| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/23/2009 9:14:03 PM | So, I just about blew it...occasionally, my selfcenteredness and delight in my own wisdom just completely overcome common sense and I become monumentally stupid, without even realizing it. It took a week for her to come around...and I AIN'T the grovelling type.
(OK, the specifics in response to the below: My lady is twice widowed, her second having passed away in the same week as her first's birthday. Her second husband actually passed about three years ago, and this is really her first serious relationship since.
Well, that week came and passed, and she withdrew some...a natural sadness and something that was hers. Being me, and having some baggage of my own, I recast it around myself and assumed that she was withdrawing from me. To the extent that I told her that I, in my infinite wisdom, thought that maybe she wasn't ready to love again. Yeah- I ran when she really needed me to stand. I'm undeservedly lucky that she's offered me another chance.)
Ladies, has a man of yours ever demonstrated such idiocy with a single sentence that it just completely destroyed the relationship? Let us in on our own silliness, please. | |
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/23/2009 9:17:23 PM | Uh uh--you aren't getting away that easy without giving us the specifics.
And it seems that's my 10 for the day. Night everybody!
vvv Just a select few of us have the 10 count. | |
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/23/2009 9:34:26 PM | 10??? We're limited to 10 now? That sucks ass!!!
And OP.. yup.. some men are naturally gifted when it comes to messing up and opening their mouths or putting on their running shoes. I can't remember specifics right now... but I'm sure it's happened a few times to me. Have had some guys do stupid ass stuff BEFORE a relationship gets started.. | |
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/23/2009 10:31:20 PM | Single sentence does not destroy a healthy relationship. Especially if you come back with proper apologies. They consist of 4 (four) separate lines, and every line is important:
I'm sorry
Please forgive me
I will not do that again
What can I do to make you feel better?
Don't make excuses for youself. Just say those 4 lines and listen to what she has to say. If blamed and accused - you are permitted to repeat them. | |
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/24/2009 6:22:55 AM | That's exactly what I did...no reasons, no excuses...just accepted that I'd been stupid and asked to come back.
Then, once we'd established that I was an idiot, we let it drop while she worked on it; and spent the time we spent together talking about other things rather than worrying it to death.
Though I am aware that it is one more thing I'll not hear the end of... | |
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/24/2009 12:32:28 PM | Op do you like the taste of that foot in your mouth?
My advice: Count to 20, think then speak. It might save you a moment of stupidity.
I have had a 10 post limit for almost a month now | |
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/24/2009 3:12:15 PM | Twice that I can remember (2 different guys):
1. Him: "You should be calling me to check in everyday." My response was "Wow. That is so not going to happen and, in fact, I don't want to date you anymore." Followed by me saying, "Good bye." and then hanging up the phone.
2. Him: "I just stole sweaters from my boss because he was going to fire me." Me: "Don't ever call me again." Followed by me immediately hanging up the phone. | |
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/24/2009 5:32:52 PM | Oh I can think of a couple:
1. Him: "When I was younger, I did some crazy things with some guys." Me: "Do any of these 'crazy things' involve a weiner in your ass or your mouth?" The End
2. Him: "I don't know how to tell you this... that girl at my office [name withheld ] had a baby and it's mine." Me: "WTF?" The End
And to the OP... I hope you are bringing flowers to the lady you upset. | |
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pla*ce
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Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 12 | |
| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:46:52 PM |
My lady is twice widowed, her second having passed away in the same week as her first's birthday. Her second husband actually passed about three years ago.
whatch out boy, she could have you $$$ ensured and in not to long you could be gone too
it's extrange for two guys to be gone in closed dates ,you could be the next catch
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:56:26 PM | Well, my example isn't as dramatic as yours. Mine is more of the 'I woke up and smelled the coffee phenomena'. You know, the phenomena that should occur within the first 3 months, but instead it took nearly 2 years?
Ok, so this is how it went. It was 7 years ago. I picked him up from work. He complains about how his day was on the job, including how he had to take out the trash. I told him there was nothing wrong with taking out the trash, that everyone has done it at a job sometime or another. Then here it comes .... He responds, "But you don't understand ... I NEVER took out the trash at ANY job. That is so dehumanizing. Taking out the trash is the LOWEST thing anyone can do." [at this point, the clouds above me parted ... seriously ... and the heavens above shine down upon me and I heard angels in unison ... well not really, singing 'AHHHHHHHH']
I responded, "So that explains why you refused to take out the trash for the past 2 years." I gave myself a mental kick in my ass and suddenly understood all the questions I had placed out there in the universe about why I was having one crappy relationship after another, because now I had all the answers. A month later, I put his arse on a bus back to Cali. Cut my looses and moved on.
So that is the story of how a man of mine once demonstrated an act of idiocy with a single sentence ... for the last time.
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| Wait...what? Where are you going?
Posted: 8/25/2009 3:23:26 AM | Doooo tell us more details, as your time on this earth may be limited.
Yes to your question. A man can say things that can not be taken back.
A man can do things that let you know what he is really made of by his actions.
He can also show you what he is lacking by lack of action/consideration.
I can give a second chance, but rarely and it depends on the offending words or actions. A leopard rarely changes his spots after a certain age.
A good apology that is sincere when you have made a mistake is not groveling.
A man will admit/acknowledge when he knows something he has done, not done or said has affected the relationship in a negative manner. | |
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