| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:01:17 PM | | I have a question for all you men out there. I have a guy that is or was or whatever you want to call it in my life. He will act one way one day and then another way a differant day. He says he cares about me but just cant commit right now. He will do really good about calling me and acting like he cares and wanting to spend time with me and then the next week nothing. I dont know how many times he has not called when he said or came over when he said he would. And he just blows it off like no big deal. The bad thing is we have the same group of friends and are around each other. I dont know how many times I say Im done. But then I find myself right back there. I think he just thinks no matter what I will always be there. But getting tired of it. I guess I just hang in there because I know he can be a good guy and that he has it in him. But just dont think he is looking for the samething I am. I know he sleep around. But I cant be mad because we are not really anything. Even though everyone seems to think we are. So all you men out there what do you think? | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:10:56 PM | Well, what do you want us to say? He just isn't that into you. Not really sure if you are giving it up to him, but if you are, you are simply training him that he does not have to commit to you to keep coming back for more.
I would simply shuffle him to the friend zone and move on to hopefully better things. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:12:13 PM | I think you need some self respect. Harsh, but it's true. You know he's sleeping around and you keep going back. And he knows you will, so he works it. Stop going back. Find someone who will treat you right and who's looking for what you're looking for.
Repeat after me - people treat you the way you let them treat you. Repeat that a few times. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:20:21 PM | Your guy doing something does not = all men doing it. With that logic, since you keep going back to someone who has no interest in you, why do all women keep going back to guys who aren't interested in them?
If he's telling you he can't commit, what exactly is it you're back to anyway? The fantasy relationship you think the two of you have?
You said yourself, you keep saying you're done, then you go back for more. That's why "men" (aka your guy) can act anyway he wants towards you. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:21:01 PM | Thanks Rainman12
You are so right. I tell myself that I deserve better but for some reason keep going back. I have been asked on many of dates and wont go. Because I keep hanging on to thinking he is going to come around but in the back of my mind I know he wont. So its so crazy that we do what we do. LOL but thanks for taking the time to respond. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:22:08 PM |
He will act one way one day and then another way a differant day. He says he cares about me but just cant commit right now.
At the age of 28 you REALLY should know by now that this kind of behavior means he is NOT interested in you and he only keeps you around until something better comes along.
I dont know how many times I say Im done. But then I find myself right back there. I think he just thinks no matter what I will always be there. But getting tired of it.
Once you raise your self-esteem and self-respect to a reasonable level you WILL actually be "done". And yes, why would he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free?
I guess I just hang in there because I know he can be a good guy and that he has it in him.
Wrong, you "hang in there" because you don't think you can do any better. Again, once you realize you deserve more you will actually get more.
I know he sleep around. But I cant be mad because we are not really anything. Even though everyone seems to think we are.
Try to realize the problem is you and not him. You obviously have some major insecurities that you need to let go of before you can move on. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:38:08 PM | You know the guy is a player, yet you let him treat you like a booty call.
Why do women demand respect and then not even respect themselves? At this point you're probably go buy a fresh whip for this guy to beat you with.
Definition: You are nuts. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:43:59 PM | | If this guy doesn't commit to you now he probably NEVER WILL. He can't commit to you because he already has what he wants from you. He can blow you off, go sleep around, and basically not give a shit because HE KNOW'S you're not going anywhere. You believe he is a good guy so what the hell does he have to change for. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free. In all honesty, this cat may be attracted to you physically, but he is no way wanting to be exclusive with you. Why would he, he can get what he wants out of you WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THAT FAR. He doesn't think you'll always be there, HE KNOWS. If this didn't bother you, then you wouldn't have started this thread looking for opinions and justification for his behavior. Like my man said, GET SOME SELF RESPECT. Not to be mean and callous, but face the reality, he doesn't care aboout you like you do him. And you enable him to do this. If you are sick of how he treats you then make a stand. If you don't take a stand, you will fall for anything. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:48:16 PM | It sounds like you are the back burner girl. He comes over when he can't find something else to keep him entertained. Everyone deserves better than that. If you KNOW he sleeps around, and it bothers you, then that means you have deeper feelings for him than he does for you. That is NOT going to change, he is doing exactly what he wants and getting what he wants. Because you allow him to, you can find someone better.
Edit. I see in your post, that you are making excuses for him to us. Don't do that, his behavior is acceptable or it isn't, make your decision accordingly | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 9:51:01 PM | You are re-enforcing the old adage: women really love it when you treat them like crap...
I've seen this many, many times, the worse a man treats a woman the more she keeps coming back. I have a friend that put up with a cheating loser for almost 30 years and only wised up after they had a child together, then she wisely dumped him after he continued his crappy ways... | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:08:13 PM | Because you are allowing him to.
I know I am not a guy, but I seriously shake my head when I hear women allowing themselves to be treated this way...What would you tell your girlfriends if they were in this type of situation? Wouldn't you tell them to dump him? It should not be this complicated and painful, seriously. You are an attractive young woman with probably a lot going for you and you are limiting yourself from finding the guy that will never cause you to have to post your issues about him on a dating site. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:39:50 PM | Here is a question for you: do you like the guy or his potential?
You can safely assume that his behavior won't change, ever. Not every man is like that. But there are men (and women) who naturally do this kind of thing in relationships for one reason or another. It can be very frustrating cause you "see the potential" in him. If you don't like it now there is no reason to believe that it will all magically improve one day. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:58:35 PM | Testosterone cycles through our blood with a fresh batch every 15 minutes. That's why one moment we are fine and the next, we are irrate.
Just my hormonal excuse for my misbehavior | |
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| Important Question
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:13:05 AM | Serious answer. The combination of moodiness, running hot & cold, sudden unexplained changes in behavior, & sleeping around is a big red flag. I'd suggest you go to Amazon.com or your local Barnes & Noble, and check out a book titled "Stop Walking On Eggshells" or the followup, "The Stop Walking On Eggshells Workbook." If it rings a bell, run like hell.
Good luck. And ..... let's be careful out there. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:20:03 AM | Hope you don't mind me quoting from your profile, but I see an important clue there:
"Im about the most down to earth person you will ever meet. I believe that nothing comes easy and you have to work for what you want. If your life is not going the way you want it stop complaining and do something about it... [...] Im a very independent women and am not looking for anyone that can take care of me. I do one hell of a job on my own"
To summarize -- you come across as a grownup, a mature adult, which means that needy & immature people (i.e., children in adult bodies) are likely to be drawn to you. Likely, you will also be drawn to them because you seem like a natural, wholesome, healthy care-giver. There's nothing wrong with you - to the contrary. I'd just suggest you learn to start thinking a little bit selfishly when it comes to looking out for your own interests. Immature adults can be wonderful charmers, but there's one rule -- if it seems to good to be true -- it probably is.
Good luck, and take care.  And don't leave your guardian angel behind. :) | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:44:03 AM | Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not. Loves me, loves me not.... 
According to wikipedia this same game is played in at least two dozen languages. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:53:31 AM |
So all you men out there what do you think?
I have several opinions actually.
One, I think you have absolutely zero respect for yourself and so are drawn towards men that will enforce your opinion that you aren't worthy of any.
Two, I think that if God floated down from Heaven and placed a rainbow over the head of a decent and respectable man that would value an opportunity to be with you, you'd run screaming in the other direction.
Three, I think women like you are the reason a complete douchebag like David DeAngelo is able to make a fortune by teaching men to treat women like crap. | |
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| WHY DO MEN ACT ONE WAY AND THEN ACT ANOTHER
Posted: 9/1/2009 9:49:14 AM | You need to let this one go! You are trying to herd geese with a butterfly net. This means that you may see the good in this person,but it's not going to happen. He's going to do what "HE WANTS " and not how you would like it to be. Get away from changing him.
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