| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:43:21 PM | you gave her an engagement ring and she upgraded it within 3 days.
Not quite sure what to think about this or if I should be mad.
It kind ruined the whole moment when I gave it to her.
Thinking... | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:45:29 PM | If she's b!tch!n about the ring and changes up after 3 days?
What do you think it says?
LOL!
Welcome to your future in Hell.
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:48:18 PM | Well, you had to communicat better with her what type of rings she wants and what she finds acceptable or not. I knew what my now wife had in mind and I tried to get to it as close as I could.
Women have different tastes in this department. Because she upgraded it she sounds like a woman who has some establish income anda professional. I know a lot of professional women who dress nicely, wear nice cloth and etc. They have certain standards for their jewelery too. I guess in her eyes the ring just didn't meet those standards.
It is a special piece of jewelery and women want to wear in with pride. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:49:36 PM | If I were a guy I would probably break the engagement. If what I gave you as my sentiment of love is not good enough then I can imagine what my life with you will hold.
Sometimes the past does speak for the present and the future..not always...but in this case...geesh OP...you better pay attention. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:50:08 PM | Actually,
I think jewelery is a "personal" thing.
If your going to wear it, you really want to admire it..
My ex was a shocker at picking out what he liked verses what I felt comfortable with, me elegant, him manly in his choice, or else a colour i never wear.
It took 4 years before I discussed with him that it is a personal taste and as such he suggested to me that I could remodel any of them if I wanted to.
It's always better getting an idea of what a woman's taste in jewelery is before buying it.
Having said that, what she did was wrong and handled wrong, sounds like a spoilt brat already, so be careful. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:52:01 PM | | We looked at the ring (over 100) she bought, but she told me to choose the one I liked best. I chose the one I thought was best. She said she loved it, but then changed her mind. If she would have said "Buy this one" I would have. It really isn't a matter of money but with so many she "loved" it was hard to pick what she really wanted. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:52:04 PM | We just went ring shopping (first time in my life, even at this age!), so when she got it, it was what she wanted. The surprise was in timing, not in the ring itself.
Regardless, if I were in your position, | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:53:29 PM | Or in this case I would go directly to her and ask her to explain wha the deal is. And let us know what she says. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:54:31 PM | | I'd feel, hmmm, deflated. Then I'd step back and try to understand what it meant - that I was not paying attention to her tastes, or that she was ungrateful and graceless, or whatever. Then, I'd look closely at what I was really getting into, before I was legally stuck in it. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:55:10 PM | Upgraded it!?!? Upgraded it to what??? Lower car insurance??? A BMW???
You haven't provided enough information in your post in order for me to reply intelligently......did she go to the jeweler where the ring was purchased and trade up to a bigger diamond at your expense...or hers?
If it were at your expense then kick the chick to the curb however, if she upgraded the ring at her expense then realize this will be the one and ONLY time this woman will ever pay for anything again.
It's your funeral, dude.
Sans | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:56:28 PM | | The deal is she liked the other ring better. And she paid the difference to get it (about $1400). Same store... | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 4:57:40 PM | Well, if you went ring shopping together and she asked you to choose, then said she loved it, then changed her mind, (having seen 100), then she was excited, wanted you to have the say, but as she looked at so many and could chose, changed her mind and is thoughtless as to the purpose of what it means to start with as well as going back on her intentions " you choose"...
Will she continue changing and swapping her mind about other things in life too? | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:00:46 PM | I got my diamond ring after being married 18 years...at first we didnt even think of it, then it was never important for me and finally we decided to do it as a Xmas added gift.
To me the diamond means nothing, what matters is the love between you and her.
Now I truly believe she was more worried about what she was going to wear on her finger than how you would feel about her changing the ring. To me...I would be very unhappy if I were you.
Now keep in mind, that is my opinion. Many people give lots of importance to the engagement ring. I don't.
Good luck and hoping your plans with her will go well if you decide to still go ahead an marry her.
Like we say in my country...her action painted her in one stroke....( she showed her true colors). But again JMO. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:02:57 PM | I would think B!TCH!!!
Well, you will stay with her anyway. I'm sure this is nothing new except for the fact that she totally didn't think before upgrading. I would have kept the one you gave me and then asked for the other one for an anniversary gift. See how easy? Tell her that it hurt you. And I can see why. It hurt your manhood and sends the message that you are not a good provider. She didn't have that intention I don't believe maybe she was trying not to hurt you by doing it solo.
I don't know just focus on the wedding there is more drama to be had. You will forget about this when you are dealing with her and her friends, dresses, cakes, everyone thinks they are fat, crying, mother in law, rehersals,... | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:03:10 PM |
It kind ruined the whole moment when I gave it to her
Oh, man! Did she complain when you gave it to her, too?
There are two camps when it comes to women not being over the moon with their engagement rings: either she's a gold-digging b!tch who will never be happy with anything less than the Hope Diamond or you were totally clueless to her likes/dislikes in ring styles.
Based on what you said about her leaving it up to you to select one, she has no right to complain as she apparently waived her rights to the one she really wanted. Sorry, there may be 100 rings at the jeweler but there will always be or two which significantly stand out from the rest.
I've known two women who "upgraded" their rings and both marriages ended in divorce. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:06:09 PM | ^^^^She paid an extra $1400 for the ring she likes??? (OP) Alrighty, then. I can see I'm too old to reply to threads like this anymore. I always thought if the dude presented a ring to a woman and asked her to marry him then she shouldn't give a rat's booty about how big the diamond is or isn't, but just be thankful that she's loved unconditionally by a man that wants to spend the rest of his life with her but what the hell do I know? I collect a cat for every year that I'm still single....I have 27 now.
PS: Can I have her number? I want to upgrade my cell phone plan...maybe if it benefits her then I can have free long distance throughout the US AND Canada! LOL
Dude, you really need to think about this. If the engagement ring wasn't expensive or good enough, do you really think anything else with this woman will suffice down the road? I'm just sayin'.
Sans | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:09:19 PM | | Wha..???? Do you mean that she went and spent extra money to get the ring she thought her royal highness was worthy of having? Yeah...I think I'd tell her just to return it, because you want your portion of the money back, since you have no intention of marrying such a materialistic twit! | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:11:05 PM | | She should have been excited, honored, and content as hell with the ring. It was only for purposes of engagement. The wedding rings, you pick out together. If she needed to upgrade, that was the proper time to do it. Not tearing your heart and pride apart now. No class at all! | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:12:41 PM | That has to be one of the most tacky things I've ever heard. How could a woman, who loves her fiance, be so cold and heartless? That is the height of being materialistic. I would seriously reconsider what life with this woman will be like.
It isn't the size or style of the ring that is important. It's the fact that the man you love picked out a ring to show his desire to marry you. To take it and exchange it would be a slap in the face, in my opinion.
I'm very sorry this happened to you. I hope this isn't an indication of how she is going to treat you in the future. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:19:55 PM | | So you looked at lots of rings including the one she finally chose. She asked which one you liked and you chose a much cheaper one. Maybe she figured you didn't want to pay any more and settled for one she didn't really care for. Then later she decided she'd rather get the ring she really liked at her expense. If she's prepared to pay lots of money herself to get a ring she is really happy with I'm not sure why you should have a problem. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:22:03 PM | I would be bothered if she hadn't communicated about it.
But then, anyone I'm seeing would probably realize that I view that as a romantic symbol and that changing it right after it was given would be hurtful to me.
If you're not overly into symbolism (Ie- like me) then don't let it bother you. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:24:14 PM | Yup, I'm with the overwelming majority and say: this is the tackiest thing she could have done.
I would have a good long hard talk with her and find out wtf was she thinking and this act is a BIG indicator of what your life could be like with her....
Change her mind? The classy thing to do would have been to SUCK IT UP and accept the ring, and your proposal as given.
I have to wonder if she contemplated having you re-do the proposal as well....you know "you didn't say it the way I wanted, so please try again, only this time, do it this way, say this, get down on one knee" etc. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:25:54 PM | "you gave her an engagement ring and she upgraded it within 3 days."
I'd ditch her before she upgraded me - in less than three days. For a better effect, keep doing what you are doing and right before the 'I do' call a female friend to the altar and tell your fiancé that you upgraded, too. | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:33:02 PM | LOL, what are you b!tching about? She paid the difference! So she changed her mind on the style of ring she wanted...big freakin deal! Women change their minds all the time. It's not like she took your credit card to do the upgrade, she probably wore the ring for those three days and just decided that it didn't suit her style. The main thing is that she wants to be your wife, and she loves you. Jewelry is a personal thing, and my taste in jewelry is definitely different than my boyfriend's. I happen to like big stones, I always have, I wear rings and brooches and bracelets that some people would never wear. It's my style and I know what I like.
Here's a story for you. When my father proposed to my mother, she said 'Yes' of course. Then they went ring shopping. He had only so much money in his pocket, and the ring my mother wanted was $500 more than he had saved. So he slipped off into the back of the jewelry store, called his mother, and she brought him the extra cash to the back of the store so my mother would never know. Mom got the ring she wanted, Dad paid my grandmother back, and my parents have been happily married for over 40 years.
OK, my grandmother slipped and let it out what had happened, and they all had a good laugh about it. My Dad jokes about my mother's expensive taste, and she tells him he got off cheap cause he got her, but what it all boils down to is they love each other and they are very happy.
Let the ring issue go. In a few years, you'll be laughing about it.
Beth | |
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| What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:34:50 PM | you gave her an engagement ring and she upgraded it within 3 days.
I'd recommend waiting 3 days, then do an upgrade on the fiance...
.... gotta be better ones out there.
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