| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 4:28:31 PM | Since I work in case management (with clients booked from 8-4:30 every 30 minutes all day long), it's difficult for me to take time off. When I'm off it puts a burden on my coworkers (there are three of us in this program), as they have schedules just as hectic as mine.
My oldest is never sick, but my youngest seems to catch everything. I'm so nervous to take time off, as it angers my coworkers and manager to the point that I get shunned for days when I have a day off. One other coworker is a single mom too, but her daughter is 15, one has no children, and one is married with two children. I am a single mother with a 6 yr old and a 1 yr old.
I'm so scared to take time off that one time I tried to medicate the baby myself with over the counter cough and cold medicine and tylenol when I thought he had a cold, but he didn't get any better after three days so I took him to the doctor and they admitted him to the hospital for two days with pnuemonia. I felt like crap. My kids should come first, but let's face it...I've got to have this job to provide for them. By going to work everyday, I AM putting my kids first.
I've been called into the office and firmly told that I am neglecting my job by taking time off. The baby was sick Monday. I got a call from his daycare. My mom happened to be off work, so I had to BEG her to go get him for me so that I could finish out my day at work. Tuesday he woke up with a fever but I medicated him and sent him to daycare. Today he woke up and OBVIOUSLY was very sick, so I had to call in to work. Took him to the dr. and he has strep throat. Which is contagious and he can't return to daycare until he's been medicated for 24 hours.
My mom is rarely available to watch my children, as she works full time and is my father's caregiver (he is very sick and nearing his last days). My sister works full-time and all my friends work full time day jobs. I rarely have anyone who can watch my children when they're not able to attend school or daycare.
It really puts me in a bind. I got a drs. note stating that I took the baby to the dr. today, but I'm going to be treated like crap at work for the next week and have to hear snide comments from co workers that I "skipped" work, as if I was lounging around the house eating bon bons and watching soap operas as opposed to taking my baby to the doctor, going to the grocery store for some juice and soft foods he can eat with his strep throat, filling his prescription, and taking him back home and nursing him back to health. Yea, that's quite the vacaction, huh?
Due to a staff meeting today, I didn't have many clients scheduled, therefore, my co workers had very little slack to pick up from me. When I was called in to the office and told off for having days off with my sick child (for which I provided documentation that he was admitted to the hospital for two days and could not return to daycare for 5 days as he was sick with pneumonia), I was told by my manager that I needed a plan B and plan C for childcare when my kids are sick. Sounds blissful, but my reality is that I am plan A, B, C through Z.
Do you any of you have plans B and C for childcare issues? | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 4:46:37 PM |
Tuesday he woke up with a fever but I medicated him and sent him to daycare
Hmm... Gee, ever think how your kid got sick? Maybe because some woman sent her kid off to daycare with a fever...? Maybe you kept your job another day, maybe some other woman won't because your kid might get her kid sick.... A fever is a serious sign of illness... you don't send a kid off to daycare to deal with it....
I realise it is your job you're trying so hard to hang onto... but unfortunately self-medicating a child often delays illness and makes them drag on longer or get worse...
If you cannot handle work and raising the child then you must obviously find a solution....
Short of having more backup people/services, I really don't have much of a solution for you... you may have to quit work and put your child first for a while....
A suggestion might be to look into a day care faclity that is close to work as opposed to home.... allowing shorter distaces/travel time if you do have to leave... might mitigate part of the porblem... | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 4:52:07 PM | I hear you, m_church. I'm not proud of myself for sending the baby to daycare sick. But, boy, I really feel backed against a wall here and pressure from every direction, as I know a lot of single moms do as well. It sucks! I'm literaly hanging onto this job with both hands and I feel it slipping away due to this. And I make decent money here, and will not find a job making this much in this area if I lose this job.
... you may have to quit work and put your child first for a while....
I wish, wish, wish this was an option. But I have no other income. If I quit work, then I'd be living on the streets with my children. So, that will not be happening...ever. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:07:10 PM | | I'm a single mom of two.I do child care from my home..One lady I did child care for she brought her daughter over didnt tell me her daughter was very sick.My kids got sick for two weeks.I had to be up all night doing laundry,bathing,cleaning out buckets and bring down fevers. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:13:17 PM | I get called in a couple of times a year due to my absences from work. My daughter would get sick at least once a month. Grandma could only take her so many days, and her dad couldn't help that much.
Daycare used to make me so angry, I'd get called to come get her because she was coughing(she had allergy induced asthma that caused her coughing fits) she would have no other symptoms. She would have the same cough for weeks. One day I lost it on the daycare staff when I picked the kids up, because 3 children there had green runny noses and bad coughs...yet they got to stay. Baby girl had a chronic cough that wasn't from a cold or flu, wasn't contagious and I had to come get her at least twice a month.
Kids in daycare get sick often because of all the new bacterias they are exposed to. It takes time for her immune system to build itself up, it took Katie just over a year before she stopped getting sick all the time. I also started her on an immunity vitamin to help her along, and it has really helped. Definitely something to look into.
I would call around and see if you can't find a grandmotherly type lady who would be willing to take your kids when they are too sick for daycare. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:21:15 PM | | The pediatrician told me today that daycare kids "typically" get sick 9 times in a 12 month period. That's ridiculous. The pediatrician also told me to put him on an immunity vitamin to see if that helps. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:22:26 PM | | I dont mind watching other peoples kids well they are sick.I think its the parents responsiblity to tell the child care workers their child is sick.If the mom told me her daughter was sick when she dropped her off I wouldnt of had a problem with it. I had the suprise of her child pukin all over my home..If I known she was ill I would of had her resting in one of the bedrooms. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:24:57 PM | | I agree n8tvsweetness. I'd never send a child to daycare vomiting. Fevers at this age are iffy. I never dreamed he had strep throat (he had a bit of an ear infection too). He didn't even act like he had a sore throat. He had no runny nose or cough. He had no obvious symptom except the fever. So, I was sorta hoping it was his two year molars. But it couldn't be that simple, could it? Blah. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:54:03 PM | Did your child just start at daycare? Children who are just beginning daycare can be pretty much constantly sick for up to 6 months while their immune systems adjust to all the new strains of bacteria, all the other children who also get sent to daycare ill (whether the parents know it or not).
I might be able to give you some advice for backups...does your city have a child care referral agency (On Vancouver Island its called Pacificare)? They have lists of child care centers that suit a variety of needs. They might be able to help you find a family day care center (very small groups of children, could be just the owners children plus 2-3 others?)or personal care giver (nanny etc) that can take your child when s/he can't go to the regular daycare. What about a well qualified baby sitter? Before I became an ECE I did short-notice caregiving for an acquaintance of mine.
Another piece of advice...don't let your co-workers bully you about having/needing/WANTING to look after your sick child. You as a parent (and as a person really) have the right to take EMERGENCY time off from work, and still keep your job without prejudices! You're providing documentation that you're not skipping out...your child was in the hospital...it's not like you went to get a manicure! | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:59:20 PM | luvs2bme,
At your work you are given so many sick days a year, and so many vacation days, right? It is the same for your co-workers. Are you saying that you are using up MORE than your allotted days off for sickness and vacation?
If you ARE using MORE than your allotted time off, here is an idea:
See if it is ok for you to take on extra work from a co worker or two so that they can have some time off, so they will not be upset that you are getting more time away from work than they are. This way the work still gets done and everyone is treated fairly.
If you ARE NOT using more than your allotted time off, here is an idea:
Have a private meeting with your supervisor and tell him or her to STFU. You are using days off that you had coming to you anyway, and you have to care for your children. You aren't doing anything wrong. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:09:38 PM | | Yes, unfortunately I have used more than my allotted sick days. The first time I was called into the office and officially written up for time off, I had vacation time left. I've since used all my time with J having hand, foot, and mouth TWICE (could not return to daycare until he was no longer contagious both times), chicken pox (he got this regardless of having the immunization), a bacterial throat infection (can't remember the name of it), pneumonia (from which he ended up becoming very sick and I took four days off total), pink eye, and now strep throat. Heaven forbid my six year old or myself get sick...the baby gets way sick enough for the THREE of us! But, seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do? It's very frustrating. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:11:25 PM |
But, seriously, what the hell am I supposed to do? It's very frustrating.
Did you read my suggestion? | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:13:38 PM | | Yes! And I will definitely talk to my manager and three coworkers to arrange to take some extra duties. I actually had unofficially done that on my own, as I'm so paranoid about them being mad at me for taking days off when I need them. I was hoping they would notice. And it's not as if they never take time off, because they do. Friday I was the ONLY one in our program there that day. Phew...I ran my booty off. But I will brainstorm and see how I can help them out to take some vacation as well. Thanks! | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:16:09 PM | Lots of people do in-home daycare, and depending on the person, some might only have 2 or 3 kids to look after. They'd be a little bit better equipped to deal with a sick child than a regularl daycare because the regular daycare has way more than 2 or 3 kids to look after.
I'd look in your local newspaper. Lots of people around here advertise their in-home child care in our local newspaper. It might be less expensive as well. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:19:12 PM |
Yes! And I will definitely talk to my manager and three coworkers to arrange to take some extra duties. I actually had unofficially done that on my own, as I'm so paranoid about them being mad at me for taking days off when I need them. I was hoping they would notice. And it's not as if they never take time off, because they do. Friday I was the ONLY one in our program there that day. Phew...I ran my booty off. But I will brainstorm and see how I can help them out to take some vacation as well. Thanks!
You are welcome, I'm glad I could help a teeny bit. You are smart to do this officially, because most people do NOT see other people going above and beyond, they only see when you aren't there. It is human nature, unfortunately.
Just like when you aren't at work, it's because of a child's illness or some other serious, unavoidable issue. Many people don't see that, they only see that you aren't there, and they only know that they are doing more work. Human nature again. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:27:33 PM | When I had my second son I got someone in the house. It cost about the same for me to send my boys to a day care as to have someone watch them in the house. This meant that unless they were really sick, I didn't have to take off work.
My cousin used to have a great day care that had a "sick room" for those children that were sick. That was really great. The woman that watched the children was fabulous. She was so organized and great with the kids. Never met another woman like her. I would check into different day cares. You might get lucky and find one that does have the "sick room." | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:44:02 PM | | i am a single mom who now that my kids are both school aged i am trying to re-enter the work force. i am having a very hard time finding child care at all. i have to rely on day care subsidy which where i live will pay $22 per child per day for a lisenced daycare facility, but for a private unlisenced in home daycare, or to hire a sitter to come into my home they will only pay $2.50 per hour ($2 for the first child 50 cents per additional child) who in their right mind is going to work for that? until i aquire full time work i cannot afford to top that amount up to make it worth somebody's while. All of the lisenced facilities in my city are full with waiting lists that are several years long. my kids are on waiting lists at literally every place in town. I have one child who is perfectly healthy and another who is epileptic, mind you she has not had a major seizure in about 3 years but i worry about what i will do once i find work in the event of an emergency.... i dont care how good the money is my child comes first, that being said once i aquire a job i do not want to end up back on assistance because i took the time to attend to my child's health needs. Where i live it is hard enough to find childcare solution A let alone a plan B or plan C. I can soooo relate to your fustration and worry. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:04:29 PM | | Definitely sounds like a very frustrating experience and I wish I had some form of advice for you. My daughter is not in daycare as of yet, and wont be until January at the earliest or at the latest next September, when I start college. And even then, I have a few options for people who could take her if she's sick and can't go too daycare. Definitely look into maybe switching to an at home day care. The people who are working at home as said before, generally care for less children and may be more equipped to taking your child, with how often he is sick. I wish you the best though, hopefully he doesn't continue on like this for long. I was the same way when I was a kid, and I'm surprised my mom didn't lose it on the doctors who said there was nothing wrong with me. I grew out of it as I became older, so hopefully he does as well. Again best of luck. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:19:03 PM | OP, don't know whether you are a lapsed or practicing Catholic but that is the first place I would start, check with the your local church, protestant churches, many have retired parishioners that would probably love being your back-up babysitter. Many would probably be more than willing to trade the babysitting for the joy of caring for a child and/or you and your children spending a little time with them now and again.
I know you need the job but are there no others in your field? Working with people that are asshats isn't worth it and personally, with the grief they are giving you I would look outside your trained field, many positions that pay well require a degree only, not in any particular field such as many positions in municipal government. Also in addition to future's suggestion, until you find a new gig, is there any of the work that you can do at home?
Do some pre-interviews by phone, paperwork that you can push at the house, etc. Yannow, I really hated reading this thread because I have worked places where people were constantly looking over my shoulder, looking for me to screw up, would have a heart attack if you were out sick. Once, in three decades of employment did I work for someone that told me he appreciated me going home because he thought it was stupid to make sick people come to work because all they did was pass the illness around the co-workers causing more people to be sick for longer times.
OP, I would also speak to your daycare, unless your child actually has immune issues, I suspect that he is getting sick so often because the daycare isn't being properly sanitized on a daily basis. My daughter wasn't sick until she went to daycare because she was in the house most of the time and when we were out visiting my old job, where she would be passed around for an hour or more, people that were sick would pass on a snuggle with the kid, duh. So yes, it is natural for a child to wind up sick after being exposed to other ankle biters because they are around more germs. But my daughter never had anything more than common cold type stuff. I didn't even know that people still got hoof and mouth. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:21:53 PM |
I'm so scared to take time off that one time I tried to medicate the baby myself with over the counter cough and cold medicine
In October 2007, the FDA recommended that no over-the-counter pediatric cough and cold medicines be administered to children under age 2 due to the risk of serious and life-threatening side effects including rapid heart rates, convulsions and loss of consciousness. The American Academy of Pediatrics has extended this to recommended against using them in children under age 3 unless advised by a doctor. | |
|
tass08
|
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 21 | |
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:38:59 AM | | Look around for backup babysitters where you live. In this economy there are probably plenty of neighbors or friends of friends who would be willing to take care of your kids on "fever days." My daughter used to spike a fever all the time, usually with no other symptoms but it was her daycare's policy to send kids home for 24 hours with a fever --- so I'd get a call at 3pm saying she's got to go, which would mean I'd have to take that afternoon plus the next day off, and she felt fine! But that's just part of the deal when you're on your own with little ones. Finally I asked a SAHD neighbor if he'd be my backup babysitter on those days, and he was happy to. I only needed to use him a few times, as she was outgrowing her fever phase by then, but it was a good solution. | |
|
tass08
|
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 22 | |
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:42:55 AM |
I know you need the job but are there no others in your field? Working with people that are asshats isn't worth it and personally, with the grief they are giving you I would look outside your trained field, many positions that pay well require a degree only, not in any particular field such as many positions in municipal government. You know, they're not asshats if they hired her to do a job and she's not there reliably to get it done. The OP said she understood the dilemma her situation was putting her coworkers and organization into --- management has an obligation to all the staff to maintain a working environment where everyone is pulling their own weight. She was asking about how to pull her own weight given her family situation, not about how to make it all her boss's fault. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:29:27 AM | I am both a mum and a child care worker and see both sides of the coin. I feel very bad calling a full time working parent if their child has a communicable disease (vomiting, diarrhoea, conjunctivitis.. high temp (we can no longer administer panadol) even nits!!) knowing we compromise the parent every time. However- my response is that we are responsible for every child we care for, so how can we be asked to expose all our kids to the illness of one? I'd love to see an in-home care system for kids who should not be in general day care but don't need to be isolated- but who would want to run such a thing??
Its a real conundrum, and I loathe that the OP is being subjected to pressure from work which is basically saying she should choose work or children. They get a massive  | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:43:48 AM | Check with your local hospital, typically the peds wing, and see if they offer sick child care. It's basically day care for children who are too sick to go to their regular daycare.
I was much in the same boat as you when my children were younger.
It was an absolute Godsend when I found out our hospital has this. Basically the nurses and aides take care of the children during normal daycare hours (like 6-6 I believe). So not only do you have an emergency back up but you know your child is being cared for by a health care professional.
The only downside of it is that it is very, very expensive. Double (if not a bit more) of a normal daycare charge for a day. Also, you have to sign them up the day before. So not much good the day of, but will prevent you from missing several days. I'm sure missing one day is more favorable than missing many. | |
|
| Childcare issues
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:20:15 AM | Management also has an obligation to hire enough people to adequately distribute the workload, and it doesn't sound remotely like this place is properly staffed. From the sound of it, they need at least one more or probably more like two or more employees to handle what they are dealing with. The OP mentioned trying to mitigate the situation and of course, no one noticed or commented when she was taking on more than her share of the workload.
I realize that most agencies are understaffed and underfunded, my first job was with a non-profit, and I have also worked in municipal government so I am quite familiar with the drill. But the OP also indicated that she had tried to take on extra so that if someone DID have to cover for her, they wouldn't get their noses out of joint. Tearing her butt up rather than recognizing that she has an issue with the child and they can all sit and figure it out together, is an asshat in my book. The boss that ripped her a new one for her absences could just as easily said, I know you are in a difficult situation but it is putting us in a difficult situation, how can we resolve this issue so that you can be a good mother and a good employee?
I have worked for both types of people. The type that take the time to help figure out a solution, which is beneficial for the organization because employee turnover is costly, also have more productive employees. I have an odd job, I have studied management, marketing, strategic management, and read a gazillion case studies as well as total quality management, etc. I know what the experts say and I now from my personal experience that when a place is understaffed, if you have a good manager you will bust your butt to make the situation work, manager who is a douche, not so much.
Many people go through a period with their kids when they are sick, etc., they usually pass and the organization whether non-profit or business or government agency is better off keeping the person that is dealing with this type of situation than training someone else, which makes them an ineffective employee for how long? This is stupid business so in addition to lacking compassion, her supervisor has her (his?) head jammed up her/his rear. | |
|
Home
login 
