| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:26:31 AM | We haven't had a poetry contest for awhile. lol
They're not really contests.. no judges.
There are bound to be some drunks and wallflowers that are bored
this weekend.  Could be some drunk hotties too!
Don't be shy.
The fun part about these is that it shows what's in your imagination.
No rules on pentameter and no slide rule required.
The only rule is that you write about a topic.
this beats haiku all to hell!
...and the three topics are!.. :
1) The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
2) I must have had that backwards.
3) That was actually crepe paper caught in my spokes.
Remember, no rules other than including a topic.
And no judges. Somebody start! | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:20:01 PM | Hiya B! 
Not drunk yet (maybe I should be, lol) but I'll go first.
A horny brown fox
Itching to get his fix
Went walkabout one day,
Seeking out jollies and kicks.
Soon he spied a sleeping hound,
And approached all arrogant;
Poked her awake "Pardon me, ma'am,
But I'd like you to present".
The dozy hound, an eyebrow c*cked,
Said "Pardon me there, son?
It's 2009 now, haven't you heard?
That's no longer how it's done."
"So whip it out and make it quick,
And do a dance for me;
And if you can entice enough
I might just jump on thee".
The fox, all c*cky, began to dance
And strut before the hound.
Next thing he knew, she'd pounced on him
And tackled him to the ground. 
Oh wait! One was supposed to jump OVER the other, not on, right?
Oops! Disney porn, I guess! | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 3:52:40 PM | I must have had it backwards,
I thought with an odd little twitch,
It wasn't a thong,
When I put it on,
Better turn around my gitch!
Hey,Dog! | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 4:12:36 PM | Okay..next one:
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
The dog had an owner.
The owner had a gun.
His wife now has a new fur coat.
The fox wasn't that quick now,was he? | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 4:33:23 PM | Leafs.... 
I made breakfast in bed for a beau one morn,
A frittata, of ham and cheese;
Bastage took off before I could feed him,
Despite me saying "Please....
...eat this"...
So I took them eggs, and gathered aim,
And caught that bicycle in my sight...
Must have over-cooked em, so they took off his wheel,
And ass over teakettle, did he take flight!
Errr...wait, B...you meant paper crepe, not edibles, ack! | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 4:49:34 PM | The quick brown fox
jumped over the lazy dog.
crepe trailing from his bum
cheeky bugger took one
look back and laughed
at the happy dog's
decor - um
(Kinda lame I know! Sorry ladies and Mr. Doggie, I tried ) | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 5:17:56 PM | ^^^ Umm...what eggs-actly did that fox eat, Sophia, that crepe was trailing plumes behind him?!
Erm...wait...must have been my frittata! | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 5:21:24 PM | One day a boy went out hunting a fox
Soon enough, he had her blocked...
his hounds were ragin'
His heart was sayin'
"Holy shit, she may be the one."
But that damn old fox
Too smart for foolish games
Hopped out of the fence
And went on down the lane
To seek greater fortunes
And experience more of life
Never once looking back
To see him in his strife
For his fox hunt
Has produced only coons
Demons of the night
Unable to be swooned
Hearts so cold
They can't even see
That in their darkest hour
Only true love will be the key
To a happy life
Prosperous yet content
In a old, gray fox
Free from a life of regret
Seeking to discover
the truest pleasure ever known
Smiling from the abyss
Patiently awaiting her throne. | |
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| You all are funny
Posted: 9/4/2009 5:22:27 PM | They are all great...just realized this forum stuff was here...I likes it | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:23:11 PM | THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPED OVER THE LAZY DOG
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog
To prove he wasn't a twentieth century cog
In a nightmare Charlie Chaplin film on the machine-
Tooled efficiency of the industrial screws
Who spank the peons with rude outdated rules.
Brown fox of sly motion, sleek and mean,
Take five and hang ten, like the mutt still aground.
Quaff a twenty-ounce mint julep with loud sucking sounds.
Whet your whiskers on a foxy gadabout.
Hoot away the busy blues, lay on your back. Shout.
Render unto the ant the workaholic burn
Where fevers and levers of sweat once churned. | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:31:16 PM | Okay.
crepe papered spokes in the labor day parade
the queen riding in the drop top is waving
you remember those days?
all of the kids just glowing? | |
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| labor day wkend poetry contest....anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:35:57 PM | he loved me more than i've ever known
more than life itself, i was told
we were meant for each other
he made my heart sing
until he left me
standing
alone
I must have had that backwards
(again)
*********
(especially for you...in the stale 5-7-5 american haiku tradition...my grand finale....)
sly fox quick and brown
gamboling over again
while lazy dog sleeps
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| labor day wkend poetry contest....anyone?
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:50:53 PM | why follow patterns
when you can set your own trend
why absorb into nothing
when you can be the end
of the maddening consumerism
that has given us such purpose
rather take a hot bath
in a copper tub
to me that makes much more sense
for they still cost money
but last forever
instead of the next big thing
grab someone who can weather
hard times, false crimes
committed on the heart
long before you bothered to start...
loving
me. | |
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| labor day wkend poetry contest....anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 7:51:26 AM | I told y'all these were fun.
And they bring out some pretty dang beautiful people. 
It's early into the weekend yet, too.
Don't forget, you can write as many writes as you want on any
of the topics. The more the merrier..
I must have had that backwards
I thought I wrote it down
lost somewhere out in spiral notebook space
without a doubt
I'm stuck back in eighties
and sometimes I lose my notes
I'm distracted by most things shiny
P says it's from too many tokes!
 I'd nearly forgotten how funny you people are. | |
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| labor day wkend poetry contest....anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 8:39:12 AM | while traveling down my favorite path
the strangest thing happened,that caused me a laugh
on a pretty spring morning,right there in the fog
i watched the quick brown fox,jump over the lazy azzed dog | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:26:47 AM | 'twas venus and mars
mr grey wrote one day
trying to define
what was wrong
in his own mind
sharing quite completely
his relationship futility.....
so was it venusian men
and martian women?
seemed to me insanity
and mostly fabrication
constructed to remedy
his own division
felt internally.....
no, wait a minute....
it was martian men
and venusian women
in my memory....
honestly....it's so bloody confusing....
when the theory one is using
is totally written as duality
refusing to see any unity....
so it's not surprising to me
I must have had that backwards....completely!
~~~~~~~
oh dear...not funny at all.....hmmm...let me try again....
That was actually crepe paper caught in my spokes
though I know what you were thinking, you silly folks,
you see I was cycling to my sister's wedding
cuz my car that day just would not start
after I'd used it to transport all the decorations
for it was my gift to her from the bottom of my heart....
So I was dressed very formally
running quite late that day
but when starting my car
it refused to obey!
Everyone in the family
was there already waiting for me
so I gave up on my car
and grabbed my bicycle
for the church was not that far....
But unbeknownst to me
a long piece of crepe paper
had stuck to my shoe
jumping in and out of the car...
as you do....
So I climbed on my bike
ready to ride, rather than hike,
but realized a trip to 'the loo'
was first necessary
before any peddling would ensue....
Um....oh no....
I really thought it was the crepe paper on my shoe
that got all wound round my spokes while I flew
.....oh dear....so everyone knew....
guess I must have had this backwards as well.....
oh swell....
And I forgot to tell
the moral of my story....
well, not the moral of this story
but could be some sort of allegory....
when you're the quick brown fox
jumping over the lazy dog
make sure this mutt is one you like
just in case you should slip
and end up touching lip to lip
for dogs really prefer to lick
rather than to fight.
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 2:06:08 PM | Gee, thanks brawny...I'll take any kind of bliss going
(well, maybe not any :)....but please continue this thread as labour day weekend has only just
started! Besides, I thought you said it wasn't a real
contest....remember?
Can we maybe have new subjects?
and Sophia...really clever! | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 3:43:38 PM | The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog,
The lazy dog was sleeping like a log,
For the quick brown fox had spotted a She-fox,
The She-fox was laying over by the big empty box,
The quick brown fox was checking her out,
He walked over to see what she was all about,
He really liked what he saw,
She reached out to him with her paw,
They decided to get busy,
And after the deed they fell to the ground,
They both had gotten dizzy,
They both stood up for the next round,
One more time, the male fox did plead,
The she-fox liked him and agreed,
After the deed was was done,
And they had all their fun,
They each went their own way,
Both knowing they would meet the next day | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:34:05 PM | the kinda-quick
reddish-brown fox
leaped over
the great big dog.
if you ever asked
the great big dog
what her name is
she'd always answer "zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"
even when she's wide awake, which she
twice a day, to eat purina dog chow.
zzzzzzzzzzzzz is huge! i mean HUGE!
well, the kinda-quick reddish-brown fox,
whose name ...... speaking of tongues,
or tails if you prefer .....
in the language of foxes .....
is oooooff!! especially when oooooff!!
leaps over really big dogs. i mean REALLY BIG!!
when ooooooff!! leapt over zzzzzzzzzzzz
well, zzzzzzzzzzzzz yawned and stood up! she stood up!!!!!!!!!!
(when she's awake zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's name is "yawn")
oooooooff!! hit zzzzzzzzzzzz in her ribs
and crashed to the ground. i mean
it wasn't zzzzzzzzzzzz who crashed to the ground!
it was oooooooooooff!! who crashed to the ground!
so yawn, the great big dog, scratched her hip with one leg
to shed what she thought was a flea,
then took a nip at her ass for good luck
and then she layed down again. yawn's name
changed back to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
oh well, oooooooooff!! still has the same name,
it never changed. ooooooooff!! is still called oooooooooff!!!
(with one more exclamation mark!!! added.) that's life. | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:37:12 PM | As I was riding my bike down the road,
I came upon a big toad,
A girl was giving him a kiss,
Something that looked quite amiss,
In order to find your prince,
I told her it's frogs you must kiss,
There will be a lot of hit and miss,
She listened to what I had to say
And went on her merry way,
Something was wrong with my bike,
Which gave me a feeling I did not like,
The wheels weren't moving right,
So, I pulled over to the next site,
I looked at them and exclaimed " Holy Smokes"
That was actually crepe paper in my spokes. | |
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| labor day weekend poetry contest, anyone?
Posted: 9/5/2009 4:58:42 PM | bd ..... what a good idea. i'm having fun reading what my fellows poets are writing, and i had fun writing mine. how about this first a prize? i would send to the winner ...... determined by you or a vote by all interested parties ...... a book from my shelves,
"rumi and the whirling dervishes," which is somewhat appropriate to what we're doing here because of the poet rumi, and the iconoclatic & dancing whirling dervishes. the book is paperback, 8" x 11", 167 pages, and is full of black & white photos of the dervishes, of rumi, and of other stuff. the cover is a full page photo of dancing dervishes. whadaya think? | |
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