| | Am I a Pig?Page 1 of 1 | I've been in a relationship with the nicest girl for about 7 years and we have 2 kids. But I can't help stop thinking about finding someone who attracts me more physcially because our sex life is pretty bad as she just doesn't turn me on much anymore. This makes me feel like I've had my balls cut off for about the past few years.
I've told my partner that we should see other people because I didn't think our relationship would change much because we were more like friends rather than partners.
She has caught me chatting to other women and knows about me meeting them and she still treats me well, cooks for me, cleans, lets me have her whenever I want, and says she loves me even when i treat her like crap.
Its very hard to leave a woman like this and i know i don't deserve someone this good, but I can't help being a man and feeling the need to want to have some lust in my life.
I had a few dates and although the women were a lot more attractive than my current partner they weren't nowhere near as nice. I guess im looking for the perfect woman, but am I expecting too much in life? Am I too unrealistic? Is there such a thing? Should I just be happy with what I have? Or should i leave this lovely lady who is the mother of my kids all for the sake of ****?
Im ready for all the verbal abuse im sure im going to get. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 7:58:53 AM | oooooooo 
i pretty much know what sort of responses you are going to get, but i'm curious if someone out there would have the balls to say it how it is 
/reserved | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:07:08 AM | | In these days...if you're not attracted you're not attracted. It may be best to move on. Or that's what i'm learning rather. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:09:01 AM | These are all great questions that a counselor could help you with. I personally cannot believe that for only SEX you would dump a woman that you love (?), the mother of your children, someone you have been with for 7 years, and break up the family.
It always makes me wonder if there is something *else* that you are avoiding facing, and instead you are using "bad sex" as the culprit.
Talk to a counselor before continuing to do these stupid things like dating other women. The damage you do by doing THAT may very well be irreparable and you probably will regret it--you are ruining your relationship with your woman AND WITH YOUR KIDS.
You are a pig for cheating, yes. There are many many men out there who are pigs just like yourself, if that helps you feel better about being a pig. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:12:12 AM | Ah, well this is a tricky one. While I understand the comfort factor (not to mention all the other pleasantries - I wish I had someone to cook and clean for me!) it doesn't mean it's right to use her like you are. Are you being a pig? Not necessarily. Are you being a bad person? Yeah, kind of. Not only are you limiting yourself and what you may find (because I can guarantee if you find your "perfect" girl, she's going to flip her lid if she finds out about the treatment of your last girl) but you're holding back this woman from finding the happiness SHE deserves. For whatever reason (I won't go so far as to accuse you of mental abuse) she is putting up with the horrible way you're treating her.
You asked if you should leave the mother of kids all for the sake of well...lust. No. You should leave her because clearly the spark isn't there any more and you two just don't belong together - simple as that.
So quit using her, learn to take care of yourself, and maybe someday (after Karma is done kicking your butt) you'll find your "perfect" girl...but you'll never find her dilly-dallying around with someone else. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:13:35 AM | Grow up and act like a man to your woman and a father to your kids.
I'm willing to bet that she's still being nice to you because she loves you. But she's not as sexual as you want her to be because you're doing something that makes her feel unloved.
Put some effort into your relationship with this woman who loves you. Show her how you appreciate her, treat her like a queen, tell her she's beautiful, be romantic. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:25:03 AM | You have the greatest blessing anyone could possibly want and this is how you treat the mother of your children? Do you realize how fortunate you are to have such a good woman? Do you really? You are an ungrateful pig. If things are so bad, just move the hell on then. If you think the grass is so green, then move on and let her be. Cos you're right. There's never gonna be another woman as good as the one you've got, so you better start waking up. Most women like me would never stand for that sort of thing. I'm just amazed your girlfriend is so accepting of it. Makes me wonder if she's not seeing other people as well, like you suggested.
Why don't you do something nice for her like, sending her away for a spa treatment or, you know....something nice so she can just get away and be herself for awhile. Why don't you take her shopping? Get her a new hair style and do her nails? Buy her a new wardrobe with some sexy lingerie? And then let someone have the kids for the weekend and spend time having passionate sex in every corner of the house. If not? Go your separate ways if sex is that important to you. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:36:17 AM | Im not using her, I've told her how i felt and she just gives me the silent treatment which makes me feel guilty and a bad person and its not like I have anywhere else to go to. Then she does stuff like buy me viagra or get me off somehow to try and make me happy.
I've also tried to grow up and be a man, I look after all the financial things, take them out to a nice dinner, get her a flower on mothers day that kinda thing, but something inside me doesn't want to be "romantic" and treat her like a queen, how can I when I don't feel it for her in that way?
I let her have night out's, i pay for her to go to the beauty salon, and I stay home with the kids whenever she asks me to. I just want her to be happy but she says she needs me to be happy?!? No she has never cheated she's really against bringing any men whatsoever to the house with our kids, If a guy approaches her she just blows them off, it seems like she isn't even vaguely interested in any other men but me?
| |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:40:00 AM | | Well dude.....it's a fact of life people in long term relationships do fall in and out of love. Sort of "one of life's phases" we all go thru. Relationships are far more deeper the just sex. Final note, maybe it's time to put the weed up for awhile. Might even raise your Libedo...nothing else, it might make you a better companion and father...and trust me when I say this.......child support costs a lot more than that "new" piece of azz you are after! | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:42:20 AM |
but she says she needs me to be happy
ahhh, woman talk that you obviously don't understand.
Maybe you need to look inside yourself, are you happy with your life and I'm not talking about women, sex and relationships here. Are you happy with your job, goals, life in general? Do you complain and not do anything to fix your complaints? Are you stagnating or moving forward in your personal goals and ambitions? Do you talk the talk or do you walk the walk? | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:43:25 AM |
I've been in a relationship with the nicest girl for about 7 years and we have 2 kids. But I can't help stop thinking about finding someone who attracts me more physcially because our sex life is pretty bad as she just doesn't turn me on much anymore
It couldn't have been all bad for you to stick it out for 7 years and have two kids...
Maybe you don't turn her on anymore....the majority of women have to be stimulated emotionally to feel sexual....doesn't seem like you're fitting that bill with this comment:
says she loves me even when i treat her like crap.
i don't deserve someone this good
Nope, you sure don't...
I guess im looking for the perfect woman, but am I expecting too much in life? Am I too unrealistic? Is there such a thing? Should I just be happy with what I have? Or should i leave this lovely lady who is the mother of my kids all for the sake of ****?
I don't think you're being unrealistic at all...leave her, please.... that perfect woman is out there somewhere...I'm sure of it...!! Go hurry....she's waiting...
 Oink...!!! | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:47:58 AM | You mention she's the nicest girl... she loves you... she treats you well... cooks for you... cleans, lets you have her whenever you want. You treat her like crap? Not once did I see you mention anywhere, that you love her.
No matter what we advise you, if you dont love her, why are you there making babies? If you DO love her and just "forgot" to mention that part, my suggestion would be to realize that our bodies change while pregnant and after the births of children. (Men have this part easy, no physical changes after donations). IF you love her, and want her to get back to where she was when you WERE physically attracted to her, offer to walk with her and the babies, take the FAMILY out for exercise, encourage her without giving her the "if you dont get back in shape I'll leave you" situation. There are plenty of ways you can help encourage her and stand by her, without being rude.
If the love from you isnt there, it would be best all the way around, to let you both move on. Support her and your children, mentally, emotionally. Please remember though, YOU helped in contributing to what her body looks like now.
You should be thankful she hasnt left you after knowing you have met up with others. She sounds like a RARE breed indeed, I wish you could see how lucky you've been to have her a part of your life so far. Best wishes. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:53:08 AM | at the end of the day u dont love her cause if u did?????? u be the one puttin in the
effort to make it more excitin not her!!!!!
if u want more excitement in bed department wat the **** are u doing about it!!!!!!
let me guess nothin hahahaha!!!!!
do u know wat annoys me about this msg....she should kick u out the door on top of your head!!!now doing the opposite she probably scaried thats why...
one she is too easygoing for ya which is a bad thing as we see....
funny thing with men like u...u will have to learn the hard way be4 u know wat u actually have so good luck to ya with that because guy that does that wat are doing.. WHAT happens is u get somethin else and realise wat u had be4 was perfect!!!
jus think if the shoe was on the other foot wat would u want her to do?????
u are playin her like a toy...its really sad more than anythin because u prove the point of what women think of men....
| |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:53:22 AM | | Oink...Oink...Oink... | |
|
Ependa
| | Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 15 | |
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:55:52 AM | Well, hell..sex is very important in a relationship. It's not uncommon for couples with kids , or just couples who are together a long time to get into 'ruts' sexually..which can even lead eventually to almost no sex life. Wanting a good sex life does not make you a pig.
The stress of kids, everyday life,bills, cleaning,cooking, etc...can really make an impact on your sex life. It takes two to have a fantastic sex life. (that means , you , too in case you're not getting it).
You have two choices to take the high road:
1) talk to each other, try to work it out, go to counselling, spice up your sex life together ie. actually work at your relationship...as opposed to leaving because it's hard or no longer sexually exciting for you (which again, this IS a 2 way street)
2) Don't string her along... leave her and let her raise your kids for you and find a good man to satisfy her sexually and be a good partner
Or, you could take the low road , which it sounds like you are trying to justify..where she raises your kids, cooks and cleans for you, and you treat her like a doormat and go f*k other women. In theory, eventually she will wise up. And yes, this choice would make you a scumbag and a pig.
jmho
oh , and btw...excessive pot smoking can affect your performance negatively..so you might wanna look at quitting the pot instead of your woman
edit...I read some of the other responses , and I have to add this. I don't mean this as an attack (but I'm sure I'll get zinged on this one by the gamers)...if you're smoking pot and playing video games..chances are you aren't present in the relationship in the first place. It's easy to get caught up in a fantasy world and that does negatively impact your sex life, family life,etc. What you put an effort towards will flourish.
Lose the pot and video games for 6 months and see where it takes you. Just try it. Reality is much more exciting anyway. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 8:56:12 AM | Well, you're going to do whatever it is you do- but NEVER for a second think the grass is going to be greener on the other side... cause it ain't...
Chances are you'll be the one left in the gutter and she will move on and find someone better... And then we'll get a new Forum post: "I screwed up- how do I get the mother of my children back?" | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:01:00 AM | | Two words......oink oink | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:07:45 AM | You have a lot to toss, maybe you should consider counseling, if you are not happy. I would ask myself if i had a choice of being with this person or being alone, would I stay alone. If you would prefer to be alone, than that is your answer.
Please do not be 1 of those people that have to keep someone at your side. Be able to be by yourself, and you will be much happier. Right now, it sounds like you are looking for an upgrade and when you find it, you will leave her. It is kind of messed up in a way too, because what happens if she had been a car accident, so, she is not able to fufill any of the duties that you like. Would you immediately leave, and the next woman might have 2 children, so now you have 4 children. That woman might change in appearance as well, when babies and time gets hold of her. Follow your spirit!
You also have potsmoker as your name, and you like video games. Okay, I love video games so you get a pass on that. You have to make some really tough decisions and it should not be based on, what you fancy at the moment. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:21:01 AM |
I've been in a relationship with the nicest girl for about 7 years
Didn't need to read the rest,. You are at the 7 year itch thing. Get a hobby stay in the relationship another year. Both of you work on it. If you still feel the way you do then leave.
Year 7 one of the top 3 years of couples breaking up | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:22:41 AM | The grass isn't always greener on the other side and while u might be finding women more attractive then the mother of your children you are risking throwing your family into chaos and pain. Have you thought about the expense of legal fees, child support, spousal support?
Why don't you try to rekindle the spark you once had? Why don't you bring some excitement into your bedroom that you both could enjoy. Go to a sex store. Want to be visually stimulated by other woman why don't you watch an erotic movie together.
If I was that woman and caught you chatting to other woman and meeting them I would have already thrown you out of the house and called a lawyer. You better think carefully about not only your needs and wants but your family. Are you a pig? I don't know but your post reeks of selfishness.
Maybe you should read some of the single parent forums and see how single parents get treated by the opposite sex. Both men and women have trouble dating when there are children involved. You haven't thought about all the consequences ur just thinking u need a piece of ###. | |
|
| Am I a Pig?
Posted: 9/2/2009 9:58:34 AM | | So, you are getting your meals cooked, clothes washed, home cleaned and a free babysitter without having to step-up and leave the nest. Yeah, you are a pig. | |
|
Home
login 
