| | acceptable time to ask man about sex?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Whats an acceptable time allowence in asking a man about sex, or his interest in it?
The reason being,, as a women of 52 I have been finding men my age, or there abouts,
aren't as interested in sex or much passion. So men,, whats the deal? and Ladies any suggestions? | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:27:59 PM | i'd gander it's those men.i know 70 year olds that would make 20 year olds jealous.
1 suggestion.......try finding men who are active in other things.hope that helps. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:36:48 PM | Yes, once I am into a realationship,,I start things,, but is it acceptable to ask a man before jumping into sack? or wait and see?
Its something I truly enjoy, and don't understand the lack in some men... | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:38:38 PM | I try to bring the subject up before I rip their clothes off.
Seriously, I found a guy on here who I am happy with, and we seem well matched in that area. He is a couple years younger. Our first meet was 4 hours, and expectations were things we talked about. I don't know if it is just me, but the older I get, the less inclined I am to beat around the bush. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:41:27 PM | 1 suggestion.......try finding men who are active in other things.hope that helps.
Great advice!  And don't be looking in the McDonald's/BurgerKing/fast food anythings for them, either, OP. Lol
Oh, and ime, republicans never like to talk about sex, well, intimacy of any kind, straight up. Soooo, probably need to avoid those, too. 
Your thread is kinda novel, OP. Most of the time this subject starts with the alas and alack of any of a horde of women complaining that men always play the trump card (sex) some time during the introductory remarks. lol If it's a deal-breaker item for you, you could try to insert it somewhere in your profile- you could couch it the right way there, uninterrupted, with none of the awkwardness of the face-to-face situations.
I'm pretty much willing to talk about anything, at any time, in any order of preference.  I just assume we're trying to get acquainted, and any subject will do, in any order, really. Besides, sex is a whole lot more stirring than financial security! lol
Just watch out for the republicans. They offend easily (perhaps to compensate for a generally impoverished sexual response, lol).
but is it acceptable to ask a man before jumping into sack? or wait and see?
K, now I'm thinking that you've been hanging with the wrong political group. lol I'd much rather talk about preferences and what's gonna happen sexually than I would about how you're gonna pay me for my professional services, and I luurrrvv to talk about that! Hey, there really are no rules of any group that you should reach for first, for any reason, but especially about rules of engagement for an eminently intimate, two-person event. (The fewer the people, the fewer the rules). | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:46:43 PM | Honestly? I don't think it matters if you talk about it or not. Most people think they have the sex drive of a mad person and that they are awesome at it. Clearly this is not the case.
I spoke to one of my exes about it before we slept together. He insisted he's a multiple-rounds guy. Then I got him into bed... Well, not only was he NOT a multiple-rounds guy - but sex, like, once a month was sufficient for him (!). AND his ex broke up with him for lack of sex too (he gave me another reason before we slept together...)
You can weed out SOME people... but ultimately you'll have to try it for yourself to really know. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:48:49 PM | Didn't realize men ever had to be asked about sex. I though it was a given.
when initiated or hints are given with someone I'm interested in. It's all systems go!!  | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:55:51 PM | | Acceptable is a highly subjective concept. It would vary from one man to the next. You could decide that three weeks was an acceptable amount of time to wait before informing a man of your sexual agenda, and he might wonder what took you so long, while for another man it could seem like you were terribly forward. Even if you do find some published standard time frame, do you think a man would surrender his sensibilities to its authority? | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:57:12 PM | Sigh. Not another one!
OK, do you have any memories of the past 35 years? Remember at all how for decades the women of your generation jumped up and down and called men pigs and told them they were horrible for treating women like sex objects?
Well, the men listened. That's why.
I was lucky enough to be born just after that madness, into the Punk mini-generation, so at least I have some sort of a bulwark against the process of turning from an adolescent view of sexuality (the phony "sexual revolution") into a "mature" sex-fear unrivaled since Comstockery and Bowdlerism. So I can laugh as nostalgic paeans about the divinely inspired writings of Joan Baez and Bob Dylan, or world-class brain trusts like Abie Hoffman and Timothy Leary crop up here from time to time, reflecting the encroaching enervation and decrepitude of a generation Dr. Spock-trained to think they were the proverbial It but now realizing that it isn't going to last forever.
But the women of your generation really did a number on the men of your generation, and while they constantly talked about their rights to contribute to sexual socialization, they never could be arsed to put in the effort to make good on it. (We know this because you feel the need to ask the question.) You can reasonably expect it to have had an effect. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:11:26 PM | | I think it's ok to ask a man about sex anytime after it has been established that you two are an item and you feel comfortable communicating these things. Because once sex is involved, it's going to take that communication to a whole new level -- and I'm not just talking verbal here. Besides, talking about it can bring on sweet anticipation and can help you relax during the act. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:21:21 PM | | talk about it right away so you know thier views on sex, its an important part of a relationship and who needs a dead fish :P | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:57:01 PM | "the less inclined I am to beat around the bush"!
I think that sums it up,as soon as beating around the bush is mentioned,it's time!
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:27:22 PM | | you're just [picking the wrong guys ledas, the drive is there and if things falter a bit, there are always little blue or yellow pills. Why would you put up without that in a relatinoship? | |
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yna6
| | Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 16 | |
| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:51:21 PM | | sometmes you just have to jump right in! Which is why I am an advocate for first date sex....or second date. But many are not. Their choice. You have your choices too. Life is too short to be "waiting" for it or trying to decide when....how about when YOU are ready? Good enough timing! | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:46:41 PM | | Dress sexy in your next encounter, say something like "do you think this looks good on me?", pulling slightly at the camisole to reveal more of your breasts. See if that turns him on. If he says "yes" and his eyes get googley and gleam with the possibilities, you're onto something there... | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 8:47:27 PM |
Whats an acceptable time allowence in asking a man about sex, or his interest in it?
As soon as you consider him a potential sexual partner. Life is short, if you're not compatible better to find out sooner, than later. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:10:26 PM | | Hmmm, I have absolutely no experience in this world, BUT, here's something... if you find a lot of guys in their late 40's - late 50's not having much interest in sex, I have to ask -- are you prudish about sex-before-serious-relationship? If so, I would say that the ones who do have ED or something else that results in a lack of sex drive, would be the ones totally cool with that, moreso than the others. I'd make sure you don't come off as complaining about "guys wanting one thing"... a) male-bashing turns guys off, and b) guys with a sex drive will be more likely to walk right from there. And if you "go slow" when it comes to ANY physical intimacy, that will also drive guys away, but the not-that-into-sex guys will be just fine with it. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:35:33 PM | As soon as you consider him a potential sexual partner.
Yes.
A sensible time to bring it up is when you understand each other reasonably well, and believe the relationship could go further. He knows what information is being sought, and why.
It’s not an invitation. Just seeking re-assurance that he'll be a capable partner should things go that way.
I can tell you how some POF women have handled it. At some point in the conversation, sometimes on the phone before we’ve met, the topic rolls around to all things POF, the sort of folks we’ve met, the attempts at relationship, the false starts, the reasons they didn’t work out, etc.
The issues are raised – men who drink too much, men who are still married, men who are too pushy, and men who, when the time was right, weren’t ready, willing or able.
The women were still vitally interested in sex, they had an active libido, they were willing to work with first-time jitters, etc., but they really wanted to know before they invested a whole lot more time that the man they were talking to was still… well, they never had to put too fine a point on it. They didn’t have to come right out and ask.
Once I heard their disappointment and frustration, I could understand why they sought reassurance up front. And once they had it, the conversation continued on to other things. | |
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Ependa
| | Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 21 | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/31/2009 2:56:26 AM | I don't ask them. Just make sure you want it then take it. Of course this works best if he likes you and you are actually in a defined 'whatever it is' you are supposed to be in.  | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/31/2009 4:19:44 AM |
Honestly? I don't think it matters if you talk about it or not. Most people think they have the sex drive of a mad person and that they are awesome at it. Clearly this is not the case.
I have to agree with this poster. Even if you do have the conversation, I don't know how honest they guy is going to be. It's a pretty difficult thing for a guy to admit he's not into it or isn't fully functioning. In fact, I've found that it's the braggers who are usually the ones who are all talk.
I applaud the sentiment (sometimes I wish we could just hand out sexual resumes so it could all be out in the open, you know? That way people could be well-matched for the "project" at hand) but I am just not sure it will get the results you are looking for.
So, yeah, I agree, it'd be great if you could just come out and say, "Hey, I've been wondering, can you get it up?" And he could answer honestly. But that's just not reality. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/31/2009 6:08:34 AM | Wow!!! You're actually meeting men who don't act like 17 year old hormonal teenager boys? Are you kidding me?
I would actually find that a refreshing change. | |
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| acceptable time to ask man about sex?
Posted: 8/31/2009 6:20:01 AM | | I ask while still in the email stage. Seems smart but I still find limp or three second men. Guys tend to lie about their drives and performance. The only way to know what you are in for is to give them a big sexy kiss, if they can stand up after.. you may have a problem xD | |
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