| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:58:24 AM | You know how sometimes guys are very persistent when they like a particular woman? They may get "shot down" numerous times in their attempts to date her or get to know her. They may try and try for months or even years! .... and finally she gives in. Some use the expression " he wore her down" lol. He finally gets the girl... well, at least gets to date her for a while.
I was just wondering if this same "persistant" approach ever works on guys. Have any of you guys had a girl been very persistent over time trying to get to know you, or date you and you were not really that into her, but then finally you gave in? If so, did you give her a chance because SHE liked you so much that you felt somewhat drawn to her? If that wasn't it - then what? What made you give it a chance? Did you start to see things in her personality that sparked something??
Or, does this NEVER happen for guys? | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:05:35 PM |
Or, does this NEVER happen for guys? Never happened for me. That's not to say I would NEVER be persistent--just that in general it's a waste of time for a guy to pursue a woman who likes to play "hard to get" or thinks guys enjoy "the chase". The only way I see a scenario working in my favor is if I had nothing better going on while an aloof lady was stringing me along--that doesn't really say much for my character or my taste in women now, does it? | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:43:51 PM | I'm surprised to hear this actually works at all. I associate persistance with not being able to take a hint and move on. That's not to say I wouldn't try again with someone I liked for a long time. I know one particular woman I've met I would probably test the waters with if I ever bumped into her again. But I don't pursue her at all. She gave clear signals she's not interested so I think it is courteous to respect that. Situations and people change. I would like to see her somewhere, strike up a conversation and ask her out. If she said no, I would accept it. If I saw her again in a few months, might try again. I wouldn't try phoning or writing her emails and try to 'wear her down'. I think that would only annoy her and come across as weak behaviour.
To answer the question from a guy's perspective. I don't think so. I have one friend who is persistant with me. I must say I do think about it. I don't think it'll ever happen though. I am always up front and don't lead her on. She continues to be my friend and is clear she would like more but never pushes it. If she was very persistant and try to wear me down the friendship would end.
Happy Fishing | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 3:11:52 PM | Not yet.
Doesn't keep em from trying though.
One girl was so persistent I set her up with my wingman to finally get some peace.
But now that he's in jail on a DWI, she's calling me almost every day.
supposedly about him and his business.
But actually to nose into mine.
*sigh*
I need to get another wingman
or a new number. | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 3:27:04 PM | | That never happened to me, but most likely it wouldn't happen because if i don't like someone right off in a relationship standpoint, I definitely would not like the person down the line. I here this happening to women but I have a sneaking suspicion that the women who gives in after that time has blew it with whoever she was into at the time leading to "settling" for someone who wants her. | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 3:33:41 PM | | Guys don't generally play hard to get like that is some worthy behavior. Keep that in mind OP when you read men's replies here. The guy often believes that persistence pays off because it DOES when the woman plays the "hard to get" game or she thinks there's some sort of virtue in repressing her feelings. When a guy finds a woman attractive, he'll want her to stay that way; vice versa is true, if at first he didn't find the lady attractive, something will have to change. This was mentioned in Msg11. It's a tough uphill climb. | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 3:43:31 PM | Sure it will work if you do it with your eyes open.
If he gets really annoyed with the attention, then back off. But if he obviously likes it, continue.
Men are so used to pursuing that it would be refreshing. But, if he's not into you then get ready for some disappointments along the way. He'll try to throw you off track.
The 'creepy' factor that women feel when a guy you don' t like pursues you works the same way for guys. They may think you're stalking them or you're off your rocker -- so don' t overdo it. | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 5:35:00 PM | Wouldn't work on me. They might be able to get me to go through the motions if I didn't have anything else going on, but they wouldn't change my feelings.
If I had a very specific reason for being disinterested that they proved wrong, it would work, but I don't think that's what we're talking about. | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 6:16:39 PM | CaramelSweetness2:
What I was actually asking is: Can a girl EVER get a GUY's attention by continuing to persue HIM.... letting him know that she is really INTO him? Does this kind of persistence work for guys?
I know it works on women. I wanted to know if it works on MEN. ??
I can personally vouch for 'no'.
I didn't start dating until a year ago, my first experience ever being with a guy from this website actually. I was swooned from the start and was very persistent, but not to the point of being clingy. He usually responded to my advances but I continued to go weeks (even a month or so), without ever hearing from him unless I initiated contact. Due to my naivety and inexperience I always made excuses for him and bought into his, "I'm busy with work" bullcrap, never wanting to take 'no' for an answer. Eventually I took the hint when he expressed his lack of interest in a relationship. It took me a longggg time to realize that he just wasn't into me, no matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise or how valid his lame excuses sounded at the time. | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:08:30 PM | I am not sure how to take this are you trying to get him to do the dishes or is your pursuit in other areas? lol
Are you asking for maximum security answers like tactics and strategy ????????
I have never had a problem with getting someone to give me a chance but I will say this to you ...... Don't wish too hard you may get what you wish for.
It is fantastic when you both realize that the spark is there don't you think? | |
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| Persistance can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:55:48 PM | Red Buttons:
Personally I'd love to see these guys who ignore such cute women as Ms Cobra here---I mean are they like from the planet Unobtainable or what?? They're either so damned wonderful women clutter their doorsteps constantly or they're just not into women. Mind you some of the gorgeous ones can be dead from the neck up but the Cobrakaikid just does NOT appear that way at all!!
And where does that name come from anyway??
But there are certainly some instances where being persistent makes us feel foolish for ignoring or missing all the signs coming from them----I've been just as guilty as that myself. A bit of being in denial but it happens----and isn't the worst things we'll ever deal with in dating!
My username is a reference to Karate Kid. 
It's safe to say that my interest in the guy definitely exceeded his in me, and he was more after sex. I thought he would grow to like me with time.... if only I knew what I know now. He never made his intentions known until I asked him, and even then he was vague and being evasive about it. He tried to take the cowardly silent treatment route, but because I liked him that much I didn't heed any of the warning signs that arose. You're right though, I do feel foolish in the way that I handled it but it's a learning lesson. That was my first ever dating experience and now I know exactly how I need to conduct myself in the future.
Thank you for the flattering words though. Appearance-wise I probably just wasn't what he was looking for and on top of that, he obviously didn't feel the chemistry to want to pursue a relationship with me. He has his reasons and I can overanalyze all I want, but it's useless since I don't want to be with someone like that.
Needless to say, he is still single and still has a profile on here. | |
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| Persistence can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:35:37 AM | Another woman chiming in to say, probably not... similar experience, the guy found me appealing and liked me well enough, but only so much. He led me on a bit, but I think not purposely, just not wanting to hurt my feelings. It never got to be more.
We talked about it some time later, when this was well over, and he confessed to some regret that he could not reciprocate in full, as he thought that I would be really good for him - but you just can't make it happen!
On the flip side, the only times it's worked on me were when I really was interested, or at least attracted, from the get-go, but had reservations for other reasons, such as age difference or distance. Then I was persuadable, but it took some doing. This might be true for men, too. Guys? What do you think on that one? | |
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| Persistence can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:59:58 AM | | It depends on the individuals, persistence won't work on all men and it certainly won't work on all women. I tried being persistent(yet still respectful) a couple of times on here with some women(only because I felt as though they were closer to a perfect match as I could ever find yet still ignored/deleted my initial correspondence without even giving it a chance) and the only response that has gotten me so far is getting blocked or ignored further. I'm really inclined to say that being persistent doesn't work but, than again, I have seen it work for others and I know that being passive can be a lot worst. It's probably just best to move on to someone else reguardless. | |
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| Persistence can wear a girl down til she gives in - Does it work for guys?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:28:22 AM |
the only times it's worked on me were when I really was interested, or at least attracted, from the get-go, but had reservations for other reasons, such as age difference or distance. Then I was persuadable, but it took some doing. This might be true for men, too. Guys? What do you think on that one? Maybe. If the persuasion is SUBTLE, rational, and not at a high frequency. In other words, not stalkerish. Then it's still an uphill battle. Hey, ya never know til you try. | |
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