| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:50:42 PM | deceived you in the good bye mode?
He was special until the day I found out he lied to me as to the reason to leave. Besides that he was a good company for me during my troubled days, weeks and months at home.
I want to forget him or rather erase him from my mind...I don't think it is possible...is there an exercise to totally wipe him off my "memory log sheet"?
For all those who wonder...I am married and he was a special friend to me for over a year.
Thank you and this is not a self pity or attention seeking just trying to get some ideas that might help. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:52:56 PM | Shock treatments.
Otherwise you just have to let time heal your heart.
Sucks but it's true.
Good luck,
Beth | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 7:57:55 PM | If you can't afford the shock treatments You could put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it everytime you think of him.
Why are you on a "singles site" if you are married? | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:01:46 PM | Thanks Beth and AnP's for yr advise....I think I'd use the rubber band in lieu of the real shocks.
I am on this site because I want to and I am free to be. Sorry for my answer but this is how I feel about it. Im not Saint Mary or Satan....just an average Jane with average life issues. | |
|
| |
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:22:12 PM | Rosia, I believe people come into our lives for a reason, he was there for you when you needed him the most, perhaps someone else needs him now, just like you needed him.  | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:31:00 PM | Sorry, but you're going to have to give it time. Thats the only medicine. The good news is that you can speed up the process. Instead of just waiting for it to happen, switch up your day. If you've already got a full plate, then move some things around at different times or start doing something time consuming in the times you start thinking of him.
If you've got free time to spare, go get involved in other stuff. Volunteer, take a class in school, TEACH a class, or just pick up a new hobby. Something that occupies your thoughts. The more ideas and thoughts you have pre-occupying you, the less you will think about him.
Sometimes you'll still think about him and as long as he calls or contacts you, you will always be drawn back to him. But when you get focused on your own life more, you won't think about him as much. Before you know it, you won't be thinking about him nearly as much and when you do, he'll just be a passing memory.
Good luck,
Adylia
  | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:37:29 PM | | It's all about what you really want, what your priorities are and why you want to forget him or not. We are not a slaves to our emotions, we make the decisions. Until you really want to change your thoughts, you won't. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:40:51 PM |
It's all about what you really want, what your priorities are and why you want to forget him or not. We are not a slaves to our emotions, we make the decisions. Until you really want to change your thoughts, you won't.
100% agreed. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:41:35 PM | Well, you could voluntarily throw yourself in front of a bus and hope to God that you just knock your head hard enough to have a serious enough concussion that you'll forget but you might end up killing yourself. Buses hurt! Just ask my X boyfriend...NO, I didn't throw him out in the front of it, he actually got hit by one on his bike and forgot everything, including how to eat, walk and all over skills till he relearned everything.
Anyway, why am I talking about this?
Oh yeah...OP...sounds like you miss him. It's okay to miss someone. Just feel the feelings and let them pass. You won't blow up, explode or go off on a postal tirade...I promise. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:43:19 PM | I truly thank you each and all for the input....gather all the advice I definitely feel Im more on control of my thoughts and strength to forget or forgive if there was anything to forgive him for.
I knew I could gop to POF forums and get some useful input.....
Just came back from a 40 day vacation in Peru after celebrating my Mom's 80th birthday. It also helped me with the grieving process as I was away from home and could use the time to cry when I needed to. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:44:52 PM | alydia said it perfectly--time and keeping busy. And the time thing is not a fun thing to hear or go through. I would not allow any contact with him--it just prolongs the pain.
If you are married and here, it sounds like you have some things going on that should be keeping you busy anyway.
And good for you!, Forty days is a good start and a good number too. I wish you the best of luck dealing with both things--this guy and whatever is going on at home.
| |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:44:59 PM |
For all those who wonder...I am married and he was a special friend to me for over a year.
So, rosiac, you have to 'splain this to us before we can advise. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 8:50:48 PM | Lil Brooker
How about my 21year marriage is about ended and trying to not fall apart. Is it such a big sin to trying and not feel so lonely? The specifics as to why I got this point are private and not to be disclosed in forums openly.
My question here to you all was a general one. Hope you can understand. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:11:03 PM |
How about my 21year marriage is about ended and trying to not fall apart. Is it such a big sin to trying and not feel so lonely? The specifics as to why I got this point are private and not to be disclosed in forums openly.
My question here to you all was a general one. Hope you can understand.
OP
There is never one bullet to completely heal from a heartbreak but I have done this before....and it worked.
I did a makeover on myself. Started working out obsessively, skin treatments, meditation, and eating like a yogi. In about 4 months I looked...unfreakin believable lol! Okay the only problem is my ex ran into me and DID NOT RECOGNIZE ME because I looked too hot. Of course he knew it was me and my ph0ne did not stop ringing for about a week after that hahaha! That in itself was enough to keep me satisfied. My objective was not revenge but somehow I got closure when he accidentally ran into me looking like a supermodel.
Good luck and remember, life is what you make it. | |
|
EXXA
|
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 16 | |
| |
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:24:22 PM | | Hi Rosiag, It takes time. When it just happened, you may feel too hard. Put more attention to other things and get more supports from friends and families. After some time, you will feel better and will meet a nice guy too! ^_* | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:39:30 PM | | Only in time can all things blur and fade give yourself time I helps to soften the blow. Healing will come from within. | |
|
womany
|
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 19 | |
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:59:55 PM | | Try HOT YOGA. Sweat a lot!!!!! Through physical exertion. Sorry I can't relate to the "special friend" while I was married bit. If I was married I wish my special friend was exclusive. How rare. I really think if you're are married and your spouse isn't that "special friend" then some one made a mistake. I did. It doesn't take much rope to hang some men. I'm glad this is not for self pity 'cause; damn, you might be deleted. Besides, are we in a 3rd world country. Not yet anyway. Not outsourced that much. Ha, and ha. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:10:16 PM | DeepLuv -- Way to go!!
I think you got some great advice. Also, I'm sure your vacation helped.
Someone once told me to write down everything that I wanted to say to that person. Cry, tear up the paper, stomp on it, whatever to get your feelings out while you write it. Light a fire and tear it up and throw it on the flames. I never did it, so I can't comment. I thought it sounded like a great idea.
Good luck! | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:22:04 PM | If your marriage is trying not to fall apart, whatever that means,
then you regroup and refocus your energy on it.
I can't help but to posit that your relationship with
your "special friend" did nothing for marital maintanence.
ps...you never forget, but the heartache diminshes in time. | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/23/2009 3:24:53 AM | For all those after message # 12 that I already have addressed earlier...Thank you for more great and useful advice.
I will definitely follow the self improvement advice. If I feel better about myself I will keep working on it and that will be my way of forgetting the sad things and focus on a happier future. Yes, all of you have empowered me to improve myself. I will push myself to exercise and take care of my eating habits. I will focus on remembering all the REAL, infinite and unconditional love I received from my family back home, I will keep myself busier and thank God and you all for being kind and generous with yr time giving me advice.
Yes I agree, the special friend has not done anything to improve my marital relationship, it was probably or surely a mistake that served me for a while but is hurting for another while. And yes at 50 I am still learning from my mistakes and I'm not embarrassed to admit this. Sometimes we chose the lesser evil or in other words make a wrong choice knowingly under limited options. Not trying to excuse myself, just trying to understand why I stuck to my special friend for a relatively long time. He did helped me stay a float .
Forgetting will only happen with time but I can live in a more positive way and that will help time do the job.
Have a great Sunday ! | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/24/2009 9:39:31 AM | Someone told me this:
"Sometimes a disappointment helps us see we don't have it all that bad..."
I guess this thought can help me forget faster as well....so I want to post it and share it with you all.
 | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/24/2009 9:43:32 AM | You *can* forget someone who hurt you if you want to forget - mind over matter. However if you feel you've unfinished business; things left unsaid, or things you wish you'd done but didn't... that's when the ex or whoever will come back to haunt you. But sometimes it pays to remember to learn next time, be more savvy. I only remember things about exes now if it helps to fuel me, and I can channel the energy in my own favour. Anything from the past which is not useful to me in the present is now disregarded. Like a filing system, only in your head.  | |
|
| How to forget someone that ......
Posted: 8/24/2009 9:54:39 AM | I agree with Lil. It would help to know more, but you refuse. Therefore the advice will be of limited quality. Was he a friend or lover? Did your hubby know? You don't need to answer, but if you are shocked about that guy lying while you cheat you hubby, there is a saying of how one's own medicine tastes. However, if your marriage is open, that may noy apply. See how details can change the bottom line? Also, I am not clear on how that guy lied to you.
Bottom line is that I cannot give you any advice. But I learned from a wise Turkish woman that nobody else can disappoint you - disappointment is the realization that your image of the other person was wrong. And YOU are responsible for the image you create. Perhaps that is a starting point: Say 'I was wrong with my assessment of who he was.' | |
|
Home
login 
