| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 11:39:49 AM | | Why is it that guy who knows how to treat a woman right gets rejected, goes out with someone else who treats her like s**t, THEN STAYS WITH HIM, then she comes back to you and wishes to be with a man that always had been treated right when needed.........., can anyone anser me an unanswered question? | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:29:27 PM | *Friend Zone*
She sees you in it, and comes to cry on your shoulder... | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:40:12 PM | Little girls like the badboys. DONT be her "friend" (translation=sucker) Go find the BBD (bigger better deal)
Generally speaking.. women dont grow out of this badboy stage until they've been beaten up the 5th time filed a restraining order and take their 6 whelps back home to mom & dad and start trying to rope in a sucker like you to rescue their sorry a$$.
Look at all the divorced with kids today women. Look how they not only MARRIED the cheating badboy, but then compounded their stupidity by making KIDS with him after he cheated when first married.
Keep dating till you find a smart woman who recognizes your qualities. Dont let them give their youth and fun (as well as non-bitter years) to the jerks, only to expect YOU to pick up the pieces.
Oh, you shouldnt be looking to settle down till about 34 anyway. NO woman in your age group is mature enough to make a life-commitment anyway. I mean, look at their choices of these jerks?
sorry women, truth is truth. our society has NOT raised mature responsible offspring for several decades | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:28:04 PM |
NO woman in your age group is mature enough to make a life-commitment anyway.
I was mostly nodding my head in agreement until I got to that part.
Age is not an indicator of maturity. It isn't. It simply isn't. Period.
I've known women in their early twenties that I'd have walked down the aisle with and said I-Do too if they had wanted me... they were just that much of a real woman. And I've known women in their mid-thirties and up that are so far beneath me on the mental level that I couldn't possibly ever see anything more than a light friendship with them. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:43:29 PM | Betterman2009:
Why is it that guy who knows how to treat a woman right gets rejected, goes out with someone else who treats her like s**t, THEN STAYS WITH HIM, then she comes back to you and wishes to be with a man that always had been treated right when needed.........., can anyone anser me an unanswered question?
Because she needs to repeat the drama of her childhood in order to make sense of her life. Most-likely that "bad boy" resembles her father or the culmination of dysfunctional people who raised her. Nice guys like you give her nothing to work on. No problems to solve. No drama. Once she figures herself out, (if ever she does) she'll be ready for a healthy guy like you.  | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:04:57 PM | | She likes what happens when she is with you, which is that you comfort her and listen to her. That helps her sort things out between attempts to go find what else she wants, that doesn't happen when she is with you, and also, so far, doesn't seem to be happening for her anywhere else. She's a little lost lamb who stops in from time to time between shearings. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 7:27:21 PM | | OP it's because (some) women see men like that as a challange. It's appealing to them because we as a culture through movies, and books make the bad boy seem exciting, and like he is really a good guy who just needs to be loved. Honestly it's along the same lines, as the men who like to go out with the crazy women that drive them nuts. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/1/2009 9:54:13 PM | | Battered Women Syndrome even though I like to call it plain stupidity.... | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/2/2009 3:55:24 AM |
Why is it that guy who knows how to treat a woman right gets rejected, goes out with someone else who treats her like s**t, THEN STAYS WITH HIM, then she comes back to you and wishes to be with a man that always had been treated right when needed.........., can anyone anser me an unanswered question?
I could ask the same question only in reverse to the men: Why is it I hear all day long you would like someone who is a quality person: Educated, independent, self-sufficient/supporting, good conversationalist/communicator, hard working, a non game player, someone who will be faithful to a relationship, then you find it, and
P O O F, you run like hell for some welfare whore who hangs out at the local watering hole night after night?
I would LOVE to know the answer to that one! | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/2/2009 4:32:15 AM | ....i don't know...it seems that "straight as a line" god fearing, no nonsense. high moral law abiding, church going man, with high principals, and a strong addiction to discipline, would be the ideal catch for any woman that knows her place...... after all it did work in the fifties .
but....but...but...but.....and there is always a butt at the end....
if a person would know how to treat a woman right.... would a woman not get a feeling of being someone special? ....................... and
if the woman is feeling special.... does she not get warm a fuzzy inside.... and all tingly outside...and like all mushy and giggly.......and
if she is feeling all those things...... don't her juices start flowing, and she is all excited...
and she wants you to tear her cloths of right there
and she wants you to take her
and needs you in her
to feel the weight of you on her
the length of you in her
and
and
and
you talk to her of jesus .... and the virtues of saving yourself for marriage....
or
or
or
for all those guys that claim to know how to treat a woman..... why is it that all of them are single....
| |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:05:13 PM | | Even Rock Stars get rejected. The evidence is in the thousands upon thousands of songs written about heart break. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:17:26 PM | “Why is it that guy who knows how to treat a woman right gets rejected, goes out with someone else who treats her like s**t, THEN STAYS WITH HIM”
I never got to figure this one. I had 17 failed relationships (I’m 43). The 14 who I treated like trash stayed as long as they could. The 3 that I treated very well, bailed out after months claiming this was too good to be true. I still don’t get it..... Seems like I have 2 options; be an ***hole and have a 2 year relationship or a very nice man and be single after 2 months. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:07:18 AM | It is a psychological thing----if someone is treating you bad, they must be desirable, since they are on top and you are on the bottom.
So the goal becomes to get them to NOT treat you bad, therefore elevating your status in the relationship and boosting your ego.
Which all goes back to childhood, getting the rejecting or abusive parent to pay attention to you. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:38:02 AM | Your best bet is to ride the bad boy/nice guy line as close as you can..
Basically be a little bit of an ***hole but show that you care here and there and you're set!! | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 10:44:21 AM | | Exactly! Abusers beat them up but it’s all ok! They will offer them presents and treat them like a queen to make up for it until the next beat up. Many women enjoy it! | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 10:53:14 AM | | Hard to answer, I cannot even get a damn reply to an email on this site. I am 1-34 right now...........I am shooting for 100 no responses , only reason I stay on this site, for the record. That "one" reply ended up being a fluke, so should really say 0-35........... | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:43:32 AM | Op. I think it comes down to one word. Passion. You don't inspire that in her and he does. So when the passion explodes in her face she comes back to you for comfort and stability. But in the long run she sees that as boring.
I have had relationships that are like riding a train and others that are more like roller coasters. What a ride but hard to stay in it for the long run right? Somewhere between the two is where happiness lies. I think. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 2:56:03 PM | "Hard to answer, I cannot even get a damn reply to an email on this site. I am 1-34 right now...........I am shooting for 100 no responses"
It will take you years to beat my record. I'm now officially retired from this bullshit. The forum is entertaining. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 3:25:39 PM |
I could ask the same question only in reverse to the men: Why is it I hear all day long you would like someone who is a quality person: Educated, independent, self-sufficient/supporting, good conversationalist/communicator, hard working, a non game player, someone who will be faithful to a relationship, then you find it, and
P O O F, you run like hell for some welfare whore who hangs out at the local watering hole night after night?
Touche!! 
Why is it that guy who knows how to treat a woman right gets rejected, goes out with someone else who treats her like s**t, THEN STAYS WITH HIM, then she comes back to you and wishes to be with a man that always had been treated right when needed.........., can anyone anser me an unanswered question?
She comes back to you because you have no boundaries...you are willing to accept second class treatment from this woman. Instead of telling her to piss off, you allow her to come use you as her emotional anchor.
If she screws you over...that's her fault. If she comes back (friend or not) and you LET her come back...that's YOUR fault.
This is the second time you've posted about a cheating woman. You need to find more constructive channels for your anger. And, a good self-esteem book will go a long way too. Might I recommend "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Glover. It will show you how to set some boundaries for yourself and build your self esteem.
Paul ;) | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:40:54 PM | I've copy/pasted what I wrote in the "why is it so hard to find a decent girlfriend?" post.
Sexual stimulation involves ANGER for some. "Nice" just isn't "exciting" enough somehow for some.
A-holes, as deplorable as they are in some respects, are "take-charge" kind of guys. The A-hole part may not be desirable, but the "take-charge" attitude IS desirable. Some of us want to "coast" on autopilot and have someone come in and dominate and take over our lives. We, male or female, then assume the "victim" role, as the OP is doing. This, then, invites the other's aggression, or, worse, apathy, and eventual absence.
I'm reminded of the Keanu Reeves/Patrick Swayze surfing/skydiving/bank-robbing action thriller, Point Break. Swayze as the lead bank-robber says "When you take charge of the situation, you create fear in them. When you hesitate, you invite aggression, and hesitation will make your worst fears come true." Human sexual psychology is kind of a similar model. In fear, there is excitement. In aggression, the aggressor is in charge of creating the fear, the excitement. It may be f--ked up, but it's the way it is. So take charge, at least sometimes.
Be who you are, just be AS MUCH of who you are as possible. Do take pleasure in taking charge, taking control...yes, dominating. "Aggressively loving". Yes, ask her how she feels, but don't become so absorbed in that that you become insecure. Don't sit back, coast, be wishy-washy, be fearful...and expect to hold her interest. You want to CREATE her interest...and yours-!
I agree, it goes back to childhood, what is familiar to her. That bad boy somehow re-creates that same kind of "comfort" she felt from her overbearing or abusive father.
I also agree, somewhere between a train and a rollercoaster is the recipe for a long-term, lasting, happy relationship. Can't get too monotonous...or too wildly, explosively passionate. A healthy dose of some stability with some outbursts of passion are where that middle ground of happiness and health resides, in my opinion.
As tough as it is to be a woman, it's also tough to be a man. We're expected to be so strong...all the time. This is why we typically die before you ladies do. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:54:04 PM | | You need to quit playing 'dating baseball'-3 strikes and she's out. Knock that crap off. If she sticks it to you once, you should expect she's the kind of person who'll do it again if you let her. Quit letting her. Grow some testicular fortitude, it will set you free. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/6/2009 7:54:44 AM | | Man... don't be a **** and she won't treat you like that. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/6/2009 11:04:47 AM | | dont talk to her, dont approach her, give her dirty looks, thats what women like! slowly you will find women attracted to you. I did the ol be nice stuff never works. As long as u show some fun, bad boy persona, but dont be insecure and yucky like the bad boys you will do fine :) | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/6/2009 11:28:29 AM | | I think everyone else put it a lot better than I could, but if I may add, just leave her be. She'll only continue to use you as her emotional crutch as long as you let her. | |
|
| Rejection
Posted: 9/20/2009 5:04:25 PM | | If you were hiring a lawyer would you hire the weak non agreesive type or one who you know is going to fight for you? Women only want nice guys when the situation calls for it. Thats what they mean when you hear them say they want someone strong and sensitive. Gain her respect and you can gain her heart. | |
|
Home
login 
