill the attraction either. I'd like there to be a chance for the future, even if we don't see each other for another year or two.
Advice? | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:17:45 PM | dang that's cynical.
I don't know about him, of course, but actually I'm someone who tends to keep my feelings for my friends even if I don't see them for a long period of time. I always want to see them again. And we are living in a far more globalized world than we once were -facebook and all that.
I don't think it would exactly be 3 days of "hot sex" though, as I don't really have a lot of experience in that realm. That's why I was thinking of keeping things tamer. Don't want him to just remember me as sucking in bed, after all. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:23:59 PM | OP: Life is too damn short - enjoy what you have in front of you, and let the rest play out. Not sure how far you two are from one another, but there are ways to keep the friendship alive (communication-wise) if nothing else.
ENJOY!!!! | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:39:16 PM | Odds are you're never going to see each other again, and even if you do, you'll both be in different places in your life.
I agree with Steve. It may be cynical but he is right on the money. If you want to have a little fun go for it but what kind of relationship could you really have? The cold electronic pixels of facebook are nothing compared to the warm touch of a person. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:49:49 PM | well yeah, I'm not suggesting a LTR.
The options are:
friends for three days and then long-distance friends
OR
hookup a little for three days and then long-distance friends
I'm not assuming we'll never see each other again, though. Just can't. I mean, we get along really well and opened up to each other in a way I think neither of us do terribly often. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:09:51 PM |
I don't think it would exactly be 3 days of "hot sex" though, as I don't really have a lot of experience in that realm.
It's worth a shot. If you pull it off it is likely that he will never forget you.
Long distance friendships typically fade away.
Just my $.02... | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:27:30 PM | OP...
make the next three days about you...
enjoy his company...
have mad, passionate sex...
you may just learn something you did not know about yourself!
Make it all about you...make it a vacation you will always remember!
Be safe!
~crazylove | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:38:12 PM |
I don't think it would exactly be 3 days of "hot sex" though, as I don't really have a lot of experience in that realm. It's worth a shot. If you pull it off it is likely that he will never forget you.
It's true!
I had an almost vacation fling in the early nineties and he still talks about me fondly.
My friend ended up marrying his friend so that's how I know.
I'm not assuming we'll never see each other again, though. Just can't. I mean, we get along really well and opened up to each other in a way I think neither of us do terribly often.
You never know but people come into your life for a reason...enjoy the connection!
Have some fun! | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:49:44 PM |
well yeah, I'm not suggesting a LTR.
The options are:
friends for three days and then long-distance friends
OR
hookup a little for three days and then long-distance friends
Either is fine in my book but it really depends on how comfortable you are with the later if you want to consider than an option. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 1:51:56 PM | OP... It sounds like you have little as you say or no experience? No one here can make up your moral mind. Some are older and give you their advise based on their life and most guys just think hey its sex, go do him and you'll be happy.
You have to live with your decision and don't judge your self as being bad or good. If you kiss him and whisper to him you think you'd like to go further but are not experienced he should take the initiative to be gentle and understanding with you. If not then thank god for not letting you go through with it.
In any case it would be hard for a young woman like yourself to go two years in a new place without some guy putting a twinkle in your eye. Unless your going to a womans prison then you better get it while you can.
So go with what your morales tell you and not some guy that has none. Some people can go from one bed to another without another thought. Can you?
Just my 2 cents. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:06:34 PM | Idk I'd go for it BUT idk what does everybody mean by life's too short....what is it that you do that's longer than life?
P.S. like the 2nd poster said,"You'll never see each other again" idc (I don't care) if you see him two or even three months later the person that you say good bye to will be lost to you forever as the person he says good bye to. you two SHOULD be growing exponentially each and every day so to pontificate in the here in now is just another lesson in futility in its most simple form....
Good Luck  | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:11:30 PM | I won't be a totally different person 2 months from now. Probably not even 1 yr from now. Don't be silly. I know myself, at least.
And woody,
Morality is not the issue. It's about experience and sexual ability and attraction, that's all. I have reason to believe that in my past guys have thought I wasn't that into them, when actually I was just inexperienced and awkward in bed. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:32:34 PM | The holiday romance is one of the most wonderful things in existence. I've had three in my lifetime (at 24, 33, and 46), and they were all immensely positive, life-transforming events. The glow of a really good one can last for decades. I would advise never passing up an opportunity like this.
Too bad about the flu, though. I got the flu once, and it aborted what would have been a fourth. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:47:29 PM | | friends are everywhere. but friends you can hump, now that's kinda rare. if you lose a friendship, make a new one. easy as that. so just hump his brains out and make friends with your mailman. it's all good | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/19/2009 7:44:39 PM |
I've been on summer vacation in a land far, far away from my home.
And you plan on never travelling again.......?Or.....[gasp]....inviting the boy to travel to you possibly? | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:00:16 AM | OP... If the morality isn't an issue then I see no problem. As you can see everyone here is saying trying to keep in touch is good intentions but after just a month or so of being in touch won't make it a couple years long distance relationship.
But you dig the guy and haven't much time. Don't waste it here. Go experiment with him and enjoy yourself. If you are comfortable with him don't be afraid to do what you need to do to get off. He'll like it better then if you were just there and tried to cover yourself. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:47:58 AM | And you plan on never travelling again.......?Or.....[gasp]....inviting the boy to travel to you possibly?
Not at all. That's why I was disagreeing with the people who said I'd probably never see him again, thank you snarky.
That being said, we are talking like other-side-of-the-globe far, far away.
woody,
I feel like you still don't get it, man. I'm not embarassed about my body, I'm not conservative or concerned about morality. I just think guys these days tend to have certain standards for female performance in bed. It's always the older guys who seem totally unaware of this as a concern, so I can only assume it's a generational thing. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:04:03 AM |
It's about experience and sexual ability and attraction, that's all. I have reason to believe that in my past guys have thought I wasn't that into them, when actually I was just inexperienced and awkward in bed.
I just think guys these days tend to have certain standards for female performance in bed.
If you're so worried about being inexperienced, there's only one way to fix that, and that's to get some experience. Have your little fling, if something more comes in the future then good for you, if not then at least you had a fun fling for 3 days. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:24:07 AM | Why do you need to hook up? Just have fun. Having fun doesn't always mean having sex.
As you said, you may or may not see each other again, enjoy it for what it is right now.
I've been in this situation. It's something I look back fondly on now. | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:20:47 AM | Actually, BOTH options have something to be said for them.
Trust me, he won't remember you as "sucking in bed". Except in a good way.
But, either way, you'll have a little memory that makes you smile...either at the fun and passion, or at the "might have been."
For myself, I'd say "go for it".... | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:05:07 AM | why cant people just go with the flow?? Why must they always over think EVERYTHING??
You are leaving in a few days! So make the most of the time you have together. If something happens then so be it. If it doesnt, then that is ok too.
The reality is....YOU ARE LEAVING! you probably wont see him again. SO..
Do you want to be intimate with him knowing it is a one time thing?
Or do you want to enjoy time together, laugh and play and just live for each moment till it is time for you to go?
Both things have their pros and cons! What will you be able to handle better?
If you are intimate with him and then you go home, will you be able to stay in contact via..eg. Facebook, where you will be seeing his life move on without you? See him have other women in his life. Will you be able to be happy for him when this happens?
Or you can have fun now and stay in contact somehow until it fizzels out.
Face it! This guy is not going to wait for you if you live far away.
best wishes which ever you decide to do | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:59:03 AM | ok, lemme clear this up - you're thinking about it too much -
It's not so much a generational thing, it that as you gain more experience you realize what is important and what is not.
The older guys know better - that's why we seem totally unconcerned with it.
Now, given that - here's the simple rule with sex - do what you're comfortable with, and you enjoy. Feel free to experiment. The only way you get it wrong is when you're not enjoying it.
Long term, yes, if you're a very vanilla type person and he's not, he may get bored with sex.
That's not what we're talking about here - he digs you, you obviously dig him (to the point that you're worried about leaving a bad impression) - enjoy your time fully.
Sex hasn't changed, trust me.
He isn't going to be rating your performance - he's going to be tickled shitless that he's having sex with you! Don't worry about your performance, you'll be fine! | |
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| 3 days... worth starting something?
Posted: 8/20/2009 11:17:58 AM | He isn't going to be rating your performance - he's going to be tickled shitless that he's having sex with you! Don't worry about your performance, you'll be fine!
Then please explain to me the couple of guys who hooked up with me but seemed disinterested in going all the way? Or doing it again? If it wasn't about me not getting them off, I don't know what it was...
There are inexperienced girls who are naturally gifted with the mail, erm, instrument. I'd say my sister is one, but I am not. Some of theses threads are filled with guys complaining that some women give bad blowjobs or are bad in bed. Don't tell me it doesn't exist... | |
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