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 AUTHOR
 Mike Seguin
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 1
The Night that Didn't End so Well.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
FOREWARNING: long read ahead...

Okay, so here's the story: Tonight, I went out with a friend (who is my love interest), on a date to a local bar, to play some pool, and have a few drinks to wind down a tiresome week for the both of us. Keep in mind we are BOTH tired and exhausted.

We get there, and as I hadn't eaten much that day, I go to get some food. My date apparently hadn't eaten anything in the past 24 hours, and refused to let me buy her some food. Not a good idea to drink on an empty stomach.

That lasted for a good half hour, where I was doing most of the talking, and my date seeming really bored. She had said she was tired and lost in thought (who isn't after a long week of work?), but then admitted to being bored.

So, we got to playing pool. She actually seemed like she was having a bit of fun, but she kept popping up her cell phone for text messages while i was taking my shots. this i didn't really mind.

After the pool, we sat down at the table again, where she was quiet and bored-looking again, despite me trying to stimulate conversation. She became almost completely absorbed in her cell phone, where she was having an msn conversation with an ex. I suggest we leave the bar and walk around for a bit, find something else to do. She says sure. As we walk outside, she suddently tells me we're going to her ex's house.

Let's take a moment to explain something here... her ex had borrowed her Playstation 2, a game console, worth about $50 used at any used electronics store. My date had been arguing with the ex, and this ex had told her he was going to keep her Playstation 2. So, she insisted that it had to be at that very moment we went and got the damn thing. So, a half hour walk, and we were there (me being quiet the whole way; being upset), and her saying she was scared, and we got the thing, and were on our way. I walked her to her building, still quiet, and said a brief goodbye before heading off on my way.

----------------------------------------------------

My thoughts on the matter: I think it was extremely selfish of her to not only act bored when i was trying to show her a nice time, but suddenly decide that a fifty dollar game console was more important than spending time with someone she apparently likes. As well, she knows I like her and would be interested in pursuing something more. It hurts me that I even feel these feelings of anger, and being so upset over it; I don't know if I'm overreacting or what. To me, it just seems selfish of her, not caring how I feel, or even asking that I come along, just assuming I would, to the ex's house.

What I want to know is your thoughts on this; am I just too dramatic over this experience? or am I rightfully upset at her behavior? I really liked her, but now I can't seem to pull up that feeling of affection towards her I had before, and it's making me feel like a really bad person. :(
 sinlov
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 2
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:18:30 PM
Oh Mike, Mike, Mike !!! Time to start shopping for a new mate. If her heart is not in it. If she felt for you, she would have asked. Are you sure she does not still have feelings for the Ex? Thats what I'm thinking. You are handsome and caring enough get yourself a new girl. Good Luck!
 KinChandlerAz
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 3
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:19:11 PM
The reason you "can't seem to pull up that feeling of affection towards her I had before" is because she stomped those nice feelings right into the pavement. It's GOOD that you feel this way after the way she acted. You'd be a doormat if you didn't let it bother you. Now I'm basing this based on you saying you two were on a date, right? And she knows you like her sexually, right?

It was selfish if she just presumed that what she wanted was the important thing about the whole night. She seemed to be more interested in her Playstation than in having a "date" with you. That is if it WAS a date. It's hard to say since we don't have her side of the story.

But honestly if you aren't feeling warm and fuzzy toward her anymore then listen to that. It's the tool that smart people use when deciding about how we should feel about someone. If someone were to take you for granted and use you as a lapdog, well then you should stand up and walk away from that. If you didn't then you'd be a schmuck, right?

Sounds like you were a nice guy, escorting her to get her beloved toy, but if she isn't treating you the way you deserve (and want) to be treated, then don't pursue a dating relationship with the girl. It doesn't sound like she's "all there" on that same dating page with you.

Sorry your night turned to shiit kiddo.
 *MisKa*
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:26:01 PM
She is a drama queen waiting for her coronation. Move on and find someone more into you.
 Mahogany-Rush
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 5
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:28:16 PM
Kiddo, it sucks, and bites big time, some time you cant put a round peg in a square hole, you may like her and hope for the best but her actions tell you differently, hint when a woman is bored and makes a beeline to the ex, thats your cue to exit gracefully and keep fishing.

I wouldn't necessarily call her selfish, probably a bit immature, these things happen.

there are plenty of fish in the sea ( pardon the pun)
 henleytara
Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 6
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:54:13 PM
talk to her and let her know how u felt. if she acts like she don't care, leave her alone. she should have taken care of that before you and her started talking. being on the phone is so dis-respective. i put my phone on silent when i'm with someone. some people are so unappreciative. she has turned you off and u could never feel like you felt before about her.
 Life 2.0
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 7
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:59:26 PM
better a night that didn't end well than a life that didn't end well. She auditioned for the part as your GF, but didn't get the role.

No big deal, cut her loose
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 8
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:22:39 PM
Wow. What a bi t ch. First there's no pleasing her, then she doesn't even give you her full attention, then just to cap it off, she ropes you into what she clearly was hoping would be a dramatic scene - while using you as a prop to show the ex she's with someone.

I think I've read most of your posts, Mike, and it is more than clear from all, including this one, that you are a genuinely good guy. Also funny. Love the title here. You can do a lot better than this.

Sorry it went like that... but I am sure there are better prospects in your future.
 wolftxus
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 9
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:41:02 PM
I disagree that she was a b!tch. I think she pulled the only stunt that she knew would get through to the OP to tell him she is not interested. Besides the cell MSN (hint, hint), the being bored and all the other little hints the OP did not post because he did not pick up on them, she must have thought of bigger cannons to fire to make her point. She could have said 'no', but we all know how some men misinterpret that. It was never about the PS2...
...except
...perhaps
...a subliminal message from the girl to the OP:
"Live in your world, play in ours."
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 10
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 10:49:07 PM

I think she pulled the only stunt that she knew would get through to the OP to tell him she is not interested.

She pulled a lot of stunts, that's for sure. However, I don't think there even was a message. Not to him, anyway. IMO she was not even thinking about him or the effects of her actions on him; he was just handy. Bi t ch.

Would you feel better if I called her a tool? I think that'd be equally appropriate, given that she is a manipulator.
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 11
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:15:24 PM
i HATE people who are a slave to their god damn phone. she sounds like a dingbat, anyway. cut her loose- you can DO BETTER.
 TXCurlyGirl
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 12
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:16:36 PM
Is there really even a question? Why do men - or shall I say boys - fall for such needy drama queens?!!! Dude. I can't believe that you went with her to her ex's house with her. That is total **** behavior.
 revolution_breeze
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 13
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:36:06 PM
Quite honestly it appears that she was looking for a distraction to keep her mind off the ex, OR she wanted to make him jealous. Either way, I say dump her.

It's not worth all this drama. She's clearly playing with her ex and still hung up on him. If she were really interested in you, you wouldn't even know she had an ex and/or he wouldn't be worth mentioning.

Unless of course your as bored as she is, and like this kind of bizarre emotional diarrhea in your life?
 Whaaaat
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 14
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/29/2009 11:45:42 PM
1. She wasn't interested, for whatever reason, and was doing whatever she could to tick you off and not want to see her again.

2. She isn't over the ex.
 T in the EC
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 15
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 12:07:19 AM
After about the third time of her texting someone instead of giving you her undivided attention, I wouldve take her home. Youre not a taxi service. She obviously didnt want to be there. Take the hint, if shes spending that much time on the phone, the date isnt going well. Save your energy for someone thats worth it.
 pamalonious
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 16
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 1:09:12 AM
She may just like you as a friend. You say that she is YOUR love interest, not that you are her's. Was this outing specifically a date (known by BOTH) or it may have been percieved as going out with a friend.

Anyway, it seems she is still sorta hooked on her ex. I'm guessing it hasn't been very long based on the PS2. If thats the case you may be her rebound guy.

Either way, i agree with the one poster who says you shoulda grabbed the situation by the reins and said "lets go, you and me babe" rather than sulking. But thats in the past, so can't do anything about that now.


What I want to know is your thoughts on this; am I just too dramatic over this experience? or am I rightfully upset at her behavior? I really liked her, but now I can't seem to pull up that feeling of affection towards her I had before, and it's making me feel like a really bad person. :(


Just becase you liked someone at some point and now you dont, I dont see why you would feel like a bad person? It seems as though you were doing your best to show her a good time and she didn't respond most favorably.

boy likes girl
girl ignores boy
boy stop liking girl so much

its your natural defenses kicking in.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 17
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:57:48 AM
Everyone has a bad day/night. What she did sounds a bit self-absorbed but was it the only time she has ever done it? Do you like her enough to ignore the night and keep going to see how things turn out? If she does it again then I say you most likely need to be looking for another girl. But as I said, everyone has off nights.
 missdi123
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 18
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:39:49 AM
You are not over reacting. She was rude. Apparently she is not interested and she is not over her ex. If I was interested in someone I would never spend even a second arguing with my ex over a $50.00 playstation. Who uses a PS2 nowadays anyway? LOL Forget her. I hope you made her pay for her own drinks.
Hey, is that the same girl you wanted to cook dinner for?
 Mike Seguin
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 19
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:41:15 AM
Thanks for the feedback guys; even those of you who in some form or another told me that it was my fault.
 casperella
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 20
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:55:27 AM
Dude! She obviously doesn't like you like you do. She probably just used you for a night out because she didn't have anything better to do. Find someone else and stop wasting your time.
 cjsparrow
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 21
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:19:41 AM
Sorry about the bad experience, dude! To me she didn't want to be there at all! You mention you wer both tired then she admits to being bored. I'd be done right there! The cell phone usage is a rude thing to do unless it's checking on a babysitter/child or family emergency.

You're not a bad person at all. You liked her and she didn't feel the same. Involving you in her EX drama is rude as well. When you date someone, their EX should be OUT OF THE PICTURE unless you are divorced and have a child. Just my opinion....
 fitandfun78
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 22
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:55:47 AM
Wait a second, is this the same chick who made you jump through hoops to come up with a date that didn't cost much money? She sounds too high-maintenance for you. She clearly wasn't interested, and she wasted your time. I agree, it's not you, it's her. A lot of people don't take other's feelings into consideration and it's really a shame.

I'm sorry you had such a sh!tty night ... find a better girl who'll appreciate you and your time more, this one just didn't.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 23
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The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:18:16 AM
Whether she was as interested in you as you were in her is irrelevant; the plain truth is she was flat out rude! Now maybe she wasn't that into you, but she should have just told you if that was the case instead of playing games in the hope you'd lose interest (sounds like mission accomplished there!). If she really did like you but was just oblivious to your feelings by paying more attention to her texting than to you, well, that's even worse, as she clearly lacks social skills. The trick is to take something positive out of a bad experience. The lesson you learned here is don't tolerate rude, boorish behavior from someone while you're out on a date, behavior you would never expect anyone to accept from you. Perhaps the whole cell phone issue is a generational thing, but after the second text message I would have politely asked her to put away the phone, and if she wouldn't do that, my evening with her would have been over then and there.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 24
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:37:33 AM
^^^ Yeah, that's a good lesson to take from it. If someone treats you like crap, you have the option of leaving. Should something like this occur again, exercise that option!

Also, apart from the rudeness, she's an idiot - even the young and healthy cannot go 24 hours without food without consequences. The lack of blood sugar increases tiredness, makes one irritable, and ruins attention span and reasoning ability. Which may be partly why you cut her so much slack here, but it's her own damned fault she refused to eat.


Wait a second, is this the same chick who made you jump through hoops to come up with a date that didn't cost much money?

I assumed so, since the activity described is what she finally approved, after turning down two genuinely fun and interesting suggestions.
 Mike Seguin
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 25
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:59:05 AM
Yes, it's the same girl.
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