| | Uh Oh, ReligionPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Ok. So here's the skinny. I used to drink, party, be nuts, even did the occasional weed, etc.
Now I've become a Jesus Freak. Bible Beater. Whatever you wanna call me, it's cool.
I've now inevitably limited myself greatly in terms of who I can date. I personally would still date pretty much anyone. BUT not as many people are interested when you're like oh yeah, I don't drink, or oh yeah I go to church twice a week. People especially roll their eyes at the "born again Christian". It's really strange... like people who were raised to be strict Christians that's ok with the world. But when you're "born again" so to speak the eyes really roll. But that's a whole other topic...
What I'm really after is... any suggestions? Where does one now go to find some dates? Church and volunteer type things are obvious but where else? There must be a million ideas out there.
I welcome all ideas from anyone and from any religion.
Hit me with it. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 4:12:40 AM | Utah.
Kansas.
Oklahoma.
Don't masturbate it's a sin or something. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 4:23:08 AM | Try the site meetup.com...NOT a dating site but a place where online people collect then meet in real life. I'm sure you've got other interests right?
If not, you need to develop some. Being a Christian is great but I'm sure you do other things beyond read your Bible right? One hopes so...you need to be well balanced.
And realize that it will take time, just like anything else. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:02:13 AM | Yep, meetup.com is a great way to find other people with like interests or at least get out to socialize.
But are you only looking for another Christian woman? Are you open and non-judgemental toward other religions? Just things to think about to be able to open yourself up to other romantic opportunities. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:35:43 AM | Most larger churches have game nights and/or a single group you can be part of. If your church doesn't, call around to others and ask if they do.
Like others said, MeetUp.com is good.
If going to college, try to find a Bible study or something there. Maybe a class.
Ok. So here's the skinny. I used to drink, party, be nuts, even did the occasional weed, etc.
Now I've become a Jesus Freak. Bible Beater.
I have noticed people with addictive personalities go from one extreme to the next. May I suggest also getting some counseling or joining a Bible study... or something to get some focus and direction in your life. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:21:18 AM | | Google Christian dating sites. I wish more religious people would go there. It would make it a lot easier on everyone. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:39:05 AM | I am Valentina, 50 years old, "born again Christian" , and I try to give you some ideas. smile
I dance Salsa, West Coast Swing, some Ball Room, and I really think that dancing is a nice opportunity for you to meet nice people.
I make lots of new friends, many of them are from the world, not from the Kingdom, smile but still.... good environment, clean fun, etc.. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:48:42 AM | | You are trusting in God now. So leave it up to Him. God already has your life planned out. Try to get past what YOU want, and start trying to understand the reason "why" someone comes into your life. He will provide the boat, but he won't make you get in it. Did that make a bit of since?... | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 12:55:55 PM | If religion is the center of your life now, date within your religion.
Damn sinners are everywhere else. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 1:31:44 PM | Actually, I agree with the last messages. Sometimes I wonder for myself if being in a dating site is the right think to do. Is this the will of God?
I would say very important is to seek the Kingdom first, keep connection with God through prayers and reading His Book, and listen to the answer the Holly Spirit will plant in our hearts. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 1:36:53 PM | | Yep, God will scare you up a piece of ass. Have faith. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 1:55:27 PM | I agree that you should probably find somebody that shares your beliefs. So it wouldn't be a bad idea to focus mainly on places where that is likely to happen (i.e. church, etc. as you have mentioned). It's cool that you're open to dating people that don't necessarily live the same lifestyle you do, but ultimately that might result in a compatibility issue down the road.
Chris Rock said it pretty well. A relationship can't work if one person is into going to church and the other one is into smoking crack. But two crackheads can stay together forever.
Good luck, man. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:16:02 PM | Well, SHOULD they be so interested in you?
Not drinking AT ALL, especially due to religious reasons, will get in the way of many people's tastes. Much like a massively huge sports fan always attending games and watching them on TV and keeping track, and the other person not knowing what a basketball is.
Also, if you became a Jesus Freak so-to-speak because you used to drink, party, be nuts, do a little pot, etc... you obviously have a very positive association with your newfound religion because you're not doing that stuff and feel better. Hey, if a community vigorously following ancient texts gets you to be well behaved in normal society by hammering it into you, that's for the better... I know a Mormon who was helped out a lot (they don't drink, including Red Bull - lol)... and prisoners are exposed to that. It's an easy way to hit someone's emotions to be a behaved person.
But when it comes to someone being passionate about their religion and it being woven into every part of their life, and not just something on the side that they may refer to (like most folks), it's a clash of personalities. So no, you're not compatible (usually).
You should go places where there's other born-agains. How about church? You go there every 2 weeks! Extra-cirriculars out there... maybe a local college Campus Crusade For Christ... you have an inn to many social clubs & events! | |
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PeggyI
| | Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 14 | |
| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:40:07 PM | You have said it yourself "I've now inevitably limited myself greatly in terms of who I can date". The only suggestion I can make is to attend events where multiple churches are sending members in order to widen your dating pool.
You set the parameters of your life. That's the way it goes.
All I can say is that when I see any kind of religious anotations on someone's profile, I move right on. Not interested, not going there, don't even want to know about it. I have also turned down multiple first emails from the same type of people. There is no point in corresponding with someone whose entire world view and outlook on life is so diametrically opposed to everything I believe and everything I stand for. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 2:49:01 PM | | Being born again you're perfectly positioned to find and pursue any woman, anywhere. If my understanding is correct, you've died to the temporal realm and got born into the spiritual perfection of God's love. OK then, in a state of grace with your purpose now being to manifest that love, you're a walking love machine, able to accept whomever you meet in the spirit of eternal union. I'm not sure how a woman who was looking for more than just a quick carnal reminder could resist that type of love. The only thing standing in your way is the prejudice against religious zealots, so, don't play that role. Let the goodness shine through, as the beacon it is, towards which she will come if her heart is open and searching. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 4:54:51 PM | First of all there is nothing wrong with believing in God; I love God and he's the man. But I also dont run around judging people and acting like I know the way and everyone else is going to burn.
Be respectful The best way to show who God is, is by loving ALL people and being cool about it.
If you date, people want to get to know you, not your beliefs. If you slam it into their faces, your toast.
Also born agains only date born agains. If you dont', you are unevenly yoked and thats a problem.
I would say the only thing is be yourself, dont thump the bible, and dont be fake. If you are acting like you are skipping your way through life like dorothy in the wizard of oz then you are fake.
I'm sure it will work out. The churches and outreaches and singles groups are filled with Christian girls. good luck. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 5:42:16 PM | First, you have to ask yourself if you're okay with dating someone whose beliefs are very different from yours. Or even a little different.
If the answer is no, then you're right in that you've limited yourself. But, on the flip side, would you rather be alone or with someone who you really don't want to be with?
If the answer is yes, then there's nothing wrong with dating outside your religion, provided there is a mutual respect in it. Are you able to talk to others at their own level? What I mean by that is are you able to respect the fact that someone else's beliefs may be different than yours and tailor your conversation accordingly?
In the end, only you can decide what is right for you. Yes, you may be limiting your dating pool, but you are the only one who can decide if that is the right thing to do. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 7:02:38 PM | | Most "religious" people that I know met their spouses in church or at a church activity. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 10:56:31 PM | what's the problem?
i tolerate pretty much every religion, even Hebrew
I'm agnostic so, i hate when people preach it | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/2/2009 11:49:25 PM | Try a website called Christian Mingle.com There are lots of folks of your "born again" religious bent there. Even though it wasn't a fruitful dating site for me, with my being a member of a "liberal" denomination and a card-carrying Democrat.  | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/3/2009 3:11:42 AM | | Great replies everyone. To clarify(although this is irrelevant as it is not what I asked, lol) I am not the preachy type. Having came from where I came from I understand the minds of people and am fully aware that 95% of the individuals out there have no interest in being preached to. To clarify further, I AM open to dating people from all walks of life HOWEVER most people would not be interested in me because of my beliefs/lack of certain activities, ie drinking, smoking, etc. If anyone wants to comment further knock yourself out. Thanks again. | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/3/2009 5:09:33 AM | Congratulations on finding God and incorporating the teachings of Christ in your life. That's a wonderful thing, and you have no reason to worry about finding someone now that you have your faith. There are plenty of Christians on this site, and there is no reason in the world why you can't find someone to date right here.
I will caution you, however, about being new to faith and religion. Sometimes the newly converted are a bit 'over-zealous', and haven't yet settled themselves into the incorporation of your faith into your everyday life. Relax a bit. You don't have to go around shouting about the wonders of Christ to be a good Christian. Living by example and having a healthy balance of the morals, values and ethics that your church teaches is better than running around crazy...I know you are excited about your being 'born-again', but some people are quiet in their faith, and you know the Bible says that it is better to be alone and pray in silence than stand on a street and blow a trumpet. Don't ask me to find chapter and verse on that...my dad is much better at that than I am!
Never be ashamed or embarrassed about your faith, but learn when and how to introduce it into conversations. I hate the term 'Jesus Freak' and 'Bible Thumper', most Christians aren't like that at all...only the zealots and they give us a bad name.
Live by the word, show those around you how you've changed by the new way you live. Then when they notice the change, and your new demeanor, then tell them that you've found faith, and answer any questions they may have.
Remember, everyone has the right to worship the way they choose, and sometimes those who haven't come to Christ yet have just as good morals and ethics and values as the most devout church-goer. So learn as much as you can, find your joy, and you will lead by example!
I wish you every happiness, and once again, God Bless! | |
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| Uh Oh, Religion
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:59:10 AM |
To clarify(although this is irrelevant as it is not what I asked, lol) I am not the preachy type. Having came from where I came from I understand the minds of people and am fully aware that 95% of the individuals out there have no interest in being preached to. To clarify further, I AM open to dating people from all walks of life HOWEVER most people would not be interested in me because of my beliefs/lack of certain activities
I disagree with your last statement about people not being interested. You don't come across as the preachy type, and you being open to dating folks who aren't "believers" or "hardcore followers" should ring something in for you. The reason many folks don't like the "born-agains" is BECAUSE they are the preachy type... they'll damn this and that and have an uptight lifestyle in the same way a health-nut is about one's diet and spout it out.
It's about the attitude. My advice? Don't mention how you're "born again" -- if you're not preachy, no reason to let any cats out of the bag, right? You're Christian, big deal -- that can mean anything. Keep your religion personal as you claim it is, and if you don't care what a particular gal's religious beliefs are, you let her know after some dates as a side-note that "yeah, I go to church, I like it. I'm not the preachy type at all, it's just a personal thing..." Guess what? Won't really be an issue. | |
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