| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:21:45 PM | I'm just wondering how do I go about asking a girl out. Guys feel free to comment as well.
Let's take a hypothetical situation.
I'm at a bus stop,coffee shop,restaurant, etc and I see a lady that catches me eye. She's alone doing her thing and I approach to chat. Now, how should I approach(to know I'm not pissing her off), what should I usually talk about(preferably what topics are taboo and what aren't) and how long should I chat with her before asking for a phone number(What should I suggest as a reason for her to give me her phone number)?
And finally, what kind of "vibes" do you give when you're actually interested in a guy that introduced himself to you.
That's like a billion questions but I'm just a mess at trying to ask a woman out and would like any advice on the subject. I'd say my biggest weakness is being unable to read the, at least to me, confusing messages women give out when they aren't interested and it doesn't end well.  | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:29:10 PM | OP:
Make random banter that makes her laugh and feel comfortable with you. Ask if she'd like to have a casual coffee sometime - if she says yes - give her YOUR number.
Cheers. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:32:56 PM | Just watch out for the "friends" comment. (yeah us guys do it to women too). Read the following that I saw on another site and don't get caught in this.
Subject: But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them
But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them
BY KIMBERLY PRUITT
I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?
I knew you would understand. You always do.
We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me **** about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.
It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.
No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.
Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.
Plus, idk, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.
Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.
Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other ***hole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.
Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
Best friends. Friends forever.
__________________ | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:38:07 PM | Well Dude...my grandpa once said... girls are like stray cats, even though they're starving...they want to be chased and courted....all you have to do is use the right bait, and you'll have them eating out of your hands.
Based on your example... just something that's related to your current surroundings...like, it's hot out here...if you're at a bus stop.
Her response will be the key to your next move. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:57:20 PM | Topics: Keep it light. The weather, how good the food is at the restaurant, the recent tragic celebrity death (haha) etc.
Length of chat: I think she'll know within 5 minutes if she wants to talk to/see you again. Maybe say something like, "Well, I have to get going, but would you like to continue this another time?" And girls are all different in terms of if they would rather take your number or give you theirs. For me, I prefer the guy calls me because I'm a bit old-fashioned. But I have no problem telling a guy that if he wants to give me his number. To be less threatening, offer her your number first.
Vibe: If I'm interested I smile a lot and make good eye-contact. If I want you to leave me alone, I play with my phone, flip through my planner, look around etc. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 12:59:38 PM | Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it
Watch out for those words too.God knows how many times I had to hear it.It is nothing but staight up B.S.It is just a nice way for a woman,that is turning you down,say "F**k You,You Are Not Good Enough For Me" | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:04:09 PM | I started to laugh until I read...
Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.
Then I cried a little inside. Oh god...unpleasant truths...they pain me. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:05:30 PM | | See that's where the problem lays...and we as the receivers of that line let it go. It's not that we aren't good enough...it's that they aren't good enough. They are afraid that they might actually have fun getting to know you better. It's their loss not yours when you get turned down. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:08:01 PM | Wow, no girl has ever said anything like that to me !
So dude....has your heart...rotted ?
Are you really the Grimm Reaper ? | |
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Sezkin
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Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 10 | |
| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 1:36:27 PM | | Be yourself. If for example the situation is at the busstop, ask for the time and when the next bus is coming. I got chatted up by a guy that way and was happy to have a conversation. x | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:05:55 PM | Just start a conversation with her like you would anyone else. Based on her body language, and her willingness to continue the conversation, you can gauge random conversation from interest.
Ask her about anything you two have in common. Obviously you don't know her so at first it has to be the place you're both standing in and the activity going on there.
Coffeehouse-coffee
Bar - band/drinks/area
Store - products, when you go, other stores
Bookstore - books, authors, subjects, etc
Then intro yourself and tell her you'd like to talk again over coffee, drinks, ice cream, whatever. Exchange numbers.
It's not that we aren't good enough...it's that they aren't good enough. They are afraid that they might actually have fun getting to know you better. It's their loss not yours when you get turned down.
I bet that sounds really good when someone's not interested. However, when I haven't been interested, I haven't really thought twice about it, and I'm sure neither does someone who's not interested in me. It's no one's loss - it's simply a lack of attraction and a mismatch. If we expect everyone we talk to to fall over and follow us home, dating will be extremely frustrating. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:18:23 PM | | Ask her if she takes her coffee with or w/o date rape drugs. If see sayz with of course, then invite her over to your place for coffee. Gawd this post is so wrong, I should hit the delete button, or the back space button, or any button but the post button. errrrrrrrrrrr ( struggles az his pointer moves towards da post button ) errrrrrrrrr. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 2:37:55 PM | | Cynicism is rampant. Why does everything have to be so freakin' complicated. Just ask her out for coffee or something similar. Just do it. You're overthinking this to death and shutting down your spontaneity. Good luck, you'll do just fine. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 4:12:38 PM | Well its complicated, because women are complicated.. and sneaky.. and enigmatic. :)
I'm not great at walking up to women "cold", but the best way IMO is always with humor, and many times something that is not said directly to her.
I was in the line at the sandwich shop and this woman was taking a few seconds to decide what to order so I said (to my friends).. "Man I always get stuck behind the slow pokes!". Now the kind of woman I like will turn around and fire back some comment. which this woman did. I didn't end up asking for her number but I could have. You do want to be careful that your joke is not too over-board. But the more serious the person the better it usually works.
When I'm with my dog and I see a woman with a small dog, I'll turn to my dog and say.. "No Marcel, you already had two of those for breakfast"... or I might say to her.. "Don't worry.. he won't eat your dog, he had two Chihuahuas this morning for breakfast and he's still full". | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:36:42 PM | Dude:
You have gotten some good feedback here (some not so good). The best came from KaKaKaKatie.
I do not profess to be good at this thing when as a matter of fact – just the opposite. I just quit caring about possible rejection a long time ago.
I have always been able to start a brief conversation and if you haven’t start talking to everyone just to get comfortable doing that – its actually fun. The difference here is that you have a defined objective and an anticipated outcome.
Look, if you want to send a clear signal to that person that caused that “wow-thought”, try this: First, make some form of eye contact – more than a couple of seconds it is worth taking the shot. Then, just approach her and ask the time or something. People always are willing to do that - then be honest and say you didn’t need the time, you have a watch, and that that was all you could come up with to make sure that you could speak with her.
From there, KaKaKaKatie has it right, within thirty seconds, you’ll both know.
You humor is dead on – if you can’t find the same things humorous, it will be challenging. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:39:53 PM | | PS - I blow at this online thing. I'd rather approach someone in person versus electronically anytime. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:47:44 PM | | Keep it simple like( nice shoes, want to go get a coffee ?) I was going to say something else but I am trying to be nice( nice shoes wanna ?) | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:07:38 PM |
I'm at a bus stop,coffee shop,restaurant, etc and I see a lady that catches me eye. She's alone doing her thing and I approach to chat. Now, how should I approach(to know I'm not pissing her off), what should I usually talk about(preferably what topics are taboo and what aren't) and how long should I chat with her before asking for a phone number(What should I suggest as a reason for her to give me her phone number)?
And finally, what kind of "vibes" do you give when you're actually interested in a guy that introduced himself to you.
- First of all, don't be afraid of rejection or pissing her off. If she doesn't say anything back, just think there's another one coming along like busses.
- You don't want to show interest right away, especially if you're gonna use a lame pick up line such as: "I lost my number, can I get yours?" Open up by saying something about a celebrity, like michael jackson's death, or ask for her opinion about something that went awry in a friends relationship. Don't approach girls at night at a bus station.
- Before you ask for her number, make sure you build interest and that she's comfortable with you. Be honest by saying "hey, you look like a cool girl. I'd like to call you some time and maybe meet for a drink some day" Girls like when men have b@!!$.
Women are very smart and will know that you're approaching them with interest. Usa body language, voice tone, etc.
Good luck | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:28:44 PM | Smile at her, if she smiles back, ask her for coffee. She will say either yes or no. Not so difficult really.
Do women mind if someone asks? Of course not.
I was in the library one day, and when I bent over to pull a book of the shelf, a guy sitting on the other side reading the newspaper whimpered. I wasn't surprised when the next time I saw him at the library he asked me out. It's good to know I've still got it. Of course I said yes. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:58:11 PM | I was on an elevator leaving work and we just started talking, we exited the elevator and went in different directions. He stopped about 15 feet away from me, and turned back and said, I really enjoyed talking to you, would you like to have lunch some time? I said yes, we both walked back and met in the middle and exchanged business cards. I was not at all attracted to this guy, but we did have a connection so I said OK without hesitation and I felt very comfortable and safe so it was OK. Lunch was a disaster he got way too close, too fast and after lunch he called my office about twelve times... scary.
Another time I was at the world series on a date. I was having a great time with my date, and there was a single ticket guy(STG) sitting next to me, he and I AND my date talked through the game. When I went to the bathroom and came out STG was waiting for me. He said I really had a great time talking with you, you are a lot of fun, are you serious with this guy, pause, have you been together long?...I said it's our fourth date (I was stunned) ...pause, in that case I'd love to take you out sometime, here's my card with my number. Please call me, and he left before the game was over. Who leaves the world series? I went back and told my date was happened, and he was annoyed, but got over it quick enough....I guess I should have kept it to myself, and I never called him.
There have been other times, usually at business functions where I've been asked out right off the bat, too forward, and commenting on my looks, using a ruse never works for me because it makes me uncomfortable.
I've had lots of conversations but I don't follow through, I guess I'm a little old fashion. | |
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| How to ask a woman out?
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:51:30 PM | | lol well tonight i got a text saying... hey wana F__k tonight that would be a bad way he got told to go find a hooker ahahaha | |
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