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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/25/2009 7:47:41 AM | I know there have been threads like these, and yet they never get easier...
My 11 yr old doxie is dying from breast cancer that metastasized. I was feeling her ribs last night, and they feel like they are separating because of the cancer eating them away... Seen that hundreds of time with cancer in humans...
Sighhhhh, my daughter asked me what I was waiting for why not put her down before she really begins to hurt... I can't, not just yet. She still loves to go on walks, and wags her tail. She still runs a little, and enjoys a treat. However she is so much slower than she was several months ago...
She has done so much for me. Only asking to be well cared for, and to be loved and forgiven for all the crap I could have done without. The thousands of dollars over the past year in blankets, make up, stuffed animals, pillows and jackets, that she took a notion to chewing on.
The older dog that she injured through intense jealousy because she wanted to be with me...
I thought getting a new pup before her passing would help, it did, she loves the new one, and tolerates so much of her bad behavior towards her...
I know people who haven't had peoples don't get all that emotional over JUST A DOG, a pet... However we who have had pets, and shared life, the hardest moments, to the sweetest, they are just one more dear member of the family...
Sighhhh....
I know she will let me know when it is time...
When we will have to walk the "green mile", when her life will be to miserable to bear going on yet one more day... I hate to think I will once again be left behind, hoping that I did my best to make her life a good one...
She hates to see me cry, and she knows it is over her... LOL, Dog whisperer would scuff at the idea, but she knows, she has been with me for way to long not to know...
I just wonder where I will get the strength to go through that long walk... However I will get past the tears, and the empty part that will be left from her passing... | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:09:15 AM | O lady you had me in tears hun .... You have known this dog for a long time and that means you will know when to put her to sleep ...
Im sorry for what you are going threw ...  ...
AnglFlyn | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/25/2009 9:13:07 AM | Thanks anglflyn...
Fell on my face with this post... major typos, and incoherent jabberings...
Pets have a way of loving unconditionally. They can give love and attention and know when their beloved owner is down, and will stick by them for months to make sure that "mum" gets through it ok...
The dog we had before her did the same thing for our family...Live nine years and had to be put down because of pancreatic cancer... What the freak is it with cancer in my pets???
I see her watch me, and with her sad eyes, she most be struggling knowing how much we have been through. Worried if she takes her leave will mum be ok, will this new pup "Roxie" be able to do what she has been doing for 11 yrs...
My son was just two when we got Pepper (gal that is going)... My gosh he'd pick her up by the tail, of course we'd get on him, but she would just deal, look at him as if to say OK, you have me, ya want to let the tail go?
My ex and I share custody, so our son does the week to week exchange, and when he was here last week he cried into her fur, knowing what I know... I hadn't said anything to him, but he has the same deep love and connection with animals as I do...
My ex learned that dogs feel pain of loss, because when our first dog had taken "the last walk" Pepper wouldn't stop kissing her, wanting her to just be ok again... When we put her coffin in the ground, this two year old Doxie let out a cry that was so gut wrenching it tore all of us there that evening apart...
At the time she was trying to chew into Latte's coffin, my ex said she didn't know what was going on...
After that gut wrenching tears of agony from her, my ex had tear filled eyes, going "wow she knows exactly what is going on."
My SO is not a pet person, but from the year of being with us, he has learned to love pets. He fears that day when we have to walk the "green mile", I don't imagine he will even want to be there... He isn't experienced with death, and has spent a life time making sure not to be close to anyone long enough to have had to go through that kind of pain...
I often wonder why these pets lives are just so short, but then again they live a life time in that amount of time... Enduring the waiting for the family to get home... Getting sprayed in the face by a baby skunk ( told her to leave it alone)... Dig holes, her most favorite thing... Having fries in the car, and stealing food off the plate when she thinks nobody is looking...
Not kidding about the thousands of dollars of ruined make up, pillows, stuffed animals, blankets and comforters she has chewed up over the years... Thing I could NOT break her from was her love of lip stick, and chewing on things... New pup seems to be taking up where she will leave off...
The places in the heart that these little furry critters get is amazing, especially if you really let them in... I know my SO is wondering why I feel it is worth it... He has seen me completely melt down over losing all four c0cketails, two of which I raised by hand, day before Thanksgiving...
Life moves to fast... A reminder as to why we should enjoy the small moments, no matter how small, but gentle.... | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/25/2009 9:48:02 AM | Oh man. I wasn't expecting this story. You got me all choked up NextThyme.
It is so very hard to go through the love and the loss over and over again, but I think that's one of the most beautiful qualities of pet-loving people. They know they'll outlive their beloved pets over and over, but the love for those pets, while times are good and healthy, is so strong that it's worth the pain of the loss... to know you gave love and a home to an animal who may have otherwise never got to live a full life. It's a beautiful gift to give to a creature... the gift of life, family and love.
My cat is turning 8 this year and has had sinus problems for the last 2 years. Veterinarians can't figure out what the deal is, and every once in a while his nose is so stuffed the poor guy breathes through his mouth. He's by far the most loving cat I've ever known. When anyone comes over, they can see how much he loves me. He looks at me with these adoring eyes, cuddles up with me on my bed. When I'm sick and in bed all day, he sleeps next to me and doesn't get up until I do. Sometimes I smile just thinking about how sweet he is and how full he makes me feel. I know that his tenderness is party due to the tenderness I taught him. It makes me feel full of love. And when I see him laboring to breathe, I cry in fear of how long he'll be able to deal with this sinus thing. I've lost pets before, too, and know that the sting of losing this one is going to be pure hell. The world is going to be different without him. My life is going to be lonelier and hollower without him to take care of, and without his constant and devoted love and affection. He's irreplaceable.
Enjoy every moment you can with your baby. Smile as ofen as you can. Animals are so intelligent and when your buddy is ready to go, you'll know.... I'm sorry for the pain you're going through and the pain that hasn't yet come. Just remember what you did for this animal, and how much you both increased the joy in each other's lives. It's something that has added value to this world and to life as a whole. It's people like you, who love and who care, who inspire me to add as much love to this world as I can.
Take care | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/25/2009 10:13:16 AM | This thread would be so much easier to read if it was about getting rid of a person. But a pet, so hard.
I love animals, because they don't judge us, they just love you. And when you've had a pet for many years, who has been part of your life for a long time, it's so hard to let go.
I have a cat who is over seven now, who's had seizures and take medication, and I know one day he'll get more problems, it's only a matter of time. If I ever want to make myself cry, I just have to think about losing him. I dread that day.
But if your pet is in pain, and their quality of life is suffering, it's kinder and more loving to say good bye than to selfishly keep them in your life when they are hurting.
Perhaps doing something to help remember them. I know I plan to get a tattoo, because it's something I'm into and would help me remember. For others, it might be a painting, and of course, photo's. But finding a way to remember them when they are gone, to honor their memory.
I feel bad. It's a hard time.
No more dying pet threads, too sad. | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:52:30 AM | I think you will know when it is time to say goodbye.
It sounds like your dog is still enjoying life right now. Hold onto that, and try to enjoy the last months/weeks/days.
It will be hard, but there will be day when she lifts her head up and looks at you and doesn't want to go for a walk. That's when you will know. She will tell you.
You'll hold her and love her to the end. And you'll know how much love and joy you gave to her.
Pets bring so much unconditional love to our lives. And they let us love unconditionally, too. What a blessing.
Hugs to you at this difficult time.. | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/26/2009 9:40:51 AM | You MUST be strong for her sake.
I have gone through this with beloved pets. When she is suffering do not wait,
do not hesitate. Make sure your vet is good and knows what to do and DO IT.
To let her suffer because you cannot bear to put her down is purely selfish.
It is the greatest kindness you can do for her, to not allow her to suffer. | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:14:18 PM | Oh My! I got tears streaming down my face as I read this! I'm so sorry for you, Nexthyme. I just glanced over at my adorable kitty who is laying sprawled out in her usual "belly-up" position. She made me laugh through the tears.
There is something about a pet that makes living life so much easier to bear. From so much heartache and heartbreak from the human relationships we deal with, there is such a safe, loving place with our pets. They are not capable of being mean, of walking out, of cheating. They are only capable of pure, unconditional adoration and love.
My sweet girl is only a year old. I can't imagine anything happening to her. My thoughts are with you!  | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/27/2009 2:15:40 AM | ... ciao:
had a pooch, "halftone" 15.5 years and had to put her down.
i was fortunate in that i had the opportunity to get (kinda) used to that idea, and when she let me know it was time, it was. my only failure in that, was taking off her collar, which she noticed. i think she knew what was going on. anyway.
in a way i'm not able to verbally define, she taught me about 'unconditional love'.
i would encourage you to do what's best for you pet, in lieu of your concerns.
any less deserved ... | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:27:38 AM | nexthyme ... I have a sibarian huskey (Colin) and he has been with me threw so much ... When my mum died he was ALWAYS there for me ... I would cry and he would come over and sit by me and let me hold for hours at a time ... Just like your beluved dog my dog does things that are not too smooth like he will sit and cry to go out side and then I will try to let him out and he backs up into the dinning room wall cause its too cold/hot or wet .... He will do this over and over again (lol) ... but still its not that smooth to drive his mum nuts like that ... He is about 10 yrs old and when we got him he was limping from the former owners abuse ... I know this cause the guy at the shelter saw a man kick the puppy out of his van ... Well now it looks like he is starting to suffer cuase he groans and he is having a hard time moving around sometimes ... I am SO CLOSE to Colin that I know he will be scared and sad but he will let me know he has had enough ... I am sitting here myself with tears in my eyes thinking about having to say good-buy to him ... I can relate to your pain hun ... It hurts .., I know .and I am sorry you are hurting ...
AnglFlyn
ps. I cant spell and cant find the spell check on this comp. plus my English isnt too smooth but English was never my best class .... I was good in Math | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/27/2009 9:01:21 AM | Aww...I'm so sorry. Tears are welling up in me too. Animals love us so purely, and ask so little in return...just affection and food.
"I know she will let me know when it is time..."
I lost it right there and the tears came streaming down. My family's dog, Wuzzy, a big, black lab/shepherd/chow, the sweetest thing, really grew into the family and was such a big part of us, had to be put down when she broke her shoulder after falling down the single step in my parents' garage. My mother said Wuzzy looked up at her with those pitiful eyes as if to say "It's time. Put me out of my misery." I'm glad I wasn't there for this...it would've broken my heart.
It's good that you already have a new doggie. You've got a lot of love to give this new one, and will continue to love the old one too, until she gives you that look...
This is why the movie Marley & Me was so popular! Lot of dog-lovers here.
Oddly enough, my brother died of cancer two years later. He said "Man, if I were a dog, they woulda shot me." What he went through was a living Hell. | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/27/2009 3:25:02 PM | I understand what you are going threw. my family and I had to put down my gloden retriever last week, she was 13 years old. dogs are very loyal and they love you no matter what. I agree with angel. You will know when you have to put her down. It is never easy. We we put belle down it was hard to put her on the stretcher and carried her into the room with tear filled eyes. It is never easy they do so much and never ask anything in return except for love and affection. You will know when it is time.
Sincerely Mitch | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:08:57 AM | Thanks you all...Takeachance, is right... She still likes to walk, and she still likes to play with the pup, and still likes to go through the grocery bags, thinking there has to be something for HER...
I am sorry for those who have walked this, I am sorry Mitch you have had to go through it so recentky... I was hoping it would be LONGER than 7 yrs later, but life doesn't always give you a choice as to when have to do things...
LOL, Angel, yes she would do that too... Or we could be out all day, and she had a million chances, but then we get in the house and find the nearest corner...
We have had a couple good days, but I know she will have more bad as we go along...
I would never be selfish to make her live longer than she can... I don't want to take her too soon either... But I know what you guys are saying, when she no longer wants to go out, and she no longer thinks the grocery bags have something for her... She is showing me signs, and getting me ready, letting me know that I have to prepare...
Mitch I hear you... I remember only so well... I would have given anything to made things different for Latte', and I would do anything for Pepper... Life such a funny thing. We only get so much time, and it is like a world of time, as I think about it.... | |
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| When to give the permanent good bye
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:47:59 AM | Pets are the best.
The answer to "when" is "you'll both know".
Love is so bitter sweet. It's the best part about being human, being alive... but when a loved on is no longer around with us... it's enough to wonder if it was all worth it.
Just know she loved you with all her being. dogs are like that. Cats... not so much. They love whoever has fingernails to scratch and a can opener. I digress... doggies are loyal, loving and will defend what's theirs with their life. Mans best friend indeed.
Take every moment left to convey your thanks and love back to her. | |
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:58:18 PM | It's that time...
She is fully terminal, won't eat, hates to move...She's jaundice, and is passing blood...That can't be fixed... I know it in my heart...
Was at the vets and of course they have all these options as to what they COULD do, that is depending on this blood test... I am going to spend the money to have it done, but I already know....
It is amazing just how hard it is, and how many tears a person can shed for a dog.... BUT those who say she's just a dog have NO idea...
No idea how many times she was there when it felt like the whole world had left me in hell... She was there when shit happened, and I was the only one that was to figure out how to clean it up...
She was there chewing up stuff that just got me and everyone else so mad... She was there when I had to put my other girl down 8 yrs ago... She was there before during and after my divorce...
She has been my sons companion since he was two... We called her the black widow rapist, because she would hump his stuffed animals, and then tear them up...
She was there when two punk teens broke into my house and got more then they bargained for... Yeah she may be a mini doxie, but they have teeth and AREN'T afraid to use them...
It is so funny how in a persons heart you want just one more month, just a little more time, please, just a little more, but I have already gotten more than I probably should have...
Yes, it's time... | |
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:35:52 PM | that was sooo hard to read , my dog buster i grew up with we had to put down 2 months ago..he had cancer and his stomach began to bloat.I have never heard my mom cry so..i hated it. i just hope that he knew he was loved so much by the whole family and that he didnt feel any pain. Gosh i wish animals could live longer, but please stay with her and hold her that is what i knew i had to do, i had to be there for mine eventhough it was unbearable because he was there for me..so many times...poor babe im sorry you have to go through this...**hugs** | |
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:23:24 PM | Thank you Krisnina,
yes yes
She has a few days so I am letting her visits those that she loved...
One thing I can say is that your dog knew, I walked this path 8 yrs ago, and she knew, and her last gift was to sit in my lap (she never would before, too big) and kissed my hands... They don't last long enough, but that is because they take on all the family hurt, learning to be an angel...
I hope your heart is feeling better...
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/31/2009 12:58:18 AM | Omg, nexthyme... I'm so, so, sorry.
Your Little Huge Love will soon be resting, and continuing to love you as you do in return, from His home of pain free peace. :angel:
Prayers for you, and your Little Huge Love's comfort, and ease, through this time .... (((HUGS))) | |
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:07:13 AM | Hugs to you and your dear lil dog....
I couldnt even read all your posts--sorry--coz im the biggest wuss when it comes to dogs.....
Sending you BOTH my prayers and lots of love.........
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:18:30 AM | Thank you so much all....
It is funny, I know that she will still be, just not physically, but for the heart emotion it doesn't always have logic, all there is is this knowing you can't see them, get nose kissed on the leg with a cold wet nose.
I feel good enough to at least feel like I have some sort of a plan. They are to run a blood test to see if it is just a liver problem, and not metzed cancer... In my heart I know it is bad, but at least I will not live with doubt that there was more that could be done....
What a responsibility being so different than with a human... It is expected to take mercy to let them go by the vet. However humans have to wait until they take their last breath... I suppose the dignity that it gives, is better that how we treat the terminally ill... BUT knowing I am making a choice to............... | |
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:49:36 PM | OP - I was in private equine rescue for more than 20 years. I've also had rescued dogs all my life. One of the hardest things for an animal lover to do is to not be selfish. I never wanted to put one of my horses or dogs down; I loved them so much. But I had to put my own feelings aside and think only of them.
What quality of life do you suppose an animal has when it's sick and feeling fatigued and not able to do the things it's always been able to do? Quality of life is what counts. With each animal I've had to put down, I've spent many long hours crying before and after. But in the end I had to admit each time that the quality of their life is what mattered; not my broken heart.
I once had a seriously starved old mare (I bought her when she was 42). At the ripe young age of 47 her body finally gave out. Her mind was still active, but her body just couldn't go on. I told her I loved her and then I personally gave her the injection that led her to her final rest. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. | |
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:02:52 PM | One of my daughters is heavy into animal rescue (I have a Snitz of a cat "Rocky" that she pulled out of a shelter 2 years ago).
My sweet little dog (toy poo) "Baby" is almost 13 now.
She is drinking more and more water. Ten times the water she use to. I view that as a bad sign. My male did the same thing just before he had a bad ............ well he made it to 14 years old.
Just today my sister told me she had to put her 9 year old to sleep.
I can't handle a pet in pain - I just can't.
My daughter's heart gets broken all the time - but she has saved 200-300 animals over the past say 5 years.
As much as she cares .... she is strong enough - I am blessed to have her when my little girl "Baby" needs help. I am not sure when - but it is coming.
My daughter said something that helped. She said something like "we are fortunate to have a human way" (to euthanise or pets)
She loves animals as more than anyone I know - her clear thinking helped me and will be there when I need it most. | |
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| And then the time comes for the permanent goodbye...
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:40:29 AM | Hello my dear friend Thyme,
I haven't seen you in such a while on here, then I wander into this forum where I have never been and see your thread. I confess, I couldn't even get past the first few lines. I know part of the story anyway.
This is especially poignant for me now because just tonight I emailed someone about getting a dog. I haven't had pets since I moved to this state and started school. I have for my entire life always had many at the same time, cats, dog, birds, fish, sometimes others. It has been strange not having them, but I think I can give one the time it deserves now. And yes, I have had just as close of a relationship to my fish as I have a dog. But I have only had large fish. I think it would be much harder with small ones.
Anyway, I am so sorry for your loss and I will be praying for both of you. I look forward to having the long and happy relationship you have had with yours and I pray that the last few moments are good ones.
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