| frog joke
Posted: 8/25/2009 7:46:34 AM | I read the frog joke about the woman having frog legs for dinner and thought I'd share this one with ya. If its a repost my appologies, I haven't been lurking as much lately with school back in session and stuff.
There was this guy in his late 40's who had a good job, made good money, and loved to play golf every chance he got. He was on his favorite hometown golf course one day and made a bad slice right towards the water hole. As the man was looking for his ball near the edge of the water he saw this frog. The frog looked at the man and said "kiss me and I'll become a beautiful princess.. gribbit". The man was amazed at this and looked at the frog and said "say that again" .. the frog repeated herself .. "kiss me and I'll become a beautiful princess". The man picked the frog up and put her in his shirt pocket thinking to check on the kiss thing later. The man continued looking for his lost ball, the frog said "ball over near rock" .. the man looked near the rock and sure enough, there it was. The man got to his ball and pulled out his 9 iron to take his swing. The frog said "no .. pitching wedge here". The man descided to try to frog's idea and pitched the ball to within inches of the hole. Thus began the best golf game of the man's life, the frog would tell him what club to use and would advise him on how the greens slopped and everything, it was awesome. So the man kept the frog as a good luck charm. A few weeks went by and the man took a buisiness trip to Vegas. The frog sat in his pocket and picked number after number at the crap tables, and called hit/stand correctly for a huge run at blackjack. The whole time the man had the frog every now and then the frog would say "kiss me, I'll become a beautiful princess". Well this man's run at the crap tables yeilded several thousand dollars, and the man took all his winnings in cash. He took his big pile of cash up to his suite and threw it in a pile on his bed. The frog and the man played in the pile of money and had a blast. The man descided it was time to try kissing the frog.. so he picked her up and kissed her. POOF!!! befor him stood, naked, the most beautiful 16 year old girl the man had ever seen ... AND THAT'S WHEN THE COPS BUSTED IN YOUR HONOR .. I SWEAR!!!
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| frog joke
Posted: 10/19/2009 2:33:06 PM | I guess this is as good a place as any to park this joke,
A man gets a boil on top of his head.The boil grows,one day it pops and there sits a frog.The man puts on a hat and goes to the doctor.The doctor says"may I help you"? The man takes off the hat and the frog says "yes will you please get this man off my ass"? | |
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| frog joke
Posted: 10/19/2009 3:09:51 PM | Once upon a time, there was a happy frog that lived by the lake. His name was Frank.
A young lady came to the lake, and asked Frank the frog to play with her. So he did. She said her name was “Princess”.
One day, Princess told Frank the frog she wanted him to wear a hat.
“You look so distinguished. “Said the Princess.
It made no sense to him, but it seemed to make her happy, so he tried to be accommodating. While she was nearby, he wore the hat, but he removed it whenever she went home.
Because frogs don’t wear hats.
One day, Princess showed up, unannounced, and was very disappointed to see that Frank the frog wasn’t wearing his hat. She cried, said “You’re no Prince! “And ran away, and found another frog to play with.
Frank threw away the hat. And once again, he was happy, quietly living by the lake, doing frog chores, and learning as much as he could by attending classes with a school of fish. He studied hard to become a very smart frog.
After a brief time, another young lady came to the lake, and asked Frank the frog to play with her. So he did. She also said her name was “Princess”.
“You’re kidding, right? “Said Frank. But she acted insulted, and insisted she be called “Princess”.
One day, Princess #2 told Frank the frog she wanted him to eat only fruits and veggies, and stop eating bugs.
“It’s disgusting. “Said Princess #2.
It made no sense to him, but it seemed to make her happy, so, again, despite his trepidation, he tried to be accommodating. While she was nearby, he would only eat vegetarian, but he ate bugs whenever she went home.
Because frogs are carnivores, and love bugs
One day, Princess#2 showed up, unannounced, and was very disappointed to see that Frank the frog was eating a bug. She cried, said “You’re no Prince! “And ran away, and found another frog to play with.
Frank wondered why these girls felt they needed to change him. And who the Heck said he was a Prince?
“No more Princesses for me,” said Frank. And once again, he was happy, living by the lake, doing frog chores. He made plans to expand his horizons, and learn as much as he could about the big world by going to other lakes, and ponds, and rivers. He did just that, and he met hundreds of creatures with many wonderful cultural experiences to be shared.
Once again, Frank was content to be back at his lake, spending his days doing frog chores, his spare time studying a number of interesting subjects, his nights blissfully sleeping. He was a very happy frog.
One morning, a group of ladies showed up at the pond, all claiming that they wanted to play with a frog.
Frank sat on a lily pad a safe distance from shore where they couldn’t reach him.
“Please come and play with us.” they said. “We are all looking for a happy frog just like you.”
“Of course you are.” said Frank. “What are your names, ladies?”
“Princess!” they all replied, in unison.
“Hold on a second.” said Frank. “I know where there are lots of frogs. Wait for me here. I’ll be right back.”
Frank went and hid under a log for several hours. While they were waiting, a few ladies found other frogs, some cried and said Frank was cruel, and others complained bitterly about Frank deceiving them. Eventually, they all left.
A few days later, a woman approached the pond. Frank swam out to the safe lily pad.
“Nice pond.” said the woman.
“I like it.” said Frank. “What’s your name?”
“Ariel.”
“Nice name,” said Frank. “Is your last name Princess, by any chance?”
“No.”
“Do you have any illusions that I may be a Prince.”
“No way!” laughed Ariel. “You’re a frog, right?”
“That’s right.” said Frank. ”I’m a frog.”
And thus began a wonderful friendship that lasted years and years.
Dear readers.
This story was written by a frog. Well, a man. But he had been called a frog, right to his face.
It is not about misogyny. It is about expectations.
There are 6 ½ billion people in the world.
There are maybe 100 actual princes out there.
You are more likely to win the lottery, or get hit by lightning, or get eaten by a rabid platypus, than have romantic involvement with a prince.
Also, most frogs aren’t wild about wearing hats and becoming vegetarians.
Ladies, we love you. We need you. We can’t wait to meet you.
Love, The Frogs
Hey, Princesses. Kiss our watertight butts. | |
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| frog joke
Posted: 10/20/2009 5:46:33 PM | Okay I couldn't resist. I mean no offense to anyone!
What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
"We do taste like chicken!" | |
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