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 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 1
Deal BreakersPage 1 of 1    
You are chatting to some one here that you find reasonably attractive and seems nice but not blowing you away, conversation is kinda dull, what you into bla blah blah. For me if they have dodgy taste in music i kinda make a judgement that we are going to be incompatible... I think taste in music can tell a lot about a person if they are into mainstream I reckon they are mainstream and I'm always interested in someone a little different with an interesting perspective and life experience. Am I being shallow? what are your deal breakers??
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 2
Deal Breakers
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:48:10 AM
Nah... judging someone because they like a certain genre of music is totally not shallow. It's perfectly fine. My deal breaker happens to be about music as well! I don't like people that listen to Mozart or Beethoven or any classically arranged music because there's no words in them! Ha! People that listen to these guys are so lazy they would rather listen to instruments than listen to spoken lyrics and trying to figure out the hidden meaning behind the songs. If I listen to rap, the message is clear: rob people and have sex with black girls. If I listen to Mozart, the piano is not conveying any meaningful language vital in communication terms. If you're mad at someone are you going to tell them you're mad or are you going to play a piano at them? This is what I think about you without using words: F-sharp, E7 sus 4, D seventh, F-sharp diminished fifth, and to top it off G-minor sixth baby!
 Dolores111
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 3
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Deal Breakers
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:37:35 AM
Of course the music matters, you can get some insight into anyone’s heart by their love of music...any music in fact, you might get down to deciding you are even socially incompatible by that discovery that they start to show some humanity listening to Mozart, ZZ Top or if you are really unlucky Cliff Richards, nevertheless it does display something about an individual. I’m almost of the mind that a glimpse at someone’s Mp3 player list is wee glance at the DNA of the soul....profound garbage eh...but still....
 MalaSam
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 4
Deal Breakers
Posted: 8/20/2009 8:22:48 AM
Hhhmmm cant say that music is a deal breaker for myself, I have such a varied taste in music....like from PearlJam to 2pac to Take That, I know Ive just shot myself in the foot by all you music snobs (kidding)

Nah, a deal breaker for me is sexual inuendoes, asking for a msn/phone number/date too soon, or a negative attitude.

Also I get annoyed with guys who dont bother to read my profile, so if I know they havent read it I call them out ont it, I respect it when they can admit to just looking at the pic, but If not, thats a deal breaker.
 Minieme
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 5
Deal Breakers
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:04:04 PM
Malasam:

Very same myself! Second, Third msg... My mobile is.... come on... it screams desperation if im honest!!

Then theres the questions that the answers are clearly on your profile

Where are the chatty men
 davlaa
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 6
Deal Breakers
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:29:47 AM
Smoking - does my tits right in! Musically I dont mind too much if someones interests are a little different to mine, it just means that the iPod dock will have to be shared! A passing interest in some sports is a must!
 Minieme
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 7
Deal Breakers
Posted: 8/22/2009 2:43:03 PM
Smoking seems to be a huge thing alrite!!

 liklelolly
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 8
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:42:28 AM
poor personal hygiene!!!!
 zendy
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 9
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/4/2009 7:33:24 AM
I think scenicgirl and winteragain are nuts.What kind of world do we live in where people get judged by what kind of music they listen to?these are two closed minded individuals.
 Irish_Guy28
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 10
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:35:39 PM
And you girl`s wonder why you are single...?
get real you will end up a sad and lonely women unless you discard such rediculous standards of judging people.
 justlittlestaryme
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 11
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Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:02:01 PM
Ridiculous standards?

Whats ridiculous? I dont see any major judgments being passed? Are you referring to a paticular post or just having a rant and tarring all women with the sad and lonely brush?
 DaVincibro
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 12
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:40:58 PM

You are chatting to some one here that you find reasonably attractive and seems nice but not blowing you away, conversation is kinda dull, what you into bla blah blah. For me if they have dodgy taste in music i kinda make a judgement that we are going to be incompatible... I think taste in music can tell a lot about a person if they are into mainstream I reckon they are mainstream and I'm always interested in someone a little different with an interesting perspective and life experience. Am I being shallow? what are your deal breakers?


SGirl You're hitting the nail right on the head as usual. You might want to stop doing that. Men are threatened by intelligent women. The fact that someone may or may not be chatty using this medium may mean the opposite in real life. Text based written communication is like being able to draw. That someone can draw faces well does not tell you anything about how well you might get on with them sexually.
Music is just the same. If someone tells you they are into Jazz that doesn't tell you anything in itself. But it might mean they will take you somewhere you would not other wise have gone. They may be the very person you would get on with because it might be that they are open minded and listening to Jazz in order to find out what other people see in it. (I tried it and it's shite )

Someone that's only into mainstream music might also be a bit of a sheep who just goes with whats popular because they are afraid to think independently. That the kind of person might be the type that if you get on really well with socially and sexually will drop you because his mates don't like you.

If you do tend too much toward someone who has the exact same tastes as you then that can be a loss. A guy who likes what you like in music is never going to broaden your horizons. He's never going to bring you to an opera or a classical concert or open up any new avenues for you. He's never going to suprise you by steering you to a cafe in Colonge where, in the open air, a pianist is playing Beethovens Fifth on a grand piano or swish you off to see Carmina Burana in Earlsfort Terrace.
 navbabe
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 13
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Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/19/2009 3:49:59 PM
ok for me theres a couple of things....
these short emails...oh i love your profile...i really wanna get ot know you..heres my number blah blah blah
this kinda stuff is a bit tooooooo much so i wont reply cos to me they are prob just after a quick....you know what. and thats NOT going to happen

then you get the really really long emails...where you nearly know what he had fro breakfast lunch dinner and tea that day plus all about his family etc eetc etc heres my msn addy....eh no thanks...it sounds like a scam

then i have emails....oh i totally would....i made the mistake of replying to this once...wasnt caught like that again

the ones i like are

hi how you, i looked at your profile, why dont you check mine, i think we might get along, hope to hear from you
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 14
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/20/2009 6:56:34 AM
DaVincibro
thanks for kind words. But I wont be playing it dumb to keep the boys happy! And i agree about your sheep comments. of course I didnt mean guys who have the same taste as me exactly, that would be so boring, just someone who has an eclectic range of musical tastes, even if I'm not keen on some its better than hearing a compilation of recent chart hits or old faves such as GnR and the like.
 Grisensnable
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 15
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Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/20/2009 3:02:32 PM

You are chatting to some one here that you find reasonably attractive and seems nice but not blowing you away, conversation is kinda dull, what you into bla blah blah. For me if they have dodgy taste in music i kinda make a judgement that we are going to be incompatible...

Well, it's the perfect excuse if you are already finding someone dull to turn around and tell them that their taste in music leaves a lot to be desired, so if it comes to that, I don't see why you shouldn't use it as an 'it's not you, it's me' type of escape route - go for it!

I think taste in music can tell a lot about a person if they are into mainstream I reckon they are mainstream and I'm always interested in someone a little different with an interesting perspective and life experience. Am I being shallow? what are your deal breakers??

I think it would be shallow to have an expectation of someone to be quirky enough to have a taste in music which transcends the mainstream - what if the only thing they appreciate is obscure music which you've never heard of and sounds like crap when you finally listen to what they've sent you downline or which you've googled?

What do you say then...something like " given your taste in music, it is obvious you are a psychotic maniac and I don't wish to converse with you anymore"?

Taste in music isn't something that you were born with, it's something you were influenced to enjoy through memories, peer pressure, parental influences, culture..I once found myself having a wonderful conversation with my then 16 year old son's schoolmate of the same age, it turned out her dad is the same age as me and her single greatest influence on the kind of music she listened came through him, she was a big fan of Frank Zappa, Ian Dury and the Blockheads..all sorts of people from the era which most influenced her own father, it all lived on in her - I call it the 'referencibility tangent'.

I finally became embarrassed at hogging all her attention because I was enjoying her amusing banter from my son so I had to cut the conversation short and disappear but honestly it was like she had lived my teenagehood along with me, happily she introduced me to some music she thought I would love by contemporary artists.

But, whilst myself and my son's BFF at school may well have been compatible as an ever loving couple, I doubt anybody would have given us the green light to pursue a romantic relationship.
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 16
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/20/2009 3:14:04 PM
ok the fact that you spent most of this post talking about your sons girlfriend is just weird.

But apart from that, you completely contradicted yourself, you state shared experience cultural and otherwise, memories and peer influence etc. is the reason why a lot of people develop similar tastes in music, are these not also good reasons why people are compatible for a relationship.
 Grisensnable
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 17
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Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/20/2009 3:43:58 PM

ok the fact that you spent most of this post talking about your sons girlfriend is just weird.

Most of my post? Are you trying to imply that I am some kind of sexual deviant because I attempted to point out to you that it is possible to enjoy good banter about music and to get the references within along with a teenage female who simply reminded me of me at her age, due to her intelligent interpretation of the music she likes to listen to?

Taste in music isn't something that you were born with, it's something you were influenced to enjoy through memories, peer pressure, parental influences, culture..

I think that you will find I didn't contradict myself in the least, all I did was confess to having a wonderful time reminiscing music wise with someone who hadn't even grown up with the music which was an integral influence on my own life - people please us on various levels, I don't see how taste in music should inform one of how romantically or sexually compatible two complete strangers could be together.

I know it's good to have lots in common and appreciate the same kind of things should you wish to pursue a relationship with someone but I don't get how one aspect of a person could be the deciding factor, particularly when that aspect of them can be enjoyed very well on a platonic level so easily?

where am I going wrong in expressing what I am thinking if you can so easily resort to picturing me as weird then?

To me, your interpretation of what I wrote is very strange and odd.
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 18
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/20/2009 4:00:09 PM
jeeze i wish people didnt take themselves so seriously on these forums.
 Grisensnable
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 19
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Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/20/2009 4:17:35 PM

jeeze i wish people didnt take themselves so seriously on these forums.

It would be very opportune if you could maybe see to it that you could elaborate on this point and also your previous post ..thanks..

And what am I not supposed to be taking too seriously about myself .....don't tell me that your accusation of me being weird should be laughed off by me in relation to the post you responded to and stated was mostly full up of weirdness?

The suggestion that my weirdness was borne of being some kind of paedophile or as an abuser of young minds was quite tacit IMO, or should I be laughing my head off at your incredible wit?
 maryj53
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 20
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/20/2009 5:27:24 PM
I just want to say , if someone told me they loved Daniel O'Donnell i would run a mile . Nothing in the world would make me want to share time with them , just in case they put on a CD of that eejit.
 scenicgirl1
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 21
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:35:02 PM
IrishBrennan, I seem to have hit a nerve. I am not insinuating anything, i just thought it was a little weird and made for uncomfortable reading for me. A grown man using a 16 year old girl and his possible compatibility, just to illustrate a point, is probably unwise.

But apart from that your argument is totally flawed, you say we are not born with taste in music, yet go on to describe how she got her taste from her father, ok not born with it, but near enough, she was probably litening to his music in the womb.

You also say it would be shallow to judge someone if they are into mainstream, yet you illustrate perfectly how good it feels to find someone with similar taste.

So you have actually proven my point.

And as for taking yourself seriously, if someone says something to offend or annoy me on these threads I usually just leave a short response, or ignore it. ie I dont take it too seriously, its some strangers opinion and I wont let it get to me.
 cinderfcknrella
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 22
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:46:10 PM

But, whilst myself and my son's BFF at school may well have been compatible as an ever loving couple, I doubt anybody would have given us the green light to pursue a romantic relationship.


OMG, that is just so fooken wrong.................the fact that you even thought about it........says it all!!
 Grisensnable
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 23
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Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/23/2009 3:42:48 PM

IrishBrennan, I seem to have hit a nerve. I am not insinuating anything, i just thought it was a little weird and made for uncomfortable reading for me. A grown man using a 16 year old girl and his possible compatibility, just to illustrate a point, is probably unwise.

The name is IRISBRENNAN not IrishBrennan and if you looked at my profile you would see that I am female. You most certainly did not hit a nerve with me but apparently I hit one with you were you felt compelled to backtrack on your sleazy opinion about my post which didn't agree with your point of view, you suggested that I was mistaken to take my own self seriously and what I posted because you wrote something which I had no need to feel slightly defensive about...

It's only words and I really don't mind what you come up with in defense of your already established opinion about the lack of connection you feel with people who don't enjoy the same music as you...I was simply offering a different point of view, which was honest but also about contributing to further discussion of the topic at hand.

You suggested something inappropriate about me as a person which I am absolutely entitled to question with regard to figuring out exactly where your mindset lies.... You are not a parent are you? also, you have said on this forum that you are a social worker, I can only conclude from the information you have previously given about your profession etc. that you were abusing or were guilty of reading far too much into an innocent woman/mother's retelling of her experience as a qualification for the paranoia you are exhorted to believe as gospel when it comes to second guessing or imagining if someone has an unnatural interest in young adults.

I'm a mother of teenagers, my life is wrapped up in theirs, I am doing my best to guide them in the right direction..I have been open on this forum about a brief experience I had in order to emphasise my point that you can relate to all ages on various levels but to denigrate one on the basis that they don't gell with you in taste in music is not a reason to cross them off your list of potential friends...



But, whilst myself and my son's BFF at school may well have been compatible as an ever loving couple, I doubt anybody would have given us the green light to pursue a romantic relationship.

OMG, that is just so fooken wrong.................the fact that you even thought about it........says it all!!

rubbish!!

I know who you are and you know who I am ..both of us mothers of teens...reread what I posted on here and do not do it thinking ****y thoughts about me...and dear lady do not forget the nasty things which have been suggested about you by tw@ts, supposedly you are a teller of tall stories and you cannot possibly be a real human being...so you trying to be nasty to me is very very wrong when I have made a point of letting people know that they were completely wrong about their view of you.

If your comment was you just teasing me ..fine but, I have a feeling there might be more behind it..I'd love you to tell me, hand on heart, no word of a lie that I didn't speak the truth when I said that it's very easy to banter away with someone without imagining there could be anything more about it other than you just get on well together..my point was that we should be more open with each other and not have 'deal breakers' when they are based on superficial quantities influencing how far we take a friendship or romance...

I really don't see what I am supposed to be guilty of here other than (in my mind) of being a bit sensible or having upset someone somehow???
 missx3
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 24
Deal Breakers
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:48:28 PM
Wow! It isn't always about words.. as a musician myself, it is so easy to write words, that's the easy way out .. now, composing a symphony? Hmm.. not so easy, is it? Try it sometime and see. Instrumental music creates pictures and images in the mind that lyrics do not. Not that I am into classical, it is rather boring to me but you have to admit has some crashingly good drama in the crescendos .. la la la!!!!!!!
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