| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:29:54 PM | About two weeks ago i recieved a mail from someone here on POF. The mail was pleasant, inquisitive and quite flattering. After checking their profile out i was pleased, and immediately wrote them back.
We REALLY hit it off! Soon we exchanged yahoo id and talked to the wee hours of every night. Having so much in common, neither one of us good get enough. Text messages, emails, messenger, there was so much communication.
I got to a point where pictures and messages were no longer good enough. With such an easy going, yet deeply romantic rapport i assumed the subject of meeting would be met with no resistance. At first, it seemed i was right.
We set up a date for a sunday, as it was the only day this person wasnt working. I set a time and place as this person wanted to come to me. I bought some things they said they liked, got a haircut, made sure i looked good and waited.
The day went by and the person never showed. I opened up my laptop (this meeting was at a coffee bar) and checked my messages. Even though we had a date set, this person insisted they left their phone at home and couldnt contact me to find out exactly what coffee place i was at (even though this was made VERY clear).
I was very upset. Still, with some coaxing by this person, i agreed to continue to talk to them. We made plans for the upcoming wednesday, a dinner date. The tuesday before this person was already setting up reasons why they couldnt meet. Their dad had a new wife that may be sick and that person may have to cancel because the news might come at 4 or 5 that wednesday.
I didnt believe this person. Something just wasnt right. I remembered this person talking about having gay roommates and not me not being a homophobe was important. I also realized that in all this, i never spoke to this person on the phone. (ok, ok, dumb)
So i called. No answer. No voice on the greeting either. I then got back on the computer and asked why no answer. I recieved an excuse and not a good one. I said i absolutely needed to hear their voice or i couldnt talk to them anymore. Called again after this person said theyd be heartbroken if that happened. The person picked up....never said a word.
I accused this person of really being a man. I stated i needed proof. Seems easy. A couple of words would be all i needed. i was given every excuse i could hear, but no conversation. I blocked this person online and on messenger. 3 hours later i recieved pics from this person of a woman , supossedly them, saying "proof im not a guy". I called again. No answer.
Im 99% sure this was a gay male. What do you think? | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:39:44 PM | | Wow - that's messed up. I can't believe someone would pick up the phone and not say anything. Sure, it could be a man, but with bizarre behaviour like that, who cares? Cut this nutbar loose. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:48:17 PM |
Im 99% sure this was a gay male. What do you think?
I'm 99% sure that it doesn't even matter at this point! I mean let us say it was actually a woman...Would you really want to date a crazy psychotic biatch like that???
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:51:45 PM | hey put this on ur page next time
1 im looking for a womens
2 you must not have a dic.k cuz that would be a trick. and im not down with that.. that make u a certify man..
that your shemale is stalking while u wait at the coffee shop and. follow u home dude becareful
good luck man | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 9:32:26 PM | yeah man. blew my mind. thing is had this person told me that they were indeed a man, id still be friends with the guy. geez, i got a heart, and im not gay nor do i dislike gay people.
Hey heres a question. I reported this person to POF, but should i out their profile too? Like their POF name? Something like a new thread that says " WARNING (profile name) is NOT a woman" and then post this thread content again? | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 10:18:07 PM | {I'm 99% sure that it doesn't even matter at this point! I mean let us say it was actually a woman...Would you really want to date a crazy psychotic biatch like that???}
I have to agree.^^^^
Reporting this person though... what exactly are you going to report since you have no clue what you'd be reporting?
Lets see....
YOU**I need to report a ..... man portraying themselves as a woman.
POF*** and what proof do you have?***
YOU**Ummm they wouldnt talk to me on the phone.
kind goofy sounding eh? | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 10:21:40 PM |
Hey heres a question. I reported this person to POF, but should i out their profile too? Like their POF name? Something like a new thread that says " WARNING (profile name) is NOT a woman" and then post this thread content again? NO! Do NOT out them on the forums. The thread will be deleted and you can be banned from the forums or even have admin delete your profile. You are not allowed to specify a person by their user ID. That's a big no-no.
Either way, you are lucky to be out of the situation. Next time, talk on the phone before you go to meet someone and if they are stalling about meeting you, move on. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/27/2009 11:27:59 PM | Right, you cannot 'out' them by naming them here. You can tell any of your friends that might also be on this sight however.
No matter what or who this person is, that is rather a moot point now, I mean no matter what possible reason or explanation there could be, it wouldn't be good enough to explain away this behavior.
Block them, delete them, move on.
Wish you were 10 years older. ;) | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:05:25 AM | Witness the case of a POF man, single, wanting female companionship. Now he's traveling through another dimension. A dimension not only of men and women but also everything in between. A journey whose boundaries are that of a bizarre imagination, female hosiery, fake boobies and plucked unibrows. There's a sign post up ahead; your next stop: The SHEMALE ZONE.........
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:24:34 AM | No names...
But trust yourself and heed the red flags. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:32:33 AM | I'm with Jewlsey and Ace of Hearts, it doesn't matter. You're well out of it either way.
All I would add is, think about what kind of personal information you may have given - and check your credit card(s), bank records, credit report, and cable, telephone, and wireless services of any and all kinds, especially your cell phone, for anything new and inexplicable. I sincerely hope that this is over-cautious. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 1:09:44 AM | | just be thankful you avoided the dreaded "tranny surprise"! | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 1:18:04 AM | OMG, pirateheaven. I can hear Rod Serling's voice in my head as I read this. Although, maybe I should be hearing Alexis Arquette instead.
(where's that cross-dressing emoticon when you need it?) | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 2:04:48 AM | | lmao maybe it was a guy!! but dude after all that run around why wonder? Just leave it at that. Gosh I hope I don't go through that if I ever find someone on here. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 4:29:09 AM | I'm 99% sure that you have no clue if this was a man or woman and you thinking it was a gay guy that dissed you instead of a hot chick makes you feel better.
People online can be flaky...some...not all. And quite frankly, ASSuming that this nutjob is a gay male IS homophobic and silly. And utterly pointless. AND insulting to gay men who don't act stupid.
But if you'd rather assume that a gay male would do this versus a crazy ass woman who might be married or just like to see you sweat...by all means...go ahead and assume.
And there's no point in outing this person nor reporting them to POF. They didn't take your money, they didn't harm you, and oh gee, being embarrassed because you got stood up and played? Not reason enough to report anyone.
Now if someone looks at your thread history they'll see you assume a lot of things that aren't necessarily true. And that because you got stood up by some stupid woman, you assume that it was a guy.
PS...next time, don't take so long to meet someone and if they stand you up, don't contact them demanding why. Who cares? If someone, male or female, doesn't think enough of you to be there or call you to let you know something's wrong, they're not worth the time and trouble spent demanding why. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:51:16 AM | | I'd say you are probably right...it's so easy to get emotionally attached to someone through their words when you feel you have so much in common...I 'm sorry you were played that way....but you need to brush it off and move on, this person is definitley playing games with you! It's scary to think they arranged a meeting and didn't show...if it were a guy, you wouldn't have thought to notice him there...he could have easily followed you home...so just watch your back...I'd hate to think you might have a stalker on your hands....ugh!! | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 8:16:14 AM | You might be 100% correct or...
All the following assume it was a woman
1) she was there at the meeting, stealthily checking you out & changed her mind yet afraid to admit it
2) she has agoraphobia and is afraid to leave the house
3) she is deaf and you might tell in a telephone conversation as well as IRL
4) She is blind same answers as above
5) she has anxiety disorders causing a phone and meeting issues
6) You know her and she knows you, she might even work with you and she is not ready for you to know that yet. a "secret admirer" you would recognize via voice and meeting.
With any of the above and others an explanation to you is warranted just the assumption of female impostor might be questioned.
Many possibilities abound. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:36:34 AM | | wow...well you shouldn't mess with them anyways for being a flake. There is nothing worse than a flakey person. But I get calls from "breathers" all the time..Which pisses me off bcause why ask for my number day after day and when I finally give in all you got is hot breathe? ehhh. I think you should trust your gut. Always. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 11:57:45 AM | | I think you are right. I just don't know what they hoped to accomplish other than just playing games with you. If he was just doing it for a laugh, I guess he got what he was after. Lame. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:32:39 PM | I think the Op is jumping to conclusions.
No reason that I can see to assume the person is anything other than a deaf mute with unhealthy relatives. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 12:51:55 PM | This is what is called gaining EXPERIENCE. Welcome to the "Red Flag" Academy! Where lessons are seldom fun, but stay with you, to help you avoid another such occurrence. Its hell gaining wisdom sometimes, isn't it?! Really can wrack havoc, not only on your brain.....but on your heart too.
"Live and Learn".....now move on. It will get better! | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 4:26:14 PM | the lesson is clear here, right? swap a half dozen or so emails. give her your phone number or tell her you'll call her if she supplies hers. if she doesn't supply it and doesn't call but keeps emailing, give it to her again after another day or so. if she still doesn't call, move on.
in my experience here, very few women want to do written communication for long. they want to get to the meet. you should too. | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 7:53:22 PM | Doesnt matter if it was a man or a woman, you said it your self you never spoke to them on the phone, they stood you up, and when you called the person never spoke? and youre wondering if it a gay male? good lord.....
Have you been smacked upside the head lately? | |
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| Probably a man?
Posted: 8/28/2009 8:21:12 PM | It's possible it was a woman living with a man and she couldn't talk and couldn't sneak away when she wanted to. Or ~ it was a man ~ or both. Either way ~ you dodged a bullet!!  | |
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