| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:57:42 AM | So I decided to check out "the competition". It seems most guys have short, boring profiles which are very plain. I know my profile is unique if nothing else. I made a few changes this evening.
I want genuine and effective feedback from my target audience.
I am looking for some honest thoughts and opinions from beautiful women, as they are the target of my interest.
Best wishes and happy, fortunate fishing to all.
Matty-D | |
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djd
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Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 2 | |
| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:09:33 AM | I would start with a haircut.
Then I would take a real good look at what you're expecting to find with that profile.
Beautiful women only?
Out here in the real world all the women are beautiful in some way.
Next, check your grammar. You could copy all of the text in your profile and paste into word (if you have it) or Open Office or whatever text editor you have that has a grammar check.
I know mine isn't perfect either, but I think the only thing that makes your profile unique is the guy in your picture.
Aside from that, there are literally millions of dudes in exactly the same boat. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:18:31 AM | | I don't think you're actually allowed to seek responses from particular groups or types of people, even if they are the 'target audience'. Read the forum post rules. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:56:26 AM | I don't know if I qualify as a 'beautiful woman' but since this is an open forum I'll post anyway....
If you have major baggage, if you're sexually repressed or have issues with men don't contact me. .
Take this out....for obvious reasons
If I had to sum myself up in one word it would be "Arch-Angel" - the ideal mix of good and bad. Cars are a passion for me. A few years ago I achieved one of my goals; I imported a Nissan Skyline (sports car) from Japan and look forward to doing so again. I'm all about making myself better. I'm not a self improvement freak but well yes, I am a self improvement freak. Deal with it. I like it how my life and how I feel about my life get better every day..
Remove the sentences about cars or put it someplace else...it just doesn't make sense here in this paragraph.
Also, telling us to "Deal with it"??? WTF?
You don't sound like a nice person at all. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:17:45 AM | I don't know how unique that profile really is, it sounds like a slew of others. Reminds me of a throw-away line from the movie 'Spinal Tap'. They were called the 'Originals' in their early days, but another band was already using the name, so they became 'The New Originals'.
The hair, that's another story. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:56:35 AM | Wow, ok, since it's evident that you have no shortage of self-confidence, allow me. And no, you cannot target a specific group of people for a profile review, nor will most people respect a request to do so.
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If you have major baggage, if you're sexually repressed or have issues with men don't contact me.
As stated above, delete. No explanation should be required.
If I had to sum myself up in one word it would be "Arch-Angel" - the ideal mix of good and bad. Cars are a passion for me.
You mean, you're "20% angel 80% devil, down to earth ain't afraid to get a little engine grease under [his] fingernails"? Thanks, Vin Diesel.
A few years ago I achieved one of my goals; I imported a Nissan Skyline (sports car) from Japan and look forward to doing so again.
I really don't mean to be overly critical here, but one of your "goals" was to import a car from Japan? All that requires is money and a medium amount of effort in paperwork. I'm going to stick with my Vin Diesel comment above...are you trying to reshoot The Fast and the Furious?
I'm all about making myself better. I'm not a self improvement freak but well yes, I am a self improvement freak.
Your profile shouldn't be a stream-of-consciousness insight into what's going through your head at the time you wrote it. This includes saying things then "correcting yourself". This isn't conversation.
Deal with it.
Wow, edgy. Delete.
I like it how my life and how I feel about my life get better every day.
You need to look at the structure (or lack thereof) of this sentence.
Everything in life is an adventure if that is what you truly desire. Whether I am traveling across the country or just to the grocery store I make sure to laugh and have a fun adventure.
Cliche. Nobody actually turns every trip into the grocery store into an "adventure", if for no other reason than if everything's an adventure, then *nothing* is.
*-*Some of my best qualities*-*
Witty, charming and funny
Maybe you are, but you don't come off that way in this profile.
Spontaneous, easy going and truly one of a kind
The irony here is that nearly everyone says this.
Confident and decisive forerunner
Give details as to how exactly you're a "forerunner". Importing a car doesn't count, even if it's just because there have been plenty of Skyline's imported (relatively speaking). You're certainly not the first.
A great sense of humor - a women who can make me laugh and not just laugh at my jokes.
Woman, not women. Unless you're looking for a threesome (or more).
Also you should call me on my bullsh!t.
This doesn't appear to be something you'll have a problem finding.
*-* An interesting personality *-* This is something I seem to have a tough time finding. Is it tough to find a beautiful women with a great personality? Or is it just difficult to for a woman to maintain my interest? I thought it was men who have difficulty keeping up with witty banter...
Wow, this makes you sound like an arrogant ass. Remove this entirely, don't try to rework it. The thought that it conveys would make you look like just as much of an ass as the way you put it here does.
I prefer brunets who are 5'6"
Specific much? Don't put things in your profile that will unnecessarily restrict the women who message you. In fact, don't expect women to message you. They certainly won't do it just because they fit what you want physically.
You interpret "fair use laws" to include "pool hoping" as perfectly acceptable.
Pool hoping? Is that when you sit around hoping for a pool to show up? Or did you mean "hopping"?
You enjoy cars - you do not need to know anything about them to like them, but it sure helps.
You have a penchant for expressing what you want in a very douchey way. Make this sound less condescending.
P.S. In case you have not noticed I have a mild over-confidence. Yes I am picky, but I know what I am worth and what I deserve.
Mild. Funny. Delete.
I do not go on dates. There is some stigma about a date which is usually "not good". I do from time to time take an interesting & attractive women out to do something fun where we share some memorable laughs, intelligent conversation and have a great time.
How witty to say you "don't go on dates", then go on to describe exactly what a date is. This isn't insightful. This isn't how you want to be "different".
I usually start with a cup of tea. That way if you are a wacko I can leave after 20 minutes. If you seem cool odds are I have something else planned.
"That way [when you see I'm] a wacko [you] can leave after 20 minutes."
There, fixed that for you.
Just a comment - The movie "Inglorious B*stards" looks great.
If you want to put a random comment in there (which I don't recommend), put it in your "About Me". | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:27:19 AM | | Adam, Adam, Adam. You're doing it again. It's a bit unethical, helping the trainwrecks of this site put on disguises. Save your most excellent advice and editing skills for the good ones! This guy doesn't have a couple of warts that need some makeup, he's an arse. Think of the poor women! | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 6:53:12 AM | Snark,
I had looked at this profile earlier and when I see one this unrealistic I figure that it is a prank of some sort so I do not bother to make comments.
Adam,
You do a good job when reviewing! Don’t waste your good efforts on the a$$es.
Ron | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 9:48:02 AM | OP-All I can say is wow! It is unfortunate you are limiting yourself so drastically to the world of amazing women out there. While 5'6" brunettes are definitely a choice there are so many others that its just not funny. You make your chances of finding the right person so MUCH slimmer!
While it is a wonderful thing to be self confident and know what you want, your profile makes you look like a self-righteous jerk, thus limiting your chances even more.
But since I am a 5'8" redhead my opinion probably doesn't matter.
Good Luck finding your needle.
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djd
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Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 11 | |
| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:14:03 PM | See?
r3dh3adang3l is a great example on the kind of wonderful that you're missing out on.
Has the OP every been with a redhead?
Or a blond?
Heck, has he ever been with a woman at all?
I know I already responded to this thread but I can't seem to get over it.
Yes, it's that shocking. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/20/2009 12:57:10 PM | Thanks djd!!
Oh, and OP-you REALLY need to do something with your hair!!! Coming from someone with lots of body and curl in their hair, there is product out there to tame even the most wild of locks!!
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/23/2009 7:47:52 PM | "Has the OP every been with a redhead?
Or a blond?
Heck, has he ever been with a woman at all?" ~ djd
This may have been the funniest thing I have heard all summer. I could learn a thing or two about comedy from you. I have not been with a NATURAL redhead. I have been with women with blond (natural and dyed), brown and black hair - several of each [including a couple coors light maxim caddies]. One way or another my profile grabs attention and is memorable. To me, that is a great thing.
Yes I am long overdue for a trim. I am growing it out, but it needs some shape.
~ Tracyannk ~ Yes you do qualify. "If you have major baggage, if you're sexually repressed or have issues with men don't contact me. . " It's a filter. It tend to keep the aforementioned women away. It seems to work quite well.
Adamsguitar ~ thanks for the feedback man. Wow I had some horrible grammar through editing, and poor composition.
RedheadAngel ~ RE: The needle - The only fix I crave is Adrenalin.
Interesting feedback all  | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/23/2009 8:15:03 PM | As Tracyannk put, I don't know if I "qualify" to answer, but beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.
If you want an honest opinion, your profile comes off pretentious. Pretentious in layterms is often interpretated as confidence without cause. While I applaud your self-confidence and "filter"methods -- which you have convinced yourself as being what's keeping the women away... This isn't a profile that would catch my attention and be memorable in a way that would encourage me to message... at all.
The profiles that seem to be the most attention grabbing are the subtly confident profiles with witty sarcasm and charisma. Your profile lacks any charm or humourous wit. In fact, it screams "complex" and "***hole".
I am not going to contest the number of women you've been with or think enjoy this sort of profile or even extend my personal thoughts on your attractiveness to me because all of that is besides the point. The point is: feedback regarding your profile and all I have to say is: if it's working for you, great. It doesn't do it for me (for the reasons listed above).
Cheers. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/23/2009 8:37:18 PM | Go back and read chapter 7 (specifically page 50)
"when you are interacting with people online, you can never, ever draw the line on the
confidence meter ... as long as you are being playful."
If you think you are being playful ... you aren't. You really do come off as a dipsh*t. If you were that confident you wouldn't need help reviewing your profile. Before you can be confident in your profile you need to be ... well CONFIDENT.
P.S. Throw away all of the copies of "The Pickup Artist" that you taped on your VCR.
Bryan | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/23/2009 10:14:30 PM | I do need to inject some more humor into my profile, this seems painfully obvious. But I can't bring myself to throw out any tapes. I have no clue where to find new blank Beta-max tapes.
Confidence in myself (whom I have known my whole life), and confidence in my second online profile are very different things. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:34:50 PM | You need to relax and stop trying to come off so tough.
You're like the guy making his way through a bar, walking past women, because no one is "hot" enough for you.
If you want to get laid, forget this.
If you want a real person to care about you, you have to show you can care, and I wouldn't get all elaborate, but jeesh, you sound like the guy that worked in the next cubicle near me and I couldn't stand it.
Get rid of societal trends, standards, and expectations. | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/24/2009 1:13:00 AM |
...I have been with women with blond (natural and dyed), brown and black hair - several of each...
I don't believe a word of it!
You haven't got a hope in hell of getting yourself any kind of woman on here (or anywhere else!) with that dreadful profile!
Honestly buddy - get real!
Enough said.
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/24/2009 8:36:33 AM | You just made my day - now that I'm done laughing my arse off, I can get back to work. That was some really funny sh*t!
Just out of curiousity, what are you a student of exactly? Womanizing?? I'd like to see the grades you're getting for that (or not)!
I'd really like to see the original profile you put up that you had to "fix"!
Good luck my friend! | |
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| Feedback wanted from BEAUTIFUL women
Posted: 8/24/2009 9:22:37 AM | | OP-The needle I refer to is "needle in a haystack" and if that wasn't obvious you are not only ridiculously over confident you are NOT very bright. Which lowers your chances even more. Good grief!! | |
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